The Blessings of Introversion and Extroversion

00:00:24 - Amber Hawley
Hello, hello. Welcome to season one of the My Biz Bestie podcast. I'm Amber Hawley.

00:00:28 - Maelisa Hall
And I'm Melissa Hall.

00:00:30 - Amber Hawley
And today we're going to be talking about the blessings of introversion and extroversion. I am super excited to talk about this. It's one of my favorite topics.
Absolutely. I mean, yes, you love to geek out on all things personality types. And I say you, but I really mean us. But the introversion-extroversion debate is a huge one, and I think an often misunderstood one.

00:00:58 - Maelisa Hall
Yes. So hopefully we will debunk some myths and highlight what are the positives on each side. Absolutely. And it's important, I think, you know, we're not just talking about this because we're really interested in it. I mean, that's part of it, but...
But it's really important to relationships. And if you're going to have a biz bestie or have other people around you, I think understanding introversion and extroversion is one of the easiest things once you catch some of the highlights to understand why people do things the way they do.

00:01:35 - Amber Hawley
Yes. And not only is it going to help you with your biz bestie, but all of your relationships. And I think often... Sometimes I think that people think the grass is greener on the other side sometimes. I don't know. Maybe that's because in our profession, typically, and I say typically because obviously there are exceptions, many, but typically therapists tend to be introverts.
And so I always felt like I was like the black sheep because... that's not how I roll. So I was like, Oh, this is weird. Yeah. So I always felt like introversion was like the thing, the best thing ever. And this is a funny little side note, but one of my, one of my interns that, that works for me, he is hilarious.

He is an introvert, but he told me, well, you know, introverts are actually smarter than than extroverts. And he's like, it's a proven fact.

00:02:40 - Maelisa Hall
Which it is not. Exactly. But I do feel like it's so funny because I feel like that is one of the misconceptions, right? Or like the messages that we hear is that introverts are like these deep thinkers. And when you hear that, it's sort of understood that then the other side is not, right?
Exactly.

00:03:03 - Amber Hawley
It's a de facto, de facto. Yeah.

00:03:05 - Maelisa Hall
And then I do get like the other on the flip side with extroversion. I do understand that most of our society and the things that we do really is built around extroversion. And I think it's easier in a lot of ways for extroverts to do certain things in society.
So, you know, there's like upsides and downsides to both.

00:03:29 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I I said like our exception with our profession. And yet at the same time, I do acknowledge that most of the world seems to relish and support that extroversion is a positive thing. Like that's the better thing. And I think what we're trying to say today is we really want to get away from the idea of making value judgments that one is better or worse.
And despite that Google article that tells you the five things that an introvert is... is amazing about that. They're more intelligent. Like we need to let that go. We need to, we need to realize that it's all about how we're showing up in the world in different ways.
And yeah. And so that's what today's episode is going to be about the blessings for both sides without having to put down the other.

00:04:23 - Maelisa Hall
Right. And I think, you know, the first important thing to talk about is the fact that it's not either, or it's a spectrum, right? So you might be really extroverted, or you might be kind of extroverted, kind of in the middle. There are people that are straight up in the middle, and so they have a little bit of both.
And you'll see people on all points of the spectrum.

00:04:51 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, that's a great point. And yeah, there are the extremes, of course, but then there's a lot of us. And wouldn't you say that even though extroversion, introversion, we're talking about kind of a personality trait. So it's pretty, this is pretty stable.
Yes. But there are still things that can influence that and change that a little bit, like certain things that we can go through in life. But let's, I guess, maybe define it a little bit more. Because what you were saying, I think there is a lot of misconception with you know, what is introversion?
What is extroversion? I see it a lot in my practice.

00:05:31 - Maelisa Hall
Yes, yes. So the big thing with introversion and extroversion is that it's about how you get your energy, right? And like how you recoup. And it's not necessarily about being social in any capacity. It's just about how are you energized by social interactions?

