Finding the Right Business Friendship with Stacey Ogden

00:00:24 - Maelisa Hall
Welcome to season three of the My Biz Bestie podcast. I'm Melissa Hall.

00:00:28 - Amber Hawley
And I'm Amber Hawley.

00:00:30 - Maelisa Hall
And today we have another awesome, special interview for you all. We have the wonderful Stacey Ogden, and she is going to be featured in our season's first Find Me a Bestie episode.

00:00:45 - Amber Hawley
Yay! Welcome, Stacey.

00:00:49 - Stacey Ogden
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

00:00:52 - Maelisa Hall
Yes, we are so excited to have you here. We actually met Stacey at Podcast Movement over the summer. So it's really cool that we, it's one of the rare times when we met someone in person. Like first, I think we'd seen your name around, but hadn't actually like talked to one another.

00:01:10 - Amber Hawley
Yes.

00:01:11 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah, it's funny about the online space. It's like you feel like you know people before you actually know them.

00:01:16 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It is so weird because I already feel it so many times. I'm like, oh, I totally know that person. Then you meet in person and it's even better, right?

00:01:25 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we got a chance to actually talk with you. And I remember getting your business card because we all were at a breakfast together. And so everyone passed around business cards. And I remember on the back of your business card, it was something about the to-do list.
To-do list master. Yes. And I was like, oh, I need that. Like it was one of those things where I was like, oh, she's on point. Like that's, I think I'm probably your ideal client. And I was like, yeah, that's attracting me like right there.

00:01:53 - Amber Hawley
I know. I'm going to go on the limit. Are you a J? I am an ISTJ.

00:01:58 - Maelisa Hall
Yes, I am.

00:01:59 - Amber Hawley
I was like, because I feel like you can't be a to-do list master and claim that without being a J. That feels very J-ish. That's why we love you. We need J's in our lives.

00:02:10 - Stacey Ogden
We always say that. The yin and the yang.

00:02:14 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So Stacey, on that note, why don't you tell us a little bit about your business and what it is that you do?

00:02:22 - Stacey Ogden
Okay. So like many entrepreneurs, I've sort of had a long and winding road. I actually started, oh gosh, six years ago now, I started with a network marketing company and just sucked at it. I was horrible. That's awesome. I had like a death grip on it because I was so desperate like to be successful at it that I just wouldn't let it go.
So it took me about a year and a lot of time and a lot of money before I said, maybe I'm not cut out for this. And so I moved on. But my last ditch effort to be part of that particular company was I started a blog to share all the things I loved about that company.
And it turns out there weren't that many things. So I actually...

I actually started writing about like my family and what was going on and, you know, stories and tips and things that I kind of found. And oddly enough, people started finding me. So this is on the Creating My Happiness blog that I've had for like five years now.
And it's now a contributor model. So I don't really do most of the writing for the site. Other people do and I just post it. And, you know, that was great for a really long time. I had a great time. I learned so much. And then about a year and a half ago, I was starting to feel a little meh about the whole thing.
It was just, it wasn't really sparking anything anymore. And I decided to take a little break. And while I was doing the break, I was training for the Avon 39, which is a 39.3 mile walk for breast cancer research. So that's a lot of walking.

So I was listening to a lot of podcasts.

00:04:05 - Maelisa Hall
I know podcasts are so good for that.

00:04:07 - Stacey Ogden
Right. Oh my gosh. It actually kept me going extra miles sometimes because I was like, I can't stop halfway through the episode. So I started listening and I started getting ideas and sort of being inspired. So I decided that I was going to start a different company.
I wanted to keep the blog because it was up and running and successful and making money, but it wasn't really where my passion was. So I decided I was going to do a podcast and I was going to do this company where I was going to help women and take care of themselves and make time to take care of themselves.
And so I started the podcast and I put it out there and, you know, I know nothing about business launches, nothing at all. So I just sort of like hit post and like, that was it. Like I didn't publicize it. I didn't put it anywhere. You're like, oh, people will find it, right?
Yeah, you know, the internet's not that big.

People just don't.

00:04:59 - Amber Hawley
I will say right off, I love the refreshing honesty because I think that that's such a benefit. that is something you really do want in your biz bestie, in my opinion. So I'm just, I'm putting that out there for the people out there listening who are going to be lining up to be your biz bestie.
So please continue.

00:05:16 - Stacey Ogden
So, you know, when I started the podcast, it was more self-care centered. And then I've got like six or seven episodes in and I was like, I feel like the time piece I'm really strong on, but the self-care, I just don't have enough to say about that because I'm still working on it myself.
And yeah, but I know what I'm doing when it comes to time because I have a full-time job. I teach middle school. I've been running this blog for five years. Now I've got this podcast and I'm working with clients and I know my time. I know how to balance all that stuff and I can help other people do that.
So we kind of did a little pivot around episode seven and now I can't shut up. So I've got plenty of things to say. And I really love working with especially working moms who are building their side hustles because that's me.

