My Neurodivergent Brain With Rebecca Rose

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Business owners are increasingly being pulled in so many directions feeling

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like they aren't reaching their full potential in business and life despite their

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type a ways. With my background as a therapist entrepreneur

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and as a.com dropout with ADHD, I interview and

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coach high achieving business owners like you who want to stop struggling for

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success by using psychological systems,

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strategies and the occasional carefrontation.

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This is the easily distracted entrepreneur, your place to

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slay overwhelm perfectionism and shiny object syndrome so

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that you can get done what matters most to you.

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Hello, hello my focus seeking friends.

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Welcome back to another awesome episode of the easily distracted

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entrepreneur. I'm your host, Amber Holley, and today

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I am interviewing a awesome guest for

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our new series within the series called

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my neurodivergent brain. And I

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have with me another awesome entrepreneur

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who is, as I my new terminology that I've

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learned is neuro spicy.

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I absolutely love that term.

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I have the wonderful Rebecca Rose on with me today,

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and Rebecca is she is a creator,

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writer, artist and she

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is extremely neurospicy. So I think you're going to love to hear

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from her as she talks about her insights,

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of how her particular blend

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of neurodiversity impacts her as an entrepreneur,

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how it also can make being an entrepreneur

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pretty awesome. So she shares the good, the bad,

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how she accommodates and everything, how it impacts her. So I can't

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wait to get into the interview. But first, I want to give you a reminder

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that this upcoming Friday, I am hosting

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a free workshop called the

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Get Shit done workshop. And frankly, I mean, we all

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could get more shit done, right? But specifically, what we're

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going to cover is talking about structures and workflows,

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how you manage time, especially as a neurodivergent

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business owner, and managing your energy so

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that it is sustainable. So we're going to get into all the things

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in this awesome free workshop this Friday.

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Apparently, my word for today is awesome. I think I've already said it three times.

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So if you're doing a drinking game, maybe restart this intro and see

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how many times I say awesome. You know,

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whatever you're drinking, it could be your coffee, you could do shots of espresso and

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then you'll really get shit done. But anyway, I would love

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to have you join me for the free workshop on Friday

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starting at noon Eastern. You can go ahead and register for that@amberholley.com.

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gSD as in get shit done. And as

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a reminder, we also have another free event happening at the end

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of the month where we have an all day co working. So if you are

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not yet on the mailing list,

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on our email list, and then you will never get the information and

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how to join us for the free co working as well. So again, head on

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over to amberholley.com gsd.

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And now my interview with Rebecca.

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Hello Rebecca. Welcome to the podcast. Hello.

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Thank you for having me on. Yes, I'm very excited for

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this. This is another one of the

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in a series I'm calling my neurodivergent brain.

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And you are so gracious to agree to come on

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and talk about, you know, your unique brain and how it works

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and how it impacts your business and, you know, all the things, as we say,

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all the things. Anyway, so. Exactly.

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Exactly. Well,

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I did, I did a short bio about kind of a little bit about the

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work you do, but maybe in your own words you could just share a little

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bit about who you are and what you do.

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That's always hard to pin down to a couple sentences.

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But I've actually been working in my bio for

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years now. So I guess mainly

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I'm a writer. I write about my experiences

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living with my brain and

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all the things I've gone through in the last ten plus years

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of lots of trauma and self discovery.

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And I'm a blogger. I started my

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blog in 2009, back when Instagram

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wasn't a thing. And I don't think podcasts were a thing. Maybe they were

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just barely. Yeah, I just really enjoyed

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that community and never really thought that it would

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be my life, like, full time career,

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but it ended up being just that. So,

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yeah, wonderful.

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And I live near you, which I didn't realize. And I started

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listening to your podcast last year on this time and didn't realize you lived

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in Asheville or Weaverville or wherever you live until

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like a couple episodes in. And I was like, wait a minute, you live near

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me. I know. We've had the, we've been able to

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meet up in person. And today, even though you

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know if you're listening, you can't see, I'm just going to do this in case

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to use that video, I'm wearing one of your all worries

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sweatshirts, which I love that you have created. You have a

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shop of really cool things. I guess I forget.

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I leave that out because that wasn't my main thing is writing.

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And I always forget, like, oh, yeah, I create things, too, other than words.

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I guess there are words on shirts and stickers. But yes,

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it's still, yes, you're still getting messaging out there. And in

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the intro, I did talk about all of that. Okay, cool. You got

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me covered. Yeah, we got you covered. We got you covered.

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But let's see. I guess I want to start with some

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people, like, have been diagnosed, you know, really early on, and they don't necessarily

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remember that time period. But I know that for you, like you said,

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it's been a. The last few years have been a lot of discovery for

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you. So I wondered if you could share a little bit about,

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like, your diagnosis and kind of a

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little bit about that process, everything you're going through.

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Yeah, of course. So I have been in therapy,

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official therapy, for more than ten years.

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I started going right after my father passed away when I was 24 in 2011.

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And I've always had struggled with anxiety,

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depression, and even when I was younger, like,

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in middle school and elementary school, I had a hard

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time. And so I saw social workers in school. I never thought of it as

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therapy then, but I. Yeah, I had, you know, always struggled with anxiety,

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social anxiety, just, you know, wanting to understand my

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brain and talk to people who got it.

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So over the years, I, you know, in my twenties, I was going

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to therapy for grieving my father mostly,

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but started to really show signs of,

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like, health anxiety and OCD, so. And wasn't diagnosed,

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even though I showed all. All the signs of it. But I

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kind of knew that I had OCD because my. My father, I'm pretty sure,

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had OCD. Um, he was never diagnosed either, but the

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signs were all there, too. But it wasn't until I was 31,

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um, that I actually got the diagnosis, um, and that

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was after a whole big episode with fleas

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and my cat and contamination. And, you know,

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my. My therapist was kind of just, like, nonchalant. Like, oh,

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yeah, you have OCD. And I was like, okay, cool. It's. It's good to hear

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somebody say that. There wasn't really a big process, but it was.

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It was still a pretty big breakthrough. I wrote about it on my blog.

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I have, like, a series called the Breakthrough series how I

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was diagnosed with OCD, ADHD. And as

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you know, I've been working on my. How I was diagnosed with autism.

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But that's. We can talk about that later. But, yeah,

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so I had gotten that diagnosis, and then a couple

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months later, that same therapist I was seeing,

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I didn't bringing up things about ADHD for a

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while, just symptoms, traits.

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Like, I was always rushing to get there, even though I

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wasn't doing anything beforehand. I had a really hard time starting tasks,

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like doing the dishes or when I was in college,

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I went to school for journalism. And then I wrote for a paper after that.

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And even though I loved writing, I had a really hard time just initiating tasks

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and prioritizing things,

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losing time. And so I had read an article about ADHD,

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and I read it after her one day, and she was like, no, absolutely not.

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You don't have ADHD. So we kind of dropped it.

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So I had seen her. I continued seeing her for

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another year or so and then eventually switched therapists

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right before the pandemic started. And I was going through a

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really hard time at the beginning of 2020,

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I had just returned from visiting family in New York,

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and I usually have a rough time coming

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back. Cause I miss my family. But, you know, just the

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change in routine is hard for me. So we had started talking about

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my therapist, and I had started talking about me going to a psychiatrist

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to get on antidepressants for my OCD and

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depression. So she encouraged me to go.

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And it was that there that I was talking to

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the psychiatrist, and she said, you sound like you might have ADHD.

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Do you want to take a test for it? And I was like, well,

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I didn't know there was a test for it. Let's do that.

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And again, I have this whole process written out on my blog where I went

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in the next day and, like, took this test where they,

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you know, strapped this thing to my head and,

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like. Like, I had this, like, clicker thing that I

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press whenever I saw a shape and color. And it was like, I think,

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only 20 minutes long, but it felt like hours.

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Like, it was really upsetting. Like, I knew halfway through the

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test, I was like, I'm going to be diagnosed with ADHD.

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And I was. And the results were, like, absolutely,

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like, very inattentive and impulsive.

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And they never really described it to me.

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They just were like, yeah, you have ADHD. But since I

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just started antidepressants for OCD, I had

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to wait to get on stimulants for ADHD because they

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can kind of, you know, interact or.

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And I'm not really sure exactly why. I think, like, maybe taking

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ADHD medication when your OCD isn't

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under control makes you, like, obsess or

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focus on your obsessions or something like that. I'd read

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about that. I'm not a doctor. I don't know, but I think about.

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So that was the beginning of March 2020, and then we went into lockdown,

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and a couple months later, I started stimulants for

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ADHD and was like, wow, my anxiety

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is completely gone. Like, all the racing thoughts that stopped. I was like,

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this is what was causing my anxiety. This is amazing.

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And I had no idea that I could feel like this. And then started

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following the ADHD community online

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and reading lots of things on Instagram and Twitter. And then

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it was during that year, from 2020 to

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basically the end of 2021, that I started

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to see parallels between my

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other traits and autism,

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because following those communities online,

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I wasn't actually autistic. Twitter community.

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And people kept on saying things that were like, hey,

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this is what it's like to be autistic. And I.

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I was like, that sounds like me, but I'm, you know,

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because I had health anxiety in the past and OCD, I kind of just

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told myself that I was wrong, that I was like, you know, just imagining

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I had it and, like, you know, blowing it off.

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And then my therapist at the time, the same one who had me go get

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my ADHD diagnosis and medicine,

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told me I was. I had too much empathy. She was like, no, there's no

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way you can be autistic. There's, you know,

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you do all these other things. Meanwhile, my nephew, my 13 year

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old nephew is autistic. So it wasn't that far fetched,

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but, yeah. So I also went to my psychiatrist

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at the time, and she said, no, I've never gotten an inkling of autism from

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you. Which both completely blew me off. And so

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I kind of dropped it. But then it kept on creeping in.

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I kept on seeing more and more people. I related to celebrities.

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You know, comedian Hannah Gadsby, she's a comedian.