00:05:54 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. And, you know, I see, I mean, I work a lot with couples, but I also see individual people as well. And this is one of those things where we tell ourselves a story because this is what we've been told or what we believe to be true. And then that story reinforces things for us.
I will see people that say, you know, I'm... I'm an introvert or they kind of don't want to identify with the introvert thing because they're like, I have friends and I go out. And I said, well, introversion has nothing to do with sociability. You can be very social.
You can be a very engaging person. But it's about after you spend a lot of time with a lot of people or a big group or even, you know, just a few people, you need to recharge by being alone.

Right.

00:06:45 - Maelisa Hall
Right. Yeah. And on the flip side, if you are an extrovert, then you actually need people to feel energized. So if you are just sitting by yourself in a cubicle or in an office all day, you might actually leave work feeling drained.

00:07:02 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I guess as you were saying that, what made me think of... I think about, well, this is our mission, right? So many entrepreneurs are just working so hard on their business that they don't come up for air. And so they're like, just by themselves a lot.
And if you're an extrovert, that's not gonna bode well for you. You're not gonna have that energy and you're gonna feel really depleted and drained because you're not getting enough of the social time. And at the same time, it also made me think about new moms, especially moms that choose to stay at home or don't go right back into the workforce.
That is a really tough time because if you're alone a lot and you don't have that support network, you don't get that adult time that you absolutely need. And it's not about that you don't love your children or that you don't get energized by them, you know, but it's very different when you're an extrovert and that need is really there.

I see it with introverted moms as well, but obviously the need is higher. And that's the thing to be aware of. Like if you're If you're an extrovert, you're going to need more time with other people in a social setting. And if you're an introvert, you're going to need more of that downtime alone to yourself.
And really the only person who can gauge what's the right amount of time is you.

00:08:27 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, yeah. And the fact that it's a spectrum is that you really want to understand kind of where you are on that spectrum so that you are... capitalizing on your strengths, right? Because they can both be a strength. It just depends on the setting and how you're living your life in order to maximize it.
So like for us, I think we recently talked about how, you know, you and I had specifically talked about going to these conferences and how, hey, we're extroverts and We like being with people. We like interacting with people, being live. So instead of signing up for all of these online courses or doing things online, we should actually focus on going to as many events as we can.

00:09:13 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, because we're going to learn more. We're going to be more engaged and we're actually going to finish it because that's our wheelhouse. That's our comfort zone. The other thing is... when we're at the events, we're like, go, go, go. And we're, and it's feeling great and we're so into it.
But then, you know, as we had said before, we're ENFPs, which are the, the more introverted extroverts. So we don't like a lot of small talk and, you know, we want it to feel meaningful. And I know, and I'm not sure if, I feel like some of this adjusted and I'm sure part of it is our profession and the kind of stuff that we deal with.
the level of trauma and stuff. And then having children, I definitely feel like I need that alone quiet time. So I'm not somebody who's like, go, go, go all the time.

I need that space afterwards. Like when we went to podcast movement in August, it was amazing. And it was like four days of amazingness, go, go, go the whole time. Very little sleep, which was fine. But then I needed some downtime to just kind of be quiet and be And that was good that I gave myself that because then I felt like I could follow up and do like some of that follow up stuff we talked about, about reaching back out to people.
So that, you know, I didn't rush right back into it and just go right back to work and go, go, go. Cause then, you know, I didn't, I wouldn't be allowing myself what I'm needing.

00:10:47 - Maelisa Hall
Right. Right. But honestly, I could do stuff like that every week and be cool. And, you know, not logistically because that would just be expensive and kind of complicated to actually spend time with my husband. Yeah. But I know like for an introvert, like you might be able to kind of gear yourself up and go to these events.
But for introverts who do this successfully, I hear them talk about taking a lot more time out during the conference time. to go and regroup and hang out in their room or do something relaxing and then maybe spending more time afterwards as well. And maybe you only go to a couple of those a year because that's more your style.
So it's just about how you're maximizing that.