That's who I am. So I love helping the other people who maybe don't have that time piece down, but they really are passionate and they love what they do.

00:06:13 - Maelisa Hall
And I love it because I feel like what you're saying you're so good at, you're like, oh, I have the time thing down. That's what most of us are like, OMG, how in the heck can I figure all this out? So... And by most of us, I think Melissa means her. Yeah.
And I hear that from other entrepreneurs every once in a while. A little bit. Occasionally. Yeah. And definitely myself. So, I mean, I think it's awesome that you're owning it. You're like, no, this is the part I have down. I'm still trying to figure out other stuff.
Because I think it's a huge benefit because so many of us are stuck in this, like, how do we manage all of this? So what is the name of your podcast so that people... Oh, that's right.

00:06:56 - Stacey Ogden
I forgot to say that. See, promotion is not my thing. I was going to say. Visibility. Visibility, Stacey. My podcast is The Busy Mom Collective. And it's all about practical guidance for working moms who are building their business on the side. Sweet.

00:07:13 - Amber Hawley
I like it. So... What made you or when you sent us the information about wanting to help you find a bestie, what was the catalyst or where are you at in your bestie or business support system right now?

00:07:26 - Stacey Ogden
Well, right now, the thing is when you have a full-time job, especially as a teacher, people who are teachers are teachers. They identify as a teacher. That's not just what they do. It's part of their personality. So I don't really have people around me that are...
entrepreneurs that get it, you know, they don't, they get the highs and lows because we've all had highs and lows in the classroom, but they don't really get like, I can't go talk to them and be like, you know, I had this problem. I had to do this custom CSS code and they're like, okay, what is that?
Like, you know, the problems that come up and the time that goes into it and, you know, they're just completely different worlds. So, you know, and my husband has his own business, but he's not really, He's not really into the whole business thing of it.

He just wants to do what he does. And that's it. So, you know, I really don't have anybody around me who gets it.

00:08:24 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I think a lot of people are in that place. And, you know, when you said that about your husband, so he's like the technician and he loves being the technician is what now, of course, I forgot who wrote E-Myth Revisited. The guy's... the name of the guy, but that's a great book.
And they talk about that, about like, there are some people who just really do relish in doing the work and they don't want to look at the business and think about the business and growing the business, right?

00:08:48 - Stacey Ogden
Yes.

00:08:50 - Amber Hawley
But yeah, a lot of people are in that place where they have a great social support network and they have good friends and they have, you know, a lot of good things, but they don't have those people to talk business with.

00:09:00 - Maelisa Hall
Right.

00:09:01 - Amber Hawley
That's huge.

00:09:02 - Maelisa Hall
And it sounds like you have a great network for your day job. like other teachers that you can talk with. And I think, yeah, that is a great example of one of those jobs where it isn't just a job. It's part of your identity too. And it's something that people really value.
And it's a job that people often stay in for like 30 years. Yep.

00:09:22 - Stacey Ogden
On year 18 right now. And so, yeah, it's one of those things. I announced to my family that when I was nine years old, I was going to be a music teacher. And I It's now 30 plus years later and I'm still a music teacher. Wow, that's awesome. I just didn't realize when I was younger that I'm such a multi-passionate person.
Like I thought I was very single-minded and I was wrong.

00:09:48 - Amber Hawley
Well, are we ever really encouraged to do that? I mean, aren't we usually encouraged to be on one track? That is true. Yeah. Yeah, this is great. Okay, wonderful. So do you... Just to get a little bit more information about like the area you live in. I don't know if you live in a bigger town, smaller town, like give us a little more background on that.

00:10:07 - Stacey Ogden
I live in a smallish town. It's not like super small. We're not out in the middle of the country. You know, we're in a fairly metro area for Connecticut. You know, so I'm like an hour and a half north of the city, but we have not a lot of businesses things going on.
Like we have chambers in each of the towns around here. And I actually just started a chapter of business among moms because I'm just looking for that connection. So that's still in the process of getting up and running, which I think like you haven't had a meeting yet.
No, we've had a couple of meetings. We had like a breakfast here and we did a couple of meetings over the summer, but you know, it's summer. So it's like hit or miss. So we're still in the very early stages of that, but yeah, that's pretty much it.

Like even meetups are And other things like that, there just aren't a lot of things going on.

00:11:01 - Amber Hawley
Have you hosted a meetup? I mean, so obviously you're doing the Business Among Moms, which I think is fantastic, right? Because for those of you who don't know, our good friend, Julie Fry, actually started that organization.

