The GSD Mavens Share the Value of a Week-Long Entrepreneur Retreat

00:00:24 - Amber Hawley
Welcome to season two of the My Biz Bestie podcast. I'm Amber Hawley.

00:00:28 - Maelisa Hall
And I'm Melissa Hall.

00:00:30 - Amber Hawley
And today we have a super special episode because we got a chance to interview all of our mavens, all of the ladies in our little crew of nine. Unfortunately, because of the timing of this episode, we are one maven short.
We couldn't make our schedules for the three of us all match up. But we talked to everybody about what is the takeaway or the value that you get from doing a week-long GSD. And we... Absolutely loved getting the perspectives of all the women in our little tribe.
And for me, it was so cool because they reiterated a lot of what I had been feeling. And I feel like this last go around was especially bonding. And there was a lot of depth that came in the relationships that I felt.

But it was also nice to hear some little different things that I hadn't thought about. So this was a super fun episode to be able to talk to all of our ladies. What do you think, Melissa? Oh, yeah. I absolutely loved it. So without further ado, we want to introduce to you six of the other seven of our tribe of nine.
And we hope that you love it as much as we did.

00:01:38 - Maelisa Hall
And now we're chatting with Agnes Weinman. What's up, Agnes? Nothing much.

00:01:43 - Agnes Weinman
I'm just so excited to be talking to you both and seeing your faces.

00:01:48 - Amber Hawley
I haven't seen you in a few weeks. It's bad because I think the last time was a long lost sad look at the airport.

00:01:56 - Maelisa Hall
Oh my gosh. And that was quite the fiasco.

00:01:59 - Agnes Weinman
That was a fiasco with a capital F. I've never had to actually get off of a plane because the flight gets canceled at that last minute.

00:02:11 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. There were many Fs to give in that airport experience. Yeah. Many Fs. And the worst part is how we rushed out of the lodge and we could have, like, had we known all of this, you know, would have happened. We could have enjoyed our time together more, had a nice, lovely lunch together.
Oh, that was so frustrating.

00:02:29 - Agnes Weinman
Yes. But I will not let that color the week. Yes. The week was amazing. So it had to kind of, it couldn't maintain that level of awesomeness. It had to plummet back to reality.

00:02:43 - Amber Hawley
Just so that we could eventually transition and let go of the idea that we wanted to be back there. Because I frankly was swearing that I would never go back just because of that plane ride. I'm just kidding. No, I really did think that though.

00:02:58 - Maelisa Hall
Well, Agnes, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and then we'll continue on about the trip.

00:03:06 - Agnes Weinman
Sure. So my name is Agnes Weinman. I'm a clinical psychologist and the token Canadian in our GSD group. So I have a private practice in exotic London, Ontario. So yes, and I work primarily with overwhelmed, worried women. They are my peeps.

00:03:30 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, they're all our peeps.

00:03:32 - Agnes Weinman
I know.

00:03:33 - Amber Hawley
I was like, is that part of why you love us all so much?

00:03:37 - Maelisa Hall
It's where I feel at home.

00:03:41 - Amber Hawley
I like that.

00:03:42 - Maelisa Hall
I like that. And why does getting away from your practice for a week benefit you? Or what benefits do you find from it?

00:03:50 - Agnes Weinman
Well, it's such a... I was thinking about this question because I knew that's what we were going to be talking about. And it's like, usually a week away for me means... vacation with my family, which is awesome and lovely, but then it's completely just, you're in a totally different zone, you know?
And I am pretty good that when I'm like on vacation with my family, I really do unplug from work stuff. So to be able to actually be away from my practice, but still working on the business is a really cool experience. that I'm like in both modes. I'm in like away from the practice and like, especially this year, hanging out in my bathrobe pretty much all day, you know, and I still get to be accomplishing things and coming up with things and being around all of you, which, you know, unfortunately in my real life, I don't have a ton of in life people that I see on a regular basis.

So it's just, it like feeds my soul. I can't really, like, I feel super cheesy saying that, but it's just, I've come into it. Just, I don't know what's going to happen, but I know good stuff is going to happen.

00:05:02 - Amber Hawley
I like that. And I will testify that you are not a cheesy person. So that was some legit stuff for you to go there.

00:05:11 - Maelisa Hall
Yes.

00:05:13 - Amber Hawley
Yes.

00:05:14 - Maelisa Hall
And I feel like that's been a theme too, is kind of like, you know, something that's going to happen, but not exactly what it will be. You know, like everyone has kind of alluded to that.

00:05:24 - Agnes Weinman
Yeah. And I mean, good stuff doesn't always feel good. So I'm happy to share with your listeners that there was a moment in our trip where I just like sobbed heavily for like one to two hours. And that was not on my agenda. You know, there was, there was some sauna time, some massage time, some writing, but like unleashing that, all of this emotional stuff was not there.
And then, you know, you guys provide such a safe place to be able to do that. And it's like, all right, guys, here it is. This is where I'm at. It's messy. It's again, it's not necessarily coherent or there's no straight line from my meltdown to what I'm about to do in my practice, but like it's actually coming together.

00:06:11 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I think, you know, I don't know. We did talk about this a little bit. I'm not sure if it's because we're all therapists. I almost feel like we say, you might be a therapist if you start crying profusely for a couple hours and it feels cathartic.
But I have a feeling that when you're with really supportive women, being a therapist or not, that being able to be that vulnerable and letting go of that right? It's so beneficial. And those are those unexpected things that you don't plan for, because you're right, we do not schedule.
Well, some people I think schedule their meltdowns, but I... Yeah, I haven't figured that one out.

00:06:50 - Maelisa Hall
That's like a new level of project management right there.

00:06:54 - Amber Hawley
I have a theory that Mariah Carey actually schedules them because they happen so frequently.

00:07:03 - Anna Osborne
Poor Mariah.

00:07:06 - Amber Hawley
That's just my personal theory. But yeah, no, I think this was a unique week away. And we talked about this earlier when we were talking with some of the other ladies that I feel, I'm not sure if it's because now we're all getting closer after spending three years together and there's a deepening of connection or if it was the magic restorative experience of the Banya.

00:07:29 - Agnes Weinman
Did you share the Banya stories with your listeners?

00:07:37 - Maelisa Hall
We can make sure to do that in the intro.

00:07:38 - Amber Hawley
You need to fill them in about Banya. I feel like we mentioned being beaten with sticks, don't you? I feel at some point in a different episode. I think we did. In a different episode. But yes, we will need to share the full Banya experience because that was amazing.
But I do think it was a very restorative and vulnerable and I guess healing week. This is what I got mostly out of the last week.

00:08:03 - Agnes Weinman
Yeah. And I remember on one of the days I was talking to my husband and I was telling him about, you know, how like about my meltdown, you know, about how, again, because we are getting to know each other better, you know, kind of working through things that maybe are challenging, you know, and hurt feelings, but working through it and hugging and everything's fine.
And he was like, women vacations are weird.

00:08:27 - Amber Hawley
I love that. I love that.

00:08:31 - Agnes Weinman
He was like, if it was a bunch of dudes, we would just be like, you know, feeling bad that we forgot like one of the guys at the bar the night before, but not that bad because he found his way back. He's an adult. And I was like, no, no, but this is all good.
This is all good. And he's just like, whatever you say, honey, you do, you go do your thing.

00:08:53 - Maelisa Hall
He's like, yeah, definitely go do that somewhere else.

00:08:56 - Amber Hawley
I think we just eliminated any men ever wanting to GSD with us.

00:09:02 - Agnes Weinman
That's awesome. Well, but if they did come, you could just take them out to the bar and leave them there.

00:09:07 - Amber Hawley
I'm cool with that. They missed the entire thing. That would be good. Awesome. Is there anything else that kind of stands out for you as a benefit of the GSD week or any unexpected things that come up for you?

00:09:22 - Agnes Weinman
Again, I think it's just such a powerful experience. It's hard to actually put into words.

00:09:29 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah.