00:11:38 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, and I think this comes down to self-care. So it's one, it's having the awareness of who you are and not judging yourself for that. There is no right or wrong. It's just, it's what you need. And then giving yourself that, right? So, yeah, we did talk to quite a few people.
I think, you know, we met quite a few people who would identify themselves as introverts. And I remember on one day, there was this long break between the last workshop and then the party that night. And we actually went to another meetup, networking thing for the...
for a course that we're a part of that we haven't mentioned, but I swear we're, we, I, like I said, we're joiners, but we actually went to another meetup and that filled the whole time in between that break. And when we came back and then everybody else that we talked to who identified as introverts, they all said, Oh yeah, I went to my room and I took a nap or I watched TV or, you know, I just kind of chilled out.

They all went and took that personal space, which I thought was really smart of them because that's the way introverts you know, they gave to themselves so that they could show up and come to the party and feel not feel depleted and overwhelmed by that.

00:12:50 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, exactly. Whereas for you and me, it was not a big deal to go to that and then go to the party afterwards. And then talk with people after the party.

00:12:59 - Amber Hawley
Also, yeah, we kept saying, Okay, we need to go to bed now. And then like two hours passed. Okay, we should really go to bed now. Because we had that early morning breakfast. So that we were joining too. Yeah, we added a lot of extra fun events and that was great.
And the interesting thing, as you said that, the other thing is, even if you're an extrovert, you also have to acknowledge what's going on for you in your life at the moment and kind of the season you're in. Because both Melissa and I are ENFPs and we're both extroverted.
And I think when we took the test on 16personalities.com, which we're going to talk more about next week, Um, we both, I think we were around the same extroversion level. It was very, it wasn't exactly the same, but it was similar. I think I'm actually a little high.

I'm pretty extreme.

00:13:48 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah.

00:13:48 - Amber Hawley
Extreme ENFP. Yeah. You were a little higher, but it wasn't that far off. Maybe it was pretty close. Yeah. It was pretty close. Maybe it was like eight points higher or something, but, um, maybe 10, but I know that like right now having three young kids, um, And I, you know, with my work, I'm seeing a lot of clients and I have staff that I manage.
And, you know, I do have a lot of things going on in my life that I'm getting a lot. I have a ton of people like drawing on me all the time, energy wise, like I'm with people all the time. So I think I've noticed lately, I feel the need to have more downtime.
Yeah. Like I need that time alone, that quiet time. I don't want too much, but I do feel like I need it.

Or I need to be with just adults and have that time where I'm not responsible for anybody. I guess that's the other thing. Because it's not just being with adults, right? Because when I'm with my staff or with clients, that's different because they need me.
But if I am with my friends, then it's like very relaxing because... I don't need to be in charge of anything.

00:15:06 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. Yeah. And I think it does adjust. And like we were saying how it's a spectrum, I think there's kind of a range where you might kind of go back and forth within this certain range. And you can think of it sort of like height. I'm 5'1". I'm pretty short.
And so I was born with a specific range of height. And then your environment kind of influences these different things. But I was never going to be a six foot tall person. right? So same thing with these personality traits. I mean, these are definitely things that are inherent.
And they might adjust a little bit based on how you grew up or how you were raised or experiences you've had. But if you're on like the extreme end of either one, it's highly unlikely you're going to go from one extreme to the other.

00:16:00 - Amber Hawley
Yes.

00:16:01 - Maelisa Hall
But you might move within this range, right? And so if you're kind of more in the middle, then you might see that a little bit more where you identify with both parts of it.

00:16:09 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And yeah, so being aware, like, again, this is a non-judgment thing. Like there's, it's kind of who you are. And so, you know, you ride that horse in the direction it's already going. As one of my supervisors used to say, I love that saying, but you just acknowledge that's who you are.
And so then you make that work for you. And it's, again, not right or wrong. And the benefits of giving yourself that time is that you'll feel more energized and engaged and, you know, you'll feel better. It's just self-care, really. You have to do that for yourself.
And so not overscheduling yourself and... making sure that you give yourself whatever you need. So whether that's, if you're somebody who's been doing a lot of business trips and you're an extrovert, and then you get invited out to go to the movies or to drinks with friends or something like that, you might feel like if you have children at home or your husband at home, and you might feel guilty like, oh, but I've been gone a lot.