00:11:13 - Maelisa Hall
It was featured on a previous BizBestie episode. That's right.

00:11:18 - Amber Hawley
She was with her BizBestie on our podcast. And I think that's such a smart thing to do. One, because you're... going to find your target people, but it's also because you're going to find people doing the same thing as you, right? Building business while balancing family and possibly another job.
Yes.

00:11:36 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah. And I actually, one of the women who is now, they have a structure of leadership. So if I'm the chapter leader, she's one of the ambassadors. So she was trying to do meetups for a couple of years now and just couldn't really get them off the ground.
So I think having that the organization behind it is going to be helpful. So, and plus she knows a lot of people. So I'm hoping she'll kind of nudge people in the door.

00:12:00 - Maelisa Hall
Good, good. Wonderful.

00:12:02 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah.

00:12:02 - Maelisa Hall
So you have like a partner in this.

00:12:04 - Stacey Ogden
Yes. Yeah. We actually have, I actually have two ambassadors and they're both very eager. So it's nice.

00:12:11 - Amber Hawley
Wonderful. Well, that's good. Wonderful. Okay. So you have that you're in a smallish town. Well, obviously the fact that you went to podcast movement, I mean, I think that's such a smart thing too, because you're putting yourself out there. to meet people IRL, because I think that is a great way to enhance and solidify those relationships.
And as we have found from doing all of our BizBestie episodes, a lot of people don't live near each other that are BizBesties.

00:12:40 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah. I mean, it's such a global society now that it's like, sure, your friend can be halfway across the world. It doesn't really matter anymore.

00:12:48 - Maelisa Hall
Absolutely. Time changes can make it a little complicated, but... So hopefully not halfway across the world. But I mean, yeah, I mean, that does not have to be a limiting factor. Yeah.

00:13:00 - Amber Hawley
Yes.

00:13:01 - Maelisa Hall
Location is not a limitation for sure.

00:13:03 - Stacey Ogden
Right. And side note, podcast movement, scariest, most terrifying thing for an ISTJ to go to a conference by yourself and meet other people, but that's okay.

00:13:14 - Amber Hawley
That is a very brave thing. That's an excellent thing to point out because it's true. That can be a very... It can be overwhelming. It is a decently big sized conference. Hopefully, I mean, we had a group of people, you know, we had a lot of things that were being put on by like the biz chicks.
And hopefully you connected and were able to kind of feel like you had a little home base going. Yeah, that was nice. That was super brave of you. I am going to support you and honor you in that.

00:13:41 - Maelisa Hall
How did it go at Podcast Movement?

00:13:43 - Stacey Ogden
It was good. You know, I had to, I scheduled myself some breaks. But then when I was in sessions, I made an effort to, you know, talk to the people next to me and make sure that I wasn't like sneaking into the back as much as possible. You know, so I could actually sit and a few minutes before they would get started, I could actually have a conversation.
So, you know, I just sort of played to the way I was most comfortable dealing with people, which is more one-on-one than large group settings. But yeah, I had fun. I had a lot of fun and I learned so much and my head is still spinning like with things I want to do.
So...

00:14:16 - Maelisa Hall
Did you meet any people there that like wanted to follow up with just because you were interested in their business or because you connected or anything? And it's okay if you didn't, but you know.

00:14:26 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah. I've followed up with a couple of people that I've tried to do my interviews for the podcast as much as I can through the end of the year. So yeah, just so I have one less thing to do now that school has started. So yeah, I've actually followed up with, I want to say four or five people from podcast movement to talk to them about being either guests on their show or them on my show and Facebook lives and stuff like that.

00:14:51 - Amber Hawley
Was there anybody that you connected with on more of a personal level?

00:14:54 - Stacey Ogden
Yes and no. It's hard. It's very... in a group setting like that, when everything is so busy and noisy, it's hard for me to make those like really personal connections, but there's definitely people I want to like stay in touch with.

00:15:08 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I agree with that. And even as an ENFP, you know, cause we're considered the most introverted extroverts and I do find it like overwhelming partially because of the ADHD, I get distracted. Right. But it's usually those little, the reason I guess I say it like that is I will meet people and you just have that experience.
It could be like a five minute conversation. I'm like, I'm just something, I really liked that person. There's just something there. And so those are the relationships that I tend to put a little more energy into or kind of nurture because it's just like, I personally connected with them.
Right. Yeah. And so those are, I guess, for, you know, the listener out there for you to think about, like, do you have those moments? Like, I think capitalize on that. And sometimes, you know, you explore it and it doesn't go anywhere. It's not always going to go somewhere.
It's like dating, but sometimes it does, you know?

So, but I still think that's great that, you know, that's a very intimidating thing to show up at a huge conference like that by yourself. Yes. I gave myself a gold star for that. Definitely. That's a gold, a big gold star and maybe a martini. I don't know.

