How to Grow Your Network

00:00:27 - Amber Hawley
Hello, hello. Welcome to season one of the My Biz Bestie podcast. I'm Amber Hawley.

00:00:31 - Maelisa Hall
And I'm Melissa Hall.

00:00:33 - Amber Hawley
And today we'll be talking about how to grow your network. Woohoo! Let's do it. So kind of what we're going to cover today in the podcast is what's your goal of growing your network?
Why do you want one? Where do you put your focus? And the different things to consider and not be afraid of, I guess.

00:00:56 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. Awesome. So what is your goal with building a network? I don't know. I mean, do you think different people have different goals of building a network or?

00:01:06 - Amber Hawley
For sure. I mean, I think for some people it's very, it's just about having those people in their business life so they can, you know, get more sales or, or it's very just profit oriented or just business oriented, which is totally fine. And then there are people who just genuinely like building a network to have people around them that feel like they support them and get them and, and kind of give them guidance.

00:01:33 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I guess that kind of brings up the point to like, what do we even mean by network, which we didn't define before this. So, Hey, but as far as network, I mean, I'm, I'm kind of thinking of larger network. So that could be like people that you meet at a conference and you get business cards from, it could be people that are colleagues that you see more regularly.
it could be like your friends and family too, right? Like I think that's one thing that we often forget about that we might have friends who can be in our professional network, right? Because they might have a totally unrelated service.

00:02:15 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, or they're just a support system and they don't have any business at all. But they're the connector people or like I said, the emotional support people, right? But I agree. It's definitely everybody. I feel like it's everyone in your life in a way is your network.

00:02:32 - Maelisa Hall
Totally. Yeah, so you don't want to discount who could be in your network. But then I guess as far as, you know, thinking about what is your goal with building one, then you want to think about, okay, well, what's the point of it, right?

00:02:52 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, and I guess for me, I – see the network as obviously there's the business network, personal network. Again, I'm thinking they're all, they're all intertwined. But for me, I really have seen the value of having people in my life that I have those relationships with where I genuinely like them and get along with them.
And so even if it's not about like getting a referral or a sale or anything like that, although that's a nice bonus, but just having those people that I feel like I can connect with on a real level is and to kind of support me when things are going well or when things are kind of not going so well.
So yeah, I feel like it's beyond just the profits or just about getting the sales, but I do think there's a lot of value in it.

00:03:42 - Maelisa Hall
Totally. Yeah, and I didn't even think about when you were saying that right now, I was like, oh yeah, you also want to think about the people that you don't want in your network, right? Because they should be people that you like, even if you're thinking about building a broader network and this, this might be where women tend to differ a little bit than men, I think.
But like, I want to have people in my network and my broader network that are people I wouldn't mind recommending somebody else do business with or somebody else seek out for help. And they're all people that I do actually like. I have people who could be in my network who, and could be great referral sources, but I don't really respect them as people or respect the way they do business.
And so I choose to purposely not have them in my network.

00:04:32 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, I agree with that. And yeah, I know some people might disagree with that approach perhaps, but I feel I'm kind of built the same way where if we don't connect, then I'm obviously gonna be cordial. And I think of you as an acquaintance or somebody I know in the business world or in the therapy world, it's a small community.
but I'm not exactly going to invest any time. You know, time is very limited. And so I'm going to be thoughtful about where I invest my time. And so I would rather spend time cultivating a relationship with somebody that, you know, may not have any kind of long-term value for my business directly, but that offers value to my life.

00:05:08 - Maelisa Hall
So I guess that's how I see it a I think that's huge because I want to make sure that my network is, even if, I mean, I have people in my network that aren't necessarily people who fit my style. I think about coaches, that's kind of a popular one, right?
Like we all know, probably know lots of coaches. So there are people I might not work with in particular, but I could say, oh, hey, if you like this type of coaching, this is a great person because I at least know that they do good work, even if it's not the type of person I would work with, which is different from having somebody that I don't trust or think negatively about.