But again, it's a different... type of engagement. So allowing yourself that social time with friends where there isn't, you don't have to be on or, you know, working or giving back or anything like that. You're just showing up and enjoying people's company.
That's, I think, a really important thing. And the converse goes, if you've been doing a lot of events, it's okay to say no. There's so many demands on our time. So if you're more on the introverted side and you know, coming up with a structure that supports that for you.
You know, for some of the people that I've worked with, they've come to the conclusion like, okay, I'm only going to do one activity a weekend because that way I'm not overloading myself. And there might be a couple of exceptions here or there, you know, and it might depend on what that activity looks like, but they're not going to go force themselves to do like a huge party and some kind of networking thing and, you brunch with their friends or whatever.

It just might feel like too much.

00:18:18 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. I think that's such a valuable point because that's where a lot of conflict happens in relationships. Like you were saying at the beginning about not having a judgment around it. So this is something to consider with your biz bestie or with your significant other or even your kids maybe that Maybe someone else doesn't want to go with you to some event and you really want to go to the event, but they're an introvert and you're an extrovert.
And so sometimes you'll have to make those concessions if you are different. I think one benefit of us both being extroverts is that we were able to, like I said, talk about... going to more events together and how that works really well for us. And if we were introverts, maybe what we would have done instead is say, Hey, you know what, instead of going to all these events, let's go, you know, run a house once a quarter and, and hang out and do stuff that way.

Um, so it's about, I think, you know, If you have people who are really important in your life and you see some of those conflicts, maybe this is one of those reasons and deciding where can you make those concessions and then where do you need to seek out that, if you're an extrovert especially, seek out that support from other systems.
And if you're an introvert, where do you need to say no more often?

00:19:39 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. Yeah. And I've seen that. I've seen that with people where one person in friendships where somebody is an extrovert and then they're friends with an introvert and they can feel the extrovert can often feel rejected because they want to go to something and they feel like their friend is always saying no.
And they need to understand like, where is that, where that's coming from. And it's not about, it's not about, Oh, I don't value your relationship or I'm not that into you or something like that. But it's really about, I've got to protect my boundaries over, um, you know, how much time I go out.
Because I can't tell you how many times I have somebody sitting in my office saying, like, you know, this was a really, you know, important thing. I don't understand why they're not coming. But they see every event as important and fun and, you know, whatnot.
And they just have a lot of them.

And so that might feel overwhelming to the introvert. And at the same time, I've also heard about introverts who feel left behind. And they feel like, you know, that person is just go, go, go. And they, you know, have a hard time with that, especially if they're the kind of person who doesn't like to speak up and say, like, hey, you know, I want to go to that thing with you, too.
You know, so those kinds of things, I think it can definitely make people feel the rejection, even if that's not what's actually going on.

00:21:03 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, I think that's a really good point. What do you think are some highlights or like positive benefits of both introversion and extroversion? Maybe we could do introversion first.

00:21:15 - Amber Hawley
Sure. Yeah. And I think, you know, I want to be careful not to go into some of the stereotypes. Like I don't want to just make an assumption because like we said, being an introvert doesn't mean you're not social. I know plenty of very social introverts.
They just prefer smaller groups, more one-on-one stuff, you know, I have a lot of wonderful friends, like dear friends who are introverts, and they really thrive in the one-on-one. My husband is a hardcore introvert.

00:21:43 - Maelisa Hall
We're total opposites. But nobody would ever guess that he's an introvert because he is so social and engaging and funny. And he enjoys it, but he enjoys it in small doses.

00:21:55 - Amber Hawley
Yes, exactly. And that's the point, right? And that's the mistake I think a lot of people make. One of the bigger blessings that I've seen... with a lot of the introverts, either I'm friends with or that I work with is they are very thoughtful in regards to their relationships.
I feel like they really put effort in to have a depth in the relationship. And I think because they are not seeking out, you know, lots and lots of people, they are because it's their comfort zone is to have that, you know, really solid inner circle.
And like everybody does. But I think especially for people who identify as introverts, they are really thoughtful about following up and remembering things and checking in. I think that that's a huge value.

