Unleash Your Inner Strength: Mindful Hypnosis with Dr. Liz Slonena

[00:00:00] Amber Hawley:

Business owners are increasingly being pulled in so many directions, feeling like they aren't reaching their full potential in business and life despite their Type A ways. With my background as a therapist, entrepreneur, and as a dot com dropout with ADHD, I interview and coach high achieving business owners like you who want to stop struggling for success By using psychological systems strategies and the occasional care confrontation, this is the easily distracted entrepreneur, your place to slay, overwhelm, perfectionism, and shiny object syndrome so that you can get done what matters most to you.

[00:00:39] Amber Hawley:

Hello, hello, focus seekers. I have a great episode for you today. I'm very excited because we're going to talk about things that I love, like getting shit done and, uh, using alt egos, which, you know, it's, you got to make life fun, right? And it actually can work. to help you get things done. Uh, so I'm very excited to delve into the interview with Dr.

[00:01:07] Amber Hawley: Liz Salonena, who is an ADHD psychologist and speaker, and she is the co creator of Brief Mindful Hypnosis, a science backed way to rapidly overcome stress and help you feel more calm, creative, and confident in just seven days. So we are going to have an amazing conversation. I can't wait for you to jump into that, but First I wanted to give a shout out.

[00:01:31] Amber Hawley: I've been meaning to do this for a long time to my number one fan that is a good friend of my daughter's So what's up, ben this shout out is a long time coming, but it is to you my og Uh, superfan, so I do appreciate you. Alright, well, and I also wanted to mention, because this episode is going to be all about getting shit done, that next Friday, May 3rd, I am hosting a free workshop.

[00:02:03] Amber Hawley: It is the actual workshop I do with my incubator clients, where we look at our schedule. and really create the perfect work week. So we create a schedule that you actually want to keep, and we know us ADHDers do not like to keep schedules, but it really is the foundational piece of getting shit done.

[00:02:22] Amber Hawley: You've got to figure out when and how you're going to be approaching your work, and then the next piece is figuring out what you're actually going to work on, so you're working on the right things. But for that particular workshop, we're going to be focusing on the when and the how. So I hope you will join us.

[00:02:39] Amber Hawley: You can head on over to amberholly. com forward slash schedule and register for free and join us next Friday, May 3rd. third. I hope to see you there. Welcome, Liz. Welcome to the podcast. Great to be here, Amber. Yes, I'm very excited to have you here because, um, well, there's quite a few things that we've been talking about that I, that I think are going to be super helpful for people.

[00:03:10] Amber Hawley: But today we're going to be diving into mindful hypnosis. And my favorite topic because I apparently feel very fixated on this all ego thing because I think it's epic. Among other stuff, there's going to be lots of good stuff, but that's, that's what we'll be talking about today. We're going to help you get shit done in a very different way than perhaps you've ever imagined.

[00:03:34] Amber Hawley: It's ever been suggested for you. 

[00:03:37] Amber Hawley: That's right. Yeah. And with mindful hypnosis, it is the closest thing to scientific magic there is. So what it is, is the combination of mindfulness and hypnosis together, where essentially we are synthesizing and amplifying the powers of both meditation and hypnosis. So one way of thinking about it is if Mindfulness is the medicine, then hypnosis is the pill capsule that delivers the mindfulness skills in a more easier, digestible, and faster way to get shit done, relax, focus, do your notes, or doing admin tasky things that you freaking hate doing.

[00:04:21] Amber Hawley: Which is, 

[00:04:22] Amber Hawley: which 

[00:04:22] Dr. Liz Slonena: sounds wonderful, 

[00:04:23] Amber Hawley: right? Like, I would like to be in a hypnotic state when having to do all the shit that I don't want to do. 

[00:04:30] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yes. And With Mindful hypnosis, unfortunately, there comes a lot of myths and misconceptions. Um, I know we've kind of talked about this before, but for folks listening, it's just kind of curious about what's the first thing that goes to your mind when you hear hypnosis?

[00:04:46] Dr. Liz Slonena: And I want to start with you, Amber. What's the first thing that comes to your mind? When you When you hear hypnosis. 

[00:04:51] Amber Hawley: Hmm. Well, I'm, I was like, I'm probably, I'm going to do that ADHD thing where you asked me a question, my brain went to a specific place that's probably not relevant or what most people are thinking of because I actually took hypnosis classes in my grad school program.

[00:05:07] Amber Hawley: So I keep, I go back to, there's a few things that come up. One is The, that like, I know the miracle of what can happen when people will come in and share their stories of like being able to stop bleeding through hypnosis, like things that you think like that you can impact your body so much. And then also I have this very strong memory of, I just, I don't like being put on the spot and I remember my professor, like, Going through the line of people and like, you know, hypnotizing them and then they did things and when he came to me, I was like, no, like, I'm not going to fucking do that.

[00:05:46] Amber Hawley: And so I mean, I didn't say that it just didn't work. And so I'm like, Oh my God, you just made me have to make you look bad. So I know it's powerful and works. And I also know like you have to be really in the right spot. space to do it. That's my, that's my thing. There 

[00:06:03] Dr. Liz Slonena: we go. Yeah. And I love, well first I love that you were actually taught that in graduate school because it's so rare.

[00:06:10] Dr. Liz Slonena: So with this, the myths and misconceptions, kind of like what you're alluding to, is You can't do anything without your permission, like, so, you, I can't make you cluck like a chicken, or quack like a duck, or bark like a dog, unless you actually want to, or your unconscious wants to, or you are in for the ride.

[00:06:31] Dr. Liz Slonena: And clinical hypnosis and hypnotherapy is very different than stage hypnotists, and yeah, those, those worlds collide a lot, and something that's really helpful to think about is. All hypnosis is self hypnosis. So with that, you get into this state of trance and to be honest, we go in and out of the state of trance so often, especially if you are neurodivergent, highly creative, have a world filled of imaginary fantasy things or you can just imagine things really well.