00:09:29 - Agnes Weinman
You know, because I think for a lot of people, it doesn't make sense to them. It's like, so you like go to these nice places and like you sit around a table with your laptops, but then you also have like wine and good food. Like they just don't really seem like, A, they either think like we're not actually working.

00:09:53 - Amber Hawley
Yes. I've gotten that.

00:09:54 - Agnes Weinman
A lot. A lot. Yes. Or- Or yeah, I think it's just such an uncommon thing that we've created and that we've built. So it is so hard to actually put it into words. So I think for listeners, try to create something like this. It doesn't have to be a full week.
Because I mean, our first year, I think we all kind of felt like, ooh, how's this going to go? So there is an element of risk because you're you know, spending time and money, energy with a group of people that it may work and it may not work with. So I think we just got super duper lucky.
The universe kind of conspired to get us all together.

00:10:33 - Amber Hawley
Yes. And I will say that might be your J side that was thinking those things. Cause I will tell you that thought did not cross my mind.

00:10:41 - Maelisa Hall
Me neither. I was like, Vegas for a week. I was just like, yeah, it's going to be awesome.

00:10:49 - Amber Hawley
But you're right. It is, sometimes it's not quantifiable and you got to go in with open expectations, I think.

00:10:56 - Agnes Weinman
Yeah. And also I think valuing what you need as an individual. So kind of like there was times where, you know, the group was still up and I was like, I needed to go to bed, especially when I'm on your time zone. You know, so being okay occasionally of like not being together all the time or maybe missing out on things.
But then there's always these opportunities to create these amazing moments and bonds with people and getting to know. And it's so interesting because I feel that you guys are these really important people in my life. And again, I'm learning more of your stories, but it's like, I'm not sure if I know exactly everyone's like, I know everyone's spouse's names by this point, but it's like kids' names and ages and like where you guys went to school.

It's like, I don't have these historical facts, but I don't need them.

00:11:51 - Amber Hawley
Yes.

00:11:52 - Agnes Weinman
You know, whereas a lot of my other relationships are based on history. You know, I could give you a rundown of their entire family tree. But I mean, today, like we're not in the same place or they don't get the whole business stuff. So it's interesting now what I value in people or what I think of close relationships.

00:12:14 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense. And it's something... I hadn't thought of, but it's very true. Yeah. And it's with people that we don't talk with like every day and or see all that much. And yet it's this very special thing.

00:12:27 - Amber Hawley
I find it so intriguing because every time we've talked, you know, so I think we've hit, what is it? Five of the ladies so far that we've interviewed. And every time they're sharing, I'm like having these like, oh, wow. Yeah. I never thought of that. You know, there's so many things where I'm like, that makes total sense, but it just didn't occur to me.
But there is this closeness without maybe all of the content of knowing that history, but still knowing kind of what's going on for each other and what are the emotional struggles that you're going through, kind of bypassing a lot of that other stuff, which I think is unique.
And it allows a depth and different kind of relationship, which I find highly valuable.

00:13:07 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, and I think that comes with having people in a similar pace and level of dedication and everything, because I think there's a lot of that historical stuff that doesn't matter, that we don't need, you know, and there's a lot of stuff we already get.

00:13:20 - Agnes Weinman
Apparently, all we need to know is each other's Myers-Briggs.

00:13:23 - Amber Hawley
Yes. Well, that's just so that we don't take anything personally. Oh, she's so Jay.

00:13:30 - Maelisa Hall
Look at that eye. I can't spend the night with anyone without knowing they're Myers-Briggs.

00:13:34 - Amber Hawley
I mean, come on. She, in fact, asked people in line at Starbucks just to know how long I can stand next to them at Starbucks. She's like, I'm going to mobile order this because I can't handle your J right now.

00:13:50 - Agnes Weinman
Honestly, I'm like the worst therapist because I always forget A, what I am and B, what they all actually mean. I always know what I and E means.

00:14:00 - Amber Hawley
Yes. Hey, I think if you got that down, you're golden.

00:14:03 - Agnes Weinman
Seriously.

00:14:04 - Amber Hawley
Hey, don't say you're about there. That's just whatever matters to you, right? There's all kinds of things people could talk about as far as therapy. And I'd be like, what?

00:14:15 - Agnes Weinman
I totally know all of your attachment styles.

00:14:19 - Anna Osborne
Good stuff.

00:14:20 - Maelisa Hall
Awesome. Well, thank you, Agnes. And yeah, We will include a link to your practice website because you have some amazing resources there too. Some great blog posts that are about to come out.

00:14:32 - Amber Hawley
Yes. That she wrote on her GSD. So if any of you out there are a worried, worried woman, worried, overwhelmed woman, then you can hit her up there and get some advice. All right. Thanks. Thanks guys. So now we have with us Anna Osborne from our GSD tribe.
Hello, Anna.

00:14:52 - Anna Osborne
Hello, ladies. So excited to be here today with all of you. This is awesome.

00:14:56 - Amber Hawley
Yes. Thanks. It's like a little reunion for Melissa and I, I gotta say.

00:15:00 - Anna Osborne
I know. And so quick after kind of our week where we all met. So we're only going through minor withdrawals. Exactly. True.

00:15:09 - Amber Hawley
Awesome. I know for me, it's taken me this couple of weeks to just feel like I'm finally back in the groove because maybe it was all that deep restoration and I said on a previous episode, it gave me Spomageddon brain. That's a great term. It took a while.
It took a while. So I'm happy to be alert and with you. And we wanted to hear from you what you think the value of doing those week-long GSDs is for your business.

00:15:37 - Anna Osborne
Yeah, absolutely. I think the biggest thing, especially what you just said, is it takes a couple of weeks to recover once you've been away from the day-to-day operations of your business to kind of get back into the flow. And that's kind of what I see as the benefit, which is the opposite side, is actually being able to take a week away and know what your day-to-day operations are.
Because we get into that grind, that day-to-day where we've got that to-do list and this is the regimented time that we kind of don't even have a moment to breathe and get that big perspective to realize, are these things even necessary? Are there systems in place that can make it easier?
And for me, having a week away from my business makes me realize that there's a lot of stuff I'm doing that really is just unnecessary kinetic motion that's not really creating any benefit to myself or my team.

00:16:21 - Maelisa Hall
Wow. That's so interesting because I actually just had that same thing happen for me last week where I was meeting with my mastermind and was asking them some questions and decided I'm going to get rid of a bunch of things. And So it's funny that you had that same revelation of like, oh yeah, stepping back, you're like, maybe I don't need some of these things that I'm paying for or doing all the time.

00:16:41 - Anna Osborne
Well, and you guys were there the one night I decided to kind of personally do that. I went on social media and started removing myself from groups and unfriending people that I'm sure are amazing, lovely individuals, but I don't know them well enough to be actually spending any sort of extra amount of time in my Facebook feed hearing about what the latest and greatest is in their life because I don't even know, I don't know your email address.
So what's up with this Facebook friendship, right? And so it was almost this decluttering also of the noise or all the distractions that social media and these marketing groups and all these sorts of things that have great value. But if I'm not able to offer them the time and attention they deserve, they're just noise.

00:17:18 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And as you say that, that's what I think about when I think about you, you're really good about the efficiency or the like you said, decluttering the noise. I think of you as somebody who's really deliberate in what she does and what she puts her energy in.
So it seems like what you're taking away really is just more pronounced about how you already live your life and how you already run your business, right? Yeah. And I appreciate that.

00:17:43 - Anna Osborne
I think that that's a very kind thing for you to say. So I appreciate it. But Years ago, I have a creative energy, I get really excited about things, and then all of a sudden too much is on my plate. And so a couple years ago, I made this decision that this is the number of hours I want away from my family, away from taking care of myself, nurturing, you know, the relationships that really kind of touch my heart.
And so if this is the set number of hours I'm going to give myself every week to do that. that anything else I want to do, it has to come out of that time. And so let's say that's 30 hours a week, right? That I'm devoted to doing that stuff. And I find some really cool project that I want to do.
It's not adding five more hours because it's a five hour week project. It's saying out of that 30 hours, you need to cut five hours away to devote this time to this new project. And so that's really how I've been trying to channel my decisions instead of looking for more hours in the day because...