00:16:12 - Maelisa Hall
I know. I mean, even Amber and I didn't do that because we went with one another, right? Which does make it a lot easier. I know for sure. And we kind of bring out like the funny in one another a little bit better too. So I feel like we truly do make one another better people at those things, which is why you're here because you want to have that going on too.
So I guess the reason I was wondering about that, because that's kind of like an easy place to start is if you have the connections from podcast movement. It's great that you have a podcast. So there are people you can follow up with just to see about interviews.
I mean, that's one thing that makes it easy. And then if you have a good time on an interview, you can talk to people more. But also, it doesn't even have to be anything like that. It could be a quick, easy, Hey, I just wanted to check in and see how things are going for you.
It was so great to meet you.

And then it could be as simple as that. And then just see if people write you back. And that doesn't take a lot of time, which we already know you're so good at managing. But it doesn't take a lot of energy either. You don't have to overthink it and all of that.
So I think it might be worth even going through business cards or your contact list or whatever from podcast movement. And maybe somebody pops up to you and you're like, Oh yeah, I forgot about that person. Let me just... drop them one of those quick little notes, even if they're not somebody who would be a good fit for an interview either way.
Right. That's a good idea.

00:17:35 - Stacey Ogden
And it's one of those things like, and I don't know if I'm like the only weirdo that does this, but when I think about it, sometimes I get in my own head about contacting people, about reaching out to people because I'm like, I don't want to hear from me.
They're busy. They've got so much going on. And then I have to remind myself that I would want to hear from them or I would want to hear from somebody who just... wants to say hello or, you know, so I have to take a step back sometimes.

00:18:01 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. I mean, how many people emailed you after podcast movement?

00:18:04 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah.

00:18:05 - Maelisa Hall
Like less than five, I'm sure.

00:18:06 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Maybe three or four. Yeah.

00:18:10 - Amber Hawley
Right. Which is normal. Like most of us either hear nothing or like no follow-up or very little, right?

00:18:16 - Stacey Ogden
Right.

00:18:16 - Amber Hawley
And that's because everybody does. I think a lot of people feel what you said. They feel like, oh, like, They don't want to hear from me or, oh, we only talked for a couple minutes or I don't really have anything to say. Or they worry that they're bothering people.
I hear that all the time and especially from women. Like, I don't want to bother them. And, you know, I think that's something we do a lot. And... That's one of those things you had such a great response to it is to put yourself in the other person's shoes of how would that feel for me?
Because we all get that anxiety. I get that too. Sometimes I'm like, oh, what am I going to say? Like, I don't want to because you know, I'm not going to do the wrong thing, which we're doing an episode about and like ask something from somebody in like a way that doesn't help them at all.
Right? Like my Facebook page. Yeah, can you give me feedback for free?

We're not going to do that, right? But at the same time, we would love for someone to just be like, hey, it was so great meeting you. It feels good. We all want to feel like somebody met us and remembered us. And it's just that touch point is what we call it, right?
And so many people want that. And I do think a lot of people get caught up in their head about that. And they think, oh, well, if they want to, they'll follow up with me. And I hear that a lot. And, you know, so that's why we're always encouraging. It's not just the eyes.
E's do it too. But I do think not relying on, oh, somebody else needs to follow up with me. It's like, you've got to be willing to put yourself out there too. And I think most people want to hear from people.

00:19:44 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah. I mean, I know I want to hear from people and it's weird how we turn it around on ourselves. Like, well, nobody wants to hear from me. Like I want to hear from other people, but nobody wants to hear from me.

00:19:55 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. I think a lot of us, a lot of us feel that way. And like I said, especially women, just working with them where, you know, even in my private therapy practice, it's like people trying to make new friendships because I live in Silicon Valley and there's a lot of transplants and they're trying to make relationships as adults and it's very hard and I'm constantly giving that feedback.
So I like that you had the awareness though, like, hey, wait, I would want this. And then you just do it. You know, you rip the bandaid off, you give yourself a little reward or whatever, you know, to make it like, okay, I'm just going to send, you know, I can't, have that martini.
I don't know why I'm talking about martinis, honestly.

00:20:30 - Maelisa Hall
I don't know why you talk about martinis. I've never even seen you drink one.

00:20:34 - Amber Hawley
No. You know what it was? I will admit that this morning while I was drinking coffee, I was watching Steve Harvey. I was watching Celebrity Family Feud and dry martini was one of the answers. So I think that's why it's in my head. That's why I normally don't.
But You give yourself that reward, whatever it is. It can be anything. Maybe it is watching the Kardashians or whatever it is. I don't care. But yeah, set that goal and say, okay, I'm going to contact these three people, you know, or whatever that is.
And I know for like Melissa and I, we did reach out to, we made a list when we were together a couple weekends ago and we recorded some videos and reached out, just sent little video snippets to people. And, you know, as like a fun follow-up. and, you know, things like that.
And people love it. I mean, we sent one to a guy who's got a pretty big following and we met him for a few minutes in a talk and he recorded a video back for us and he absolutely loved it.

