Find Me a Business Bestie with Vickie Maris

00:00:24 - Amber Hawley
Welcome to season two of the My Biz Bestie podcast. I'm Amber Hawley.

00:00:28 - Maelisa Hall
And I'm Melissa Hall.

00:00:30 - Amber Hawley
And today we are going to have an amazing episode. We're with the lovely Vicki Maris, and we're going to be talking about how to find your own biz bestie.

00:00:40 - Maelisa Hall
We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for this very special announcement.

00:00:45 - Amber Hawley
How would you like to spend three days and nights in a luxury setting in La Jolla, California? This will be an epic version of a GSD retreat.

00:00:55 - Maelisa Hall
Join us and four other women as you work on a major project for three days totally uninterrupted and all while having access to feedback and support along the way.

00:01:06 - Amber Hawley
You don't have to worry about a thing because everything, and I mean everything, is going to be taken care of for you. All you have to do is show up and be ready to be pampered and get in the zone to get all your stuff done.

00:01:19 - Maelisa Hall
It's all happening September 20th to the 23rd, 2018. For more information, head on over to mybizbestie.com forward slash retreat.

00:01:29 - Amber Hawley
But don't delay because there's only five slots and you know people want to hang out with us. So you better head on over. Plus, we're offering a super special discount for those of you who sign up before June 15th. So we are going to be coaching Vicki through this on getting her a BizBestie.
Welcome, Vicki.

00:01:48 - Vickie Maris
Thank you so much. I'm really glad to be here and I've been looking forward to this for quite a while. That's exciting.

00:01:55 - Amber Hawley
I know we met at Social Media Marketing World and she was talking about how she wanted a BizBestie. We're like, we should interview you and talk about how to do it.

00:02:04 - Maelisa Hall
I know. We were like, oh, that could be an episode. And then we've heard from so many of you who would like help with that. So this is just perfect timing and I'm super excited.

00:02:16 - Amber Hawley
Yes, and we may need to do this again in the future with some of the other people as well. This may be a second podcast for you. Maybe it's just a monthly episode, right? The Find Me a Bestie. That would be fun. It's like a dating service for besties, which is what I really wanted to do anyway.
I think we talked about this before about how a lot of times clients will say that to me. It's like, I wish I could hook them up with these other people that I know that are so amazing, but because of confidentiality, I can't. we need to start like Friendster or something.
I know, because we all need more to take on. Yes. Yes, not really. And Vicki is no exception to that, as you will see here. So Vicki, please share a little bit about yourself with our listeners. Thank you.

00:03:05 - Vickie Maris
I would be glad to do that. And thanks again for inviting me to be on the show. I am was asking you earlier, which facet of Vicki Maris do you think we ought to share? Because there are several. I have a lots of different, gosh, I can't even get the words around it.
Yeah, lots of different hats that I wear. So I work full time in a university, which happens to be a two and a half hour drive away from where my husband and I live on a farm. And I've owned this farm since 1987. and it is near and dear to my heart. I have raised Connemara ponies, the native pony of Ireland, for decades now.
I'm going to give away my age, but I've had them in my life since I had a pony growing up, and you will probably hear throughout the episode here that I don't do anything halfway.

I So, you know, if you have a pony growing up, of course you have to breed and raise them later, right? Right now I'm really not raising them. I have two on my farm. I have my 31 year old Connemara stallion that I've had since he was one. His name is Carrie Moore Madison.
And I have a mare that I got a couple of years ago and have been training her for Liberty work. which is new to me. So I showed English as a kid and jumped and did a little bit of combined training. But as an adult, I've gotten so interested in these past few years in liberty work, which is no tack on the horse.
So no saddle or bridle or lead rope. And Kiriko is learning to communicate with me through body language and verbal cues and breath.

00:04:54 - Amber Hawley
And it is...

00:04:55 - Vickie Maris
Just fascinating to me, and I also in my day job, so in my life as a business executive. I also teach a workshop about leadership lessons and team dynamics and communications that you can draw from animals. And so she's a bit of my, you might call her, you know, my experiment, so to speak, so, you know, I try things on her.
My husband and I also have 11 llamas here on the farm and some rabbits and a cat named Frank. who may appear at any moment during this recording.