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Morgan Harper Nichols, who is a poet who posts

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on Instagram, and they

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are autistic. And I was like, I didn't know that autism could look like

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this, and this looks like me. So I found

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another therapist and switched to her. And she

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had experience with working with people who had OCD,

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but also who were autistic.

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And she. Because she had that experience,

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she could see that the differences, because there are subtle

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differences, but sometimes they look the same. So if you're not experienced with

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both, you might mistake OCD traits

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for, you know, autism traits. And she

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connected me with a testing facility in

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August of 2021, and I went through that process, and it

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was long, about a month.

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And then, yeah, I finally got the

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autism diagnosis, as well as another ADHD diagnosis

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and OCD diagnosis all in one page. So,

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yeah, trifecta. And that was very

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long, very long explanation

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of my training. No, but I mean. But that's the thing. It's for

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so many people, that's usually the process, right?

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Is that it's hard finding people who have that.

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It's like you need to seek out those people with the experts kind of help

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you really define that, because I think, yeah,

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people make assumptions. Like, even learned people

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who are in the profession, if their specialty isn't with

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neurodivergence, they don't necessarily

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understand, like, how it can show up differently. And that's part of why I

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wanted to do this series, because, you know, as somebody who really works with a

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lot of people who are neurodivergent, it's like, so. I mean,

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so vastly different. Every single person. Cause at first, I can remember

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a long time ago thinking, like, okay, this is what ADHD looks

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like. And then, you know, talking to clients, and they had,

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like, none of these certain symptoms, and it's like. Because it shows

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up different for everyone. Right. And then when you have those,

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and we know there's so much overlapped in symptoms, like you said,

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there's subtle differences, like, between OCD,

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ADHD, and autistic traits. Like,

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it can be really difficult. So. And I think so many people go

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through this process of, like, questioning, or I always

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kind of thought so. And then, you know, sometimes it

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just takes a. It takes years to unravel. And that's

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the sad part, right. Because you're not necessarily

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getting the support. And I love that you said once you started

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taking your ADHD medicine, like, the anxiety went away. And I think that's

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one of the biggest frustrations I've had with working with clients

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is they get told, oh, you have anxiety, so we can't put you on a

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stimulant. And it's like,

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yes, but is the ADHD causing the anxiety, like, so many

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times? That's what's happening, right? Yeah. I mean, if you don't have ADHD

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and you take a stimulant, then, yeah, that might cause you anxiety.

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But, yeah, I mean, it, like,

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I'm. The diagnosis was in, the autism diagnosis,

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I think, is the biggest one for me. Not just because it's the newest

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one, but because it just, you know, I'm still processing it

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after it was September 2021 when I got the diagnosis,

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and it's been over a year, and it's like, you know, going through all the

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stages of grief. I think I heard someone on a podcast talk about

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that, which, you know, I'm familiar with because I lost my father. So, like,

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you know, the anger and the bargaining and just,

16:49.800 --> 16:53.512
like, a lot of frustration at the

16:53.576 --> 16:57.456
system of, like, being in therapy since I was

16:57.528 --> 17:01.072
in elementary school, basically. And nobody's seeing it. But again, like,

17:01.096 --> 17:04.656
I grew up in the nineties, and it wasn't a thing. And, like,

17:04.808 --> 17:08.496
there's still a lot of stigma around adhd and

17:08.528 --> 17:12.172
autism and misinformation and the way that

17:12.236 --> 17:15.840
the media portrays it. Like, I can't watch any new

17:16.260 --> 17:20.388
shows or movies that come out that are supposed to be portraying

17:20.484 --> 17:23.796
autistic people because it just,

17:23.828 --> 17:27.124
like, triggers me. Cause I'm like, is this really gonna be accurate?

17:27.172 --> 17:30.604
Or is it gonna be how the stereotypes and,

17:30.652 --> 17:34.068
like, a caricature? Right? Yeah. And, you know,

17:34.124 --> 17:38.080
and I talk about this with my therapist a lot. Cause I talk about

17:38.400 --> 17:41.664
my experiences online, but there's so much

17:41.752 --> 17:44.720
misinformation out there that sometimes I feel like I'm just, like,

17:44.760 --> 17:48.416
screaming into a void. Like, there's so many people who are spreading the

17:48.448 --> 17:52.736
wrong information that it's impossible to, like, it feels

17:52.768 --> 17:56.720
impossible to get all the right information out there.

17:56.880 --> 18:00.744
But, I mean, it was through following people like myself that

18:00.792 --> 18:04.880
write about these things and, you know, show what their life is like that

18:04.920 --> 18:07.760
I was able to realize that, yeah, that's how I am. And,

18:07.800 --> 18:11.464
like, because I feel like there's two different sides of it. It's like

18:11.512 --> 18:15.408
doctors and parents of autistic or neurodivergent

18:15.504 --> 18:19.568
children witnessing behavior and explaining it

18:19.704 --> 18:24.056
that way. And then the actually autistic people who are

18:24.208 --> 18:27.424
talking about how it actually feels to be autistic,

18:27.512 --> 18:31.096
and it's just a lifetime for me of

18:31.128 --> 18:33.944
people telling me how my brain worked and how,

18:34.072 --> 18:38.044
like, I felt about things. Things when I.

18:38.172 --> 18:41.116
And I felt like I didn't have a voice. Like, I just.

18:41.308 --> 18:45.012
Nobody believed what I was saying was what

18:45.036 --> 18:48.684
I was actually feeling. It was all just, oh, you're too dramatic and

18:48.732 --> 18:52.172
sensitive and, like, you're wrong about everything.

18:52.276 --> 18:56.500
And it gave me a lot of self doubt. And I guess the diagnosis,

18:56.660 --> 19:00.660
just processing it over the last couple of years has

19:00.700 --> 19:05.318
helped me really start to have more confidence

19:05.454 --> 19:08.918
in my voice and myself. And I still struggle a

19:08.934 --> 19:12.382
lot with imposter syndrome. That's, like, one of my biggest things.

19:12.526 --> 19:16.130
But it was really great to get a diagnosis

19:16.430 --> 19:19.934
or just know in general, because it's helped me

19:20.102 --> 19:24.366
figure out who I am. And that's the issue with a lot of

19:24.518 --> 19:27.878
people who are late diagnosed, specifically women, because we do such a

19:27.894 --> 19:32.730
good job of masking it and taking on others personalities,

19:33.250 --> 19:36.378
you know, just copying what we see that, like,

19:36.514 --> 19:39.546
you don't know who you are when you finally get the diagnosis. Like, if this

19:39.578 --> 19:43.914
isn't who I was, then, like, how do I figure that out?

19:44.042 --> 19:47.442
And, yeah, it's still hard. It's like, there's this,

19:47.586 --> 19:51.450
like, notion that once you get the diagnosis, you can unmask

19:51.490 --> 19:54.970
and, like, everything will be great and you can just be yourself.

19:55.050 --> 19:58.778
But, like, the thing with being late diagnosed is that all

19:58.794 --> 20:02.272
the people in your life who already know you, they start to

20:02.336 --> 20:06.016
act like you're being completely different when really you're just being yourself or,

20:06.048 --> 20:09.552
like, they just don't understand and they still expect you to

20:09.616 --> 20:13.072
do the things that you used to do for you. Realize that

20:13.096 --> 20:16.936
you couldn't, so. And that you had a reason that you couldn't. It wasn't

20:16.968 --> 20:20.992
just you being lazy or, like, there's nothing wrong with you or.

20:21.176 --> 20:24.920
Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, it's like you're saying it's hard to

20:24.960 --> 20:29.800
sustain that masking. Right. Like, it takes a lot of energy to

20:30.260 --> 20:33.492
fit in and show up

20:33.516 --> 20:35.840
the way people expect you to show up.

20:36.940 --> 20:40.652
And sometimes that. And not sometimes. I mean, that's such a

20:40.676 --> 20:44.356
waste of energy because it's about understanding.

20:44.388 --> 20:47.876
Yeah. How you're different. I mean, when you say that, I mean, I had that

20:47.908 --> 20:51.220
same feeling when I got diagnosed because I also got diagnosed later in life.

20:51.260 --> 20:54.580
And there is that process of, like, oh, God,

20:54.660 --> 20:58.804
I wouldn't have had to go through the certain struggles because

20:58.972 --> 21:02.620
I just thought I wasn't good enough. Or like that.

21:02.660 --> 21:06.492
Yeah. You get told you're lazy or you feel like a failure about stuff and,

21:06.516 --> 21:09.604
like, why is this so hard for me? There's something wrong with me.

21:09.732 --> 21:12.940
And then there's this idea of, like, after getting diagnosed,

21:13.020 --> 21:16.204
for me, it was like, oh, my gosh. Like, there isn't something

21:16.292 --> 21:19.628
wrong with me. It's just my brain works different. So there is a

21:19.644 --> 21:23.520
lot of self acceptance and confidence because that's part of.

21:23.870 --> 21:27.342
Yeah, my process, too, is, like, now I can trust my

21:27.366 --> 21:30.750
voice. Whereas before you always kind of question, like, what's there

21:30.790 --> 21:34.590
must be something wrong? Like, what am I doing? Like, how do I fix this?

21:34.750 --> 21:38.222
And then, you know, there's. There's both the acceptance piece

21:38.246 --> 21:41.534
and building confidence and, like you said, figuring out who you are,

21:41.622 --> 21:45.102
who you really are. And there's a lot of good stuff, but then

21:45.126 --> 21:48.046
there's also the piece of acceptance of. Yeah,

21:48.078 --> 21:51.790
I'm not going to fit in to, like, certain standards

21:51.870 --> 21:55.182
because my brain does work differently, which is okay.

21:55.246 --> 21:58.798
Like. But again, some people have a problem with that.

21:58.854 --> 22:02.294
Right? They're still going to have a problem with it. They still look, they still

22:02.342 --> 22:05.638
judge it. There's still, like, a pejorative way that they talk

22:05.694 --> 22:09.486
about it. Right. And then, yeah, the number of people, too with autism who think

22:09.518 --> 22:12.286
they know more about it than you do, that tell you, oh, no, you're not

22:12.318 --> 22:15.690
autistic or, like, you must be high functioning, or, like, you don't.

