Why Having a Team is Actually Important for Self-Care

00:00:24 - Amber Hawley
Welcome to season three of the My Biz Bestie podcast. I'm Amber Hawley.

00:00:28 - Maelisa Hall
And I'm Melissa Hall.

00:00:30 - Amber Hawley
And today we're going to talk about how having a team is really about self-care. It is. Absolutely. It's all about you. And that's the best part of hiring people is you can literally tell them it's all about you.
Yes. Yeah, we felt like this was a good one to talk about. Obviously, as we talk about business support systems, I mean, you can't not talk about teams as part of, you know, building a sustainable business that brings you joy and happiness. And we did have that wonderful episode last season with the wonderful Shelley Warren, who talks all about teams and go back to that one for sure.
We'll link it in the show notes because that's a great one. But yeah, we wanted to talk about, you know, so many entrepreneurs get into this state of overwhelm because there are always more things to do than there is time.

00:01:23 - Maelisa Hall
Yes, you could work all the time, seven days a week and still find more things to do. Right. And like still not meet all your goals.

00:01:31 - Amber Hawley
I personally think that we can attest to that one this week. Yeah. My family is out of town for two weeks and this is day eight of like 12 hour days for me. And I tell you, my to do list still feels endless.

00:01:46 - Maelisa Hall
Even though you've been very busy. Very productive.

00:01:48 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. So meaning there is just so much to do, right?

00:01:51 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. There's always stuff to do. And I think everybody knows that. But it's about more than just getting all of your things done and moving your business forward. I think we usually think of teams when we think of increasing profit and we think of growing your business, right?
It's like, oh, if you're going to grow, you need to have a team. Or at a certain point, you need to leverage your income somehow. But really, the reason that you should hire sooner... and maybe even get a little more creative about how you hire and who you hire, is that it is self-care because you can't manage it all.
And no one does, no matter what they say online. And if they do, they're lying.

00:02:31 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. I mean... Or not making money. Yes. Well, this is the thing. I've had... Well, first of all, to go along with that is... The thing is, there are so many people that will come out like a year or two later and tell you about how burnt out they are.
And, you know, there are countless stories like that of people who hit burnout. And as a therapist, I see those people. And the problem is, once you hit burnout, it takes so much to get it back to where you need to be to a healthy place. It is not like, oh, I took a couple weeks off and it's all good thing.
It is a process. And so we really want to avoid getting to that place. And unfortunately, how people recognize that place is they've been stressed or overworked for so long that their body starts shutting down. And I think, you know, that's what I see a lot in my practice is, you know, cause I deal with a lot of high achieving people.

Type A people who are very goal-oriented. And it's when they start having major health issues upon health issues, or their relationships are in shambles because they're not giving them any time. And usually, in my opinion, you see a combination of those two things.
And it's just so hard to come back from that. And so we wanted to talk about how can you take care of yourself so that you have that longevity and you don't hit that wall?

00:03:50 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I think one of the things that was revolutionary to me, which I learned a little late. So hopefully you're listening sooner than I was at that time. It doesn't mean that it has to be someone you hire in your business. Actually, you might be better off hiring someone to clean your house, or you might be better off paying for someone to come and prepare meals for you every week.
There are other things that are actually pretty affordable that might serve you better than because they stress you out less. I think it's really about focusing on like what stresses you out. And I know for me, taking care of stuff around the house is very stressful.
And it's also a big deal for my husband. And he's really great about that. But it's, you know, it's kind of like a team thing and he works too. So for us, it was easier to hire that part of it out.

00:04:40 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I agree. I find, again, working with a lot of high achieving couples, it's I find that that is not only less expensive, but it can have such a big impact because those kinds of things, unless you're the kind of person, and there are people out there like this, believe it or not, who are like, doing the dishes just really calms me down.
And I invite you to come to my house if you're that person, because that is the most dreaded thing for me besides laundry folding. And that's the thing. It's like, you know, if something recharges you fine, if that's what helps you de-stress, but if it's just this another, you know, tick in the to-do list, outsource that.
Definitely outsource that, you know? And I agree that sometimes it's those non-conventional ways that we're supporting our business, but it's not technically business related.