00:05:28 - Amber Hawley
It wouldn't be our first cat to crash our podcast. Yeah, my cats kind of crash the podcast frequently.

00:05:34 - Vickie Maris
Yes. Oh, Frank is great at that. I think he might be outside right now. So let's hope he's out hunting or something. So that's kind of the farm and work life. So I have been really blessed in that in my work life at the university, I'm in a relatively new position that I started in November last And they agreed for me to do a partial telecommute.
So I do get to do some of my work from my home office in the farmhouse. And then the rest of it, I'm at the university. Actually, the bulk of it, I'm at the university. I drive up there once, though I don't do that two and a half hour drive every day.
So I drive up there once and I have a place where I stay up there when I'm in that community. On top of that, my husband and I both have elderly parents. My mother-in-law is dealing with Alzheimer's and my father-in-law is helping her through all of that.

And so we're kind of, well, not just us, but my brother-in-law and sister-in-law also, we're all helping them deal with that. And my mother is quite healthy and doing well, but we'll have her 96th birthday next month.

00:06:40 - Amber Hawley
Wow.

00:06:41 - Vickie Maris
And I'm the daughter that lives the closest to her. So I, and my husband and I both help a lot with things that she needs. Okay, I'm going to make this quicker. I have archived the stories of my mom and her husband, my dad, Jim, and their life during the 1940s when he was a B-24 bomber pilot in World War II.
And he had written his memoirs about his missions. And then I've taken the memoirs and have been working on incorporating my mom's stories into as she was stateside and have been running those parallel and the creation that I'm working on, it's not a finished creation yet, but I have interviewed her for my podcast and it was kind of cute.
A lot of the people that were quite interested in hearing her stories didn't understand how to listen to a podcast.

00:07:34 - Amber Hawley
I totally understand that. My parents still think we're just on Facebook. They think our Facebook lives are the podcast.

00:07:43 - Vickie Maris
Okay. Yes. So that leads me to the last little bit I'll share. And that is my husband and I are both musicians and perform. We have a seven piece band. We perform with Scott Greeson and Trouble with Monday. And we perform mostly in the warmer months. We do a lot of outdoor concert venues and fairs and festivals.
And in Indiana, that means our season is different. mid-May through about mid-October or so. And then we do songwriting during the winter months to bring in fresh material for the following season. But my husband is a wonderful recording artist as well as a singer-songwriter and musician.
And he said to me, you know, Vicki, we could create a CD out of all those great recordings. And I think your mom's friends could play a CD.

00:08:30 - Amber Hawley
I'm like, oh, what a great idea.

00:08:33 - Vickie Maris
Yeah. So we did turn her stories into a two-disc audio set that's also available in all the typical places where you can find music.

00:08:42 - Amber Hawley
That is awesome. What's the name of your podcast?

00:08:45 - Vickie Maris
Well, I almost hesitate because my podcast has evolved. So I feel silly sharing the name. I want to rename it to Random Thoughts of Vicki Maris.

00:08:55 - Amber Hawley
I can totally understand that.

00:08:58 - Vickie Maris
Because I cannot seem to hone in on something. My first show was called Heart Song Fit. And I am going to bring that one down, but I have, I'm going to save several of the recordings and then repurpose them in my second show is called Online Course Connections.
And my, so that we're going back to my day job. I am a learning experience designer and a marketing person, really fascinated in the uses of social media in the overall marketing mix and have studied that for several years. I've So I just, oh gosh, there's just so many directions I could go.

00:09:35 - Amber Hawley
I think I just totally lost my train of thought right there.

00:09:39 - Vickie Maris
I love it though.

00:09:40 - Amber Hawley
You wouldn't be the first entrepreneur to pivot even if mid-sentence. So many ideas.

00:09:50 - Vickie Maris
Way too many. All my friends tell me, niche down, niche down. Our friend Natalie shared with me at Social Media Marketing World that Vicki, it would be okay if you don't pursue a business, if you don't have a podcast, you know, because I also really love to churn the revenue for, you know, bring in revenue for my employer and try new things.
I'm very much an innovator and love to share ideas and tackle new ways to do things. And so when you're putting that much energy into your day job, sometimes there's not a That's a struggle I've had a long time. I was telling my mom I was going to be on your show and she said, well, you probably should tell them that I've been telling you to cut things out of your list since you were like three.