00:05:50 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. Yeah. And yeah, they're definitely those people that, yeah, stylistically, they're different. It's not like a in crowd kind of thing for me either. There's people where I'm like, oh, you wouldn't be my friend per se or my best friend or anything like that.
But I do respect you. And I think you have really good knowledge base. And I understand like where you're coming from. So that is, that is a good distinction, I think.

00:06:15 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. It's important to think about why you want a network because you don't just want to think like, I think we talk about networks all the time. Like, Oh, you should have a network. You should have connections. But then we don't really think about what's the point of it.
So what are some good reasons to actually have a larger network?

00:06:35 - Amber Hawley
Right. Well, so I think there's the obvious, which is having that network of people that you can get direct referrals from. I know I have those people in my life. Usually they've started out as people that I've built a relationship with on the side that had nothing to do with my business.
I think about when I opened my counseling practice, my acupuncturist and my chiropractor both became referral sources for me. It just so happened we served the same client, you know, population, but it wasn't that I went and spent time with them or continued to use their services just because I wanted that referral.
It just, it actually fit.

00:07:16 - Maelisa Hall
Totally. Yeah. And I can think of trying when I opened my office space, right? Like that was another avenue of a new thing that I wanted to do because I was in this totally new location. I didn't know people in this area. And so I was just trying to meet people in the area and didn't really care.
I mean, obviously I wanted referral sources, but I also just wanted to know who's around here. You know, what is it that people are doing and get to know people in all industries, but that are in my specific location.

00:07:53 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. Yeah. And yeah, having a brick and mortar business location is another way that we're going to choose somebody that, you know, having people that are close by. That being said, obviously being industry specific is also a good thing. I feel like I have a lot of therapist networks and they may or may not be anywhere near me, but they're great support systems.
One, I definitely locally refer to a lot of therapists because in the therapy world, you you know, we have our own specialties and we don't necessarily work with everything. So having those people that do other kinds of work or even the same type of work when we're full, it's great to have those resources to be able to refer to and have that reciprocal relationship.
And at the same time, I like going to networking things with other therapists that aren't, whether or not they're in my area, just for that support, because it is like anything, I think in any industry, there's unique challenges and there's, different rules and all kinds of things that are just unique to that industry and so having somebody who gets that and you can just kind of freely talk about stuff and not have to think about it or worry about it I think is so valuable.

00:09:04 - Maelisa Hall
Totally, and I'm just thinking of. I've done a lot of networking, or like, building my network just for the sake of building my network. Because you're supposed to do that. But then recently, you and I did that in a much more purposeful way, and I. I feel like we've seen these awesome results from doing that.
So it's probably a good point to bring up because actually thinking about like, what's your goal with building up the network and why, why do you want to do it really helps you determine where you're going to put your focus. So when you and I were talking about starting podcasts right around the same time, podcast movement was about to happen and we were like, Oh, okay, let's go to podcast movement.
And we went to podcast movement and we both had like, like really set ideas about, you know, we want to meet other podcasters, right?

And I didn't really know who we might run into. I mean, we knew a few people, but didn't know what was going to happen. But we had a focus of let's meet as many people as we can and talk to as many people as we can and see what happens.

00:10:07 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I think that goes into the next part of like, how do you build your network? So like you said, we were really conscious about, Hey, we want to go to a conference that's for podcasters because this is new to us. We haven't, you know, we hadn't at the time launched our podcast.
So we wanted to be able to meet people and kind of understand the specifics of the industry. So we were really open and ready to meet people. So we did things like we did the VIP experience so that we get the special room in where you get to go and have like snacks and stuff.
But the real value of that room was, it's a small room that actually had tables and chairs. And it was a smaller group because, you know, the conference is pretty large. And it gave you the opportunity to actually sit down and talk to people where I felt like podcast movement, they were the the nicest, most welcoming, friendly, giving people.