[00:07:09] Dr. Liz Slonena: This is kind of a component of hypnosis and hypnotic ability. And yes, there is such thing as hypnotizability. So some folks are higher, can easily be hypnotized, and others, no matter what you do, you can't. Um, but most people kind of fall in the middle of the road like a bell curve. Um, but it is this channeling of this natural ability to step into your power, to get shit done, to step into that alter ego, um, free from fear.

[00:07:44] Dr. Liz Slonena: to in a way make magic happen or you showing up at your very best. 

[00:07:50] Amber Hawley: I love that. I also love that term, uh, scientific magic. So I was like, that literally I feel describes what I subscribe to. I guess I say that. Like, I always say I'm woo. I'm not woo woo. I'm just singularly woo because I'm based in science.

[00:08:09] Amber Hawley: Yes. Like, literally, you just basically gave me a new terminology for it. 

[00:08:14] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yes. And I agree with that. I'm, I'm woo, not woo woo. Um, but this is the craziest thing to think about is that hypnosis is honestly one of the first forms of talk therapy. And this goes back, you know, I don't even know how many years, centuries, where it originated from ancient Egyptian priestesses and priests, where they would go into these dream temples.

[00:08:43] Dr. Liz Slonena: And the suggestion would be, you're going to relax in this wonderful oasis and sanctuary, and you will have a dream that will cure your illness or ailment or problem. And it is amazing when you ask a question, your unconscious naturally answers. And so yes, in that way, uh, Freud was trained as a hypnotherapist, but, uh, there's some interesting history with that where he frankly was not very good at it.

[00:09:13] Dr. Liz Slonena: And he decided, you know what, I'm just going to have people stare off into the distance face away from me and free associate, which is actually is. A form of getting at that unconscious processing where a lot of our creativity or power, um, just flows from. 

[00:09:32] Amber Hawley: Yeah. I love that. I know. And it is interesting, right?

[00:09:35] Amber Hawley: Because I like the idea of thinking about it as, you know, like self hypnosis because, you know, I'm talking about that class now. I, we had, we had like five or six teachers in that class because, you know, we had to break out and do stuff. And what I was, I think it was the performance part of what he was asking me to do that made me so super self conscious and then I wasn't able to do it because also I didn't want to, but exactly.

[00:10:03] Amber Hawley: But when another teacher had done, um, or, and I've had this too, cause I have like major back problems, like bilaterally bulging discs. When he, when the other guy. did his thing. I literally, I was, I actually was thinking about the spa. I can't remember all of the details of what he was getting us to do, but I could all of a sudden smell my spa, the spa that I normally go to.

[00:10:27] Amber Hawley: The smell was so real. Like I literally could smell the spa and it was probably something about deep relaxation, right? Because that's like my happy place. And so like, I, there are those times where I feel very connected to it. Um, I'm not great about holding visuals in my mind, I realize, which I know like a lot of people, there are people that aren't and there are people that are, but even with my back stuff, when I've had people come and do like Reiki or kind of energy work, I can literally feel it.

[00:10:57] Amber Hawley: And to me, it seems like, like that, It was kind of like a hypnosis thing because he was telling me like imagine this ball of light and I'm literally doing that and it healed my back like, I mean, not structurally, but pain wise it was gone, right? And so I know it can be so, so powerful. In fact, I even, uh, when I first started practicing as a therapist, I did, um, uh, like, I forget if it was called mindfulness phase, but it was like for people who had gone through traumatic births.

[00:11:28] Amber Hawley: So I would do hypnosis to help them recover because they were planning on getting pregnant again, or, or they were pregnant and having to go through birth again. So, um, I just think it's super powerful. And like you're saying, I think there's, I think a lot of people don't really get the power of it, or they might've had that performative experience and then are like, no, that doesn't work for me.

[00:11:49] Dr. Liz Slonena: Right, and it's unfortunate of first time experiences can really, you know, first impressions make a huge difference. And, um, for folks out there that are curious or hypno curious, I encourage you to try again or get someone who is actually certified that actually knows their shit. Because, yeah, there's a lot of people that don't know their shit.

[00:12:11] Dr. Liz Slonena: Frankly, anyone can do an online program and say they are a certified hypnotist. Yeah. Don't trust those people. But it truly is fascinating and having a live experience too of, I have a lot of chronic illness and invisible illness, um, on top of ADHD. I have chronic pain, being hit by a car, I recently went through surgery to address stage three endometriosis, and through all these things in my life, I've used mindful hypnosis to help heal.

[00:12:44] Dr. Liz Slonena: And honestly, I don't think I would be able to do the things that I do day in and day out, um, without mindful hypnosis, because it is such a powerful tool to, especially for pain management. So amazing. Um, yes, it does actually increase healing when it comes to blood loss, expedites growth of bones and incisions, but we can get really creative too, um, where it's almost like a having your own little medicine cabinet inside yourself of do it's kind of like, do I want an upper?

[00:13:18] Dr. Liz Slonena: Do I want a downer? Do I want to relax? Do I want to get energized? And there is such thing as active alert hypnosis. where your eyes are wide open, you feel more energized, and it's specifically geared towards performance enhancement, whether it's mostly in sports, um, but also performance enhancement when it comes to meeting with clients, or doing a show, or speaking, or doing a podcast.

[00:13:47] Dr. Liz Slonena: And I use mindful self hypnosis essentially whenever I do things, either before meeting with clients. I did it before, you know, doing this podcast and it really allows me to kind of let the shit settle and using the power of suggestion, the power of your own voice, it's really powerful of if you want to think about it this way.

[00:14:13] Dr. Liz Slonena: Scientific prose, or really being able to embody what you want to make happen. So a little bit more scientific than affirmations and manifestation. 