Thus far I've been unsuccessful at that, is actually being able to reduce the time that I'm allotting for work and away from the home life and then divvy that up accordingly to really what I'm passionate about. And having a week away from the day-to-day allows me to just shift perspective and regroup with where I'm spending my energy.

00:18:53 - Maelisa Hall
I love that. Well, and even like the Facebook thing you did, that took a while. So sometimes all of that decluttering, like that's something you have to plan time for. And if that's one of the things you're able to do in that week, that's... a great time to do it.
But like you said, otherwise you're going to be spending an hour outside of your regular business time doing that.

00:19:11 - Anna Osborne
Yeah. And the great thing about our week together is we enjoy also catching up with each other on what we're doing personally. And so, you know, sitting in front of my computer and not hurting anybody's feelings by having my computer open while we're talking and I'm decluttering my Facebook feed is a perfectly acceptable thing.

00:19:27 - Amber Hawley
Whereas at the dinner table with my family, not so much. Right. I do still love that. Again, there's such deliberateness in the fact that that 30 hours, let's say, is the non-negotiable. It's not going to be, I'm going to borrow it from somewhere else.
It always is going to come out of that work, quote unquote, work time. I think that's so, again, that's what just stands out to me. And it seems like you took that time during that week, and I'm sure you're noticing now with your social media, that it's probably far less distracting.

00:19:57 - Anna Osborne
Yeah, and I look forward to going on. I'm going on once a day and I'm looking to see what the people that really are these rich relationships that I count on in my life, both via social media and outside, I get to see what they're up to. And my good friend has got three adorable kids in Disneyland and I got to see those pictures and I'm excited to see them because it's somebody who I really enjoy and I'm excited that her family's doing that.
So it just also makes that time in and of itself more meaningful.

00:20:20 - Amber Hawley
Nice. So are there any other things or benefits or challenges I mean, I think what you just shared was huge, actually. To me, that was a big one that I don't believe we've ever touched on. And, you know, I know just the fact that we all sit around and talk about things.
I think that comes up for all of us that we start to question, why am I doing what I'm doing in my business? Is there a way I could do it more efficiently? Is there, you know, like learning about a tool or a trick or something like that? I feel like that's the organic stuff that just happens when we're on those week-long GSDs.
But is there anything else you would like to add to, you know, what your takeaway is?

00:20:55 - Anna Osborne
I think being able to actually physically go and do it, that piece is huge. We're all managing just different stressors just to get out of our hometown or home city for a week, right? And oftentimes when you're stuck in the minutia of the day-to-day, the idea of leaving your business for a week, especially when you've got employees, especially when you've got multiple streams of income seems super overwhelming.
And so I think the other piece to add is to go and do it. Don't put it off. Don't think it's going to come at the perfect time. You know, we've got nine gals that we've got to coordinate a schedule with to try and figure out when can we all leave our lives for a week and we prioritize it.
And so just, you know, really encouraging folks to just actually do it. Don't put it off and off until it's the right time because it'll never be the right time. Things will never slow down enough for it to make sense.

00:21:42 - Amber Hawley
Awesome. And I know there is a small part of me that wonders, is she going to be so efficient? She's going to cut that week out. Yeah. No way. Are you kidding me? Not going to happen. Yes. Awesome. Well, share a little bit with our audience all about your business.

00:21:58 - Anna Osborne
Yeah. So like Amber and Melissa said, my name is Anna Osborne and I am the owner of Life Unscripted Counseling. We are a group practice in the Sacramento area that serves couples and individuals helping them thrive in their relationships.

00:22:12 - Amber Hawley
And she is amazing. I will say Anna does all kinds of fun things like workshops and retreats. So definitely go check out her stuff. And thanks for being on with us today, Anna.

00:22:21 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, thank you.

00:22:22 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. Thank you.

00:22:24 - Maelisa Hall
So now we have Catherine O'Brien, who is one of our awesome friends that's in the GSD tribe. Catherine, what's up?

00:22:33 - Catherine O'Brien
Thank you for having me. Yeah. So I'm Catherine O'Brien and I own happywithbaby.com and I work with new and expecting parents and currently am writing a book on how to keep your relationship strong once baby comes home.

00:22:47 - Maelisa Hall
Oh, is that like an issue?

00:22:54 - Catherine O'Brien
A personal experience turned into something that I realized that everybody was having. So that's how I came up with the topic for it and then teaching a workshop with my husband for almost, this is our eighth year, but we'll be have taught it for eight years in October.
And so now we're finally getting our book out, which kind of goes through the things that we've been teaching for the last eight years.

00:23:15 - Maelisa Hall
So very, very exciting.

00:23:17 - Catherine O'Brien
Yeah, I know.

00:23:18 - Maelisa Hall
One of our many soon to be published authors from our GSD tribe.

00:23:23 - Amber Hawley
Yes. And we love, I mean, I think that's the thing that's so great about our group is we have all of these different experts in the different areas of therapy, even though we're all therapists, we all come from different perspectives. And I know Catherine offers so many women all of that support in their postpartum.

00:23:41 - Catherine O'Brien
Yeah, it's really cool. I think that's one of the things I like is that we kind of all do similar things, but we overlap and do different things at the same time. And so I think that's what makes it such a nice group. One of the reasons.

00:23:53 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, even with the way like, Amber and Anna both see couples but do different things as far as work differently. And I think Anna does more workshops than Amber does right now. And so even people who are doing technically the same niche or whatever, it's a little bit different.
So it's cool that everybody can learn from one another. What else do you find is helpful? Why do you think it's valuable to go away for a week and GSD?

00:24:19 - Catherine O'Brien
Because it's a week where I'm not interrupted by my kids wanting me to feed them.

00:24:27 - Amber Hawley
Instead, you have nine adult women, right?

00:24:31 - Catherine O'Brien
But it's like the food is hopefully there for them and they could get it as they need it. And I don't necessarily have to make a meal. That's like my most dreaded thing of the day is having to like make people food.

00:24:43 - Amber Hawley
But you know. So a hotel stay would be the best thing for you.

00:24:48 - Catherine O'Brien
Like someone to come and make me all the food all the time. Like we did an all-inclusive one time as a family and it was like best vacation because the food was, if my kids were hungry, we just got them food. I didn't have to be like, you know, hear them complain about what I made or anything like that either.
So that's what I get out of the GSD. No, but some of the other stuff, I think it's just helpful to have a time to focus on these big projects, like I've been working on this book for a while. And so now I'm getting ready to send it, send it off to my editor.
And I was really able to make this time this year and really get the edits that I had done. And so it's nice to be able to do that and have consecutive days to be able to do that. And it's also nice to, to have time to relax because I feel like that doesn't happen.
If I'm doing work, then I'm doing home stuff and you know, there's not always a lot of time for downtime.

And so I really like having that week to, focus on work and downtime and know my kids are taken care of by my husband at home.

00:25:47 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I don't know, for me this year, I felt like because it was such a different structure being at the spa environment, I felt like we got to spend so much more time together and just having fun and just enjoy each other's company, which I thought was really great.
Like that one night that the three of us actually stayed up until like two in the morning watching I'm Mom So Hard videos. Yeah. Right.

00:26:11 - Catherine O'Brien
I love that. That was so fun.

00:26:12 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, no, I really like that.

00:26:14 - Catherine O'Brien
And I think like every year, I feel like there's a kind of a little bit of a different theme, you know, and it just kind of, it's not like we make it one, but it just seems to be a little bit different. And that's a lot of fun too. It's kind of, I don't know what you're getting into when you get there and then things kind of evolve to the way we need.
Like, I think we all really needed downtime and relaxation and taking care of ourselves.

00:26:36 - Maelisa Hall
Right, right. Yeah, it was crazy how this year, like the week beforehand, a bunch of us were all posting like, this has been such a crazy week or just random things had been happening for everyone. So it was really needed, I think, across the board.