And at the same time, it's still hard if you're passing by in a hallway to just strike up a conversation. So it was really valuable, I felt, to have that space where And it wasn't the party, right? Because that's still, that's good. But by then people are drinking and all this other stuff.
But it was this awesome space to just go and sit down. And immediately we were like the first two in the room. And the next person who came in were like, hey, you know, because we're extroverts. And they came over and sat with us. It was Alejandro. who we love.
And then we ended up meeting a few people and we kind of stayed with those people throughout the conference, even though we still continue to meet others. But I felt like that was kind of a nice, comfortable base. And it gave us that opportunity again to, then they connected us with people they knew because we really didn't know anybody besides ourselves.

There was a group of therapists there who podcast as well, which was awesome. And so we did attend, they hosted like an informal lunch. And so we were able to meet therapist, which was nice because then we had that, that common ground. So that also, we kind of did those strategic things of like, how can we make it so it's not so overwhelming and like, oh my gosh, I'm just standing here.
Don't know what to say to anybody. I don't know anybody, but find those common grounds with people and then start it up. And then you feel like, hey, we're in this together. And it felt really supportive.

00:12:23 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. Yeah. And then I felt like I had a lot more direction afterwards, like for following up with people, which is really when you build your network, it's, it's about meeting people, but then it's also about maintaining that, you know, how do you connect with people ongoing?
And I felt like I had a much better idea about how to do that just because we had this focus at the beginning.

00:12:44 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. And I, and I think, again, we went into this knowing that we really wanted to be better about that. Um, Our coach that we know and love, Joe Muir, had told you this, and she had said it to me at one time too, that extroverts are great at going out and networking and meeting people, and we're not so great with the follow-up.
And then you add our ADHD to the mix, and it's like, holy smokes.

00:13:09 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, it's like awesome. It's like awesome, fun experience. And then, hey, maybe we'll talk later if we run into one another again.

00:13:16 - Amber Hawley
Exactly. And it's like, we love them. We're like, we're so excited. This is amazing. And then unless it's right in front of us, we're like, I'll add that to my list. I swear I'm going to follow up. And you want to because you like these people genuinely.
So you have to know yourself too. So that can be the struggle of we said, okay, we're going to be better this time because we know that that's a struggle. And I think the important thing what Joe had told us is that sometimes introverts can feel like, oh, I can't just go and you know, that's overwhelming to me to go to a conference and have all those people, which again is why I feel the small room was really helpful.
And most of the people I think we connected with initially were introverts, but you know, we were the connectors of course. But the nice part is I think introverts are better about following up, whereas we tend to get a little distracted.

For sure.

00:14:10 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And so it's kind of nice to know that hopefully if any of you listening are introverts, maybe that makes you feel a little bit better. You know, you don't have to meet a hundred people someplace, but if you are following up with the people you do meet, that's what's really, really important.

00:14:24 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. And yeah, it could be just a couple of people. I feel like we did connect with quite a few people, but again, I would probably say there were a core group of like four or five that we really felt connected with and got to spend, you know, we spent more time talking during meals or during breaks and so forth.
And I think that was the real value there. And like I said, it was a very, one of the, I think the most friendly conference I've ever been to. People were just very welcoming and open and it wasn't clicky at all. So it was wonderful. But that was us putting ourselves into a very new space.
And so sometimes it's about doing that. You know, there is value in going to your industry conferences. Absolutely. Because that's your comfort zone. But there's also value in putting yourself outside that space. And so something like you know, podcast movement, obviously, if you weren't considering a podcast, probably wouldn't make sense.

But we're also doing that going forward. We're going to be attending FinCon in the end of October. And again, the thought was, this is a big event that so many people rave about. And it's really outside of our current spaces, although now technically with the podcast, that falls into it a little bit.
But we wanted to push ourselves and meet people outside of our industry. And just because I think you get different perspectives and different tools or ways of approaching things. So I think there's a lot of value in that.

00:15:51 - Maelisa Hall
Totally. Yeah. And I think about my online business, helping other therapists and actually a lot of the connecting I do that's like specifically around my business has to do with connecting with these other professionals who are either not therapists or usually are therapists that had a different job in their former life, right?
Because it's all of these other things that therapists need help with. And typical therapists either don't have training in it or don't have experience or don't like that topic or whatever, right? but we all need all of these different things. Like I'm actually excited at FinCon to see what kind of tools we might get because I'm not really into a lot of financial stuff.