[00:14:24] Amber Hawley: Okay, wonderful. So it does involve actually speaking out loud to yourself. 

[00:14:30] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yes and no. So this is where we can get really creative and customize where some folks really like to say things out loud, um, or hum or sway or use gestures to anchor in.

[00:14:45] Dr. Liz Slonena: Hand over heart is really powerful. Uh, bilateral stimulation is really powerful. Or for folks like myself, I like to, Okay. Okay. Keep it inward, where I don't say anything out loud, uh, I just kind of speak with an internal dialogue, um, but it's kind of weird to say, uh, out loud of my hypnotic voice.

[00:15:07] Dr. Liz Slonena: Internally and externally sounds very different than my casual voice, if that makes sense. 

[00:15:12] Amber Hawley: Mm hmm. Okay. 

[00:15:14] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yeah, like your therapist voice I'm sure is very different than, I don't know your Karen voice or getting shit done voice. I was like, well, I'm not quite sure about 

[00:15:25] Amber Hawley: that because sometimes, sometimes my therapy voice is very much my Amber voice and so it just depends.

[00:15:32] Amber Hawley: No, I do get it. I get it. Yeah. Sometimes it can be a lot softer and kinder than, than the average Amber, but, um, yeah, as you were talking about that. When you said like gestures and makes me think about I've I've known a lot of people who do this and I know we had talked about this before that there was a there was a scene in Ted Lasso one of my favorite shows ever where Rebecca does this and it's that power pose and I'm sure people have heard it before from other people but I know like very successful entrepreneur who would do that before every major meeting she had especially if it was You know, like people who like funding or different, like a high stakes meeting and she would do the power pose and it really does shift things.

[00:16:19] Amber Hawley: And weirdly, I just last night, I was listening to something and, uh, Andrew Huberman was on it and he talked about that, that actually you can all, you can change your, your hormone levels just by doing that power post. Yeah. So, increase testosterone, decrease cortisol, and, and all from the power pose, which I know I'm kind of doing sitting here and nobody can see it, but you can, you will, you can look it up.

[00:16:48] Amber Hawley: But, uh, you know, standing there with your hands on your hips and you're just like, you know, standing straight, chest up, taking up space. I know, uh, Rebecca did it and she does kind of like a hissing thing. Oh, I forgot. You 

[00:17:04] Dr. Liz Slonena: were exploding. I forgot that on 

[00:17:10] Amber Hawley: zoom when you hold your hand, like if you do thumbs up for too long, then it does the fireworks.

[00:17:15] Amber Hawley: So that is hilarious that I did it. But she did like the hissing thing, you know, like, like she's being fierce, like she's getting into her. So is that, like, are there other things or is it, is it that, like, gesture wise, are there other ways or to do that? 

[00:17:33] Dr. Liz Slonena: Oh, yes. And this is the beauty of hypnosis, especially mindful hypnosis.

[00:17:39] Dr. Liz Slonena: You can get really creative and coming from like a meditation and mindfulness perspective, hand mudras of meditation poses with your hands, whether it's like doing the okay or thumb to middle finger, thumb to index finger. There's some fascinating research that indicates that yes, meditating mudras do enhance, uh, Meditation depth, as well as, uh, benefits and benefits.

[00:18:06] Dr. Liz Slonena: all this crazy awesome stuff. Um, but with that creativity, uh, the possibilities are endless. So if there is like a pose you do where, I've heard it's like the super one pose of like hands on hips, chest out. There's also, my personal favorite is hand over heart where Placing a hand over your heart and that pressure does release oxytocin to really create a sense of connection, peace, well being, and feel good.

[00:18:38] Dr. Liz Slonena: Another kind of induction, uh, so induction is basically a way of inducing trance. And this will be done at the retreat where you essentially like clap your hands and rub them together to create heat and friction to warm up and energize the body. Um, that can help. Be really energizing, like, okay, I got to get these notes done.

[00:19:00] Dr. Liz Slonena: Let's do it as quickly as possible. And some other cool things are, um, if you're familiar with sound baths or singing bowls, um, of course you can't really see this, but I always have a singing bowl right here. You can really go through rapid inductions through Certain sounds, um, whether it is just dinging it, like a meditation bell, or even creating like a power phrase for yourself, um, whether you pick your power word.

[00:19:28] Dr. Liz Slonena: And I do this with clients sometimes of what is a word that really resonates with you that allows all the shit to fade into the background and allows you to step into your power. And these kind of, um, rituals for wellness and power. The more you practice, the stronger and stronger they become, like anything that you do.

[00:19:49] Dr. Liz Slonena: Um, so it really is individualized and I always like to play around and have fun with it. Uh, because sometimes we take ourselves way too seriously and we get too caught up in our head when the creative energy and the unconscious, it loves to have fun. It loves to be creative and yes, a little bit weird and goofy.

[00:20:11] Dr. Liz Slonena: So kind of letting go of that fear and again, stepping into your power. 

[00:20:16] Amber Hawley: Oh, I love that. I love, you know, as you were talking about it, I'm like, yeah, definitely that hand on the heart thing where I could, I remember now that I forgot the oxytocin part, but I was like, I definitely, that's, it is a very centering thing for me too.

[00:20:30] Amber Hawley: When, If I feel like if I'm feeling anxious, it really calms me and I every time we do co working at the end of co working because I lead it a couple times a week in my program. We do a 448 breathing exercise and I'm always and I always say because I've done a lot of meditation stuff throughout my experience and now you may reminded me that I've also done straight hypnosis like I went to somebody for some stuff and it was I get really physically impacted like Intensely, but I always have people like, I always encourage them to like lay their hands open and I always knew it was like openness, but I wasn't thinking about that it actually has a physical response on the body.

[00:21:13] Amber Hawley: Oh yes. 