22:15.790 --> 22:19.490
Like, you don't know. That's really

22:19.530 --> 22:23.298
the hardest part about the misinformation out there, is that people believe

22:23.354 --> 22:26.350
a lot of things about ADHD, too, and OCD,

22:26.970 --> 22:29.898
but it's just like,

22:29.954 --> 22:33.586
battling other people's perceptions of

22:33.618 --> 22:37.322
you. And at least with autism, it's like, I never know what

22:37.346 --> 22:41.306
to expect in a social situation or

22:41.338 --> 22:44.834
what people expect of me. So trying to do everything just right and be

22:44.882 --> 22:47.910
like, people pleasing is just as exhausting.

22:48.270 --> 22:51.742
So, yeah, it's definitely a

22:51.766 --> 22:55.118
process. And, I mean, I'm still, like, I can't say that

22:55.134 --> 22:58.830
I'm completely accepting of my brain. I think I said to you the other day

22:58.870 --> 23:02.606
that my word for 2023 is acceptance.

23:02.758 --> 23:06.326
Like, sometimes I'm just like, why can't I do this? I should

23:06.358 --> 23:09.518
be able to do this. And then it takes a minute, but it's like my

23:09.534 --> 23:12.910
brain is learning. Like, oh, wait, it's your brain. Like,

23:12.950 --> 23:16.922
you're. It's just something my brain is doing, and I

23:16.946 --> 23:20.042
can't really control it. I mean, I can control

23:20.106 --> 23:23.514
how I react to it and my, like, energy management and all that,

23:23.562 --> 23:26.882
but, like, it's not my fault.

23:27.066 --> 23:30.538
And I think that that's the other, you know, downside of

23:30.554 --> 23:34.482
being late diagnosis that you have. Well, for me, I had 35 years

23:34.506 --> 23:38.634
of people telling me I was doing things wrong and not believing

23:38.682 --> 23:42.034
that I just couldn't do things the way that other people

23:42.082 --> 23:45.622
were doing them and that I was just, you know, being, you know,

23:45.786 --> 23:49.334
lazy or just not doing things because I didn't want to do them.

23:49.382 --> 23:52.342
And, like. Like, it was a choice, and it's not.

23:52.406 --> 23:56.774
It's not a choice. Like, that's just how my brain works.

23:56.942 --> 24:00.350
Yeah. That's the thing of, like, unlearning. That does take time.

24:00.390 --> 24:03.638
I mean, that's a process. You know, just like, the grieving process.

24:03.734 --> 24:07.086
It's going to take time for that to change. Like, it didn't happen overnight.

24:07.118 --> 24:10.662
It's not going to change overnight. But I do think when

24:10.686 --> 24:14.630
you. When you mentioned, like, talking to other people who are autistic

24:14.670 --> 24:18.166
and them telling you, no, you're not, I think that's

24:18.238 --> 24:22.142
also the issue, is not understanding just how different

24:22.206 --> 24:25.622
it shows up and that people can see something externally. Like you said, they see

24:25.646 --> 24:28.810
the behavior, they see the way they look at you and make.

24:29.110 --> 24:32.326
They have an assumption or observation of how you're being in the world.

24:32.438 --> 24:36.022
But it's, our internal experience is really the

24:36.046 --> 24:39.386
big piece. Right. Because there's also, like, I still think we do

24:39.458 --> 24:42.778
some, you know, type of masking, and it

24:42.794 --> 24:46.138
is hard because we're constantly getting that, you know, I even.

24:46.234 --> 24:49.906
I get that from people who I know respect me and will still say really

24:49.978 --> 24:53.362
negative things about people with ADHD. Or, like, they kind of go on

24:53.386 --> 24:56.346
event session, you know, even with clients where I'm like,

24:56.378 --> 25:00.090
okay, that's how your spouse's ADHD shows up.

25:00.130 --> 25:03.522
Just so you know, not everybody with ADHD does that

25:03.586 --> 25:07.240
x behavior. Right? Like. Like, understanding that

25:07.280 --> 25:11.072
is hard. It's really hard. Yeah. And, you know,

25:11.096 --> 25:14.808
it's never the neurodivergent people who could question it. It's always the

25:14.824 --> 25:18.416
people who aren't or don't realize they're neurodivergent

25:18.448 --> 25:21.232
yet that kind of have a resistance to it.

25:21.256 --> 25:25.112
Like, I share this meme a lot, and it's like somebody

25:25.216 --> 25:28.416
telling, like, a neurotypical person, like, I'm autistic.

25:28.448 --> 25:32.274
And they're like, no, you're not. You're nothing like my, like my nephew,

25:32.362 --> 25:36.514
and you're too high functioning. And then, like, it's the same person telling

25:36.642 --> 25:40.090
another autistic person they're autistic. And they're like, we know, like,

25:40.130 --> 25:43.866
you can. It's like, you know, that's why. And then,

25:44.018 --> 25:47.754
you know, it's hard to finding, like, trying to get a diagnosis

25:47.802 --> 25:51.162
because you're like, oh, everyone around me is like, me. This is

25:51.186 --> 25:54.802
just what everybody is like. But it's really just because neurodivergent

25:54.826 --> 25:58.706
people tend to surround themselves with other neurodivergent

25:58.738 --> 26:01.734
people. It's just a natural thing. So it's nothing.

26:01.852 --> 26:06.402
It's not that everybody is neurodivergent. It's that we

26:06.586 --> 26:09.874
tend to find each other. Absolutely.

26:09.962 --> 26:13.546
Yeah. Because I had somebody say that. I've actually heard that a lot lately.

26:13.578 --> 26:17.506
Is people saying like, well, all business owners are neurodivergent. And I was like,

26:17.578 --> 26:21.258
no, everybody's a little autistic.

26:21.314 --> 26:24.562
Like, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, and the

26:24.586 --> 26:28.416
reason that bothers, and I'm not, I usually am not one of those people wherever,

26:28.558 --> 26:32.372
like, when people say, oh, you know, they're kind of getting on a

26:32.396 --> 26:36.444
bandwagon and getting upset about something, I tend to not always

26:36.492 --> 26:39.516
jump. I mean, people do what they want to do. I'm not going to explain

26:39.548 --> 26:43.908
this well, but I was like, oh, hell no. Because you

26:43.964 --> 26:48.180
say that, and everybody who's a business owner who's feeling

26:48.220 --> 26:51.996
distracted or feeling overwhelmed is like, oh, this is how you all feel?

26:52.108 --> 26:55.612
And I'm like, oh, absolutely not. Because I work with plenty of people

26:55.676 --> 26:59.140
who are neurotypical, and the way

26:59.180 --> 27:02.436
that they're able to, like, get back on track and do

27:02.468 --> 27:05.812
things and with a lot more ease or, you know,

27:05.836 --> 27:09.052
with conventional tactics is, I think

27:09.076 --> 27:13.156
it's, it's, it just makes everyone who is really neurodivergent

27:13.188 --> 27:16.588
just feel, like, shittier. Like, see, you just aren't doing it good enough,

27:16.644 --> 27:20.156
which is something we all say to ourselves, right? Like, I still

27:20.188 --> 27:23.678
say it and I know better, but I'll go if I just did it better,

27:23.774 --> 27:27.238
right? Like, that's one thing I hear from, like, every client. If I just did

27:27.254 --> 27:30.790
it better, I would have been able to, you know, if I, if I didn't

27:30.830 --> 27:34.406
waste as much time, if I worked harder, if I really wanted it, I would

27:34.438 --> 27:37.982
get it. And I, like, I hate that mentality that you

27:38.006 --> 27:41.486
can just get and you can do anything if you push your mind to it.

27:41.518 --> 27:45.006
Because, like, my mind does try to do things, and then it's

27:45.038 --> 27:48.846
like, no, you can't do that. Like, it doesn't. It doesn't work that

27:48.878 --> 27:52.566
way. Like, yeah, we have to figure out other strategies. And I think that's

27:52.598 --> 27:57.690
the thing is understanding that. And, and even, like you said, that stigma

27:57.770 --> 28:01.146
of, uh, just this last, like, couple weeks have

28:01.178 --> 28:04.146
been really rough for me. And so then it's like, well,

28:04.178 --> 28:07.690
I'm teaching people how to function and do better and have systems,

28:07.730 --> 28:11.146
and I'm like, yes, but it's. I can't expect that I'm never

28:11.178 --> 28:14.602
going to have these challenges. But then you're like, oh, but do people think I'm

28:14.626 --> 28:18.402
not on top of my shit? You know? Like, so there's that worry about that.

28:18.506 --> 28:22.198
But I just had, like, big things come up wherever. I had to

28:22.214 --> 28:25.534
pay an extra $1,000 for my life insurance

28:25.662 --> 28:29.246
policy because I didn't catch the. It's probably

28:29.278 --> 28:33.382
in a pile. The letter that said, oh, your policy is ending.

28:33.486 --> 28:36.934
You either have to convert it or you're going to now pay $400 a

28:36.942 --> 28:38.690
month. And then, of course,

28:39.870 --> 28:44.030
yeah, the ADHD tax, I was like, fuck me another one.

28:44.110 --> 28:46.918
I keep saying, like, God, wouldn't it be great to have one year without an

28:46.934 --> 28:49.910
ADHD tax? And it's always expensive, right?

28:50.070 --> 28:53.150
And so, yeah, it's hard. I think that's,

28:53.190 --> 28:57.062
like, the struggle with, like, working for yourself, too, because it's

28:57.086 --> 29:00.470
like a push and pull. Like, I love the flexibility of it, and I

29:00.510 --> 29:04.022
can't work for other people. Like, there's no way. But then having

29:04.086 --> 29:07.406
to, like, juggle all of that stuff, too.