00:10:45 - Amber Hawley
So our moms have talked. And my answer to that is maybe next year. Yeah. Well, see, this would be the benefit of having a business support system, even if you're not quite sure what that business is, because it's having that person to bounce ideas off of and help you, I think, you know, streamline or focus in the moment.
Right. And I think it's okay to be, I consider it like the Renaissance woman thing. And it's like you're multi-passionate, but, you know, maybe not everything becomes something that you profit off of or make money off of. but just things that you're exploring because you genuinely love them.
Yeah.

00:11:28 - Maelisa Hall
For the sake of creativity.

00:11:30 - Vickie Maris
Yes. I have a sense of curiosity about things that just won't stop. So it gets to me sometimes. Are you guys familiar with Brian Fanzo and his podcast?

00:11:43 - Maelisa Hall
No.

00:11:43 - Vickie Maris
I heard him do an episode one time, I think it was last summer, where he was talking about just the opposite of not niching down, that it's okay to have lots of things that you're interested in and his personality is that way. And I actually burst into tears when I was listening to that episode because I could so relate to what he was saying and like, oh, that is me.
Like I don't have just one keynote talk. I have more than one that I like to do.

00:12:13 - Amber Hawley
Absolutely. And when you have a lifetime of experiences and things that you're interested in, I think when you are an innately curious person, that's going to be a harder thing to do. I haven't heard him, but Seth Godin has talked about this. It might've even been a year ago that I listened to that episode.
He was being interviewed by someone else. And there's a book called Refuse to Choose. So I was recommended, somebody told me to read that because I think that same thing where sometimes it's really hard to focus, even though we know theoretically, yes, if you're going to make a business, it's more helpful for people to understand like what, what it is you do and what they can send your way.
But when you just want to explore and have hobbies and just do lots of different things, I think there's nothing wrong with that.

00:12:57 - Maelisa Hall
I'm glad to hear you say that. Yeah. Well, and I think that's where it's Like it is helpful when you have that biz bestie who can kind of remind you of those things. Because I know when I was working full time and then had my business and then had another business and when I would feel bad about something or feel like I should be doing more, a lot of times Amber would remind me, she'd be like, like I would especially feel like I was behind, you know, like, oh, I've had this business for three years and yet this is what it looks like.
And she would like be like, yeah, but you've also been working full time. And she would be like, so she would kind of check me and I would be like, okay, yeah, you're right. But without that person who I think knows what you're doing a little more in depth and knows what your goals are behind things, which not everyone knows, then it can be difficult because you're looking at everyone else from the outside too.

00:13:48 - Amber Hawley
Mm-hmm. So for you, then you had said you were looking for that business support system. You were wanting to find that biz bestie of sorts. So say a little bit more about what you had told us when we met you at the social media marketing world.

00:14:01 - Vickie Maris
I am really hungry to have conversation. I definitely am someone who likes to talk, likes to share ideas. And with somebody who has an interest in any one of those subjects I just mentioned, but particularly in the digital marketing space, who is familiar with podcasting, I get honestly exhausted.
Even when I have people, friends who are kind of interested in what I do, but I feel like I have to start from scratch in describing what a lot of this is. Even if I go to something, for instance, that is super basic for me, and that's an online course.
I took online courses as part of my master's degree back in the early 2000s, but I still run into people today who think online courses are... a brand new technology.

And that's okay. I'm glad that people are coming on board and that they're interested, but I would love to have somebody in my life on really a daily basis that I wouldn't have to bring up to speed on what it is I'm doing before we can have the conversation.

00:15:06 - Amber Hawley
Well, and that's the thing. There's not a reciprocity there. And it's more like you're teaching as opposed to having a connection where you get excited and kind of share with one another. I think that's the difference. There are those people in your network that you're going to be kind of a mentor of sorts to them or they're just going to learn things from you.
But then what you need to have as a balance to that is people that in your more closely knit support system that actually are at the same level. That's not the right words. I don't mean to say better or worse, but they're at the same speed you are as far as dealing with this technology and the things that you're interested in.