00:26:50 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. Sweet. So for our listeners who are thinking like, ooh, is this something I need to do? Can you say, just give them any nuggets of why you think it's beneficial to take a whole week or... You know, anything around that that you found was helpful to you during the three times that we've done it?

00:27:08 - Catherine O'Brien
I think the benefit of having the whole week is, especially coming from, you know, being entrepreneurs and, you know, most of us are parents as well, is I feel like we need time to like decompress before we get into it. So if you only have like two or three days, you don't really get it.
Like for me, I almost need that to get into what I'm doing sometimes because I need to relax because I'm not getting enough of that. at home. So it's like, okay, finally in that week, then I can get a lot of work done or I can spend a full day doing a lot of work and then have another day where, you know, more socialization or more downtime or whatever else I need.
But it's not like that whole seven days is constant work, but like a balance of it all. I think it's a good, it gives you enough time to have that balance.

00:27:56 - Maelisa Hall
Totally. Yeah, I would agree. Awesome. Yeah. And that's why we started doing that as a regular thing, right? Like just planning our downtime or spa day in the beginning because we realized we all, aside from needing time to just catch up because most of us don't live near one another and talk all the time.
Right. But then it's also helpful to have that downtime first. And then it's like, okay, now I feel like I can dive in.

00:28:18 - Catherine O'Brien
Well, and I think that's the thing is like, even though Anna and Cammie and I all live in the same town, like I rarely see them outside of our big trips. So I really enjoy traveling with them and getting to catch up with them. And then with all of you, I feel like each year we get to know each other a little bit better.
And it's just kind of nice to have that time to socialize and hear how each other are doing. And I really liked this time how we all had that check-in that first night. And where are we? What are our goals? And, you know, how do we, how can we really support each other over that week?
And then just throughout this next year. So that's a lot of fun too.

00:28:52 - Maelisa Hall
Awesome. I love it. Well, thank you so much, Catherine.

00:28:56 - Anna Osborne
Thanks for having me guys. It was so good to chat with you.

00:28:59 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah.

00:29:00 - Anna Osborne
Yes. It was great to catch up.

00:29:01 - Maelisa Hall
We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for this very special announcement.

00:29:06 - Amber Hawley
How would you like to spend three days and nights in a luxury setting in La Jolla, California? This will be an epic version of a GSD retreat.

00:29:16 - Maelisa Hall
Join us and four other women as you work on a major project for three days totally uninterrupted and all while having access to feedback and support along the way.

00:29:27 - Amber Hawley
You don't have to worry about a thing because everything, and I mean everything, is going to be taken care of for you. All you have to do is show up and be ready to be pampered and get in the zone to get all your stuff done.

00:29:40 - Maelisa Hall
It's all happening September 20th to the 23rd, 2018. For more information, head on over to mybizbestie.com forward slash retreat.

00:29:50 - Amber Hawley
But don't delay because there's only five slots and you know people want to hang out with us. So you better head on over. Plus, we're offering a super special discount for those of you who sign up before June 15th. And now with us is the lovely Kami Stork.
Hello, Kami. Hello, Amber. And Melissa's here too.

00:30:14 - Maelisa Hall
I am. I'm in the background.

00:30:15 - Amber Hawley
Kami helps us round out the ADHD tribe within our tribe. True.

00:30:23 - Maelisa Hall
Hashtag ADHD sisters.

00:30:25 - Amber Hawley
Yes. So Kami, tell our audience a little bit about yourself.

00:30:28 - Kami Storck
So I am Cammie Stork. I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in Sacramento, California. I primarily see a lot of first responders in my practice and love working with couples. That's where I tend to keep most of my focus. Otherwise, I don't know what else you'd want to know.
What else is valid? What's important?

00:30:46 - Amber Hawley
Well, you do lots of fun things like retreats and stuff, but what's the name of your company?

00:30:51 - Kami Storck
So I'm with Soul Legacy Therapy and also have couples adventure retreats. And so those retreats are where we take couples away and kind of go a little bit more into like a wilderness type thing and an outdoor activity. So legacy is more of what people would consider like a traditional therapy practice, but really with an emphasis on kind of what legacy do we want to leave behind?
What are we looking for as far as, you know, things people come into therapy for and usually they're great in their professional lives, but they're not great in their personal lives. So kind of what deep dive do they want to take into? How are they, operating in this world and what are they looking to leave behind.

00:31:28 - Maelisa Hall
Awesome. Yeah. That's very deep, Cammie.

00:31:32 - Kami Storck
Yeah. But it's all fun.

00:31:33 - Amber Hawley
That's a little deep for one o'clock on a Friday.

00:31:41 - Kami Storck
I agree, but I say we always take the dive with a lot of humor, a lot of, you know, really kind of interesting because I just think you kind of have to like you have to take the good with the bad, right? There's a lot of stuff that is deep when you're dealing with therapy, but there's a lot of stuff too that you can kind of, you have to find that light at the end of a tunnel and find, you know, the humor and the pain and, you know, those kinds of things.
So.

00:32:03 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. I highly subscribe to that as well. So Kami, if you could share, you know, what is it that you find the most valuable part about our week long GSD retreats or what are some of the things that you've gotten out of it that maybe are unexpected and or what you value most?

00:32:19 - Kami Storck
You know, really, I think if I back up a little bit, because I think GSD kind of organically came about, right? I mean, I'm sure you guys have covered this part of it. But how we all met was at a business, you know, event. And all of a sudden, you kind of just realize like, these are my peeps.
Like I know Amber, you and I were like sister from another mister, like this is just the way that I mean, like the things that we find funny are the same. And you know, I don't know if Melissa shared this part of her, but she is my dancing sister from another mister, like love to be able to enjoy music with her.
And I think everybody kind of brought something to the table that we all were able to bond together, but all just a little bit different. And that's what I like. I personally enjoy learning from other people and really just kind, good hearted people who are just in it and happy to see others succeed.

And then in turn, you succeed even more yourself. So it's just really, it sounds so hokey. And you know, I hate hokey stuff. But it's just so cheesy. But it's like, you know, the vibe, it's just really the vibe of what it is like the vibe is just a good natured, good hearted group of women who are all there to help each other succeed.
And at the same time, also there to support when things are difficult. I know I've had a challenging year myself, and it's been nice to be able to lean into that group now, not only for business things, but for personal things. And so you realize what tight bonds are formed and that the expertise that everybody kind of brings to the table, you can also check in with and help to continue to grow your business as well.
So it's just such a beautiful pairing, I would say, between personal and professional, what the tribe has kind of created.

00:33:56 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, it's nice. And you kind of point out like a lot of us don't talk to Want another a whole lot like Amber? And I talk every day, but like, I don't talk to you or quite a few of the other people, like even once a month, right? But when we do talk, it's like, you're still people.
I know I could reach out and like you would call me back right away.

00:34:12 - Kami Storck
You know what I mean?

00:34:13 - Maelisa Hall
Like there is that level of, I don't know if it's like loyalty or, but yeah, that bond.

00:34:18 - Kami Storck
Yeah. I think it's that understanding that when, you know, we all talk, you know, let's get a little therapy here for a second. When I reach, I want to know you're there. Right. And so that's the cool part. I think that, you know, all of us have had different times and different moments where we have have reached to somebody within the group.
And to know that that person is actually there for you and shows up for you. It's just an amazing, amazing feeling. And to know that that kind of came out of a business conference and has grown to what it is, is just I feel personally very blessed to have that in my world and in my life myself.

00:34:51 - Amber Hawley
So Yeah, and I would agree. I think there's so many of us, we are so anti-cheese. And yet, this has been mentioned before during these interviews. Yet at the same time, I genuinely believe, even if we have little things where we annoy each other or, you know, because we're human, right?
Or little moments.

00:35:09 - Maelisa Hall
Except me, I don't annoy anyone.

00:35:12 - Kami Storck
That's because you're little.

00:35:18 - Amber Hawley
I know. Oh my gosh. I love that. Yeah.