29:07.478 --> 29:11.086
And, you know, sometimes you can outsource it, but other times you're,

29:11.118 --> 29:14.262
like, you're doing everything. And people who work

29:14.286 --> 29:17.552
at, like, a, you know, a job with our company,

29:17.616 --> 29:21.780
with a team, like, they have separate departments for all these things. And then

29:22.320 --> 29:26.568
people who are neurodivergent have executive functioning issues anyway,

29:26.664 --> 29:30.096
and having to do all of these things just

29:30.168 --> 29:33.968
isn't natural. And finding

29:34.064 --> 29:37.904
the right support is hard, too. So even if you have some, I think

29:37.912 --> 29:41.352
it's different. Like, like you're saying even when we work at a company, I mean,

29:41.376 --> 29:45.168
I know everyone's working from home now. It feels like. But we have

29:45.224 --> 29:48.422
other people that are supporting us in a full

29:48.486 --> 29:52.446
time way, whereas entrepreneurs, even if you have a team, it generally isn't

29:52.518 --> 29:55.726
at that level. Right? Yeah, I mean, there are people who

29:55.758 --> 29:58.814
do, but. And so it's. It's hard. I mean, this,

29:58.902 --> 30:01.926
you know, I appreciate you talking about it because I think

30:01.958 --> 30:05.590
it is a process of, you know, dealing with people

30:05.750 --> 30:09.614
still having stigma. Even people around you, like, questioning things

30:09.702 --> 30:13.174
and then also knowing, like, you, like, all these

30:13.222 --> 30:17.424
challenges and struggles you had all these years could have been alleviated

30:17.472 --> 30:20.544
sooner if somebody had just known. Yeah.

30:20.592 --> 30:24.752
And understanding it is a spectrum. Right? Like, that's the whole thing of it's

30:24.776 --> 30:28.232
so hard because when you say, oh, well, autistic people,

30:28.336 --> 30:31.608
if to say that they're not, what was the word they.

30:31.704 --> 30:34.848
They said? Compassionate or empathetic. Empathetic. Yeah,

30:34.864 --> 30:38.272
I don't have empathy. A lot of autistic people,

30:38.336 --> 30:41.136
especially women, are like, very, like,

30:41.208 --> 30:44.168
hypo. Hypo or hyper. Yeah, hyper.

30:44.264 --> 30:47.628
Yeah, like, that's me. Like, I feel everything. Like, that's.

30:47.664 --> 30:51.492
Yes. You know, I see. And that's my experience of so

30:51.556 --> 30:55.276
many people. Like, even I've talked about my son having traits

30:55.348 --> 30:58.564
like, whether or not he has the full diagnosis. I see that.

30:58.612 --> 31:02.040
I see that sensitivity, but, yeah, we see that one

31:02.980 --> 31:06.244
version and we think that's what it always looks like, right?

31:06.292 --> 31:10.116
Definitely. Yeah. You see the, like, the media like portrayals

31:10.148 --> 31:13.340
of it and. Or. Yeah, even like me.

31:13.420 --> 31:16.580
I mean, my nephew has ADHD and he's autistic. And I was like,

31:16.700 --> 31:20.476
you know, that's. That's for him. That's his diagnosis. It's not

31:20.508 --> 31:23.956
mine. And then I was like, wait a minute. I. Like, my nephew is

31:24.028 --> 31:27.524
obviously 13, and he was younger than that when he was diagnosed,

31:27.572 --> 31:30.996
but, like, I relate to him a lot more than I relate

31:31.028 --> 31:34.588
to other little kids. Like, you know, it's weird.

31:34.684 --> 31:37.320
Yeah, but yeah,

31:38.140 --> 31:41.348
I'm sorry you touched on. And I want to talk about like,

31:41.404 --> 31:45.156
how, how does having your set

31:45.188 --> 31:49.068
of neurodivergent traits and diagnoses,

31:49.164 --> 31:51.960
how does that impact the way that you do business?

31:53.300 --> 31:56.972
It impacts it a lot. And I'm fortunate to be

31:56.996 --> 32:01.332
able to work for myself and have such flexibility

32:01.476 --> 32:05.364
around it. I have multiple income streams. I don't just rely

32:05.532 --> 32:09.410
on one. Not just my, in writing or

32:09.910 --> 32:12.806
I do affiliate work. I do, like,

32:12.918 --> 32:16.238
I sell products. Like, I would get bored, I think, if I had

32:16.254 --> 32:19.590
to do one thing. But that's where my ADHD

32:19.670 --> 32:23.486
and autism, I think hash because, like, I need

32:23.558 --> 32:27.222
structure to in my days if that's

32:27.246 --> 32:31.014
why, like, when I go away and come back on vacation, like, my routine

32:31.062 --> 32:34.366
is just messed up for weeks. Like, it really takes me out of

32:34.398 --> 32:37.950
things and can't get back into it and I need like flexible

32:37.990 --> 32:41.806
deadlines. But I also, my ADHD is like, I don't want to do the same

32:41.838 --> 32:44.966
thing every single day. I want to do something different. So that helps

32:44.998 --> 32:48.502
that I can, you know, vary it. But then

32:48.526 --> 32:52.382
I also have some of the demand avoidance with the autism where like,

32:52.486 --> 32:55.734
even if it's something that I set to my, if I don't tell anybody else

32:55.782 --> 32:58.518
about it, I'm like, I'm going to go for a walk today. I'll wake up

32:58.534 --> 33:01.966
in the morning and be like, I'm not going for a walk. Like,

33:02.118 --> 33:05.102
you can't tell me what to do. Even if it's me, even if it's something

33:05.166 --> 33:08.932
I want to do, like that, it makes it hard for me to

33:08.996 --> 33:12.268
commit to anything. Like, I do work with a

33:12.284 --> 33:16.108
few really understanding companies that

33:16.164 --> 33:19.320
I'm an affiliate for. Comstrips is one of them.

33:19.700 --> 33:23.108
They're amazing. And I think it's

33:23.124 --> 33:27.480
just a matter of finding the types of people that understand, but it's still,

33:28.140 --> 33:32.044
and then I have the rejection sensitive dysphoria

33:32.092 --> 33:35.492
thing, too. So even if I'm like, doing a good job for them,

33:35.516 --> 33:38.196
if I don't hear from them in a while, I'm like, oh, no, they hate

33:38.228 --> 33:40.956
me. I'm doing a horrible job. And then that's always when,

33:40.988 --> 33:44.524
like, things, opportunities come out of nowhere and I'm like,

33:44.692 --> 33:48.068
what is going on? Like, last year I was like, I'm really dropping the

33:48.084 --> 33:51.476
ball on this, you know, affiliate work. And then they

33:51.508 --> 33:54.892
contacted me and was like, they were like, we want to use one of your,

33:55.076 --> 33:58.620
like, your all worries art for one of our comm strips. And I was like,

33:58.660 --> 34:01.776
what are you talking about? Like, I am a horrible affiliate and like,

34:01.908 --> 34:05.632
meanwhile, I'm their top earning affiliate and

34:05.656 --> 34:08.840
I'm like, I'm not doing anything. What's going on? So I have a lot of

34:08.880 --> 34:12.740
that. A lot of, I feel like, what am I doing?

34:13.480 --> 34:15.540
Nobody's paying attention to this.

34:17.760 --> 34:21.488
I should be doing more. And then you contacted me

34:21.504 --> 34:23.568
and said, you want to be on this podcast? And I was like, what?

34:23.624 --> 34:27.176
I don't know. I'm not an expert. What could I possibly contribute to

34:27.208 --> 34:30.960
this podcast? So, yeah, it's a lot of self doubt and

34:31.120 --> 34:33.860
imposter syndrome and, you know, working,

34:34.440 --> 34:38.048
writing, I love it. I love sharing my

34:38.144 --> 34:41.272
brain with the world, but it is very lonely. Like, you sit there and you

34:41.296 --> 34:45.056
write and you're like, who am I writing to? Like, actually doing it,

34:45.128 --> 34:48.512
it's. And then you have the, like, perfectionism and,

34:48.696 --> 34:51.860
yeah, the energy management and it's just,

34:52.280 --> 34:55.601
it's a lot. So it's a lot of, you know, every day

34:55.625 --> 34:59.449
is different, even though my brain would like it to not be like,

34:59.569 --> 35:02.585
yeah, I, you know, I have the very adhd habit of saying,

35:02.617 --> 35:05.753
okay, today I'm going to write this blog post and then doing every

35:05.801 --> 35:09.345
other thing in the world that I had put off weeks ago. Like,

35:09.377 --> 35:12.457
oh, I can, you know, clean my closet today.

35:12.553 --> 35:16.505
I said I was going to do that last weekend. I didn't

35:16.537 --> 35:19.097
do that last weekend because I was mad that I told myself I was going

35:19.113 --> 35:22.143
to do it last weekend. So I'll just do that. So everything is just like,

35:22.281 --> 35:26.836
you just push everything ahead a little bit, but that makes it hard to promise

35:26.948 --> 35:30.140
people things. And there's a lot of guilt with that.

35:30.220 --> 35:34.236
And that's why I think one of the reasons why I can't work

35:34.268 --> 35:37.700
for other people, because the pressure of people depending on me for

35:37.740 --> 35:41.108
things is when my brain isn't consistent,

35:41.284 --> 35:44.604
I just can't deal with it. And also the energy

35:44.692 --> 35:49.470
that it takes out of me to socialize with people, read behaviors

35:49.510 --> 35:52.158
and office setting and all that.

35:52.214 --> 35:55.126
So I don't know if that answered your question.

35:55.198 --> 35:58.838
Absolutely it did. I mean, I know that somebody listening is going

35:58.854 --> 36:02.846
to see themselves in that so much. And, you know,

36:03.038 --> 36:06.262
especially that challenge. Like you said, of those two diagnoses,

36:06.326 --> 36:09.942
they often do have, like, competing, like,

36:10.086 --> 36:13.766
desires. Right. And, or preferences

36:13.798 --> 36:16.894
of, of ways that you need things to operate,

36:16.982 --> 36:20.534
to feel calm or to feel good. And so that's

36:20.582 --> 36:23.662
hard, right. It's. And so many people.