And now, you know, so it's just kind of, and he didn't even go to podcast movement, but we sent him one anyway. Yeah. Because we're like, this is, it's just fun. It's again, like people like that. They want to hear from people and not when it's just like, oh, can you do this for me?
Or, you know, not somebody trying to demand something from you. So I highly encourage that. So why don't you tell us a little bit more, like what are some things that you're into or kind of give us ideas of... Because you want to meet somebody as a biz bestie, in my opinion, even though everyone structures it different.
I think it's nice when you share some interests or have some passions that are similar, because then it just has an easier connection, right?

00:22:10 - Stacey Ogden
Yes.

00:22:11 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, definitely.

00:22:12 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah, I mean, well, I'm a music teacher, so obviously I like music. What's your favorite kind of music? That's probably a hard question. Oh, gosh. Well, it depends on the mood that I'm in, but a pretty much go-to standard would be Billy Joel, like any time of the day or night.
Nice. Nice.

00:22:28 - Amber Hawley
Yeah.

00:22:28 - Stacey Ogden
Actually that was playing in the OR when my daughter was born. Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, it was a bit of a surprise. So we had an emergency C-section and the doctor was like, what kind of music do you like? And I was like, I like Billy Joel. So he put on, he pulled out his phone and put on Billy Joel for me.

00:22:45 - Amber Hawley
I love it. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Billy Joel. Love it.

00:22:51 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah, I'm a dog lover. And let's see, I really enjoy movies, although I don't get to go a whole lot with as much as I have going on. Yeah, and I just, I like someone who's okay with silence. You know what I mean? Like, you don't have to be talking all the time to be, like, in the same room together.
This is one of the things that my husband and I have down, like, at this point. Like, we talk, and then it's just quiet for a while, and then we can talk again. Are we a little overwhelming then?

00:23:29 - Amber Hawley
No. I was like, the only way that happens with Melissa and I is because we have food in our mouth or somebody has actually left the room. Yeah.

00:23:40 - Maelisa Hall
I know. I know. But that, I think little things like that, like little nuances are super important, right? Like what are the things that drive you nuts about people? And what are the things that when you're like, you have certain friendships or certain relationships, you're like, this is so refreshing.

00:23:56 - Stacey Ogden
Yes. Yeah. You know, one of the things that drives me nuts is people who are late. Like it drives me crazy. My husband's a constant late person and it drives me nuts, you know, but I've, we've been married 10 years now. So it's like, okay. Now he says he's going to be home at 6, so I know he's going to be home at 7.
Oh, that's pretty late.

00:24:17 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. So you definitely have the time thing down.

00:24:20 - Stacey Ogden
Yes. Yes, I do. Yep. You know, I tend to like people who are just more casual, not so foofy. You know, it's, I don't know. I mean, I'm pretty easygoing when it comes to getting to know people. I guess I'm kind of looking for someone else who is easygoing and not really high-strung and not like, let's go, go, go, go, go all the time.
Yeah.

00:24:46 - Amber Hawley
Wonderful. And it is important to know yourself and kind of, yeah, what works well with you. Because there are those times where you just meet people and they're so very different and it works, but it's always easier if there's a lot of similarity and overlap.
So in your business, is your goal... And you might not know this or maybe... I mean, you might, but is your goal to be able to launch your side hustle to be full-time and be able to leave teaching, do you think?

00:25:14 - Stacey Ogden
It's an idea I have in my head, but I'm not set that it's something that I definitely want. I think it depends on a lot of things. One, I would like to go part-time at some point so that I'm working at the school in the mornings and then I have the afternoons to work on the business.
So that's something I'm working towards, still a ways away. But Yeah. Right now my job provides the benefits for our family. So that's a huge thing. Sure.

00:25:41 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And the reason I ask is we find that it's very helpful if your biz bestie has the same pace as you. So whether that's, you know, there are a lot of people out there who like you are keeping a job because of benefits or they love it. the work that they do and they want something else because they're multi-passionate or they want to earn extra income or whatever it's for, but they don't fully have this intention to be able to leave that full-time job.
And so I think that that's a different kind of person than the person who's like, oh no, my goal is in the next six months and then be full-time because I think those are going to be two different paces that people are at.

00:26:24 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah. I mean, I'm definitely ambitious. I definitely want to see growth and I definitely want to move my business forward. I'm just not certain that it's all I would want to do.