00:15:43 - Vickie Maris
Yes. And the other piece of that, I would love to get your input on this, is it seemed like it might be a good idea for me to find somebody who is also building their business on the side versus somebody who's building their business full-time. Because I feel like then I might be slowing them down because I'm devoting 45, 50 some hours a week to a position during the day.
Yeah, I would agree with that. I mean, what are your thoughts, Melissa?

00:16:11 - Maelisa Hall
I would agree too. I mean, I guess when Amber and I met, that wasn't the case because I did have a full-time job, but she was full-time with her practice. But I think it's that pace because I had at least had my business for a few years at that point, even though it was still...

00:16:25 - Amber Hawley
Sort of a side hustle. Well, and it was your goal to transition. Like I'm not hearing from Vicki, that's her goal, right? So I think there's a very different thing when you know you're side hustling for a period of time as opposed to it being your full-time thing.

00:16:39 - Vickie Maris
Right. I really love my work at the university. And I guess there may be some point like if my business exploded and I couldn't do both of them, I might love to have that option to run my business full-time. But Right now, I love what I'm doing. It exposes me to new technology and every day I'm meeting new people and growing my network.
I just really thrive off of that type of thing. And I love the challenge of growing revenue for the university. So that's all fun for me.

00:17:11 - Maelisa Hall
And I don't think that's really that uncommon in university settings. Like a lot of people who are professors, they have another side business. Like they have, I think of psychology professors most of the time have a practice on the side or... Other people will do consulting or they'll do speaking or they'll write books that don't have to do with the university in particular.
So I think in your setting, that's actually fairly common.

00:17:39 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I even think about growing up, there were teachers who... like developed apps or developed, not apps at the time because I am older, but they developed software, I should say. And my mind went to apps. Yeah, I think there is a lot of multiple streams of income kind of thing.
And so having people like that would be really great. And there are people that they just love the environment that they're working in, whether that is academia or not, that they love their company and the culture and what they do. And so they choose to have something be on the side because they are multi-passionate, right?
I don't know. It strikes me that it feels like if somebody's full-time job was their business and you're doing it on the side and you have all these other endeavors that you're interested in, you might feel like the pace is different.

And that's the key is if you're on the same pace and you don't want to feel like you're slowing someone down or you don't want to feel like resentment or anything coming that way. So I think that that's probably a good idea would be my suggestion.

00:18:42 - Vickie Maris
I have noticed of my own personality in some of the Facebook groups that I've been a member of that I feel like people are soaring way past where I am. So I kind of disengage from the group. So I don't want that to happen with a BizFesty if I can help it.

00:18:59 - Maelisa Hall
What do you mean by that? Because I was actually just about to say you also, you wouldn't want someone who's new to the side hustle because you do sound very advanced, right? You know a lot of this stuff. You said this is your fourth time at social media marketing world.
You've been around the block as far as all this stuff goes. So can you say more about how you feel like they're going beyond you?

00:19:19 - Vickie Maris
Well, and it might also just be my perception. It could be that people are putting... they're best foot forward within the group and I'm not seeing the behind the scenes part. So it maybe just feels to me like they're way ahead of where I would like to be at the moment.

00:19:34 - Amber Hawley
And that's what I was going to say. I think that that happens way more than you think, probably 90% of the time. Because I have those moments too, where I see somebody completing something and I'm like, oh gosh, like I'm just not, I'm not at the same, not level, but you know, I'm not there.
I just haven't done that. And I do think it's that to be mindful that you're only seeing a slice of the pie. We really have no idea. So that's why getting a deeper connection with people is important. But I agree that you're not a beginner.

00:20:02 - Vickie Maris
Yeah, I've been, let's say developing products. I haven't had one particular thing that I've been able to really get it to stick and then for me to stay with it and begin to churn revenue from it. Some of that I think is my own behaviors. Like I bet I'm a little bit nervous about something actually being successful, but I just find, yeah, I don't know how to best describe that where if the other person was suddenly having all these successes and working full-time on their business, I think I would feel like, that maybe I just couldn't be contributing, speaking words into their business anymore that would be helpful.
And I realize that no relationship, maybe none of them last forever, but I would love for it to have some legs to stand on for a while.