[00:21:14] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yeah. That was more symbolic. It is. And this is, I mean, clinical hypnosis is the embodiment of mind body medicine. Of the, and there's some fascinating research on there, um, called idiomotor signaling or literally like pendulum swinging, where your unconscious really speaks through the body through micro movements, whether it's like a little flick here, flick there, or even it's like unconscious facial expressions sometimes too.

[00:21:47] Dr. Liz Slonena: So it's really interesting to lean into those things to, in a way, like. Talk to your unconscious and your unconscious to talk to you. So basically saying like the pendulum swinging, are you kind of like asking a question? Yes, no, maybe to access inner wisdom truly does have some scientific research behind it really helping you, uh, answer some really tough questions in life.

[00:22:12] Amber Hawley: Oh, gosh, like, okay, so is that part of the same, my mind is just gone. I keep remembering now things I've done or experiences I've had, and I wasn't thinking of it as hypnosis, but you know how they suggest for people like if they're on sales calls or something that they look in a mirror and smile. Or if they're with clients or something, it doesn't necessarily, not when, not when they're on video, right?

[00:22:34] Amber Hawley: This is pre video. Is that the same thing? Because it's that facial expression, it's getting them, it's about improving their mood, right? 

[00:22:44] Dr. Liz Slonena: Right. Yes. And so this kind of leans into NLP or neuro linguistic programming, which I have some strong feelings because it basically is bastardized hypnosis wrapped up and.

[00:23:00] Dr. Liz Slonena: Um, but with that, I'm glad that you brought that up, mirroring, like mirror neurons come to mind. It's hard to frown when I'm smiling at you. And with that, it's kind of like mirroring your client to be on the same, like literal same wavelength. Okay. And, um, It's really hard to describe, but maybe you've experienced this or the folks who are in the healing professions do, of just being so on the same page with a client that you can even kind of see what they are seeing.

[00:23:37] Dr. Liz Slonena: With guided imagery or know exactly what they're going to say before you say it. So that inner connectivity or almost like connected to the unconscious, both of you, um, truly is a thing. And a lot of the masters of clinical hypnosis really, uh, suggest like you go into a trance first to bring your client in with you.

[00:24:00] Dr. Liz Slonena: Um, because it is like literally. You are on a different wavelength when you are like EEG wavelengths when you are in a deep meditative or hypnotic trance versus your normal everyday waking self or anxious self. So it helps kind of bridge that gap and be on the same page to really make magic happen.

[00:24:23] Amber Hawley: Okay, now you just reminded me of, I also just heard, because when you're talking about the wavelengths, when we're thinking about the, you know, theta, delta, all the different, yes, like states of being, and what's, is it, is it delta the one, or is it theta? That's the, um, meditation. I mean, I know, delta, delta.

[00:24:42] Amber Hawley: Okay. Yeah. Like I thought it was delta, but I wasn't sure. Yeah. People were saying what can help you, like as an induction, is listening to 40 hertz. Uh, like sounds or music or whatever. Yeah. The binaural beats. Yes. To get you activated into that flow state of getting work done, right? 

[00:25:02] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yes. And I will say as a researcher, there is some preliminary research that binaural beats and certain frequency and Hertz can help get you kind of like almost downshift you from being anxious over thinking to creative and flowing.

[00:25:18] Dr. Liz Slonena: Um, but quite frankly, there just needs to be more research involved with it. And I will say that I'm just like, okay, if there's any kind of preliminary research, go ahead and run with it. If you like how it sounds, uh, I use it all the time, um, in my meditation and mindful hypnosis tracks, uh, just for an added benefit.

[00:25:37] Dr. Liz Slonena: And most people like listening to some kind of music, um, in the background, especially neuro spicy people, uh, just so that. You are more in the zone, and it can really help you, I mean, get that stimulation that you may appropriately need, um, and just continue to flow and stay in that state. I like that. 

[00:26:00] Amber Hawley: And yeah, it's one of those things of like, well, what's the harm?

[00:26:03] Amber Hawley: You're not paying for something, you're not, like, it's not gonna hurt you, but. We know like smell and sound like they're so they're so powerful in the brain and like you're saying as neuro spicy people. So I'm curious, what are, what are the ways in which mindful hypnosis can help people with ADHD or autistic ADHD, you know, neuro spicy people in there?

[00:26:25] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yeah. So with mindful hypnosis, uh, it makes meditation and mindfulness. easier to get into. And, uh, for example, a lot of folks, especially neuro spicy individuals, sometimes write off meditation as being too boring, or I can't sit still, or my brain is just a bunch of bees. How could anyone just stay and sit and watch your thoughts?

[00:26:51] Dr. Liz Slonena: And this is like an opportunity with hypnosis, you can. Drop real into a deep, relaxed state with the help of metaphors and guided imagery. And for a lot of neuro spicy folks, their minds and we often think more so in pictures than in words and like felt sense. So those can be kind of the, we can leverage those to go deeper within a state of trance to then experience meditation, to then kind of like after the waterfall thoughts.

[00:27:24] Dr. Liz Slonena: Actually, you don't even go through the waterfall. You are floating in that beautiful lagoon, and then you're like, that's an interesting thought. That looks like a cloud. Oh, that thought's not me. I'm more than just my thoughts. And it allows a deeper, a kind of felt sense of what's going on. deep relaxation and deep meditation can be like in a faster fashion.

[00:27:46] Dr. Liz Slonena: And I'm a little bit biased as the creator that it is more creative. It is more fun. It is more of an inward adventure and journey that you are going on. And some folks even say like, Oh my gosh, I don't think I've ever been that deep in meditation before. This mindful hypnosis stuff is really good. And. I really encourage folks to try it out and see because I'm not forcing you to sit still either.

[00:28:15] Dr. Liz Slonena: If you want to sway back and forth or you want to, you know, be the rabbit and jump your leg all the time, you can do that and you can still do that with mindful hypnosis. 