00:35:25 - Kami Storck
I mean, you can keep working on it, Melissa, but no, you're right. Melissa, but you're the- fits right about under my armpit. And so I just love it because for those who know and love Melissa, literally you are such a big person, personality, everything else that goes with it.
But Size-wise, you and I walking next to each other is just sometimes comical when it comes to our night out for our night dinner. So that's why. I was like, imagine me, the 5'11 person.

00:36:04 - Maelisa Hall
I was like, I think our audience wouldn't think you're an a-hole because... And for everyone's reference, I'm 5'1". So when Amber and I are talking about conferencing together, there's a 10-inch difference there if we're both flat-footed.

00:36:18 - Amber Hawley
And I will sometimes refer to her as the little people. But, you know... But what I will say is I genuinely believe that all of us really revel in and want each other to be super successful. Like I don't feel, I don't feel there's a jealousy there, you know, annoyance, but not jealousy.

00:36:39 - Kami Storck
Let's just face it. I mean, the reality is I cannot think of another group, at least that I know personally, I mean, I'm sure you could Google it and find one online, but the reality of another group where you can put nine women in a house together for six to seven days and everybody comes out alive and with no claw marks.
So the reality is, is that it's just a group of people that, yeah, but what the beauty of the TIFFs or the beauty of the, Oh, that's not quite how I see it is that it's still from a place of love and circles back around to a Of course, you know that I care.
And of course, you know that you matter. So really, whatever does come up, I think just we continue learning more and more about each other. But it's always from that place of love and place of abundance. And so it doesn't really ever cause like a true strain like I think it could.
I mean, to say again, nine women in a house for that amount of time, not many people can say that they've had success with that year after year as we have.

So...

00:37:31 - Amber Hawley
Yes. And I feel like it just keeps getting better as far as the bond and the connection. So definitely I feel like the fact that we have done it for three years now, it's just every year it feels, yeah, the connections are deeper. And so we wouldn't be human if we didn't annoy each other because that's just life.

00:37:49 - Maelisa Hall
But yeah, but I think it really does boil down to what you said kind of in the beginning, which is like, we all genuinely want to see one another succeed. And that is a really, really amazing thing to be a part of.

00:38:00 - Amber Hawley
It is. I completely agree. Awesome. Any other important takeaways or things that you think would be valuable for our audience to know?

00:38:08 - Kami Storck
I think that it's just, I don't know, like we're going to go all hokey and wookie again, but I think it's just listening to your gut because part of what I feel like has made this group so successful is as individuals and as the unit of nine is that listening to your gut.
So when your listeners are thinking, well, how do I find this for myself? It's really finding people that aren't exact replicas of you, but that have some like-minded things that allow you to kind of push yourself and grow, but listening to your kind of gut of what is it that I'm looking for?
And do I feel like this person, then this group, and then these people, as you kind of continue expanding, all have that same kind of mentality. So it's really just kind of listening to everything around you. And I think it's vital. I think it's vital to the success of a business long term.

Honestly, I think it's personally and professionally vital to have that kind of group of people.

00:39:00 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, I agree with you. I think there's so much growth in the diversity. I mean, like you said, you want to have some like-mindedness or some shared goals or connection or what you're looking to get out of it. But definitely having a diverse group is what makes it really beneficial.

00:39:15 - Kami Storck
No, I completely agree.

00:39:16 - Maelisa Hall
Awesome. Well, thanks, Cammie.

00:39:18 - Kami Storck
Thank you.

00:39:18 - Maelisa Hall
And now we're chatting with our other friend, Lorena Duncan. Hi, Lorena.

00:39:24 - Lorena Duncan
Hey there.

00:39:25 - Maelisa Hall
So Lorena, do you want to tell us a little bit about what it is that you do other than also being a licensed therapist like the rest of us?

00:39:33 - Lorena Duncan
Sure. And GSDing with us. Absolutely. There's always GSDing happening. Yeah, I would say that therapist kind of turned more mentor and coach. I love working with women. I have a Facebook group called the Agile Women Community. And part of what we're doing there is basically supporting women who are entrepreneurs, and in particular, supporting them not so much in their business, although that's very important, but really supporting them in both the business pieces, mindset, but then the emotional pieces that come with trying to maintain their relationships at the same time they're building this business.

00:40:07 - Maelisa Hall
Lorena, what do you think are the benefits of this week of GSD that we all do together?

00:40:13 - Lorena Duncan
Well, you know, I think about the fact that we have now been together for over three years. And at this point, we've traveled and experienced this week with each other for three different times. And, you know, I go back to the very first time when we all came together, you know, nine people who basically didn't really know each other, but kind of did.
And I just think about the enormity of kind of that risk-taking, I think, that we all took on in coming together like that, that first time.

00:40:39 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, and it felt so normal, didn't it? Yeah.

00:40:41 - Lorena Duncan
I think what really amazed me was like, you know, because we're all nine different people, right? And to be able to come together and just make it all work, and there weren't like issues or difficulties or... you know, things like that, you know, like any group, there's some challenges, but you know, you work through that.
I was like, um, yeah, there's always growing pains. Yes, that is true. But you know, I mean, I think also the beautiful thing about coming together like that is that I think we work those growing pains out pretty quickly. And I think that's a real testimony to our group that we got that figured out really quickly.
And then it was like, we weren't even looking in the rear view mirror. It was like all forward on and, you know, we've just, it's gotten nothing but better. So I think that's a testimony to our group too, for sure.

00:41:30 - Amber Hawley
And I agree. And I feel like this time, I'm not sure if it's because it took so much more time to kind of restore or relax, but this time I definitely felt so much more the emotional part of the bonds that we've been developing and just this closeness and this feeling of like, I don't want this to end because it is such an amazing and rare group.
And I felt really, I felt a lot of gratitude by the end of it.

00:41:54 - Lorena Duncan
Yeah. I mean, I could take a whole episode, but what I will say is I think I came into this, this just past journey that we had with each other for the week in Canada. I'm really going through a lot of transition. There were a lot of emotional pieces that came up for me and it was such a great thing to have that time, that experience of time with the group to feel like it was safe enough for me to really, I mean, I really got real, I got real with myself, I got real with you all.
And I think that's also one of the unique things I think about our group is that we've been able to grow with each other, even though sometimes we only see each other once a year, right? Because you know, when you don't see people for a year, right? Like anything, it's like, well, how's it going to be?
I mean, are we all going to go long and still, or are we still like, you know, I am amazed. We are always just on it.

You know, we just really are. So I don't know. I guess there's a part of me that just wishes everyone could have what we have. And I know that's part of the joy that you two are trying to bring out into, you know, out into the world, especially for women entrepreneurs, you know, so I'm happy to be here and share my experience and, And the value that I got, just so you all know, when I put together these talking points, I went back to the first week that we ever met together.
And I thought, okay, what was it like for me as somebody who didn't really know these people? I kind of knew you, but not really. And what was the value that I got from that week such that I was like, oh, hell yeah, I'm doing this again. And I hope that will be helpful to your listeners.

00:43:22 - Maelisa Hall
I love that. And I think especially too, we've talked a lot about personality stuff and you are very open about the fact that you're very introverted. Yes. And you're one of the few introverts in our group.

00:43:34 - Amber Hawley
One of the two introverts in our group.

00:43:40 - Lorena Duncan
Yeah. Unfortunately, I can't get that extroversion introversion on, but I'm definitely somebody where it's like I hit that map. It's like, I love y'all. I'm peacing out. See you tomorrow.

00:43:50 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And that's good to know. You got to know yourself and it's got to be okay, which we're all totally fine with that. So share with us some of those, the takeaways that you had.

00:44:00 - Lorena Duncan
Well, I think first of all, for me, when I thought about getting away for that week, one of the things I was super excited about, and I definitely realized during my time there was just an opportunity to really focus on just my needs, whatever that was, whether I wanted to take a nap, whether I wanted to go grab a sandwich, whether I didn't want to shower, whatever.
you know, hang out in my PJs. Hey, you know, I didn't have to be on. I could just be me. Right. And that's, wow. That's a great thing to just realize like the only needs I have to take care of this whole week are just mine. And then sometimes just even in that realizing like, wow, there may be needs that I had that I didn't even know I had because I've never been in a situation to have an entire week where that's all I had to focus on.
And that there's a beauty in that too, I would say for sure.