00:05:26 - Maelisa Hall
Oh, yeah. Like even when I was in grad school, there was a pretty successful psychologist who hired me to drive her daughter around. in the afternoon. You know, her daughter was a teenager. And so it was like she had all these different things she was doing in the afternoon and I got a little extra cash.
And so it was great. You know, I mean, there's so many things you can do, but that saved her stress. Yes. Because she was working during those times, you know, and she wanted to have someone reliable to help her out with that basic thing. Yeah.

00:05:57 - Amber Hawley
And that's one of those things where, you know, as a mom myself and knowing a lot of other moms, like, People say, oh, I want to have time with my kids. But is driving them around to practices, like, is that quality time? Now, for some people, they absolutely wouldn't give that up.
And that's great. This isn't about telling you how to do it. But for me, I know that I would rather... have the time where I actually just get to be with them and it's not like in the car or in distraction or in that kind of space, if at all possible, right?
So it's just considering what are those options. The other thing, like one of the things we did, we have a cleaning lady that comes every other week and it would be nice. I want to up that by the end of the year because kids are messy. But We also did those meal delivery services.
And so we picked one. I do not get paid for this, but we used Green Chef and I liked them because they were organic and they did paleo.

So I liked that. And you actually cook it yourself because like pre-made meals kind of skeeved me a little. So it was like the perfect thing, but it was like, you didn't have to shop. You didn't have to think about what to cook. You didn't have to meal plan.
You just had it. And then you knew you got a healthy meal and And you had a little control because you're cooking it, right? So sometimes it's just thinking about those kinds of things. Or I know other people that will actually use meal planning services.
So they don't buy anything for you. They don't give anything to you except for the list. And you go through and customize that. But it's efficiency, right? So sometimes it's those kinds of things. But sometimes it is about hiring in your business.

00:07:28 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And even it's going to be different for everybody, right? Like for me, cooking can be kind of stressful. And I would love to... I don't like those services because I'm like, I'm still freaking cooking the meal. I can't believe I'm paying extra for that.
But I've discovered since I've been better due to my husband's pushing, thankfully, since I've been better about having boundaries of when I end work, which has helped a lot because his schedule has changed. But now it's like at five o'clock, I try to be done with work.
And so... I realized now that I have a regular habit of doing this, how rare it was that I would be done with my day at five. And so I would feel like, oh, okay, wow, it's five o'clock and I don't have to do anything. And cooking became less stressful.
And it actually, because we were both home, so like, you know, my husband and I don't have kids.

And for me, I was like, oh, if it's just the two of us and we can do this together, like it doesn't have to take up all of our evening. And it's actually something that we can do that can be fun. Now, we still batch cook.

00:08:35 - Amber Hawley
Well, that's just smart.

00:08:36 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, because I'm not crazy. So don't think we're like all lovey-dovey in the kitchen cooking for an hour every night. That is not happening.

00:08:43 - Amber Hawley
I imagine you're listening to Andrew Botticelli or something like that while you're doing it. I don't know. I just picture that. I feel like that's what needs to be playing in the background.

00:08:51 - Maelisa Hall
Not usually. Actually, random aside, the chill hop station on YouTube was probably the most played in our house. But, you know, I think this is why we're talking about it as self-care. Like the fact that I had those boundaries because I now have a couple of assistants that help me with different things.
So I feel like, oh, OK, if I finish working at five, things are handled.

00:09:13 - Amber Hawley
Yes.

00:09:13 - Maelisa Hall
And everything is fine until tomorrow or until Monday or whatever. And now I'm free. Like my brain is free to think about other things and pursue other interests and actually spend time with people I love.