Of course I do my, you know, financial stuff I have to do for my business, but I'm so interested to see what people where this is a thing, like what is it that they're talking about and what are some pointers I might get?

00:16:52 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. And I feel that's the value of Facebook is you, You know, a lot of these conferences have their own private Facebook groups for people who are attending the conference. And I've already gotten so much value out of that FinCon group because, like you said, I think I'm pretty basic when it comes to finances as well.
Like I, you know, do my QuickBooks and give my profit and loss statement to my CPA and call it a day. So very limited as far as business goes. But I was actually, just this happened just this week where I said, you know, I feel like I want to explore a different option.
I used to have a bookkeeper who did my QuickBooks and I don't know, for whatever reason, QuickBooks and me just don't, we don't connect as well. Like I just, something about it.

You know, I was dating it for a while, but I thought, no, I don't know that I love this. So I ended up posting in the FinCon group because I thought, gosh, if anybody knows you know, what kind of software would be out there that would be good. And I didn't just want to choose something based on one recommendation because what if that company goes under?
You know, I think of what if they're like inconsistent or they don't offer, you know, they have different problems. I don't know. So I just wanted to know. So I actually posted in that group and I got tons of response, you know, from it and ended up finding a new software that I'm going to use to manage my business expenses.

00:18:17 - Maelisa Hall
Awesome. Yeah. And I don't know. QuickBooks works for me. So, hey, you just do what works for you. But yeah, it doesn't get along well with you.

00:18:24 - Amber Hawley
I know.

00:18:25 - Maelisa Hall
There's been some drama there. But yeah, I think that's the cool thing is you can step outside and then we can also, you know, hopefully offer some value to people at FinCon because maybe they don't know any therapists and maybe, you know, they're not necessarily people that are going to like live in the Bay Area and go to your practice, right?
But we might be able to offer some connections to those people there and help them out in some way.

00:18:48 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. And I think, you know, just being therapists and knowing a lot about how to help people manage their stress and, you know, how they're thinking about things and approaching things and how they're building relationships, you know, that's our specialty.
So I feel like we offer a lot of value in that, but it's just nice to kind of expand that network at times and go outside your comfort zone. And I think you can make valuable connections with people through that, you know, may become friends, may become some kind of collaboration partner, but ultimately, you know, just the exchange of information.
I feel like everybody has something that they can teach someone else. Or sometimes it's just those small little nuggets that for in business can be so life-changing because it's the time saver or, you know, finding about this amazing accounting software that doesn't actually cost anything.

You know, there's lots of value there.

00:19:41 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And then I even think about a lot of times I think we get scared to share information or share things that we need with other people or to talk about it a lot. And I've found the greatest strides I've made in business or really cool resources I've found have been when I have honestly used my intuition and randomly said to someone, yeah, I'm thinking about doing this.
Or I can even think when I was working for a company, I was meeting with one of my employees and we were desperately looking for an employee in a certain area in the Central Valley in California. And so it's just not a popular area, the population is smaller.

All that. So I was talking to her and randomly said the name of the city, and she was like, Oh, I lived there for 20 years, and. And I was like, what? And I never would have thought of that. And she was like, yeah, actually. And I've been thinking about moving recently.
So then we ended up transferring her to that city and it helped us tremendously. It was a win-win-win all the way around. And it was all because I just randomly mentioned to her that we were having trouble looking for somebody in that city. And I never would have thought that she had lived there for 20 years.
But I think following your intuition and talking with people about those things that are coming up for you can have these huge benefits.