36:23.806 --> 36:27.010
I mean, I can identify with the ADHD part of it. When you say,

36:27.430 --> 36:30.334
you know, when I talk to people about, like, getting things done or, like,

36:30.382 --> 36:33.726
strategies of achieving things, it's that same thing of,

36:33.798 --> 36:36.838
like, sometimes we have to ride the wave, like you said. Oh, I was supposed

36:36.894 --> 36:40.526
to, you know, supposed to quote unquote, clean out my closet last

36:40.558 --> 36:43.838
weekend, but now that I have this blog post to write, now I want to

36:43.854 --> 36:47.342
clean my closet. And there are times where I'm like, okay,

36:47.366 --> 36:51.158
no, nope, nope. Amber, you're not allowed to not focus on

36:51.174 --> 36:54.894
this thing. And then enough time goes by, and I'm like, okay,

36:54.982 --> 36:58.174
obviously that desire is not going away. That pressure of,

36:58.222 --> 37:01.798
like, my mind keeps going. Like, I can't focus, so then I just have

37:01.814 --> 37:05.198
to kind of give into it and then figure out and reprioritize.

37:05.294 --> 37:09.558
Right? Yeah. I mean, and a good example, too, of the energy management one was

37:09.654 --> 37:13.262
the other day when I was on your. The goal planning workshop

37:13.366 --> 37:16.590
at 03:00 I was just, you know, done.

37:16.670 --> 37:20.470
Like, I couldn't focus anymore. And it wasn't just the ADHD, it was the

37:20.510 --> 37:23.662
socializing. And, you know, everything else I had

37:23.686 --> 37:27.130
done that day, I, for before I was diagnosed, like,

37:27.470 --> 37:31.010
I didn't understand that, why I couldn't do

37:31.470 --> 37:35.324
multiple things in a day. And now that I know I'm autistic,

37:35.502 --> 37:39.336
I realize that everything that's outside my house and even

37:39.368 --> 37:42.800
some things inside my house, but everything driving, going to the grocery store,

37:42.840 --> 37:45.784
even if I'm not talking to the person, it's a social interaction,

37:45.832 --> 37:49.272
and that drains me. And I love being around people. Like,

37:49.296 --> 37:52.520
I'm not. I am an introvert, but I am a social.

37:52.640 --> 37:56.100
And that's the other thing. My mom was like, but you're social.

37:56.440 --> 38:00.248
You're not an introvert. You have lots of friends. I'm like, okay, but you

38:00.264 --> 38:04.158
don't see behind the scenes how much time I need to recover from anything

38:04.214 --> 38:07.998
like that. Like text messages. I have my phone on do not disturb all

38:08.054 --> 38:11.222
day. I often miss really important messages because

38:11.366 --> 38:15.078
text messages really stress me out. And I know a lot of people, especially in

38:15.094 --> 38:18.974
my generation, love texting. And I'm like, for me, I just opened a

38:19.022 --> 38:22.134
text message, and it could be just, like, a meme, or it

38:22.142 --> 38:25.302
could be someone sending me paragraphs of text with no greeting,

38:25.366 --> 38:28.428
being like, oh, this horrible thing happened to me. And it's like,

38:28.614 --> 38:32.040
oh, like, I can't. That affects my energy,

38:32.120 --> 38:35.640
too. It's like, you know, so I do have to,

38:35.680 --> 38:40.344
like, manage my energy and be very selective

38:40.392 --> 38:43.780
with how I use my time. And who I let in,

38:44.200 --> 38:47.816
and that's a big part of it. And, you know, I do use,

38:47.848 --> 38:51.320
like, my focus apps on my phone, but I also have an app called

38:51.400 --> 38:54.992
Freedom where it actually blocks out social

38:55.056 --> 38:58.736
media. Like, you can't go on the websites, and you can block out all these

38:58.768 --> 39:02.122
different websites. But, yeah, just in, like, you know,

39:02.186 --> 39:05.770
context switching and task switching is really hard. So, like,

39:05.810 --> 39:09.242
Jeff, my husband, knows not to interrupt me if I'm in the middle

39:09.266 --> 39:12.190
of doing something or, like. But yeah,

39:13.170 --> 39:17.194
it's a struggle for sure. But, like, I couldn't.

39:17.282 --> 39:21.178
I couldn't go back to a regular, regular, quote job,

39:21.354 --> 39:25.042
like, and I've realized that about myself. I tried. I went to. I worked

39:25.066 --> 39:28.810
in offices and coffee shops and retail, and it

39:28.850 --> 39:32.710
always completely set me into burnout and

39:33.170 --> 39:36.986
depression and blogging and writing

39:37.178 --> 39:41.070
and doing this type of thing where I'm talking to people who have similar

39:41.570 --> 39:45.546
interests and do similar things or similarly creative.

39:45.738 --> 39:48.378
That is a big motivator,

39:48.434 --> 39:51.682
too, even though I'm here alone for

39:51.706 --> 39:54.910
the most part in my office. But,

39:55.070 --> 39:59.326
yeah. And so did. I mean, did knowing once

39:59.358 --> 40:03.046
you figured this out, once you're like, okay, I have ADHD

40:03.078 --> 40:06.702
and autism and OCD. So this is why all

40:06.726 --> 40:11.414
of that stuff, the task switching, the interaction,

40:11.502 --> 40:15.838
the socializing, that's why I feel so exhausted. Did it make it easier

40:15.934 --> 40:19.638
to allow yourself to say no to things? 100%.

40:19.734 --> 40:23.318
And I have had, you know, for the most part, people have been understanding,

40:23.374 --> 40:27.068
especially. So I think lockdown is the reason I

40:27.084 --> 40:30.684
realized I was autistic, because all of the pressure went away. It was like,

40:30.732 --> 40:34.460
you don't have to go anywhere. Like, you have a built in

40:34.500 --> 40:38.676
excuse, whereas, like, I was always saying yes to things

40:38.788 --> 40:42.460
because I thought I had to, or, like, people would be mad at me,

40:42.540 --> 40:45.876
or, like, it would be rude to not do something or like.

40:46.028 --> 40:49.996
And, you know, Jeff has a very public facing job with

40:50.028 --> 40:53.622
lots of events, and before the pandemic, I would

40:53.646 --> 40:56.798
go to all of them, and it would just be exhausting.

40:56.854 --> 41:00.286
I mean, before the pandemic, I even did, like, insta meetups,

41:00.318 --> 41:04.518
where I socialized with lots of people on Instagram. Most of my friends,

41:04.694 --> 41:07.582
even Jeff, I've met online. I met him on MySpace.

41:07.726 --> 41:11.694
So that's why

41:11.742 --> 41:15.710
I get really upset when people criticize social media, because I'm like, people like me.

41:15.750 --> 41:19.812
This is how we are able to form relationships, and they're most comfortable.

41:19.956 --> 41:23.060
But, yeah, I would have, like, meetups,

41:23.100 --> 41:26.812
blogger meetups, and Instagram meetups, and I would love it, but I

41:26.876 --> 41:29.924
would drain me for days. So like, the pandemic, like,

41:29.972 --> 41:33.380
kind of gave me a break from having to wear

41:33.420 --> 41:36.964
that mask all the time and gave me more space

41:37.012 --> 41:40.500
at home alone. And, like, I. I don't

41:40.540 --> 41:43.652
miss it because I, you know, I don't.

41:43.716 --> 41:47.194
I wish Covid never happened, but I do miss everybody

41:47.242 --> 41:50.922
having to stay home and having that built in excuse.

41:50.986 --> 41:53.802
And the outside pressure was just, like,

41:53.906 --> 41:57.170
completely gone. And I think that's, like, when I first

41:57.210 --> 42:01.498
started seeing my psychiatrist who put me on ADHD medicine,

42:01.674 --> 42:05.138
she'd only known my personality in lockdown. And I

42:05.154 --> 42:08.586
think that's. And she said this, too, because I still see her,

42:08.618 --> 42:11.992
but she said that's probably the reason. Like, she was.

42:12.146 --> 42:15.212
At first, she was like, no, you're not autistic. Because she didn't see the,

42:15.236 --> 42:17.524
like, the social phobia and, like,

42:17.652 --> 42:21.388
that. Like, my energy and training from

42:21.444 --> 42:24.916
things and how, like, socially awkward I feel and,

42:24.948 --> 42:28.636
like, how hard it is for me to do everyday

42:28.708 --> 42:32.316
things that people are supposed to be able to do. And,

42:32.348 --> 42:35.468
like, I'm still hard on myself, too. I'm like, I'm 35. Why can't I

42:35.484 --> 42:38.252
do these things? And I give a lot more grace to people,

42:38.396 --> 42:42.040
everybody else. I always do. Right?

42:42.830 --> 42:46.206
Yeah. So, yeah, I don't remember your question.

42:46.318 --> 42:49.358
No, you're answering it perfectly. And I think, you know, I just want

42:49.374 --> 42:52.974
to highlight that because you said I really,

42:53.022 --> 42:55.830
I should. Normally, I write down words to remember to come back to them,

42:55.870 --> 42:59.526
and I keep thinking I'm going to remember because there's so much good stuff

42:59.558 --> 43:02.518
in what you said. Adhd thing. Yeah, exactly.

43:02.614 --> 43:06.102
Remember that. I don't need to remember that. No, I am usually in

43:06.126 --> 43:09.630
that habit. But first, I'm like. I mean, I'm, like, really into

43:09.670 --> 43:13.456
what you're saying. So that's why. Probably. But. But it's. I think it is

43:13.488 --> 43:16.960
important because, like you said. Well, one, I want to touch on the social thing,

43:17.040 --> 43:20.192
uh, being an extrovert. Introvert. Because I hear this all the time and I find

43:20.216 --> 43:23.960
it really frustrating. I'm like, introversion. And extroversion

43:24.040 --> 43:27.680
is about how you recharge your batteries. It's not about being

43:27.720 --> 43:31.976
social or not. And I wish people would really understand that because they

43:32.008 --> 43:35.392
kind of confuse, like, not, you know. Yes, there are

43:35.416 --> 43:38.352
people who are. I have plenty of friends who are introverted,

43:38.376 --> 43:40.248
and they're like, yeah, I don't want to leave my house. I don't want to

43:40.264 --> 43:43.254
do that thing. I want to, like, I like to. They like to be with

43:43.302 --> 43:46.570
just their people. Right. Like, usually that's the case,

43:46.910 --> 43:50.174
but it's about that recharging. You can be a very social person,

43:50.222 --> 43:54.046
which is, again, and when people don't understand, oh, you're an introvert, like, not me,

43:54.078 --> 43:57.670
but other people, like, you're an introvert because you're so social. Or, you know,

43:57.710 --> 44:00.710
how can you be autistic? Because you know, this and that.