00:26:35 - Amber Hawley
Right. Yeah. And that's the thing. It doesn't mean that you're not growing because I think a lot of people are doing that and they want to grow things. And it still could work for somebody who's doing that. But I think that's something to think about is somebody who really has that side hustle and has that multi-passion.
I think they would really... you would get them and they would get you, right? Because it's like, oh, I don't want to just do the one thing.

00:26:55 - Stacey Ogden
Yes. Yeah. I actually will drive around in my car and I'll think of an idea of something I want to do that's completely out of left field, off the grid. What are you thinking about? And it's never going to happen, but it just comes into my head because I saw a sign for, I don't know, a barbershop.
I was like, oh, I could do something for this. I've never even been in a barbershop.

00:27:21 - Maelisa Hall
Or yeah, you drive by and you're like, oh, office space for lease. And you're like, that's a really big space. That could be...

00:27:30 - Amber Hawley
I know. But see, it's fun to be able to talk to somebody about that stuff. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was thinking I would probably start some kind of blog vlog about going financially independent because I'm following all this FI stuff. And it was going to be all kinds of crazy things I had fully out in my brain.
And then now I'm like, yeah, probably not. Yeah. It was a super good idea for like three days though.

00:27:54 - Maelisa Hall
Yes. Yes. Which she did tell me about. But I think too, I think back to the episode we did last season with Vicki Maris and talking about how you want to have that balance of, yeah, probably someone else who also has a side hustle. Probably it sounds like someone with a goal of maybe eventually having that be their full-time business or maybe their permanent goal is that maybe because they have kids, like they want their side hustle to always be a side hustle, but to be like a main focus of theirs, right?
But you don't want a newbie at the same time because you've been doing this for a long time. And yeah, and you're talking about like coding and all this kind of stuff. And you don't want someone where you're like having to walk them through like how to set up a website.

00:28:36 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah, I don't want to be a mentor. I want to be a friend. Yes.

00:28:40 - Maelisa Hall
Boom, mic drop. Hashtag quotable.

00:28:44 - Amber Hawley
Oh, yes. Hashtag loving it.

00:28:49 - Maelisa Hall
This is the season of hashtags, FYI, everyone.

00:28:51 - Amber Hawley
We're a little obsessed. We're annoyingly obsessed with them. I do apologize. But it's true. And that is an important thing. Yeah, you've been in business for a long time and you're doing a lot of that nitty gritty stuff. And so you want somebody where there's going to be reciprocation.
And it might not be that... they may have other skill sets that aren't your strengths. Like, you know, I could see you finding somebody who's really great about PR and launching might be a real benefit. Oh, yeah. And then you help them with the tech stuff.
So I think it can be a symbiotic thing, but I agree. I feel like you being with somebody who has something that's established is going to be important.

00:29:31 - Maelisa Hall
And I'm curious if you thought about the time thing too. Like how much time do you feel like you have to dedicate to this? And is it something that you envision... talking to someone every day or do you envision it being like a structured weekly thing or a structured monthly thing?

00:29:46 - Stacey Ogden
I think in my world, it has to be structured of some kind because that's just how I roll. But also because, you know, if I don't have that structure, then it just doesn't happen. So... That would probably be something where it'd be that, but daily, I don't think I could get into just because there's, you know, I don't talk to my husband daily.
There are times he's working nights and we just don't see each other. It's like, yeah. So daily, I think would be a little bit too much for me, but something weekly or bi-weekly would probably be a good fit.

00:30:19 - Amber Hawley
Okay. Awesome. Yeah. And those are such good things to kind of be aware of. So as you start meeting people, and I think it's like one of those things where I think the first step is noticing those sparks when you just feel like, oh, I really like this person or I just feel, you know, they were cool or I enjoyed talking to them.
And you start just kind of having those touch points or exploring time with them more or having conversations and then seeing, you know, Is this somebody that could potentially do that? And we've had other biz besties who've been on, actually Julie and Nikki, where they talked about...
One of them reached out and said, Hey, do you want to be my accountability partner? And that's kind of how it started. Which sounds like that might be a really good way for you to do it too. Because in that, they were very structured that they had a meeting every Friday.

And that's where... it gave that space because yeah, you're a very busy person. And so like having that on the calendar, so you know it'll happen and then letting things kind of grow from there. So that might be something too.

00:31:19 - Stacey Ogden
Yep. I remember listening to that as well. Thinking about, yeah, that sounds like something that would be worthwhile. Having that date on the calendar that's just there. They even have a structure to their calls. Like, you know, they talk about their wins first and all that stuff.

00:31:35 - Amber Hawley
So yeah, Yes. So you, I feel like you need a J. I was like, oh my gosh, that sounds so overwhelming. I mean, I just can't go on my tirade about random stuff.