00:44:45 - Maelisa Hall
Oh, wow. Yeah. I didn't even really think about that. I think that's a really good point. And just like, maybe we don't think about the need to not shower for two or three days.

00:44:54 - Amber Hawley
I will say in San Diego, I pushed the limits of the no showering thing. I believe I wore the same set of pajamas for two days. So, you know, but no.

00:45:06 - Lorena Duncan
You know, I think as more and more, you know, our comfort level with each other, it's like, oh yeah, I'm not checking a bag this time. I'm bringing my like, you know, two t-shirts, three pairs of underwear. And I'm going to figure it out when I get there.

00:45:23 - Maelisa Hall
I think it was, it was Anna who like over the loft, she hung her, she was like, Hey ladies, this is the stuff that I actually wore while we were here this week. And it was like this tiny little bag because we all have that experience. And it's one of those things you would never think of, but actually it's really nice to just like not have to worry at all about what you're wearing.
Totally chill out. And yeah, if you end up wearing it for hours, And days at a time, it's okay.

00:45:50 - Lorena Duncan
I remember the first post Nicole made when she came back was like, all these revelations. And one was like, yeah, next year, I'm just bringing a backpack and a carry on. That's it. I'm done. Yes. I'm not packing all this stuff for just in case, you know?

00:46:06 - Amber Hawley
And I think just for our listeners, you know, because we had talked about this before we started recording. But the fact that you and Melissa are the two people in the group that don't have kids and that you still find the value of having that time of not having to take care of anyone else or anything of just your needs.
Because I think people might make the assumption that that's how you live your life all the time, which of course is crazy, right?

00:46:31 - Lorena Duncan
But I think that's valuable. Here's what I'd say, and I get this, and I don't know if you can concur, Melissa, but No matter what, we live in a busy society. If you're an entrepreneur, you're busting butt. That's just the way it is. Melissa and I don't have the added pieces of having to take care of the needs of children.
But what that can mean is we end up being workaholics. So even though, right, you know, we have that evening time, but we're still working or we're staying up late or we're getting up, you know, really early and working on things. I mean, not that moms don't, but understand like it can be an all-consuming thing.
And so to be able to come to a week where we're basically, You can choose to work or not to work. And the only pressure you put on yourself is yourself. And I think for me, my approach to these weeks is I really try to balance taking care of myself with getting things done.
So...

I know the last time when we were in San Diego, I really didn't work a whole lot. I was so burnt out. I was like, I'm checked out, I'm burnt out. And I didn't really work a whole lot on things. And it was great to be with you all and see you working on things.
And me just kind of sometimes just like, I'm just gonna read my book over here. And you're like, cool, no problem.

00:47:39 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I think you were like, you went jogging like every day. And I mean, you were obviously like really... enjoying the time and focusing on like just enjoying what you were doing and taking care of yourself.

00:47:51 - Amber Hawley
But I think that's so valuable because I think some people, whether it's they don't have children or they're in a phase of life where that's not a factor anymore, that they still feel this pressure of like, oh, I have all this time and they wouldn't give themselves this.

00:48:06 - Lorena Duncan
Correct.

00:48:06 - Amber Hawley
So I think it's a really valuable thing to say, hey, like you said, that you can have a tendency towards workaholism. And it's still this like taking time out of your regular life and concentrating on just your needs. So I think that's hugely valuable.

00:48:22 - Lorena Duncan
I do too. And I'll tell you, I think part of that is, you know, this week, in a lot of ways, it's about giving yourself permission to be guilt free. And I mean, we should always give ourselves permission to be guilt-free. But I know for myself, if I have quote-unquote free time, it is very difficult for me to feel like it's okay for me not to be doing something that is productive.

00:48:44 - Maelisa Hall
And so even if it's like home stuff, right?

00:48:47 - Lorena Duncan
Absolutely. Totally. Oh, yes. Oh, I could go on right now. But yeah, I'm in a big state of transition. But yeah. So I think those pieces, I think for me... Also, the real value of that week was, and again, that goes back to that being such a worker bee when I'm in my own groove of, you know, at the time running my practice, running a counseling center, you know, having a home life, to be able to go away for a week and be able to work on creative projects where the time is totally uninterrupted and I can actually get into a creative flow where I'm If I need to be heads down for hours at a time, I can really get into that groove of creativity.
That's difficult to achieve when you're working, you know, whatever for us, you know, we work odd hours, but just whatever, right?

Especially as a therapist. I mean, you know, you might have three clients and expect to have an hour free. Well, I'm not going to be able to sit down and write something creatively because I know in 45 minutes, I got somebody else's coming through the door that I got to be on for.
So to be able to really just be heads down and to experience the joy of just that creative expression is awesome. It's just so great. And to know that there are multiple days where I'm going to be able to avail myself of that, wonderful. And then I'd also say the beauty of our group is having eight other people who we have their input, their wisdom, their experience.
You know, whatever you want to run by people, what do you think about this? Could you take a look at that? And the synergy of ideas, because there's so much knowledge in that one space.

It's just incredible. You know, just where else are you going to get that? Where else are you going to have the time for a week to be able to access eight other people? right there all the time. You know, it's really, it's very unique.

00:50:34 - Amber Hawley
It's very unique. It is. And I, when you said that, it made me think about there are times where I would be doing something and somebody else would start a conversation and I would just listen to it and get so much value out of it. And then be, you know, have awarenesses of things that I didn't even think were something, right?
So I love that, that vicarious learning as well.

00:50:55 - Lorena Duncan
I absolutely agree. I mean, there were conversations I remember we were having in Vegas where I thought, I've never even thought about that. Wow. Okay. And that was really cool. So, I mean, you know, even if it's not your thing, like you said, you're still growing from it because you're learning from other people just by listening in for sure.
Yeah.

00:51:17 - Maelisa Hall
Totally. I remember you and Anna both were talking about podcasting because you were both considering it at the time and it wasn't something I'd ever thought about, but then you Even looking back on it, it's like Amber and I both benefited from hearing about those things and seeing what goes into it and learning about it ahead of time because we have people who've already looked into some of that stuff, you know, so.

00:51:38 - Lorena Duncan
Yeah. I mean, I remember Agnes going like, hey, I'm just going to make a course. I mean, she knocked that thing out. And next thing I know, she's got a whole Facebook group. Next thing I know, she's got over a thousand people in that group. I was like, holy smokes.
I mean, who all could happen out of Vegas?

00:51:54 - Amber Hawley
It was impressive. Very impressive. And I think that's the other benefit. We have an impressive group, you know, I think.

00:51:59 - Lorena Duncan
Yeah. We're so amazing.

00:52:03 - Amber Hawley
Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Lorena, for coming on today.

00:52:09 - Lorena Duncan
My pleasure. I love it. I'm ready. Can we go? Can we go again?

00:52:13 - Amber Hawley
I know. I know. I was like, boy, we might need to do extended episodes. This is so fun.

00:52:19 - Lorena Duncan
It's awesome. I appreciate you two allowing me to come on and share my experience with your listeners. So I hope it's helpful to them.

00:52:26 - Amber Hawley
Oh, I think it will be. I, yeah. Again, the unique perspectives of everybody's takeaway is so nice.

00:52:32 - Lorena Duncan
I know. I can't wait to listen to this episode.

00:52:35 - Maelisa Hall
Yes. And share it with all of your friends.

00:52:39 - Amber Hawley
Share it with your support system.

00:52:43 - Lorena Duncan
All two of them. Cause I'm an introvert.

00:52:47 - Amber Hawley
You share it at home in the, from the privacy of your own home. I'm on it. Awesome.

00:52:54 - Lorena Duncan
All right. Thank you. All right. Take care.

00:52:57 - Maelisa Hall
So now we have Nicole Stoller-Peterson, our good friend and actually someone I've done some workshops with. We collab, don't we?

00:53:06 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
We do collab.