00:09:25 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, and that's what was occurring to me as you said that was you had space. And so inherently when you have space for something, even if it's not your favorite thing, because we know you don't love to cook, but it still becomes less stressful. And yeah, it's just like you don't feel that pressure.
And I can imagine previous to hiring your assistant, if you're working until eight o'clock at night and then you're starving, like you're gonna feel stressed cooking anyway because you've already waited too long, right? So that's a part of that. I think the awareness that I had is when I look back at these times of extreme stress in my business, and I went through a long period of burnout as well.
It was, I look back and I'm like, oh, at the time I thought, oh, I can't afford an assistant.

I can't afford what I'm needing. And when I look back, I was like, oh, had I actually hired that person, I would have saved money. They would have paid for themselves. They would have saved me money in Like following up on things that got dropped or bills that got dropped or being more efficient with things.
Freeing me up so that I could do the work that I actually love to do instead of having to handle all that minutia. And then just the stress.

00:10:37 - Maelisa Hall
Oh, yeah. And when you think about the... I mean, we all know stress is bad for you, right? Like it has such a huge impact. And it really does have a monetary impact. Like if you all of a sudden have to start buying all these other things... to make your home as peaceful as possible because really what you need to do is maybe make your job a little bit easier for yourself so that you're not stressed every time you're done or every time you think about what needs to be done or you have health costs or whatever.
There's so many ways it can impact. It usually saves you money. And most people say after they hire someone, they wish they had done it like six months sooner.

00:11:13 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, or more. But it does. It's true. Because I think about those periods where I think one thing my husband and I did well to reduce our stress was not stress about the fact that for a period of time when I was really building up and we had really young kids and we had opposite schedules, it was like, I'm ordering out.
And it wasn't, you know, that's not the ideal. And I actually like cooking, but it was like, I can't deal with this. But it cost us a ton of money. So had I probably, I could have taken that eat out money, hired an assistant to do a bunch of stuff, and then I could have actually cooked because I want to, not because I should cook, right?
So it's like one of those things. But yeah, I think that a lot of people make that mistake of saying like, I can't afford this. And this is something I say to people coming into therapy a lot is sometimes you can't afford not to.

And in the grand scheme of your health and wellbeing and just how you feel about your life and how you show up for the people that you love and care about, Really, it's like a no-brainer at that point.

00:12:13 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I think it's one of those things, like as a business, you have to weigh different decisions and decide at what point do I need to hire different people and think about those roles and really think about like, okay, what is becoming overwhelming?
One thing you'll often hear people say is like, what is stressing you out the most or not in your zone of genius? Like hire that out first. So if that will make you less stressed, do that. I know one of the first things I hired out after some random things that I just thought like, oh, well, I'm supposed to hire these things out because you're supposed to get a VA and they're supposed to do that.
And then I realized one of the most stressful things for me was email because I'm decent with email. And it's just one of those points for me, like having all those things in my inbox is very stressful. So I need to address them. So it got to the point where I was spending so much time on email, managing that.

I was like, I can't do everything else I need to do. But my time is not best spent in email. Yes. So I hired someone to manage that. And it's been amazing. All you got to do is hire someone who's nice and friendly and somewhat detail-oriented. And they're pretty good at dealing with customer service emails.
That's not a huge thing.

00:13:19 - Amber Hawley
Exactly. And if you're the person out there sitting there going like, oh, lucky her. It's like, no, she made a choice to make that a priority to give back to herself because of the bigger picture. And ultimately, if we're the CEOs of our companies, we should be doing three things.
that should be being the face like slash PR. So you're out there being the public representation of your company, you're generating revenue and hiring and firing. But everything else really is not a good use of your time. Now, in the beginning, I get, we've been there, right?
It's like, In the beginning, you're going to be doing all those other things too. But it doesn't have to be all or nothing. There are so many ways that you can hire people, like you said, with a VA, where it's a very low commitment.