00:31:49 - Maelisa Hall
Although Julie is an ENFP.

00:31:51 - Amber Hawley
That's true.

00:31:52 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. I mean, I think structure is, we know this, structure is beneficial for everyone. I know. But there is an important match there, right? Of like, Yeah, of someone who is more comfortable with that. And I think it is easier when you're reaching out to start out that way.
And I really liked how they also had a time. They said, hey, let's try this out. Yes.

00:32:14 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah, it was like a trial bestie period.

00:32:17 - Amber Hawley
Yes. I think that is so smart. We liked the idea so much. Actually, I make jokes that we're never structured, but we are actually sometimes. We actually are putting together with another woman, a mastermind, like a peer-led mastermind. And we're being very...
thoughtful about that, about meeting people and talking and there's no promises to see, is this going to be a good fit? And I think taking that approach ultimately is a really good idea. So now we just need to get you out there more.

00:32:47 - Stacey Ogden
Yes. You need to get out of my introversion.

00:32:50 - Amber Hawley
Exactly. I was like, we got to leave your eye behind, my friends. You have it in you because you went to the podcast movement. That's a big deal. So you traveled states to put yourself in that uncomfortable position.

00:33:01 - Stacey Ogden
So I think we can get you out there. Yes. Although I will say it was definitely a pleasure having a hotel room to myself for four nights. Yeah. That was a benefit. So I got to do the socializing thing and put myself out there during the day. And then I got to go home and home and, you know.
Which is smart.

00:33:21 - Amber Hawley
That's the self-care piece. But so yeah, putting yourself out there and like Melissa said in the beginning, thinking about are there people that you kind of connected with there? And now I think as you grow this business among moms chapter is going to be, I think you're going to be meeting people in that capacity.
And the nice thing about that it is, is structured endeavor. Yes.

00:33:43 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. So I think all of these events are kind of a great place to start. And I think allowing yourself to start out with just some quick little chats and scheduling coffee chats, scheduling online meetings with people, scheduling, or even doing those little email check-ins, like we mentioned, you know, like just doing some quick and easy things.
Yes. Email sounds safe. Yeah. Yeah. And then you kind of, and then you just see where it goes, right? And you're just kind of putting out feelers and all these different areas with people you meet through BAM, through Business Among Moms, with people you met at Podcast Movement.
And even I would say like, we are all in this Facebook group together through BizChicks, like, you know, put it out there. Maybe if there are certain people that you have, peruse the group and you're like, oh, that person sounds really cool.

Let me just reach out to them and see if they want. And I think for you, it might also be helpful to remind yourself that this is a business task. So maybe it's helpful to say, okay, I'm going to spend half an hour on this day just looking through that Facebook group and looking up people who I think sound really interesting or offered something really valuable.
And I'm like, oh, hey, you know, for some reason, I'm just drawn to them and maybe I'll reach out to them.

00:34:59 - Stacey Ogden
Okay. I think I can handle that.

00:35:00 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And, you know, I don't know. I think that also like Facebook Messenger, I like that too, because it's casual, right? Like, so sometimes that can be even more casual than an email, but email is still great. Like we said, we emailed people videos, but when we could, we send them through Facebook Messenger because that is, there's something about the ease of that, but I am a Facebook person, so that's probably why.
But I was thinking the same thing about, because you're in The Nest, right? Yes, yeah. Yes, that's what I thought because I've seen, yeah, you on the things is like, I know there's not a ton of interaction when we're doing some of those meetings, but being on there and again, it's just like, oh yeah, I kind of like their vibe or something they're talking about and then just kind of follow up and do that coffee chat thing.
I think that can be good. Or even just an exchange. It doesn't have to be, you don't have to commit to a first date.

You definitely, you can vet them online for a while and see, you know, but I think you are involved and you are putting yourself out there in different areas and different places. So I think that's great. And just now taking it to the next level. like taking it to a little more of that one-on-one.
So because you do participate in those online Facebook groups. And so like if you see somebody commenting regularly or you're like, oh, I like their response or the way they're thinking about something and just kind of taking it that next step. And it could be just responding to that, you know, and giving them a fun emoji or letting them know.
Like sometimes I've made friends like that. You just respond with a really awesome GIF and they're like, yeah, you rock. I'm like, yeah, I do.

00:36:34 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah.

00:36:35 - Amber Hawley
And then next thing you know, a friendship blossoms.

00:36:42 - Maelisa Hall
But yeah, I think you have like steps one and maybe even two down, you know, now it's like you're basically at the take it to the next level stage.

00:36:50 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah. Yeah. And actually I was thinking about the Facebook messenger thing because it kind of reminds me, I met my husband on eHarmony back in the day when eHarmony, like before internet dating was like a thing, it was still kind of untalked about. So like five years ago, he would have been really embarrassed if I said that on a show.
But now it's like everyone meets that way.