44:00.830 --> 44:04.422
And there is overlap, too. When you talked about,

44:04.606 --> 44:08.198
like, there is social anxiety and then there is introversion,

44:08.254 --> 44:11.630
which also can make being in, being with people draining.

44:11.790 --> 44:15.554
And I think, though, that's still very different than being autistic

44:15.682 --> 44:20.082
because there's that transition time like you talked about and,

44:20.186 --> 44:23.698
and I think there's an extra layer of, like,

44:23.794 --> 44:26.706
like, trying to figure out and read people. Right?

44:26.778 --> 44:30.642
Yeah, I think, yeah, that's, so that's the thing that really kind of,

44:30.826 --> 44:34.514
I struggled with, like, is it just social anxiety or.

44:34.642 --> 44:38.330
And why is it social anxiety? Like, why? And because, you know, you interrupt

44:38.370 --> 44:41.682
people when you have ADHD because you're excited to talk, and you

44:41.706 --> 44:44.986
also interrupt people when you're autistic because you don't

44:45.058 --> 44:48.826
know that the proper place to enter the

44:48.858 --> 44:51.922
conversation. And I have both of those things.

44:51.986 --> 44:55.506
Like, I, whenever I do have had to have a call with

44:55.538 --> 44:58.938
people, I always say, we need to do a video call because I

44:58.954 --> 45:01.994
need to be able to see your face. I need to be able to know

45:02.042 --> 45:05.914
when you're pausing so I can enter a conversation. I'm really bad

45:05.962 --> 45:09.258
with that, but I also get excited and I'm like, oh, no, I'm going to

45:09.274 --> 45:11.914
forget this thing I was going to say if I don't say it right now.

45:11.962 --> 45:15.144
So that's why it's kind of hard to, you know,

45:15.272 --> 45:18.624
tell the difference. And, you know, especially with people and women who

45:18.632 --> 45:22.560
are late diagnosed, the social anxiety is a result of

45:22.600 --> 45:26.160
being autistic and doing things wrong, like, in school

45:26.320 --> 45:29.504
and, like, not wanting to stand out too much

45:29.552 --> 45:32.656
because you've been made fun of or you've been, you know,

45:32.808 --> 45:36.136
disciplined for doing things the wrong way when you don't know what you're

45:36.168 --> 45:39.140
doing wrong. Like, you just don't understand.

45:40.040 --> 45:43.656
So we're like, you know, asking. I posted something about this

45:43.688 --> 45:46.688
this morning. This is the thing with me all the time. Like, I will ask

45:46.744 --> 45:50.632
questions. I'm very curious. And when

45:50.656 --> 45:53.688
I say something that I like, if I ask a question,

45:53.784 --> 45:56.992
that's all it is. It's me asking a question. And a lot of

45:57.016 --> 46:00.424
times people get defensive, like I'm questioning them,

46:00.472 --> 46:04.400
like, what's going on? Like, or you're

46:04.440 --> 46:07.568
insinuating something. Right? Like by out, you're leading

46:07.624 --> 46:11.280
somewhere because you have a thought about something. Yeah. And the other

46:11.320 --> 46:14.420
thing about being like, yes, I am autistic.

46:14.500 --> 46:18.000
I have social anxiety. I'm bad at conversations,

46:18.740 --> 46:21.884
like, unscripted conversations out of nowhere.

46:22.012 --> 46:25.700
But I also went to school for journalism and was a reporter

46:25.740 --> 46:30.560
because I am very blunt and I will ask people questions

46:30.860 --> 46:34.236
if I want to know them. Even if you think it's inappropriate and that's,

46:34.268 --> 46:38.204
like, a clash, too. It's like, how could you possibly

46:38.292 --> 46:41.700
be autistic? You were able to go up to strangers and ask them questions

46:41.740 --> 46:44.576
about their lives. And, like, that's because it was my job. Like,

46:44.608 --> 46:47.888
I had that frame. I could say, I'm a reporter.

46:47.944 --> 46:51.832
This is why I'm asking you this question, where, like, you can't just randomly

46:51.856 --> 46:55.408
go off to people usually, and be like, tell me everything. Although people

46:55.464 --> 46:59.260
do tend to tell me things out of nowhere, even if I don't know them.

47:00.640 --> 47:03.752
I think we all get that, right? That's neurodivergent people.

47:03.896 --> 47:07.024
But in a way, I think that, you know, and again,

47:07.152 --> 47:11.080
not to make generalizations, but when I think about a lot of people I

47:11.120 --> 47:14.728
know or have worked with that are autistic because.

47:14.864 --> 47:16.860
Because there is no,

47:17.280 --> 47:21.152
like, malice in what they're asking. Or it's

47:21.176 --> 47:25.240
like, curiosity. Or, like, this is why I'm doing this, because it's.

47:25.360 --> 47:28.672
This is my job, or this is what I'm supposed to do.

47:28.816 --> 47:32.528
They're really good at being direct and, like, getting through

47:32.624 --> 47:36.808
things and not worrying about, like, the, you know, the social response.

47:36.864 --> 47:40.240
Right. Yeah. I mean, and that's gotten me in trouble, too. Like, I've said things

47:40.280 --> 47:43.068
that I don't realize are offensive or, like,

47:43.244 --> 47:46.124
you know, and I still don't understand completely. Like, one time,

47:46.172 --> 47:49.420
someone at a job I was working at said that their kid's name

47:49.460 --> 47:52.964
was something, and I said, oh, that's my friend's dog's name. And the other person

47:53.052 --> 47:55.908
was like, oh, my God. Why would you say that? That's so rude. And I'm

47:55.924 --> 47:58.580
like, how is that rude? I'm telling you that they have the same name.

47:58.620 --> 48:02.684
Why don't. Like, I don't understand why that would be rude. Right. You're not

48:02.732 --> 48:05.556
calling their kid a dog. Yeah. Like,

48:05.588 --> 48:08.972
I. That happened once. And ever since,

48:09.036 --> 48:12.714
I've, like, I met someone a couple of years ago whose son

48:12.882 --> 48:16.210
was named Hudson, and I held

48:16.250 --> 48:19.434
it back that my dog's name was Hudson because I didn't want to offend

48:19.482 --> 48:22.666
them. So you learn those things. So I think that's really the

48:22.698 --> 48:27.154
difference between social anxiety and from

48:27.202 --> 48:31.122
just being nervous around people and

48:31.146 --> 48:35.960
then social anxiety because you don't understand social

48:36.620 --> 48:40.196
norms and, like, social niceties and, like, not only

48:40.228 --> 48:43.916
don't understand them, but don't agree with them. Like, I don't. I. You know,

48:43.988 --> 48:47.316
that's not a me problem. I feel like that's a you problem. Like,

48:47.348 --> 48:51.188
well, and I was going to say that as a therapist. Like, I sometimes

48:51.244 --> 48:54.924
think, like, questions like that where you're like, that's actually their

48:55.052 --> 48:58.548
reaction. That's their stuff. That doesn't necessarily

48:58.604 --> 49:02.036
mean that that was inappropriate. Right? Everybody needs therapy,

49:02.068 --> 49:05.364
I think. Yes. And understanding, like,

49:05.452 --> 49:09.236
just because we found something offensive doesn't mean somebody is offensive.

49:09.348 --> 49:11.964
Like, or, you know, or, you know, because it.

49:12.012 --> 49:15.000
Whatever. Although I will say sometimes my ADHD,

49:15.740 --> 49:19.436
I own, like, I think I'm a super empathetic, caring person, obviously,

49:19.468 --> 49:22.820
for what I do for a living. And I also can say the dumbest shit

49:22.860 --> 49:25.932
sometimes. When you said that, it reminded me of my

49:25.956 --> 49:29.576
friend Casey. It was our first time being in

49:29.608 --> 49:33.112
person together at a conference. Gosh, just last

49:33.176 --> 49:36.392
year. It feels like it's. I can't believe how

49:36.416 --> 49:41.100
fast time has gone and how slow. And we were talking and,

49:41.480 --> 49:44.616
oh, I was talking about somebody and I. And I. Now,

49:44.648 --> 49:47.352
I don't want to say the name, but I was like, well,

49:47.376 --> 49:51.464
now we were talking about something and I said, oh, what a horrible

49:51.512 --> 49:54.980
name. That is, like, the worst name ever. Turns out that's her son's name.

49:56.000 --> 49:59.080
I do things like that all the time. Oh, my fucking God. Like,

49:59.120 --> 50:02.512
why? I said that, like, I normally wouldn't, but I just was on a little,

50:02.616 --> 50:06.088
you know, like, I was all blurty and loose and whatever,

50:06.184 --> 50:10.232
and I was, like, stressed out. And it was the first time being in.

50:10.376 --> 50:13.608
Being somewhere in the whole pandemic, really, because I really

50:13.664 --> 50:17.216
didn't go anywhere. And so I was extra excited.