00:20:49 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. And I think though, that is the nice part about making sure that you're getting out there and meeting a varied group of people, because it might be the person that you connect with with might surprise you, right? You might say, and I agree with you that maybe it isn't somebody with a full-time biz, but who knows, maybe as you connect with that person and you get to know, I think when we're really honest and vulnerable with one another, we realize that we all have the same struggles and concerns and, you know, they do change throughout the course of our business, but at the same time, that connection really matters.
So putting yourself out there and meeting those people, but it sounds like to me, where you would get the most support and benefit is on mindset stuff, right? Because it's about that mindset of what would it mean to be successful? And then would I have to make choices and would my life change?

Yeah.

00:21:39 - Vickie Maris
And would I be ready when it starts to change?

00:21:42 - Maelisa Hall
And it's really hard. I like, I'm getting this from you and I totally get it. And I think Amber gets it too. Like where... you, not that you are scared to commit to something, but you're scared to commit to something if it means like, oh, would I have to give this other thing up, right?
Because you have so many interests and it's like, oh, I want to be able to do it all. But then in the back of your mind, like for me, in the back of my mind, I know I can't do all of it, right? Now there are ways around that, like you hire people or you automate things or whatever, but sometimes that holds, you know, that can hold us back.

00:22:16 - Vickie Maris
Mm-hmm. Yes, I have. I keep lists all the time. I love the Notes app in my phone, and you should see all the lists I have in there of the things I should be considering giving up. I work with 4-H kids in the summertime who come out. They lease llamas from us, and they come out to practice training llamas for obstacle courses.
I didn't even know that was a thing. For fun, this has been a couple summers ago, I had a couple of the kids... I was asking them some questions about what roles they see me playing. And they came up with a lot, like way more than the number of roles any one person should be doing.
Well, that feels like a judgment. I'm just going to say. So my project this summer has, I've been trying to just chunk down little pieces of it.

So I've decided one place that I can cut back on something that does take quite a bit of my time when I'm on the farm and that is taking care of our rabbits. And that sounds silly, even saying that out loud after all the other things I've shared with you.

00:23:24 - Maelisa Hall
I don't know much about rabbits, but they might be very time consuming. And sometimes it's mental energy too, like just having something that you have to think about.

00:23:32 - Vickie Maris
Yes. And mine happened to be French Angora. So they have long hair that you have to groom and make sure they... aren't getting all matted up. And as I mentioned earlier, if I get into something, I do it properly and seriously. And so yes, Vicki shows her rabbits and she grips them.
I'm like, oh.

00:23:53 - Amber Hawley
So yes, you need to be the queen of outsourcing. If you're somebody who goes all in, you have to, unless it's like, unless you said, combing my rabbit's hair is my stress relief and it makes me feel at peace. But if it's not, if it's just another to-do list, then outsource it.

00:24:11 - Vickie Maris
Yeah. So I've bartered it this summer. Nice. So I've sold several of them into new rabbit homes. And we had a hilarious thing last week where I actually shipped, this was another breed of rabbit, little Polish rabbits, but I actually shipped two of them to Oklahoma.
Oh, wow. From Indiana. And I was grateful that my customer wanted to purchase them. But I said, I am willing to try to help you find a Polish rabbit breeder in Oklahoma that would be closer. She really wanted these two. Off they went. I love it. But anyway, I've reduced the numbers quite a bit.
And then the remaining rabbits, my 4-H kids, we've done some bartering. So they're going to help me with the rabbit feeding and care, at least for the summer. I love it.

00:24:56 - Maelisa Hall
I like it. So are you, it sounds like you would like someone that you can bounce a lot of these ideas off of and, and maybe get some feedback from as well as like the mindset stuff and, but maybe even just like talk shop a little bit, like have someone who understands, who gets a lot of this stuff.
I know I've had that with even, I think you can have biz besties that, you know, serve you in different ways. Like for example, like Amber and I both talk about how we're ENFPs with ADHD, right? And so I've had little like ADHD spirals. And I'll be on the phone with Amber and I'm like, Yeah, well, I was on this website and I was looking at jobs and like, I'm not looking for a job.
Don't even ask me why I was there. And she was like, you don't even have to explain, you know, like she just gets like, how I could randomly end up at some stupid thing. And you know, I think that's the benefit of having someone who's kind of knowledgeable and knows all that.