You don't have to pay people as employees and all the stuff that comes along with that. And that's huge, by the way. You can have small hour commitments. There's Upwork. There's Fiverr. There's just so many things you can actually delegate. you know? So there are quite a few things that I do delegate in my business.
Like I have a bookkeeper who does my QuickBooks because I would go crazy if I had to do that. I have a CPA that does my taxes. I have an HR consultant. All of my people are employees. So I have an intake person who does phone calls and handles incoming potential client requests because that is the one thing I...
I'm great on the phone. I love talking to people. but I don't want to have to do that. And frankly, I'm usually with clients, so I can't. And so that was probably the biggest breath of fresh air that I ever did was hiring an intake person.

00:14:58 - Maelisa Hall
And that is not someone who's directly bringing you money, but indirectly they are, right? Because if you're someone in your situation where you are butt in chair with clients, you can't say, hold on a second, let me answer the phone, then you need someone continuing to bring in referrals.
And usually, whoever answers the phone is going to get the client, you know, because they're going to call the next person. That's why, I mean, it was so awesome when Shelly Warren shared when we went to an event last year, she said that for some people, your best first hire might actually be a salesperson.
not a VA. And if you think about maybe if you're stressing because you know you're stressed out, like we always know when we need to hire people, right?

Like we always know like, yeah, we should have hired someone. But usually we don't. Sometimes it's because hiring is stressful, but most of the time it's because we don't want to spend the money. And if you can maybe reconcile that a little bit easier because you can say, oh, this is someone who's actually going to bring in money, like do that, bring in more money and have somebody else doing the work to help you do it.

00:16:06 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And thinking about somebody in my intake position, she's actually a combination of salesperson and admin. Because even though it's not sales per se, it's client nurturing and assessing and making sure they're a good fit. And she is a cost. If you looked at my budget spreadsheet, she's a cost.
But the thing is, if she does good in converting clients and matching clients well with the clinicians that work on our team, that makes us money. So even though it looks like a cost, she absolutely is generating that revenue. And so it is an important position, absolutely.
And so sometimes it's thinking of those things differently, because I hadn't really, I guess I hadn't thought in the terms of being like a salesperson, but it kind of is. And so yeah, sometimes it isn't the admin. Like, I think you had said this earlier when we were talking of, you know, maybe you're you continue to do the Canva stuff, but you have somebody out there like pounding the pavement and doing revenue generation, you know, that kind of thing.

Because some people are better at it than others. Some people like to do kind of the behind the scenes work or they're doing the, you know, the work of the business, so to speak, but they have somebody else that's going out there and doing the promotion or the fundraising or whatever it is, you know, however your business model looks.

00:17:25 - Maelisa Hall
Oh, yeah. And especially if you have, I mean, we all have businesses that require sales in some way. But if you kind of require like more handholding for sales, whatever your business is, like when you meet people who are, there's an X factor with sales, right?
Like when you meet people who are really good salespeople, they have this X factor. Like some people are just born to sell. And if you can find someone like that, they love to do it and you just get them going, man, you can see a huge, huge increase.

00:17:58 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. It makes me think of a client who's struggling with a lot of business stuff and stress. And there's a person who is the ultimate salesperson and brings in so much revenue, but it was also a real challenge as an employee. And it's like, hopefully you don't get that.
But it's true. That can be the saving grace is having that person. So I do think looking at this from a little bit of a different angle, of course, like Melissa said in the beginning, We want to hire people because at a certain point, your business can't grow any further with just you.
In order to scale, you do have to hire people. But the reality is sometimes you do it sooner or you do it because you want a different life or a different kind of balance. And I think it's hard sometimes to make that choice. We were talking about a lot of women that I talk to or we hear from will say, oh, I want to be able to spend more time with my kids.

And not just spend time with them, but actually have the energy to enjoy them. Or they say they want to be with their spouse more, right? And that can be really easy then to see like, okay, so then I should hire somebody so that I can do this. But you had a great little story to share about when that's not as clear.