50:17.288 --> 50:19.936
And, you know when you get excited, you get a little extra blurty. And I'm

50:19.968 --> 50:23.196
like, why did I say? And I made a big deal of it. And to

50:23.228 --> 50:27.036
her credit, like, she did not take offense to that at all because she's like,

50:27.108 --> 50:30.372
what? And besides, it's. Even if that's my opinion, that doesn't

50:30.396 --> 50:34.188
make it right. Yeah. I mean, that happens to

50:34.204 --> 50:37.772
me all the time. And I think, like, a lot of people got a taste

50:37.796 --> 50:40.964
of that during, like, coming out of lockdown because they

50:40.972 --> 50:43.900
were like, wait, I don't remember how to be social. And I'm like,

50:43.940 --> 50:47.876
welcome to my life. Or, like, at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was

50:47.908 --> 50:51.530
washing their hands and afraid of, like, getting sick. And I'm like, this is

50:51.570 --> 50:54.970
what my OCD is like all the time. Like, I. You know,

50:55.090 --> 50:58.378
and that's. That's where I get upset sometimes when people are like, everybody's a little

50:58.394 --> 51:01.522
bit ADHD or everybody's a little OCD, or, you know,

51:01.666 --> 51:04.618
people say, I'm so OCD, or. And I'm like, no,

51:04.674 --> 51:08.602
if you're not experiencing these things to the. At the rate that

51:08.626 --> 51:12.442
they're affecting your functioning on a database today.

51:12.586 --> 51:15.792
Oh, my God. Day to day basis, then,

51:15.946 --> 51:19.460
yeah, you might be. Have, like, a quirky trait, but you're not.

51:19.580 --> 51:23.332
It's not the same as having that diagnosis. Yeah, it's not the same.

51:23.396 --> 51:26.652
And it's very minimizing to say. That's exactly.

51:26.716 --> 51:29.420
That was the word I was looking for earlier. It's like, it can be so

51:29.460 --> 51:33.212
minimizing for people. Well, and I want to touch on

51:33.356 --> 51:36.756
this, actually, something I really appreciated about

51:36.788 --> 51:40.148
you, because when you first joined my inner circle

51:40.204 --> 51:44.210
last year and I was giving a training and I was talking about something,

51:44.380 --> 51:47.422
and I always. I'm the person who always says I'm ish. Like,

51:47.446 --> 51:51.078
I always add an ish to things. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm doing,

51:51.214 --> 51:54.846
you know, I'm doing really great, you know, ish. And then I'm like, or something.

51:54.918 --> 51:58.646
I always. There's always, like, that half part, this part of

51:58.678 --> 52:01.838
me, because my brain will always think of an exception or something. You know,

52:01.854 --> 52:06.214
like, my brain's always, like, over working on things. And I had mentioned

52:06.262 --> 52:10.232
being. I said, like, I'm a little OCD or OCD ish,

52:10.406 --> 52:14.452
and during the training or whatever, and then you emailed me

52:14.556 --> 52:18.364
afterwards and, you know, and what I really appreciated is

52:18.412 --> 52:21.716
you asked me. You asked me how I was

52:21.748 --> 52:25.028
using it and kind of expressed what your concern would be that, you know,

52:25.044 --> 52:28.428
if I'm using it in, like, the lay terms, that when somebody says, oh,

52:28.444 --> 52:31.892
I like my house to be neat, I'm OCD. Yeah. And it's very

52:31.956 --> 52:35.180
different. Right. I. One, I just appreciate you.

52:35.300 --> 52:39.128
You. I think it's. So. This is where I think that bluntness

52:39.184 --> 52:42.120
is great. Or maybe it's just the courage,

52:42.200 --> 52:45.384
because you. I would hate for someone to feel

52:45.472 --> 52:48.488
upset about what I said and not tell me because then I don't get a

52:48.504 --> 52:51.100
chance to, like, address it or learn from it.

52:51.480 --> 52:53.936
Also, like, you asked me, that wasn't, like,

52:54.008 --> 52:57.392
anger accusing. It was, like, checking in, and I was like, oh,

52:57.416 --> 53:00.872
no, I actually do believe I've never been formally diagnosed.

53:00.936 --> 53:05.030
But I. I fit the criteria for, like, like, OCPD, which is

53:06.250 --> 53:09.706
obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is more about

53:09.778 --> 53:13.418
having to have certain things, certain ways. Not so much the repetitive behavior

53:13.474 --> 53:17.210
thing, but really about, like, how you need your

53:17.250 --> 53:20.682
environment and your life because it. Because of the level of stress.

53:20.746 --> 53:24.450
So I just want to point that out. I remember being like,

53:24.490 --> 53:27.442
I send it to you, and that's. I think this is another autistic thing because,

53:27.466 --> 53:31.444
like, I hate confrontation because, you know, the socialization thing. And I

53:31.522 --> 53:35.512
RSD. I don't want people to be mad at me, but, like, I can't

53:35.576 --> 53:38.920
not say something like, I got in trouble for this when I was younger.

53:38.960 --> 53:42.680
Like, correcting people, especially with grammar, because I was a big english nerd.

53:42.720 --> 53:47.272
Like, no, that's rude to correct people. Don't say that. I'm like, but you're

53:47.336 --> 53:50.616
wrong about this. And, like, it bothered me

53:50.688 --> 53:54.336
so much that I had to say something. And then as soon as

53:54.368 --> 53:58.008
I did, I was like. I kind of held my breath expecting the person to

53:58.024 --> 54:01.232
be mad at me. And sometimes they were, and other times they reacted like you

54:01.256 --> 54:04.772
did, with understanding. And, you know, and I kind of. I knew how

54:04.796 --> 54:08.308
you were going to react because you're a therapist. So I feel comfortable.

54:08.444 --> 54:12.124
Like, I felt comfortable. I was like, well, you know,

54:12.252 --> 54:16.068
I know, but, like, I. And that's the. I go out

54:16.084 --> 54:20.100
of my way a lot to over explain my

54:20.140 --> 54:23.732
intention because that's the other thing with being autistic,

54:23.756 --> 54:27.800
is that people don't. They assume intention

54:28.260 --> 54:32.060
when really it's just me being like, hey. And, like,

54:32.140 --> 54:35.852
I. You know, I've learned, too. Like, I pick my

54:35.876 --> 54:39.196
battles now. I'm like, okay, is it really worth telling this person that they

54:39.228 --> 54:42.900
used the wrong there in their sentence? Like, they got their message

54:42.940 --> 54:45.924
across? Like, even if they. You know, so,

54:45.972 --> 54:49.244
I mean, I've grown up and. Well, yeah, that's. Is it helpful?

54:49.292 --> 54:53.004
Yeah. Right? Is it helpful? Is it, like, it's bothering

54:53.092 --> 54:56.652
me, but is it really that big of a deal? And, you know,

54:56.756 --> 55:00.550
and. But, I mean, I did feel strongly about that

55:00.710 --> 55:04.870
specifically because I think so.

55:04.990 --> 55:09.126
I definitely emailed that to you after I got my autism diagnosis on.

55:09.198 --> 55:13.254
Like, I still feel very strongly about this. That the way that people use language

55:13.422 --> 55:17.050
and talk about things, like, matters and

55:17.550 --> 55:21.150
it's. Using those terms and labels

55:21.230 --> 55:25.050
incorrectly, is one of the reasons that people

55:25.390 --> 55:29.106
don't get diagnosed or they have. They don't

55:29.138 --> 55:32.650
realize that they're autistic or have OCD because they

55:32.690 --> 55:36.354
think that having OCD means you're like, you lick your

55:36.442 --> 55:40.042
desk a certain way and not that, like, oh, no. If I don't arrange my

55:40.066 --> 55:43.890
desk this way this many times, like, something really bad is going to happen.

55:44.010 --> 55:46.690
And, like. And it's really. I mean,

55:46.810 --> 55:51.018
it's confusing. A lot of the. It's just the misinformation

55:51.074 --> 55:55.204
out there and the fact that a lot of the traits overlap.

55:55.292 --> 55:58.780
Like, I. My therapist. My psychiatrist

55:58.860 --> 56:02.676
really strongly believed that I really loved routine and doing things

56:02.708 --> 56:06.492
on certain days because I had OCD, and they were like, let's do

56:06.556 --> 56:10.812
exposure prevention or exposure

56:10.876 --> 56:14.948
response prevention to help with your OCD and up your meds.

56:15.084 --> 56:19.020
And then when I got to this therapist who had experience with OCD and autism,

56:19.100 --> 56:22.766
she explained the difference in, like, intent. Like,

56:22.918 --> 56:26.214
is this a preference or is this something you have to do because you think

56:26.262 --> 56:29.310
that something bad is going to happen if you don't? So, like,

56:29.470 --> 56:33.210
it's. It's really confusing. So I think people

56:33.950 --> 56:38.090
using those words lightly just adds to the confusion and.

56:38.510 --> 56:42.638
Yeah, and I do, like, I mean, I don't mean mean

56:42.694 --> 56:46.086
to, like, I don't know. I feel like sometimes people think I'm

56:46.158 --> 56:49.344
like, you know, schooling them, and I'm like, no, I'm just, you know,

56:49.392 --> 56:52.712
sharing information, because that's the thing I do. Like, I love. I'm like, oh,

56:52.736 --> 56:57.400
did you know? Like. And people are better.

56:57.440 --> 57:01.216
They don't. That's why. Yeah, that's. Yeah. And that's being an

57:01.248 --> 57:05.432
advocate. Right? Like, I think there is, like you said, there's. For something

57:05.496 --> 57:08.728
that's really important to you. I think it's important to talk about so

57:08.744 --> 57:11.792
that people can learn. But I also think it was your approach, because, I mean,

57:11.816 --> 57:15.234
there are people who just. Just go zero to 100 and

57:15.282 --> 57:19.106
get overreactive, and nobody learns anything from that and nobody takes that

57:19.138 --> 57:22.434
in. Right. And even for me, like, I know how

57:22.482 --> 57:25.642
much words matter. And there's also that

57:25.666 --> 57:29.426
blurty ADHD side of me that, like, once I've,

57:29.458 --> 57:33.050
like, said a word, like, in a context,

57:33.210 --> 57:36.482
it's very hard to stop saying it. Right. Although with

57:36.506 --> 57:40.442
that one, I did. I started qualifying when I would say I'm a little OCD.

57:40.506 --> 57:44.038
I would qualify, like, I actually. And probably OCPD.

57:44.134 --> 57:47.966
And I also have. I call it obsessive ADHD, but Doctor

57:47.998 --> 57:50.990
Amen calls it over focused, which they feel very in alignment.