00:53:08 - Maelisa Hall
So Nicole. Yes. Welcome, Nicole. Why don't you tell us a little bit about what you do? Because you do a lot of different things.

00:53:15 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
Well, it depends on the day. So sometimes I'm a skincare consultant. Other times I do expert witness testimony for court and I do child custody evaluations. I keep busy. And then I also run therapist court prep, which is where I consult and work with therapists to help them get ready for court because a lot of therapists don't really enjoy court.
So that tends to be where I spend a lot of my time.

00:53:36 - Amber Hawley
So if you, just to reiterate, that's the kind of caliber of lady we have in our little group. Yeah. And I still feel like she actually left out her nonprofit.

00:53:47 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
I was just going to say.

00:53:48 - Amber Hawley
Oh, that too. Sorry.

00:53:50 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
And I'm also the director of a nonprofit. Yeah. So apparently I keep a little bit busy. It's kind of a joke in our group at this point. Like, oh, Nicole, she's getting another job. I know, I need to stop.

00:53:59 - Amber Hawley
I definitely feel massively lazy compared to you. I'm like, I don't want to work.

00:54:08 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
I like to keep it interesting. I definitely have learned over the years that I don't like to do just one thing. Sometimes that creates a little more havoc in my life than I need, but I definitely don't get bored, which is great.

00:54:19 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. Well, you know, you don't have a podcast yet, so I'm not even impressed.

00:54:23 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
I'm going to leave that to you girls.

00:54:25 - Maelisa Hall
And you have two kids and dogs and...

00:54:28 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
A cat and yeah, a husband. We have a husband and we have two girls and we have crazy calendars and animals everywhere right now. So it's a little bit nutty and it's soccer season. So that adds like a whole nother layer right there. It's no joke.

00:54:44 - Amber Hawley
So I feel like in many ways, it's a no brainer why you like the GSD week.

00:54:48 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
Yeah, right. I kind of don't know what to do with myself sometimes when I get there.

00:54:54 - Amber Hawley
Can you please share with us anyway, you know, what is the value that you get out of going on that week?

00:55:00 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
So that week was created out of our little book club. And as we were going through that book club and we were reading this amazing book by Denise Duffield Thomas and really looking at some of our own money stories and what it was okay to have and to not have.
It literally clicked for me back in college, how we used to cram and we used to get ready for finals. And we all used to help each other and we'd stay up late snacking and drinking, but not the good alcohol back then. We had boons. So I was like, what if we had an epic version of that?
What if it was an adult version with better alcohol and better food in a better place and not in the dorm rooms? And so in my head, it made perfect sense. And then... Like seeing it come to life was so much better than I could have imagined. And what it does is it forces you to stop and it forces you to really give yourself time to work on your business.

Because I think so many of us are busy running our businesses that we don't take the time we need to work on them. And then the work that it should be like where you take breaks and you go lay by the pool for an hour because you can do that. And then you come back in refreshed and you jump right back in and you do a different type of workday than maybe you would allow for yourself at home or at your office.
And you kind of have to be away from all of that stuff that we just listed off to be able to do that. And so that's probably my biggest piece is I know for me, I do have to be away sometimes to really dig into a project, kind of clear the noise, but I definitely need good snacks and drinks when I do it.
But it's helpful being around everybody else and seeing how motivated everyone is to work on their own thing. And sometimes their own thing is just resting because we don't do that very well either as business owners and parents and individuals.

So it's the all-around package. That's my long answer.

00:56:40 - Amber Hawley
No, I mean, I think some of the other people have shared stuff like that. And I know we've talked about it on the podcast. I think that it makes so much sense. And Yeah, sometimes it's the only way that you actually get that time is by scheduling it and just making it happen.

00:56:54 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
And if you're not scheduled for it, and even when you schedule, I've scheduled certain days like CEO days, and then they haven't happened because, you know, something happened with my practice or something happened at the nonprofit. Like, you know, today, like one of my kids got sick, I had to run over.
So things just come up and happen. And it kind of stops you in your tracks. And then it's hard to get back to where you were. And some people can some people can't, but it's hard to get back that day. And so I just took a day Friday to go to an all-day training and it really impacted everything else.
And I thought, oh my gosh, I really want that day back. And so I think... being on lockdown, if you will, for about a week is a great way because it's just enough time to really get something amazing done. I think last year I was building websites and I'm not a web developer.
I'm a freaking social worker, but I fired my web developer because they didn't do what they said they were going to do.

And it got to the point where I just had to jump in and take over. And it's not something I enjoyed, but I accomplished it because I put myself on lockdown for a few days and just decided this just has to get done. But I can't imagine having accomplished that during my regular work week, or even being at home.
Because it was from whenever I finally got up at nine or 10, and then it would go until 10 or midnight. And that's not a normal day that most people can pull off when life's happening. So some of us are up late, you know, till two or three. Others of us are in bed by 10.
But, you know, then there's the early risers, which I'm not one of, obviously. I think you girls know that. And on this last trip, I actually took naps, which I've never done. I'm not a napper, especially as an adult. I I just, I wish I could. I mean, I think about it and think, God, that'd feel amazing.
And then I can't. So I did that this time and rejuvenated and started writing my book.

And my book was, I think, almost half written just from being there and being rested. And so there's projects that can happen that normally, you know, you just can't squeeze in.

00:58:43 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. I think you have really good examples of like having tasks that require a lot of intensive effort. And if you can do those over a period of a few days and, you can make so much more progress because it's all kind of building on itself and you're staying in that zone and not having to break off to take care of all these other things.

00:59:02 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
Yeah. Multitasking is so good and so bad in so many ways. I mean, some of us do it better than others, but your brain does take time to be able to get back to that first task and whether or not you can come back full force is everybody's different. But when I'm working on an expert case, I usually have two full days where I will literally bring over contractors and we'll sit around my dining room table with like a murder board up and we just dig in and that's how it has to go because my brain can't stop after four hours and then come back the next day and do it for another four hours.
It just has to go. So I'm very much a crammer, which I'd love to be one of those people who's like, oh, I do an hour a day or I do two hours a day. And that's beautiful. I dream and aspire to grow up to be that someday, but in the real time. I just have to cram for a few days and then it's amazing what can get done.
But my brain doesn't like the toggling, especially when I'm digging into a lawsuit or I'm digging into having to build a website or whatever it is.

It's nice to have a really long chunk of time because it's amazing what you can do.

00:59:59 - Amber Hawley
You just kind of get motivated and you get it done. I think you need to let go of that fantasy of being somebody who's not a crammer because you just got to roll with it and obviously it works for you.

01:00:08 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
Thank you for that. Seriously. Yes. Thank you for that. I am writing a book for women that I hope is really an opportunity to find some of the same information I think you guys are talking about in your podcast, but that I know we've had these conversations a lot.
There's some different folks out there who've inspired us. And I think women need... some more guides, if you will, at times. Because sometimes we get so overwhelmed because there's so much and it feels like we're stuck on this island and it's very overwhelming.
And so my book will hopefully reach everyone and to let them know that they're not by themselves and that we all go through some stuff. And it looks very different for everyone. And so my hope is that you will find a little piece of yourself in that book and not feel alone and not feel overwhelmed and think, oh my gosh, this does happen to other people.

It doesn't always look like the finished product. I know that sometimes I'll see something like, wow, that's amazing. But there was so much work that went into it. And you just see the finished product and think, why can't I do that? Well, you can do that.
They do. that and they had hundreds of failures that you know nothing about that people are holding themselves up to and that's really not fair to do to yourself. And so I think the book is really an opportunity to step back and look and say, okay, you can have multiple failures and really earn your success.
There's so few overnight success stories and the ones that appear to be overnight success usually are Not, you know, there was so much work and failure that went in prior to that and failure. Sometimes some people think it's a dirty word, and I don't.
I think it's a word that says that you were willing to try something and try it, however many times. It took until you made it work for you, or you learned what didn't work, and then you fixed it and made it even better.