00:22:46 - Maelisa Hall
It's like we talked about, I think in episode two, one of our favorite biz coaches, she taught us that, you know, introverts are actually really good at networking because of what you're talking about. They're good at focusing on a smaller group of people that they can follow up with.

00:23:06 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. I feel like sometimes we see, again, this isn't about being social or not social. But I find a lot of the introverts that I know tend to be very, like they're more observational kind of people where they kind of sit back and they observe. But they really thrive in the smaller group and one-on-one settings.

00:23:29 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, yeah. Or speaking. A lot of introverts are actually really good speakers. Because if you think about something like speaking, although you're in front of a crowd, you're not necessarily... hanging out with people. And something like that is a lot of preparation time.
And so writing, a lot of those things work so well for someone who's introverted because they can thrive on spending that preparation time.

00:23:57 - Amber Hawley
Right, right. Yeah. And so, you know, I think there's hopefully at least people take away that just because you're an introvert doesn't mean you're social. You're not social, right? There are definitely people who have social anxiety. I have those as clients as well, people who are working on their social anxiety or they're working on that feeling of being able to reach out to somebody, whether that be in networking or you know, whatever.
Uh, whereas I hear people say, you know, I don't want to be a burden on people or I don't want to bother them. What if they don't want to, that's a little different than being introvert extrovert. Cause I know extroverts that sometimes we'll say stuff like that, depending on where they are in the spectrum.
Sometimes extreme extroverts aren't really thinking about that. They're just enjoying life and having fun.

Yeah. But that's where sometimes you can see the introvert get caught up in their head and be thinking about those kinds of things because they are observing and paying attention. And that can, for some people, that can lead to that anxiety zone that actually keeps them from connecting with people or makes it a little more difficult.

00:25:09 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And it's something I think you can then, you can navigate through that to make it a strength. Like I know for my husband... One of the things he's really good at, I think because he's an introvert, he says he doesn't really – although he does enjoy certain social interactions, he doesn't like talking about himself.
And so one of the things he's really good at, and he actually did some work on trying to build this up, is – getting other people talking about themselves. So he's very engaging in a conversation and comes across as very friendly. And that's why people have that misconception.
They think because he's so friendly and engaging, he must be an extrovert. But actually, he's just really good at asking people questions and getting other people talking.

00:25:56 - Amber Hawley
Right. Yeah. And that's a good awareness to have because you don't want to make that assumption, right? That somebody's Because that's where I guess you could come into, you think somebody's just go, go, go out there. And then you reach out to them and they're like, oh, no, you know, sorry, I need to, you know, I need some downtime or whatever.
Maybe they won't say it like that. And you can think, oh, they're just making up an excuse. But it's real. It's real.

00:26:21 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, I know. I feel like I'm always surrounded by introverted people. My brother is probably the most introverted person I've ever met in my whole life. And so he's totally that person where he would like not want to do something. But again, he's really funny.
And I mean, obviously, I grew up with him. So I talk to him all the time, right? But in social settings, he can be really funny and super engaging. And he's really smart. So he can talk about a lot of different things. But I know that there are so many times where he Declines invitations or doesn't want to do something.
Or if he is acting weird when we're all together, then I realize like, Oh, okay, no, he just needs to go be alone. And now it's kind of fun because I can, I feel like I don't have to worry about it, right?

So I understand that about him and I can be like, Oh yeah, well, you know. Corey can go and do his thing because, you know, he just wants to go off and be by himself. And so we'll go do this over here.

00:27:22 - Amber Hawley
And he's totally cool with it. And we're cool with it. Yes, yes. And that's the value of understanding yourself and understanding the people in your circle. And so, you know, bringing it back to the biz bestie thing, you know, I guess I'm going to make an analogy to like couples counseling, because, you know, I see a lot of people in couples.
So I do see people where this, you know, within the relationship or marriage or you know, whatever that dynamic is. They struggle where if one person is on one extreme and they're like, you know, very introverted and they would call themselves, I think they would call themselves also like a homebody and they just want that downtime and they don't mind.
There are some people who are like, I'm an introvert and a homebody, but I don't actually want to be alone. I just want somebody else there. And so, and then if they happen to choose a partner who's an extrovert and needs to be out and be social, that becomes a problematic dynamic for them.