00:21:10 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. And I think, you know, the other thing is it is, yeah, like you said, it's important to kind of put out there what you're needing and talk to people about things. And with that means like you actually have to go and network, right? right? And sometimes people, you know, it's nice to meet people once or to, you know, be in a Facebook group with people or, you know, whatever.
But if you're not, if you're not actually connecting with them, I mean, you can connect on Facebook as well, right? But if you're not actually connecting with them or attending networking things, you're losing so much value. Because a big piece of that is I might go to like, I have a local networking group that I attend.
There's a few, but one in particular, and it's a very small group. And it's probably like, between six and 10 people and it's usually the same people. But the thing is, it's so valuable because even though that's small, it puts us top of minds because I can't tell you how many times like I've gone to that thing and then something comes up and somebody says, oh, you know, I need X, Y, Z, or, you know, we just got a client that called in and they want a particular type of modality that we don't offer.

And I think, oh, I'm going to refer so-and-so because I just saw them like they're top of mind. So utilizing that network is really important too.

00:22:25 - Maelisa Hall
Totally. Yeah. And one of the things I think is super helpful that I feel like I haven't done as much in my online business in particular is using the network of your customer base or your followers, right? So I have, you know, thousands of people on this email list and I whatever it is that I might need, I literally have thousands of people in my network that I can email.
So not that you're going to shoot emails to your email list every time you have a question about something, but especially for broader things or when you need help in particular, like when you're looking to hire or something like that, you never want to forget about those networks of people that are obviously interested in you in some way.

00:23:11 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. And I think the hiring thing is a great point because when I'm going around or I'm even with my friends out for the night or meeting up for lunch or something, I feel like I mention when I'm in a space where I am hiring because you never know.
You just never know who knows who. And you may think like, oh, I'm looking for this unicorn of these special traits. But when you really put it out there a lot, I feel like those serendipitous things happen and you end up connecting with the right people.
Yeah.

00:23:40 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And so often you hear people say like, yeah, but, oh, nobody's going to know X or whatever, but that's the thing. And you never know unless you put it out there and you might put it out there and nobody knows and you don't get any ideas or you don't get any leads, but at least you've done it.
You've tried.

00:23:57 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And yeah, it's not like a one and done kind of thing. I feel like it's, you sometimes keep doing that until, you know, timing does matter too. But just being willing to put in the time and put it out there for people, I think is really important.
I know that we're coming up to the end here and I know we plan in the next episode to talk a little bit further about how to actually utilize your network and how to use it to create a support system. So that's kind of taking the bigger network and bringing it down to something that's a little more a little more intimate and we'll talk more about that next time.
But I wanted to finish this up and kind of give some actionable things of where are some places people can meet people or increase their network.

00:24:47 - Maelisa Hall
Totally. And I think one, like a big one is Facebook, right? And obviously use it smartly because we can all get distracted and or even get overzealous. So I know I've done that where I've actually taken myself out of quite a few Facebook groups because there were just too many to manage.
And I was like, I'm not using these. But when I did that, I thought strategically about keeping myself in different types of groups and with certain people or certain people who are leading it, that kind of thing.

00:25:18 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, where there's value. And obviously we met over Facebook. Yes. So there is value in that. Other places is professional associations attending. A lot of those organizations will offer trainings or lunches or networking opportunities. Those are just really easy ways to meet other professionals in your industry.
Meetups are great. Meetups and networking groups. And there's value in having them be very diversified or different from your industry. And there's value to having it the same. Like we said, we already went through that.

00:25:48 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I think you try out different ones too. Like I go to one meetup that is for professional women, but it's, purposely different industries, but it's also like we always say, it's like a BNI group, but not a BNI group. So what a lot of people say when they first come to this meetup is that it's not stuffy like a lot of other business networking groups are.
So, you know, if you go to one and you don't like it, then try out another one because they do often have a different feel.

00:26:15 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, every group has a different vibe. based on the leadership and the people in the group, for sure. And BNI, for anybody who doesn't know, is Business Networking International, which is great. And a lot of people use that and they have chapters everywhere.
So you can go look them up for sure. The other thing is tapping into your existing community. You know, mentors you may have or professors, your hairdresser sometimes. Again, it's, you know, making those connections. If you're looking for something specific or just kind of talking to people, your church, Know, there's lots of other places too.
Do you have any other questions, Melissa?