00:37:11 - Amber Hawley
All right.

00:37:12 - Stacey Ogden
Yeah. So, but we met and they have this structured process of like you write to the person and you have questions that you can answer. And they have this whole structured process to go through of like, you know, text and then you go to voice and then you go to meeting in person.
And I feel like Facebook Messenger really allows for that too, because then you can start with the writing and then you can do a little voice message to them through Facebook Messenger now, which I love that feature. I know. And then you can go to, you know, the next step.
Absolutely.

00:37:45 - Maelisa Hall
And even the Facebook thing, like that's like, if you are on Facebook now, a good amount, not that you're wasting time on Facebook all the time or something, but if that is a go-to place for you, then reaching out through Facebook Messenger is a great way because if they don't reach back out to you via Facebook Messenger and they're not on Facebook that much, then they might not be a good fit.
That's true.

00:38:08 - Amber Hawley
Yes. We basically eliminate anyone not on Facebook as being potential friends.

00:38:13 - Maelisa Hall
Well, basically, because I know sometimes Amber, I will have times where I'm not on Facebook for a few days in a row. And then Amber, it causes, not that it causes a riff in our relationship, but it's definitely an issue because she'll be like, I can't believe you didn't see this yet.
And then it's like, we'll have to talk about something. And then it's so much easier when we're both on it around the same amount of time.

00:38:38 - Amber Hawley
Exactly. Because then I have to text her and then it's like the same messages in two places. And then I can't tell her about my wonderful blog idea that I was going to start. And it was a big deal. I just was dying to tell someone besides my husband.

00:38:54 - Maelisa Hall
But it's also a great place to help one another out too, right? If you see someone's post and then you can offer some encouragement or... or you see something and you can tag them because you're like, Oh, Hey, so-and-so like does this, like check them out.
You know, it's, it is a great way to support one another when you're both on it.

00:39:13 - Stacey Ogden
Yes. Agreed. As much as people like to complain about Facebook being, you know, the evil of the world, it really, I'm on there quite a bit.

00:39:22 - Amber Hawley
Me too.

00:39:23 - Stacey Ogden
And I think they're listening, in which case I'm never on there.

00:39:28 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. Exactly. Yes, it is. I think there are so many wonderful things that happen because of Facebook and it makes it so much easier to connect and maintain relationships with people. So I do love it. Of course, there's a downside to everything and it's all how you use it.
But I think that that's a good idea because then you can start in the group and it's like you start exchanging comments even on somebody's Page or feed, or group or whatever, and then you just send them a friend request, you know, and that's not a unheard of thing.
And so then you, just like you said, the baby steps of building that relationship. I think that's a really smart idea.

00:40:04 - Maelisa Hall
I love it, so I just realized what time it is. So I guess we need to wrap things up because time has flown. While we've been chatting, it has, oh my gosh.

00:40:17 - Amber Hawley
So I feel like we've talked about a few different things. Like Melissa said, I feel like you've got a good start on starting to... You have the network and now it's just taking things to the next level and taking that risk. And so do you feel like you have some good thoughts about what to do next?

00:40:35 - Stacey Ogden
I do. I've got a couple of places I'm thinking of already to start at.

00:40:39 - Amber Hawley
Awesome. Well, we are so glad that you joined us. And... we're excited to hear what happens and anybody out there who would like to, you know, reach out to Stacey, let us know. And it happened for Vicky on our first one, like that day that the episode dropped, somebody reached out to her, which was so exciting.
Oh my goodness. Yeah.

00:41:00 - Stacey Ogden
Like on her way to work. Cause now I'm going to feel like a loser if nobody reaches out.

00:41:05 - Maelisa Hall
Oh no. But where, where should people go to find out more about you? Like if they want to check out your podcast or if they want to check out your website.

00:41:13 - Stacey Ogden
Well, the podcast Busy Mom Collective is on pretty much everywhere. You can listen to podcasts, Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, the Stitcher, whatever it is. And my site is busymomcollective.com and I'm Busy Mom Collective on Facebook.

00:41:28 - Maelisa Hall
Nice and easy. Branding.

00:41:30 - Stacey Ogden
Hashtag branding.

00:41:31 - Amber Hawley
Hashtag branding. I was just, you beat me to it.

00:41:34 - Maelisa Hall
Okay. I'm even wearing a brand color right now, by the way.

00:41:39 - Amber Hawley
Nice. That's how you roll. That's how you roll. So thank you again for being here. We can't wait. So we can't wait to hear the follow-up and see how things are going and you kind of taking those next steps. We can't wait to hear about it. If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend.
Spread the love, people.