[00:28:26] Amber Hawley: Yeah, I guess when you're talking, it makes me think it's like removing that resistance that I feel so much of our, you know, ADHD brains are like, or at least maybe I'm speaking of mind work.

[00:28:39] Amber Hawley: It's constantly like, you know overthinking or or like you said, there's I say it's puppies, like I have a litter of puppies in my brain and they're all the thoughts are kind of swirling all the time. And so, like, yeah, if we're like, oh, that's gonna be boring, all that won't work, or I would fixate on something like the fly in the room.

[00:28:58] Amber Hawley: And so like meditation, even though I really try, it's like, it can be very hard for me. So it's a way of removing some of those resistances, right? Yeah, that's beautiful. 

[00:29:08] Dr. Liz Slonena: Beautiful. And another. science backed approach that may be appealing to folks is that for neurodivergent brains, especially with ADHDers, I'm waiting for my colleague to release his great publication paper where essentially ADHDers in particular have a higher rate of inter conscious connectivity.

[00:29:35] Dr. Liz Slonena: What I mean by that is, They are able to access their unconscious more readily, uh, than neurotypical folks because our brains are wired a little bit different, and our frontal lobes are not exactly the dominant presence. That's why we have a lot of thoughts. However, that's why we have a lot of divergent thoughts and a lot of creativity.

[00:29:57] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yes. So if we can use. Hypnosis and mindful hypnosis to like hone in and focus on a creative thought rather than getting distracted. Uh, this is where the power really lies, where you can become focused or another way of doing this is, um, being able to create wonderful business ideas or get clarity of a nagging, uh, situation or maybe a choice point or decision where your prefrontal cortex or your, you overthinking, anxious, conscious, doesn't have to worry about that.

[00:30:32] Dr. Liz Slonena: And your unconscious can really lead you to the answers that are more beneficial and for your higher, wiser good. 

[00:30:41] Amber Hawley: I love that. Because I mean, this is, you know, both of us work with a lot of ADHD people or neuros. I say, I'm going to keep saying neurodivergent, neurospicy, because, like, again, I have a spectrum of clients.

[00:30:53] Amber Hawley: But, but it's, you know, That's one of the biggest complaints. It's like, we know we have these superpowers, these strengths, this creativity, this, you know, ability to make connections, like pattern recognition type of stuff, right? But when people come to me, they're, they're like, okay, well, the thing is, yes, I can figure out things and I can get really creative.

[00:31:14] Amber Hawley: But it's like I'm at the whim of my brain. It's, it's that like negotiation. So it's like, oh, will, will it, it's like waking up, will, will it work today? Will my brain be showing up and be on board? Or is my brain going to be like, no, you can't have that. So it's almost like a way of developing more consistency in like, Your brain listening to you.

[00:31:37] Amber Hawley: I don't know if that makes sense. Yeah. It does 

[00:31:39] Dr. Liz Slonena: for my brain. I hope for others too. Yes. And it is being able to focus attention, which that is one of the defining features of hypnosis and flow is focusing attention to the present moment. And again, with mindful hypnosis, it allows kind of like a fast pass to focus attention or deep relaxation for flow for creativity.

[00:32:05] Dr. Liz Slonena: And it's almost as if just you can turn down the volume of the static or the distractions. So you can really get into that state of flow, get the shit done that may be hard for you to do like admin tasks or notes, but also leveraging that creativity of whether it's Writing new copy or developing a new idea or marketing strategies, um, that for myself in particular and what I teach my clients to do is use mindful self hypnosis before you do something creative, um, so that you can really get in that focus state where the distractions, whether internal or external, no longer bother you.

[00:32:47] Dr. Liz Slonena: And I will say when I use mindful hypnosis for flow, I do my best work. And the times that I'm like, I don't have time for that. I don't do that great of a job because I get distracted. 

[00:32:59] Amber Hawley: Right, right. And I love having like other tools in our arsenal, right? Because this is, you know, helping people get shit done is what I do.

[00:33:09] Amber Hawley: And so I know there are like, there are physical things in our environment, we need to do physical things for our body. And, and then there's like kind of, uh, organizational things that, you know, for me, it's like understanding your own bio rhythms, also like having real clarity. I say extreme clarity and ruthless prioritization is a part of it, but like you're saying, there's this other component, I think, of that part where.

[00:33:38] Amber Hawley: You can set the stage and but it's but sometimes people it will still take them a long time to get into that place of like, okay, now I I mentally or, you know, focus wise feel ready to get in that. And so I love the idea of having something that kind of activates that quicker or ensures it more consistently right.

[00:34:00] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yes, yes. And some fun things can be happened during flow or mindful hypnosis to activate flow. And that is, uh, kind of developing an alter ego. And I know that we've kind of talked about this in person, but it's, it's really fun to, uh, fantasize or just imagine. What would your hero do like, what kind of person, whether it's real or fictional, them at their very best, whether it's like you want to channel Oprah of being charismatic and giving and just eloquent speaker, um, to, I've had clients have amazing and fascinating people of like anime or video game characters because they're strong, like.

[00:34:48] Dr. Liz Slonena: Wonder Woman comes to mind or some other kind of characters there that you can like step into that power and it was kind of mirror them, whether it's like, okay, uh, you know, what would Oprah do? Or what would Ted Lasso do in this situation? And it's a really fun exercise, much like cosplaying of, it gives you like this extra oomph or protection to do some things that you naturally would not be comfortable with.

[00:35:19] Dr. Liz Slonena: If you put on a costume or like a mental or egoic costume, oh wow, there's less fear of risk of, uh, you know, things going poorly and because you kind of like let your conscious monkey mind just take a step back, that's where you can just show up and shine better. 