And so it's figuring out those ways to honor both of the needs and understanding that, you know, what one person's need is going to look very different than yours, right? Because I'll have somebody who says, oh, you know, they go out once a month, like that should be enough.
That should be plenty. And I say like, you know, it really just depends on the person. Like there are people I know that they go out probably three times a week to events or to hang out with friends or do social things or do like their hobbies or, you know, bowling league or soccer or whatever.
They do that frequently. And some people would be like, oh my gosh, that's way too much. Like that's, I need to be home more, you know, but then that tells you that's not where you're at in the spectrum.

For other people, that would be very normal. And for other people, that's way too much. I also see people where if they go out once every other month, they're totally fine and they feel rejuvenated by that. And so I think it's really easy, especially as women, to get into this place of feeling judged like we're doing it wrong or what's wrong with me that I need this much time by myself or what's wrong with me that I feel like in order to be happy, I need to go out once a week with friends or something like that.
There's nothing wrong with you. It's just understanding where you're at in the spectrum.

00:29:43 - Maelisa Hall
Right. Completely agree. So what would be on the flip side, some what are we saying? Blessings, positive strengths, whatever they are, good things about being an extrovert.

00:30:01 - Amber Hawley
Do you want to speak to that one? Yeah.

00:30:04 - Maelisa Hall
I mean, there's so many, right? No, I'm just kidding. I mean, I think the obvious one is what we already brought up, which is that the world is kind of built on extroversion, meaning that the more outgoing, which again is not specifically an extroversion trait, but the more you're willing to go and talk to people and do events and lead things and be around others, I mean, you are more likely to be seen as a leader and And you're more likely to, you know, build up a large network and that can really be a benefit.
Obviously, we talked about, you know, you need to have that follow up along with it. But I think that a lot of introverts too often look up to extroverts because if you're an introvert who struggles with being in these public settings a lot, going to events or doing things like that, then maybe if you're...

Looking at extroverts or people who seem to very easily engage with others, I think that's when introverts are looking up to extroverts and sort of that grass is greener thing is going on. Absolutely.

00:31:18 - Amber Hawley
And I think of it as, and this might be our particular version of extroversion, is I feel like we're good connectors. We're good at including people and getting people feeling feeling the vibe, whatever it is when we're out. So I think that that's a benefit as well, is feeling like we're inclusive of people and that they feel engaged when you're out and having fun.

00:31:49 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. I mean, and if you are truly getting energy from being around people and It's not anybody. I mean, obviously there are people that I don't want to be around. So it's not like I just have to be around people. But in general, I can have... This is one big thing with introversion versus extroversion is small talk.
And while as ENFPs, small talk isn't our favorite thing, I can do that and it's not a big deal to me. I mean, it's kind of a no-brainer and I can do that and engage with people. And that just makes it easier for me to... talk with more people, right?
Whereas a lot of people who are introverted, because they may not value or be interested in small talk, especially if you haven't kind of put in some work to build up those skills, then it's something that you need to build up a little bit.

Whereas I think for extroverts, that comes a little bit more naturally. So it can be easy to start those engagements with other people.

00:32:51 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I think that's where some of that you know, talking about the struggles is I know that there are times when I'm out and I'm out because I want to have fun and I want to engage and it's just like the energy and flow. Like maybe I've just felt like I've been really, you know, stuck in a rut or hunkered down or just really, you know, full schedule, whatever.
And so I haven't had as much of that social interaction. So sometimes when I go to things, I'm just excited to be around people. And so sometimes that can come off as, you you're not an intelligent, serious person, which is not the case, but I understand why people may perceive it that way.
And that's where it's like, either way, you don't want to be making like blanket judgments on people.

And at the same time, like when I'm one-on-one with people, that's where I'm going to probably sit down and have more thoughtful, serious conversations. But when I'm out having fun, like I want to be out and having fun.