And so true, success has so much. Failure behind it? That that's a gift, and so that's what I want the book to really be. Because I know that was really hard for me when I started making some big changes in my life. I want other women to know that we are all out there and that we have some very successful businesses and things happening in our lives.
It it looks very different, you know, behind the door and all the work that went into it or the nights away. away from our kids or the nights away from our spouses, you know, where we take those six days and maybe we missed a soccer game or, you know, whatever it is.
So that's really what it's about. But I will let you guys know when it comes out.

01:02:21 - Maelisa Hall
Yes. And hopefully we'll be able to score an interview.

01:02:24 - Amber Hawley
I'll be so busy by then. But, you know, going back to what you said earlier, I think there's something about, I mean, I'm sure we've all done that where we've scheduled something like an intention, like this is the day I'm going to do X or or here's my CEO day, or whatever it's going to be, and then canceled it on ourselves, right?
And sometimes for very valid reasons. But there's something about booking a plane ticket and committing $1,000 in advance and saying, I'm going to show up. And there's a draw because it is a lot of fun too. I mean, this last week that we were there, it was, you know, we laughed, we cried, we had just a blast, and we got a lot of stuff done, you know, in addition to a lot of recovery and relaxation.
But there's something about having it be something that, you know, you've invested in and you've got some skin in the game.

So I think that that's really valuable. Is there any last little tidbit that you would say why you think taking this week away is such a benefit?

01:03:22 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
I think that what you said about investing in it is extremely important to acknowledge. And I think for some of us, that's really what it takes is there's something in us that says, I'm going to let things maybe find their way into this scheduled time that I had for myself.
And when you do commit to a timeframe, to a group of people, also accountability, I think maybe if there wasn't a group and I was just going by myself, I bet you that something would come up and I would say, well, wait a minute, I should probably stay home and just work on that and not take that week for myself to do my work.
I think it helps that there is a group that would say, hey, what's going on? Don't forget to take time for yourself. Don't you have projects you need to work on? That accountability is extremely helpful to me. And I think that's a big piece of it. It's the money, it's the plane ticket, but it's knowing that there will be eight women who will say, hey, Nick, what's going on?

Are you taking time for yourself? And I think that's huge. The accountability for me anytime I'm on a project is always really helpful because a lot of us do jobs or have careers which are in some way, shape, or form isolating. Not intentional, but the business portion of it is.
We might spend time with clients, we might be face-to-face with people, but that portion of running the business, we are on our own. And I think we have a tendency to kind of stick to that. And that may or may not work for some people. For me, I do better when I know that I have to be accountable in different ways, sometimes to not just myself, to a group of women who are strong individuals who are building their businesses as well, and also finding that balance between family and life and vacation.
So it's really the whole picture, but definitely I think the accountability is huge.

01:04:56 - Amber Hawley
Nice. I like that. Thanks. And Obviously, the other benefit is choosing wisely who you're sitting across from on the table. Yes.

01:05:06 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
Obviously, because Amber sat across from me this time. And Melissa actually sat far away from me, but I didn't take it personally.

01:05:14 - Maelisa Hall
I sat far away from both of you.

01:05:15 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
She did. She picked a really comfortable spot on the couch, which was so smart of her.

01:05:21 - Amber Hawley
I work better on the couch. I know, but I was like, you're such an ace. hole. That's sitting near me.

01:05:29 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
And there were times when I put my headphones on because I, you know, there's a lot of chatter going on and I was starting to get into my zone and I was like, no way I need to keep going with this. And the thing about my headphones is you can't tell that I really have them on because they're super, super small and there's no cord.
So people would start talking to me and then I would kind of like realize that there was somebody like right next to me and I'm like, oh, hey, sorry. Note to self, wear cords, which is bigger headphones. But the thing is, everyone's respectful of what everybody's trying to accomplish.
And I If somebody's in their zone, they're in their zone. If somebody wants to just go chat or go for a walk, you know, there's almost always at least one of us that's on that same page. And if somebody needs to just go be completely on their own, no one questions it.
No one's feelings are going to be hurt because everyone there has to truly hone into what they need. And we're able to do that. And I don't think a lot of us do that first. ourselves the rest of the time, unfortunately, because everything else gets so busy.

That's our time to really say, oh, I do need a nap or I do need to go work on this project or I need to put on my headphones or I need to laugh and cry and drink too much or whatever it is. But sometimes you just have to literally take that time and then be accountable for it.
Yes.

01:06:32 - Amber Hawley
Amazing. Thank you so much for being with us here today. That was awesome. And I'm sure, you know, what you talked about, a lot of people are going to relate to that about it's hard to keep, you know, keep those commitments to yourself and that there is value in getting that space as well.

01:06:49 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
Absolutely. I value that you guys have taken the time to really shine a light on this because I think there's probably a lot of folks out there who would never have even considered doing this. And, and, you know, we're all such completely different personalities and, but somehow, some way, we're all able to come together and really have this space and share it and be respectful and honor each other and what everyone's trying to get done.
And so I would encourage anyone who's listening, if you have considered it in the past, consider it again, or maybe this is the first time you're thinking about it, but this is such a great opportunity because this is really what Biz Besties is about, right?
It's really finding people that you work well with that maybe lift you when you're having a hard time lifting yourself and that you bring value to as well. And so in your career, whatever that is, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or in that as a career, absolutely, just unpaid, unfortunately, or you are running five businesses and a crazy person like some people we know.

But it's a great opportunity to find your tribe and to really take some time to do some amazing things. So I'm glad that you guys are offering this and that making it available because I don't know that everybody knows that this can happen and you can do it for yourself.

01:07:55 - Maelisa Hall
You absolutely can. You can make it happen. Like we all did.

01:07:58 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
I'm a believer.

01:07:59 - Maelisa Hall
All right. Sweet. If you want to learn about Nicole's five different things she has going on, we'll see if we can link to all of them. I don't know how much space we have on our page, Nicole.

01:08:10 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
I don't even know if Google will allow that many characters. Okay. Okay. Listen, ladies. So here's the lesson of today that you have to have people that you can laugh with. That's for sure. And people that crap apparently, but I have to say that at the young age of 43 that I am, I have learned, I have learned a few things and I'm so happy that if even a slice of that shared is helpful to anyone who is feeling like they can't try something new or something different.
I hope they will consider that because it's amazing what's on the other side of that fear because it's just a little bit of fear and fear and courage are the same thing, same moment, same time. So don't be scared. Just do it anyway.

01:08:49 - Maelisa Hall
I love it. Do it anyway.

01:08:52 - Nicol Stolar-Peterson
Do it scared.

01:08:53 - Maelisa Hall
All right. Hopefully you liked hearing all of their takeaways. We really enjoyed it. It was actually awesome because we don't all talk to one another necessarily like the week after our retreat or anything. So it was great to hear what everyone had to say.
And if you are interested after hearing all of this in attending your own GSD retreat where you can hang out with other awesome businesswomen and get a ton of stuff done, then you we have a retreat coming up. So we would love for you to join us on our BizBestie GSD retreat.
I know, we're so excited. This is going to be at the end of September in San Diego. So if you want to find out more, go to mybizbestie.com forward slash retreat and you will get all of the juicy details right there.

01:09:41 - Amber Hawley
Yes. And you get to have this amazing experience with two experienced GSD years, which were pretty epic. That's right.

01:09:52 - Maelisa Hall
And our goal, like our role on that retreat is just to support you. So whether that's, you know, making sure that food is ready to go. because that's important, or fixing you some coffee because you need that done, or if that is giving you some feedback on something that you're creating, proofreading something that you put together or brainstorming.
We are so excited to show up and be that support for every woman who's going to be on this retreat.

01:10:20 - Amber Hawley
Yes. You just show up and we are going to be the best biz besties ever. That's right. Take care of all of your needs. It'll be amazing.

01:10:28 - Maelisa Hall
Yes. So check it out, mybizbestie.com slash retreat if you are interested in going. And of course, make sure that you are subscribed to the podcast so that you can get all of our goodness that's coming. We're almost done with season two. So sad, but you want to make sure in case any surprises pop up, you're subscribed so you can be the first to know.