[00:35:38] Amber Hawley: Absolutely. And that's how we even decided to have this interview because we were talking about our alt egos, and I was sharing that I have one, her name is Svetlana, and I know, and I know you have one too, so that would, that's how we got into this, but what I find is, It's like the, my Svetlana is this kind of like fierce, unapologetic, bold person, still very kind and loving, but it's, but there's like no overthinking, no people pleasing, like you can be kind without people pleasing, right?

[00:36:17] Amber Hawley: all of that neurotic, like, fear or worry of rejection or what will people think, like, goes out the window when I'm in that space because it does feel like you're putting on, you know, you're like putting on this other person's armor and you get to be that part of you that I think so many of us need to have come out, right?

[00:36:39] Amber Hawley: Especially I think for a lot of women who we've just been conditioned to play so small. And so it's like that, you know, another way of bypassing. I've done a lot of therapy for this stuff. I'm pretty aware, but it's a way of bypassing that stuff that kind of lingers and keeps you stuck, keeps you from doing the thing that you know you need to do, right?

[00:37:02] Amber Hawley: Like it's showing up the way you want to and I think about this as you know, I've, if you've listened to the podcast before, like I talk a lot about I struggle with like solo episodes. Now there's a couple of reasons for that, but that's when my perfectionism starts to come up because when I can have a conversation and talk all day, cause it's totally great, easy peasy.

[00:37:22] Amber Hawley: But when I feel like I'm talking to myself, I'm then in my head. And then I think. Like, oh, well, I've got to cover this and this and this and I get kind of in that obsessive space. So it's not fun for me. Like, it's not enjoyable. But if I were to approach it as Svetlana, I would be like, well, I'm having fun because I am here to have fun.

[00:37:39] Amber Hawley: And I'm bold and I'm amazing and like, I don't expect perfection, right? 

[00:37:45] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yeah. And that just made me think like, oh, man. What would your solo episodes as Svetlana be like? 

[00:37:53] Amber Hawley: Well, my Svetlana actually does have a Russian accent, but I would not do that because I think that people would be very offended, even though I'm pretty sure I've got some kind of like Slavic Russian roots at some part.

[00:38:06] Amber Hawley: But yeah, maybe I should do that as an experiment. And you know, the trick is always telling yourself like, it's okay, I don't have to use it. Exactly. Let's do it. Let's experiment and I don't have to use it. And, uh, yeah, I know. So I've had other instances where I've kind of called upon those characters for their strength or like, um, I talked about having this pool back in California the last time we talked and, uh, I have a, I had a pool in my backyard, but it was unheated and I don't like the cold.

[00:38:35] Amber Hawley: So I would always never, I just didn't want to do it. So I would go like, what would Sydney Bristow do? Who's like this character from Alias that I love and she's a badass and she's a spy. And I would literally like run a half circle and then jump straight in because like Sydney Bristow would not ease into shit.

[00:38:50] Amber Hawley: Like she would just jump straight in. So I did. Um, but what is, I want you to share your alt ego and kind of how that works for you. 

[00:38:58] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yes. So. My alt ego is pretty nerdy. I'm a huge anime and video game fan, so this character is named Camilla from the Fire Emblem series, so she is a straight up badass, but a very kind of compassionate, sweet, um, almost like femdom kind of vibes where she rides a dragon and she's bearing this giant axe and she has armor and of course it's like sexually clad but she's just so sweet and get shit done but she's not afraid to just use that axe and chop your head off.

[00:39:35] Dr. Liz Slonena: So I use this alter ego a lot when appearing on social media which yeah. Sometimes there's haters and just like really ignorant bigoted votes. I'm like, all right, what would Camilla do? All right, kill them with kindness and a quick chop to the head. 

[00:39:53] Amber Hawley: Which is actually, I met you via social on Instagram and it just so crazy that you happen to be local in addition, you know, I'm sure there's algorithm in that, but, but what drew me to you was the fact that I did feel that, that very like, confidence.

[00:40:12] Amber Hawley: There was that sexy, dumb energy, but also fun and goofy. There was this like balance, but I actually admired how you put yourself out on social because that's the other place where for me it shows up is talking is one thing, but it's the visual where I start to again, get back into the perfectionism and, and also the RSD, right?

[00:40:32] Amber Hawley: Like the fear of rejection or, you know, having, you know, Having shitty people say shitty things, even though we know they don't matter, especially social media trolls, but it doesn't feel good. And so that was part of what I loved about, you know, when I would watch your stories. And I think especially, you know, not that Like all kinds of business owners listen to this podcast, but there are of course a lot of therapists being that I'm a therapist and I love especially when I see therapists who I know are like clinically on their game, like badasses, they're professional and yet they're real people like they still are.

[00:41:11] Amber Hawley: Funny and inappropriate in, in like the good way. Sexy and, and out there and bold and they're not vanilla. Like it's so refreshing because I wouldn't want to go to a vanilla therapist personally. 

[00:41:25] Dr. Liz Slonena: Same here. And you know, I, I'm hoping that this is kind of like the zeitgeist of, okay, You can be a professional and you can be a real human and to be honest, I really struggled for a long time of being like even showing my face on social media or my YouTube channel because I was afraid of the patriarchy and I was afraid specifically, um, I came from a really hyper academia background where none of this was okay.

[00:41:56] Dr. Liz Slonena: Like, oh, you should never be yourself. You should never crack a joke. You should never curse in session. And that kind of formed into hello, imposter syndrome. Hello, hyper masking and being this fake persona professionalism when no, that's not me at all. And it is very pleasantly surprising and This happens for me personally and for my clients, too, of realizing, okay, when you actually step forward and are authentic and raw and yes, vulnerable, you attract the people that you want to be with, that you want to work with, that you want supporting you and like defending you from haters and trolls.

[00:42:39] Dr. Liz Slonena: Like when you step forward with authenticity, other authentic people come forward. 