00:33:50 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I guess even as I'm thinking about it now, because there are – because we're a social society, I mean, societies are in general, right? I think it can be really fun and easy to be an extrovert because there's always going to be things – that I can go to and do.
And it's not a struggle for me. I'm like, oh, yeah, kids birthday party, let's go. Oh, yeah, family event, let's go. Oh, yeah, networking lunch, I'm on it, you know. And so I feel like a lot of times it can be really fun. And it's just a matter of finding out what's going on, you know?

00:34:32 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, yeah. So I hope it feels balanced that we're we're saying there are blessings in both sides and that there are struggles for both sides. And it's just, again, understanding who you are, kind of what works for you. I think the important thing is being really open and understanding that, you know, another one that I hear a lot is people will assume somebody is kind of stuck up just because they're quieter or that they don't want to engage or that they're, judging them or something.
And the reality is they're just kind of quiet and they're maybe they are more shy. So maybe they are introverted and they're shy. So they're just on that side of things. And it's not that at all. So again, just making those blanket judgments, trying to reach out and give people the opportunity.

Now, if you engage someone and they're rude, then there you go. Like that's information, right? That's a whole separate thing. But I feel like sometimes it's just about engaging people and understanding that. But whether I feel like there's a lot of value in having your biz bestie be similar in that trait.
It's not a this isn't a mandate or a must for sure. Like, but I feel like it makes that piece easier to get through. Like you don't even have the person if somebody is an introvert, they're going to understand it. And it'll be not even a question. Right, and so, and the same thing with an extrovert, and so I think there is a lot of value in having that biz bestie be somewhat similar in that regards.
Not, it's not absolutely necessary because you if you find someone you click with, you click with them.

You know, that's what's important. But I do think that there's a lot of benefit in that. And I know for me, like the previous biz besties I've had and still have, are all extroverts. And that really works for me.

00:36:25 - Maelisa Hall
It just makes it easier, yeah. Yeah. And it's so funny because, you know, I mentioned my husband is super introverted and we definitely make that work, but it means that we do a lot of different things, right? And with having a biz bestie, I feel like it's much easier for us to be on the same page about that stuff because it's not like, you know, you're not somebody I'm living with 24-7.

00:36:50 - Amber Hawley
Exactly.

00:36:51 - Maelisa Hall
So it's just a different dynamic. And so if you already have sort of that, you know, extra separation and then to add that piece onto it would make it just another thing that would, I don't know, we wouldn't be able to go to all these cool conferences together and be on the same page.
Yeah, you want to eliminate any barriers if possible.

00:37:11 - Amber Hawley
And you make a good point. We are going to accept things in our partner and spouse that we don't really want to deal with in a friendship and vice versa. Yeah. So, so that's something to think about. But yeah, I think, you know, you know, maybe everybody out there has a different viewpoint on that.
But I have found for me that makes it really easy. And like I said, I have a lot of really close good girlfriends that are introverted, and I love them to death. And so it's not about friendships. But when I when I think about my biz bestie, because the level of energy, like again, that's, it's going back to, I wouldn't want to wear someone out and I wouldn't want to feel judgment because I'm out there being, you know, out there.
I would want to feel supported and I want somebody by my side.

So that's kind of what works for me, but I'd be curious if people have a different viewpoint on that.

00:38:10 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. Yeah. I would say, yeah. I mean, you'd never know. And like you said, really, it's mostly about the connection and you can make it work. But it has... There are a lot of barriers that we don't have to work through because that's not one of them.
Yes. So it's just made things a little bit simpler. Yes. We went a little bit longer with this episode, but that's cool because it's one of our favorite topics. So hopefully you got some insights. And we ask that if... you did get some insight or if you know somebody who would really benefit from listening to this episode, if you can think of just one person that might really find this helpful, then please share it with them.
So make sure you're subscribed to our podcast and then share this episode with somebody that might find it helpful.

00:38:59 - Amber Hawley
Yes. And thank you for being with us today. And like we said, next week, we will talk more about the Myers-Briggs and more personality stuff. Yeah, so get ready. All right. Thanks, everybody.