00:19:11 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. On another podcast beyond the to-do list that we both listened to, Eric Fisher has published who we would refer to as a biz bro.

00:19:19 - Amber Hawley
I don't know that he would, but we do.

00:19:21 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, his biz bestie. And they've talked about, and I think we've kind of talked about this in another episode that they did like a productivity pub crawl and they work together, not as in being in the same company, but like they just get together and work.
And his friend, whose name I do not remember, is a single guy. And he talked about being an entrepreneur and being a single guy and how, yes, he has more time and there are fewer things demanding his time, But he also doesn't have things that are providing him any structure because he has the type of job where he can work whenever he wants.
And he has no family who is like needs to be in bed at a certain time or is only available during certain hours. He's not married. So there's no one where like you want to spend time in the evenings kind of a thing. And it's so easy to just obsess, obsess, work, work, work.

And even if you're not necessarily a workaholic, But still, when you don't have those boundaries, when it's just kind of like it's always work time or downtime, that is causing stress that often we don't realize. And I think it's so easy to do that for all of us.

00:20:26 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, that's a more chronic kind of low-lying stress because I do think that's true. And I see people who, yeah, have more total freedom in their schedule per se, but because there's no delineation or boundary between that, they never really feel like they have time off because they're always...
you know, working or always doing something. And that's great if you love your job and it energizes you, but we still need that time away where we're not thinking, we're not doing, we're just being. And I do think that that's where it's like that time away to recharge allows us to actually be more creative and present and productive when we're actually doing the work.

00:21:03 - Maelisa Hall
Oh yeah.

00:21:03 - Amber Hawley
And there's all kinds of research to support that.

00:21:05 - Maelisa Hall
There's a ton of research. And yet we don't do it. And I've been horrible about this. I've been a lot better recently. But I mean, I've totally been bad about that.

00:21:14 - Amber Hawley
Although not the last three days because I was going to say, so Melissa is up visiting me because like I said, my family's out of town. And so she arrived Friday morning. And despite the fact that I had three hours of sleep, we have been working so long until like one in the morning and one night was till 2.
30 in the morning. Ridiculous. So we have bad boundaries too sometimes.

00:21:37 - Maelisa Hall
But we also knew this was going to be a productivity weekend.

00:21:40 - Amber Hawley
Yes. This is our GSD weekend where we were trying to get a lot of content out and just really, you know, get a lot done because this is our side business and our passion project. We do try to be actually really efficient with it. So we spend all this time like in a concentrated time doing this.
So we have lots of time off from it.

00:22:01 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And that's, I think, because we've been so good about that, it keeps it really enjoyable.

00:22:07 - Amber Hawley
Yeah.

00:22:08 - Maelisa Hall
You know?

00:22:08 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, because then it feels different. But that's where even going through our lists, there were things that were on the list. And I thought, okay, well, I'm going to delegate this to my assistant. There are things that we both identified. There are things we need to do ourselves because we have to, and it's only us that can do it.
But everything else, I just want to outsource because that's not a good use of our time.

00:22:27 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And it makes this something that we can enjoy. And it's not eating into our downtime. And it's not like we're working so much on this. when we should be having downtime because we also have other businesses.

00:22:41 - Amber Hawley
Yes. And so thinking about this, we'll do kind of a quick, one last thought I had actually was, I also see this with moms who, especially with online business, because there is more flexibility and they feel like what they have to do is only work when their kids are asleep or at school or, you know, like when their kids are otherwise occupied and then they're just go, go, go all day.
And as soon as their kid goes to sleep, instead of having any downtime for themselves or being able to spend time with their partner, that's when they go into work mode. And there is a time and a place for that. I understand that. We have to sometimes sacrifice in the short term.
But if that's your long-term plan, it's not sustainable and it's not a good idea. And that's where reinvest in yourself and hire someone.