[00:42:45] Amber Hawley: Right. Thank you. It also gives people permission to show their, well, I'm going to say like, their, their like quirky weird side, their, their sexy fun side, their whatever, like, well, I guess you're just saying the authenticity, but I, but even like naming it that sometimes people worry like, oh, people are going to think I'm too much or I'm going to, or, you know, too much, not enough, whatever.

[00:43:08] Amber Hawley: It's that whole dichotomy. And it's that fear of that they're going to take this one little data point and then decide that I'm not, like, I'm not good at my job or I'm not professional or there's something wrong with me and, you know, kind of throw it out. I think it, it is validating when that happens.

[00:43:27] Amber Hawley: And yet it's still so fucking scary to think about that. And it doesn't feel good because that's that rejection sensitive dysphoria thing. Because I will have those moments where. You know, like, I'm a very confident person in my circles because I know they're my people because I'm pretty good about that.

[00:43:46] Amber Hawley: And especially, you know, thinking about people in my inner circle or my incubator, they've clearly chosen to work with me, right? And there are times where, you know, you have those sessions like group coaching sessions because the energy of the group and I love it and I can tell like, I feel a little like, like a little energizer bunny.

[00:44:03] Amber Hawley: And I, and I think if it didn't feel like a safe environment, that's when I'm like, Oh, shit, that was a lot. Like, if somebody just met me, that would be a lot, and you worry about that, right? So again, it's like, you're still always doing that, you know, kind of tempering ourselves. I don't know. I feel like I've gone off on a tangent here that I had no intention of going off on, but yeah.

[00:44:26] Amber Hawley: But it makes me think about it because like when I, I, I am acutely, because my mind went to, and this is what the brain does, right? Went to when a new person, a new member came in and her very first session was group coaching and her first experience of me and I remember going like, I almost felt like I needed to follow up with her, you know?

[00:44:48] Amber Hawley: And it's like, you know, sometimes people get it and then they're with you and then sometimes they're like, yeah, no, this isn't for me, which is okay, but it still feels crappy, right? 

[00:44:57] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yes. Yes, and I really resonate with the RSD and even the anticipatory RSD of like, oh, I can't put my face on there. I can't make a social media post because of the fear of what people will say to you.

[00:45:13] Dr. Liz Slonena: And of course, I think both of us are in this place of power and privilege of. Fine, whatever, haters gonna hate, I know I have my people, but for folks like first starting or building up the confidence to post on there, that is very intimidating. And it's one of those things, too, of, again, using that alter ego to put it on there.

[00:45:36] Dr. Liz Slonena: Like, there's a separation or like a distance or armor. Um, and, you know, worst case scenario, you can delete it if you really don't like it. I mean, I know there's dirty deleting, but anyway, it's your channel. It's your profile. You can do whatever the fuck you want. But it gets to this next stage of, I guess, presence or community where You do want to attract your people and repel that people are not going to well, work well with you.

[00:46:04] Dr. Liz Slonena: And that took me a lot to understand, um, and really feel confident in of if I disappoint people or if people don't like my stuff, I'm at a place now that it's like, great, cool. I wouldn't want to work with you anyway, if you are being judgmental, if you are just hating on me because of what I sound like, or if I curse, or what have you, we're not going to have a good time together, so there are other, you know, coaches and consultants and therapists out there.

[00:46:33] Dr. Liz Slonena: I'm just not the one for you. Yes, 

[00:46:36] Amber Hawley: a bless and release kind of thing. Well, it's true. Like, that's and that's why I always appreciate when people come back to that concept of like, my people, not my people, right? And especially in business and remembering, like, if we're putting stuff out there, but one, the, the alt ego is a way of giving us that confidence and support and kind of helping us do that more authentically in a way that feels emotionally safe.

[00:47:04] Amber Hawley: So we're not just like raw exposed, but it's also one of those things we need to hear over and over because I do think you, you get it on a different level, like you're saying. Every time you have an experience or as we continue to go on in business or in life, you know, we, it, it like solidifies just a little bit more and more.

[00:47:24] Amber Hawley: And, you know, I just had this instance come up where I was, I got a new computer, so I was cleaning stuff out and doing all this organization. And I found this old blooper reel, which, by the way, I thought I had lost. Like, I thought I never downloaded it. But it was, uh, from, uh, probably almost the beginning.

[00:47:41] Amber Hawley: No, it wasn't. It was, uh, probably from like 2000. Oh, it was 20, 2011 because I was pregnant with my son. And it was, yeah, so it wasn't at the beginning, but core ish. So, uh, I did this, I did my very first video and I was super self conscious and just like, it was, I was eight months pregnant. So it was 2012.

[00:48:01] Amber Hawley: And then, I was so nervous about it and all this other stuff. But then I did post the blooper reel one time to my Facebook and my friends were like, Oh my God, you should put that out there publicly. Like, I would love that. I would absolutely hire you as my therapist. And this is when I was only doing therapy and I had a group practice and I was like, Oh, that's funny.

[00:48:20] Amber Hawley: And then I'm like, Yeah, no, like I would never do that, right? Um, and even though I had clients that would tell me, they're like, as soon as you said the word fuck, I knew you were my therapist, you know? Like, I was like, I'm not going to do it, but it was still fun. It was fun, and then I took it down. Okay, I recently found it and put it out there.

[00:48:40] Amber Hawley: And with like, at this point now, I do think I'm like, that's hysterical. And I love it. And that's fucking me. And so it was this just this great thing. Like, that was such a epitome of the growth that has come. And yet, Like you're saying, so we do have the privilege, you know, in many different ways of, but also that like, we're already established and successful and have these things going, so it can feel like, oh, well, of course, it's easy for you kind of thing, but it's like, well, no, I still have my edge.

[00:49:12] Amber Hawley: I still have to grow in that. And I do appreciate how far I've come. Like we all make that progress. 

[00:49:19] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yeah, and I'm so glad that you saved that and like unearthed it and felt courageous enough to post that because time and time again, research and live experience. People love raw, authentic bloopers. Yes, show off your flaws and the weird shit that happens.