57:51.030 --> 57:54.950
Right. Like, and so I. I do that to, like, let people know I'm not

57:54.990 --> 57:58.646
saying it in the late, you know, in that lay term. Like, I'm really meaning

57:58.678 --> 58:02.374
it. So that was helpful. That was an easy one. It's, you know,

58:02.502 --> 58:05.462
like, other things that I know. It's important.

58:05.566 --> 58:08.438
And then we also have to realize we're humans and we're still learning. Like,

58:08.534 --> 58:11.582
I still sometimes will be like, that is cray crayo. Like, I'll be. I say

58:11.606 --> 58:14.454
crazy all the time. And I'm like, I am crazy. So I know. I'm like,

58:14.502 --> 58:17.974
but how am I going to stop crazy? That one is so fucking hard.

58:18.062 --> 58:21.150
You guys, like, I'm from New York. I say, you guys, like,

58:21.190 --> 58:23.982
I. And, you know, like, I. You know, my sister in law is trans.

58:24.046 --> 58:27.566
Like, I'm not, you know, saying it to be gendered.

58:27.598 --> 58:30.806
I'm just, you know, that's just how I grew up. And it's hard. And,

58:30.838 --> 58:34.054
like, I'm not saying I'm perfect with that. It was just, you know,

58:34.142 --> 58:37.142
I think that I concentrate on my special interests and,

58:37.166 --> 58:40.248
like, mental illness and, like,

58:40.384 --> 58:43.608
all. Once I find out information about things,

58:43.704 --> 58:47.496
I just assume everybody else knows those things, too,

58:47.648 --> 58:51.008
which is why I'm always surprised when I say something to someone

58:51.064 --> 58:53.832
and they're like, oh, I didn't know that. Like, oh, my God, you know so

58:53.856 --> 58:56.960
much about this. I'm like, no, I don't. Everybody knows this. And, like,

58:57.120 --> 59:00.104
no, I guess they don't. I just, you know. Yeah,

59:00.232 --> 59:03.248
I just. Well, that's part of that. Journalist,

59:03.304 --> 59:07.550
researcher, writer in you, right? Like, you absorb information.

59:07.930 --> 59:11.858
Well, I want to be super mindful of time because we

59:11.874 --> 59:13.870
were going to stop at the top of the hour,

59:14.970 --> 59:18.630
but this was so good. And I think,

59:19.130 --> 59:22.906
I guess maybe the one last thing I want to just touch

59:22.938 --> 59:26.590
on, and I think it's so helpful. So thank you. Because I think

59:27.410 --> 59:31.342
because you do know so much about, you know, your diagnoses and

59:31.366 --> 59:34.670
how it shows up and how thoughtful you are with things, I think this is

59:34.710 --> 59:37.886
going to be really helpful for people to hear and even, like,

59:37.918 --> 59:41.406
the impact it has on your business and kind of your life.

59:41.598 --> 59:45.078
If we could well end on kind of a high note, even though

59:45.094 --> 59:48.454
I feel all of this was really great, what would you say?

59:48.582 --> 59:51.958
Like, your version, your neurodivergent brain,

59:52.094 --> 59:55.798
what would you say a strength is that comes from that either just in

59:55.814 --> 59:59.354
your life or in your business as well? I don't know

59:59.362 --> 01:00:03.218
if it's really because I'm neurodivergent or because I've been

01:00:03.274 --> 01:00:07.186
through so much and gotten so many diagnoses, but I am

01:00:07.218 --> 01:00:10.986
very understanding and compassionate of people

01:00:11.058 --> 01:00:14.442
now. So instead of just because, I mean, I've done that

01:00:14.466 --> 01:00:18.186
thing where I react very badly to things

01:00:18.338 --> 01:00:21.874
in the moment, like emotional dysregulation and say things

01:00:21.922 --> 01:00:26.088
I regret. And now I think I take time to stop

01:00:26.224 --> 01:00:29.480
and think, oh, well, what is the

01:00:29.520 --> 01:00:32.560
reason for this person acting this

01:00:32.600 --> 01:00:35.752
way? Like, why? And I always say, like,

01:00:35.776 --> 01:00:38.304
it's a reason, not an excuse. Like, it doesn't.

01:00:38.432 --> 01:00:41.984
Like, Elon Musk being autistic doesn't

01:00:42.032 --> 01:00:45.520
excuse his behavior. But, I mean, it is a

01:00:45.560 --> 01:00:49.220
reason that he is the way he is in some instances.

01:00:49.640 --> 01:00:52.730
Yeah, I think that. But just, you know,

01:00:53.030 --> 01:00:57.246
understanding a little bit more and being a little bit more compassionate

01:00:57.318 --> 01:01:01.598
about what people might be going through and why they act certain

01:01:01.654 --> 01:01:05.130
ways. So, you know, just observing people's behaviors.

01:01:05.430 --> 01:01:08.734
But then, yeah, I'm also really creative. I have a million

01:01:08.822 --> 01:01:12.170
ideas. I'm very enthusiastic about those ideas.

01:01:12.470 --> 01:01:15.742
And I don't know, I think that even though it's not a

01:01:15.766 --> 01:01:18.700
great thing to brag about, imposter syndrome.

01:01:18.820 --> 01:01:21.956
Syndrome kind of makes me a little bit humble, I guess. So.

01:01:21.988 --> 01:01:25.876
I'm always surprised when good things happen to me by

01:01:25.908 --> 01:01:29.052
business and. Or that people want to,

01:01:29.196 --> 01:01:31.920
like, hear what I have to say. So,

01:01:32.300 --> 01:01:36.120
yeah, I don't know. No, that's wonderful.

01:01:36.580 --> 01:01:39.860
Yeah. And those are. I mean, those are huge.

01:01:39.940 --> 01:01:43.662
I mean, compassion, creativity, and a

01:01:43.686 --> 01:01:47.598
level of humbleness, I guess. Yeah. Like, we would prefer not to have our

01:01:47.694 --> 01:01:51.246
imposter syndrome, but, yes, like, those are all wonderful. I'm not

01:01:51.278 --> 01:01:54.766
cocky about it, you know, I'm just like, oh, wow, you want me to come

01:01:54.798 --> 01:01:58.590
on your podcast? Okay. I guess I can talk about some

01:01:58.630 --> 01:02:01.678
things. I love it. Yeah. Where,

01:02:01.814 --> 01:02:05.310
if people want to see, you know, more about your work

01:02:05.350 --> 01:02:08.570
and your writing and everything that you do, where should people go?

01:02:09.140 --> 01:02:12.212
Yeah, my website is rosirebacka.com,

01:02:12.396 --> 01:02:15.996
the word rose with a y because my name is Rebecca Roserose,

01:02:16.108 --> 01:02:19.628
which we could have a whole conversation about. A podcast

01:02:19.684 --> 01:02:22.580
about my name, if you want. But,

01:02:22.620 --> 01:02:26.052
yeah, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, it's allosey.

01:02:26.076 --> 01:02:29.252
Rebecca, I was looking at LinkedIn earlier. I don't really know how

01:02:29.276 --> 01:02:32.924
it works, but I feel like I should get on there. I'm in the process

01:02:33.012 --> 01:02:36.040
of moving my site over to just a member

01:02:36.620 --> 01:02:40.252
site that's going to be free. But to read some

01:02:40.276 --> 01:02:43.796
of my writing, you'll have to sign up for the newsletter and be signed

01:02:43.828 --> 01:02:47.196
in, and it'll have a paid option as well. I just

01:02:47.228 --> 01:02:50.004
don't know how much it's going to be yet. Awesome.

01:02:50.132 --> 01:02:53.716
Yeah. Rosierebecka.com, comma, my shop is closed for December.

01:02:53.908 --> 01:02:57.572
Well, this will be coming out in January, so that'll be perfect. Yeah.

01:02:57.596 --> 01:03:00.876
Well, then hopefully it'll be open by then. But who knows? I might

01:03:00.988 --> 01:03:04.808
be procrastinating still, but. Yeah, I think that's

01:03:04.984 --> 01:03:08.624
everyone. Yeah, I know. I. Now I want to end, but I also want

01:03:08.632 --> 01:03:12.160
to touch on. You decided to close your shop for energy management.

01:03:12.240 --> 01:03:15.880
And I think that's a really smart. Some people will say, I can't do that.

01:03:15.920 --> 01:03:19.600
That's that, you know, I'll lose people. It's like, not acceptable.

01:03:19.760 --> 01:03:23.480
But you make the choice for energy management. So I think that's fantastic.

01:03:23.560 --> 01:03:26.928
It's a very privileged position to be able to do that. I know some people

01:03:26.984 --> 01:03:29.664
just can't. You know, to be able to say, I need a break and actually

01:03:29.712 --> 01:03:33.068
be able to take it like that is very. I just kind of

01:03:33.084 --> 01:03:36.796
like, you know, it took. I'm traveling next week for the

01:03:36.828 --> 01:03:40.076
holidays, and I'm going to be in New York for three weeks. And last

01:03:40.148 --> 01:03:43.476
year when I was in New York, I couldn't do anything.

01:03:43.548 --> 01:03:47.484
So I was like, rather than have to worry about orders

01:03:47.572 --> 01:03:51.028
and, you know, anything like that, just close it.

01:03:51.084 --> 01:03:54.820
And plus, I'm moving my website, so it made more sense to do that

01:03:54.860 --> 01:03:58.652
anyway. So. Awesome. Yeah, no, it's definitely being very protective

01:03:58.676 --> 01:04:02.388
of my energy and. Yeah, and social media,

01:04:02.444 --> 01:04:05.076
too. I've learned to just feel like I need to take a break and not

01:04:05.108 --> 01:04:07.400
care about the algorithms. Just, you know,

01:04:07.820 --> 01:04:11.892
which is hard. Yes, absolutely, it's hard,

01:04:12.036 --> 01:04:15.668
but it's great self care. So thank you. Thank you again

01:04:15.764 --> 01:04:19.900
for coming on and, you know, sharing your wealth of knowledge.

01:04:20.020 --> 01:04:20.260
Yay.