Hire a nanny or a mother's helper. It doesn't mean you have to leave the house or whatever, but it's hire those people to give you that support and give you that permission. And doing that doesn't mean that you don't care about your kids or you don't want to be with them, but you will in the long term have more energy, quality time with them if you do that.
And so that's just something to consider. Again, not telling people what to do, but also giving you like opening up for permission of that's okay.

00:23:55 - Maelisa Hall
Well, yeah. And I think you're saying also be realistic. Like it is unrealistic to think that you are only going to work during nap times. or after your kids go to bed, and that you're going to actually do that long-term. Or have a six-figure business.

00:24:10 - Amber Hawley
Yes. Whatever that means.

00:24:11 - Maelisa Hall
Yes. Or make a lot of money while you're doing that.

00:24:14 - Amber Hawley
Like, no.

00:24:15 - Maelisa Hall
And people try to say that, but pretty much all the people I know who make those claims don't do that. They're not actually doing that.

00:24:23 - Amber Hawley
Yes. Again, short-term is one thing. Or, yeah, they're having family help, and they're just not calling it having a sitter. Or they're having all these different Yeah, they're having different ways of getting that support. Or, you know, like there's just so much to that.
So we just want to say, like, figure out what works for you. Figure out what is the team that would work best for you. And is that, you know, having housekeepers? Is it having babysitters, nannies? Is it having somebody come in and cook your meals for you and do batch cooking for you?
You know, is it having an assistant or an admin or... a VA or like I have a designer I use. There's some stuff I can do, but at a certain point, it's not a good use of my time to be doing a lot of things. So I just send it off to a designer and I have a web designer and I have, you know, like we said, a bunch of other support systems.

And it's like, you know, that's just good. It's good for everybody.

00:25:18 - Maelisa Hall
Oh, yeah.

00:25:19 - Amber Hawley
I'm supporting the economy. Yeah, I know. Can I also add, I know we have to wrap this up, but I think the other part of my team, when I think about it, is my massage therapist, my chiropractor. I would like to thank my hairstylist. Actually, that one's not true.
I go in like twice a year. No, she's sometimes four times a year if I'm really maxing it out for my hair.

00:25:42 - Maelisa Hall
I know, me too, me too. Like, oh, I need to get my hair cut.

00:25:47 - Amber Hawley
Oh, I will say my esthetician because I do go for regular pedicures because that's just good self-care.

00:25:52 - Maelisa Hall
And when your feet are happy, you're happy. Yeah, I don't have an esthetician. Yeah, I don't even understand that.

00:26:01 - Amber Hawley
I've had one since I was like 30. That is a priority for me. There's so many other things I could give up, but I love me a facial.

00:26:12 - Maelisa Hall
Well, everybody has their thing, right? So it's like maybe your thing is eating out. Maybe your thing is going to get your nails done. Maybe your thing is getting facials or massages done. Maybe it's luxury purses. Maybe it's luxury purses. Maybe it's travel.
Yeah. See, travel. Maybe it's online courses. Travel would be mine.

00:26:31 - Amber Hawley
I didn't look at anybody when I said that.

00:26:34 - Maelisa Hall
But yeah, give yourself that grace, but also be realistic. Use your team as self-care because that is what's going to make things sustainable for you long-term.

00:26:45 - Amber Hawley
And what's the point of having a quote-unquote successful business if you're too sick to enjoy it?

00:26:51 - Maelisa Hall
Value bomb. Oh, see, that's what I should have said. Hashtag. Hashtag value bomb. All right. So if you thought this was valuable, we would love if you obviously would subscribe. If you're still listening, you listen to the whole episode, then you need to subscribe because you'll like the rest of the episodes.
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00:27:30 - Amber Hawley
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00:27:37 - Maelisa Hall
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00:27:53 - Amber Hawley
Especially at one in the morning.

00:27:54 - Maelisa Hall
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00:28:02 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And if we didn't, you know, feel free to listen to a different podcast. All right. Head on over. Thank you so much. Bye.