[00:49:38] Dr. Liz Slonena: I'm almost thinking about releasing some of my meditations from the vault where If I messed up, I was like, fuck, or just like something that's totally not meditative and zen. I was like, oh, fuck this shit again. Um, I would love that meditation. Yes, it's in the works. Um, but it's something really cool to save rather than completely delete or erase your old post.

[00:50:07] Dr. Liz Slonena: So you know how far you've gone. And everyone, us included, and you listening, we've all started at zero. We've all started being maybe timid or scared to put our first post on there, um, to get our first like. So we all have to start somewhere, but it's just so cool to hold on to those remnants, um, or like a scrapbook of things and then come back to it and be like, damn!

[00:50:35] Dr. Liz Slonena: That was cringe, but 

[00:50:37] Amber Hawley: look how far I've come. Well, in my blooper reel, literally, it was almost me saying fuck over and over and over and over and over because, and I'm like, that's really what it was because I, you know, true ADHD fashion, didn't have anything written out because God forbid I like practice ahead of time or whatever.

[00:50:55] Amber Hawley: But. But yeah, it's, uh, yeah, it was, it was just so real, I was like, oh my god, like, I, somebody had said, um, something, it was a compliment, but she, to that post, was like, oh, um, that was adorable, you would be like the best actress, I said, oh, that could have never happened like that if I wasn't genuinely what was in my head, I don't think I could ever act that well ever.

[00:51:24] Amber Hawley: But that's what I like about the alt ego stuff because when you're in it, I literally it doesn't feel like acting. It's not like putting on, it is putting on a character, but it's embodying the character. Like that to me, it's like, it feels like you're in that moment. At that real level, like on a cellular level, which sounds so crazy, but that's how it feels to me when I'm in that Svetlana zone, like, literally those, I'm not pretending I don't have those thoughts, they are not occurring to me, right?

[00:51:55] Amber Hawley: So maybe that's what you're talking about, about that, like, It quiets the brain or it stops, those thoughts aren't even, you are on the lounge in the reflective pool or whatever. That's 

[00:52:07] Dr. Liz Slonena: right, yeah. And it gets really beautifully at that point of flow, which with flow, it's just like that right amount of flow.

[00:52:18] Dr. Liz Slonena: Appropriate stress or eustress and appropriate about a challenge that you don't think about anything else. You are just in the zone or you just allow the voice to flow easily and effortlessly better than having something scripted. And I think it really gets to this point of not only flow, but the safety and permission to play because playing you need safety.

[00:52:44] Dr. Liz Slonena: And with playing, creativity runs wild. You are just improvising. You're, I mean, there's been fascinating research studies of rappers. They put them in an fMRI and see what the fuck is going on in their brain when they are freestyling. Their prefrontal cortex or the monkey mind hushes up. And it's all this unconscious processing of making associations and rhymes without like, like consciously being aware of it.

[00:53:12] Amber Hawley: It's fascinating. That is fascinating. It also gives me a little hope because I have like premenopausal brain. So creativity can still happen even without my prefrontal cortex. That's right. That's right. Well, um, You know, I'm hoping people find this as fascinating as we find it but, there is a reason why we invited you to be our flow facilitator at our get shit done retreats because we really do want to set the stage like, like everything, the environment, the structure, the planning, the you know, But having that extra little thing, that extra oomph to get you into that state of flow and making sure you maximize it.

[00:53:54] Amber Hawley: So if you're at all interested in attending the GSD retreat, the Get Shit Done retreat that's happening in May in Asheville, you will get to experience the magic. The scientific magic of it all firsthand, um, but it is coming up on us and the price is going up. So I encourage you to head on over to amberholly.

[00:54:14] Amber Hawley: com forward slash retreat. The link will be in all the show notes, um, so that you can experience the magic in real life. That's right. Awesome. Well, that was my little version of a, of an ad there. But um, let's see, I just wanted to make sure we hit, I think we've touched on so much, which I think is helpful.

[00:54:35] Amber Hawley: And um, like I'm hoping that people. will kind of experiment like you've given a lot of different options of ways to kind of get us unstuck or get us into a different mindset to be ready to get into that flow focused and creativity place. Um, if people want to find out, well, when people want, to connect with you and find out more.

[00:55:01] Amber Hawley: Where should they go? 

[00:55:03] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yeah, so signing up for my newsletter would be the best place. So you get all the updates and when you sign up for the newsletter, you get a bunch of free goodies. That is the meditations from our research that indicates. Brief Mindful Hypnosis significantly reduces stress and increases mindfulness in just seven days.

[00:55:22] Dr. Liz Slonena: I know it sounds really pitchy, but seriously, we have evidence that supports this, as well as other kind of goodies to really focus your mind and get shit done. And I'm also fairly active on Instagram. I post a lot of memes, um, for NeuroSpicy folks. Particular. And I do have a Facebook group called How to Thrive with ADHD.

[00:55:46] Dr. Liz Slonena: And we give a lot of different various tips and tricks and just community support. Because hey, being a business owner is hard, but having a neuro spicy brain is hard too. So I'm here to help support you. I 

[00:55:58] Amber Hawley: love that. I love it. Yes, definitely. That's where I found you. It was on Instagram. That's where we connected.

[00:56:06] Amber Hawley: Definitely we, we'll list all of those places in the show notes because, uh, I personally am like, oh yeah, I gotta download that. I want the seven days to reducing stress because Hello . So yes, thank you so much for coming on and sharing this and, um, and being a part of the Get Shit Done Retreat. 

[00:56:26] Dr. Liz Slonena: Yeah. I'm honored to be here and so excited for the Get Shit Done retreat.

[00:56:30] Dr. Liz Slonena: I know, I know. Thank 

[00:56:31] Amber Hawley: you. Yay.