00:26:53 - Maelisa Hall
To keep it, you know, social media heavy and give you the millennial perspective, Twitter can actually be really helpful for building these kind of broader networks. It depends on how you use it, but even if you don't really know how to use Twitter, try it.
It's especially good for like media, if you want to get to know reporters. or people who are in the news at all, or if you want to get to know blog writers, Twitter is a great place to do that.

00:27:24 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. Yeah. And then some of the other ones we already mentioned, going to events, going to conferences, book clubs. Again, that's how we met. I know. Just kind of putting yourself out there in different ways, not... You know, sometimes you want to be really thoughtful because, again, your time is limited.
And I'm sure you have busy lives and families and all kinds and your business. You have a lot going on. So you want to be really thoughtful about it. But sometimes pushing outside your comfort zone is really a good idea. And to think of this as building relationships.
I mean, I'm sure you've heard that before, but that's really what it's about. It's, you know, when you I guess I remember I think about when I was going to college and you think about, oh, you have to network. and what that meant. And it just sounded so foreign to anything I would think of growing up.
And that was not what I was thinking of when I went to college, just FYI.

Okay, but maybe I'm talking about when I went back. So I was a little bit older. And so yeah, I probably had a very different perspective at that point. At 20, I was Thinking of that either, but it just felt like this big thing and kind of like, Oh, this is gonna be painful.
Because even though we're extroverts, we're the kind we're ENFP, so we don't like small talk so much. So it thought, Oh, but then when you realize it's really just about creating relationships with people you like, or people you respect. And and having it be very natural and organic and and authentic.
And so then it doesn't feel so like or arduous, you know, it's like. yes, that's something that's really good. And because we like talking to people, it's a lot of fun for us.

00:29:04 - Maelisa Hall
I know. And I think also, and maybe we can even talk to her on the show someday. Maybe not. I don't know. But I think about one friend in particular who said she didn't have the community that she was looking for where she was. And so she started it, right?
So she started a local chapter of a professional association because she needed that network and when she couldn't find it, she just did it herself. So there are also things you can do like that where you can talk with someone or you never know, you might talk with someone and say, hey, I was thinking of starting a book club and they might say, oh, I wanted to read that book too.
Bam, there you go. You know, so you can always start it yourself if you're not able to find what it is that you want.

00:29:52 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, which is a good point. When I started my practice in Fremont, I didn't know anybody. In fact, all of my jobs had either been in the South Bay, like Saratoga, Santa Clara, and in San Francisco. So I knew nobody. I didn't even have friends in the area, really.
So I was starting from scratch. So I did that exact thing. I started a therapist networking group because there wasn't one going on. And I wanted to meet local people. And that was really valuable. So that's a really good point that sometimes you just need to create it.
Also creating the meetup groups. I mean, that's the best way because you can kind of pick the topic and then just see who comes. But yeah, so I think we kind of covered all of the ins and outs of high-level ins and outs of building your network. And is there anything else you'd like to add?

00:30:41 - Maelisa Hall
I think don't be afraid to move on if you're finding one that doesn't work for you for a while. If you... give it a fair shot. You know, you don't want to just go once unless you get a horrible vibe. But don't be afraid to drop certain things or to leave a Facebook group or whatever because it's not what you need or it's not, if you're not getting any benefit from it, not just leads, but like if you're just getting a negative vibe or you find that going there brings you down, you know, those are important things to think about.

00:31:18 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. Yeah, and I think that's a good place to end today, that you got to be thoughtful with your time. It's important to have that network, but it's also important to be respectful of your time and your energy. As we said there, we only have so many hours in the day, so...
Thanks so much for joining us today. And like we said, next time we're going to talk a little bit more about using that network to create that support system. Thanks for joining us. And if you like what you hear today, please subscribe to our podcast.
And if you really love what you heard, then share the love and give us a review.

00:31:57 - Maelisa Hall
That would be wonderful.

00:31:58 - Amber Hawley
And let us know what you liked. Absolutely. We'd love to hear from you. You can join us over at mybizbestie.com as well and send us some info. All right. Thanks so much. See you in the next episode. Bye.