Yeah, so you don't have to explain to them podcasting stuff or what an online course is, or even like. you know, you can say social media marketing world and they're like, Oh yeah, I know about that one. I've thought about going or they've been or whatever.

00:25:58 - Amber Hawley
Yes. So shorthands it.

00:26:00 - Maelisa Hall
Yes.

00:26:01 - Amber Hawley
And I, hopefully I'm right in this. You too are an ENFP, correct? Yes. See, and that's part of it. You need that person that you can just like geek out and get excited about things and just like brainstorm. I mean, that is kind of our life's blood. Yes.

00:26:18 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. Yeah. And they understand that just because you talked about it doesn't mean that you want to make it a business and do whatever.

00:26:24 - Vickie Maris
I'm finding with my husband, Scott, I will say, okay, I'm just going to share a bunch of ideas with you right now. I'm not going to go put any of our money into these ideas. I just want to tell you what I came up with.

00:26:37 - Amber Hawley
And he's like, okay, I'm ready.

00:26:39 - Vickie Maris
I'm ready for the ideas.

00:26:41 - Amber Hawley
Which I will tell you is a brilliant strategy. When I work with couples and I do that with my husband as well, I qualify things. Like I'm like, okay, here we go. I'm going to share this stuff. Cause if I didn't, what I would hear is you have too much on your plate.
And I'm like, no, no, no. Don't be the killer of dreams. I'm not saying tomorrow. I'm saying one day. And you're like, I just have to get it out. Yes. I like that.

00:27:06 - Vickie Maris
Speaking of ideas, I'll tell you a mindset thing that I've been working on the past couple of weeks. I have always dreamed of having a home on a lake. And so I decided this is a way to kind of help me cope with the time I spent on the road going up to my job and coming back, which is away from my farm, which that part's really hard for me to be away.
So I've been pretending in my head that the farm is our lake home and that I actually live there. where the university is, and then I'm getting this longer weekend at my lake home. Oh, I like that. I'm trying that out. I like that. In a month or so. There's no water around here.
I know.

00:27:49 - Amber Hawley
You know, when you first said that, I thought you were going to tell me you were going to build a lake. Like, I thought that's what you were going to say. I was like, this is a woman who's just going to build a lake and it's going to happen.

00:27:59 - Vickie Maris
We do have a creek. And Scott said, well, I'm ready to put in a pond if you want.

00:28:07 - Amber Hawley
But those are those smart little mind shift hacks that can make things feel like there's more space, there's more enjoyment, more luxury, or whatever the word is that you want to use for it. I think that's a really smart thing to do. I like that. I like it.

00:28:22 - Maelisa Hall
Well, you had mentioned before we started recording that you've been doing a lot of LinkedIn. And are you... like making connections and actually like meeting people through LinkedIn, like doing any kind of phone calls or chats or anything? I haven't been taking it to that level.

00:28:40 - Vickie Maris
I have been starting back in, I think it was December or January. I love creating videos and I love creating videos with our animals in them. And I talk about lessons that I've learned from something I've done, training a llama or training one of my ponies and how I can, translate that into the work environment.
And so I got the idea, I had to start sharing some of these with, through my LinkedIn personal profile, and they have been getting a lot more traction than anything else I have shared anywhere. So more views than my podcast episodes ever got downloads, than anything I've ever put in Facebook or Instagram, anything I've ever live streamed in Periscope or Facebook Live.
So I thought, you know, I should probably pay attention to this.

Apparently it's connecting with people. Yeah. So I have not gotten very good yet at doing it on a regular schedule, but I'm still working at it. I'm giving myself permission to create the videos and upload them without a schedule until I can get a rhythm about it.
But it's a lot of fun for me to create. And so far I've, you know, had a llama over my shoulder or one of my ponies with me or something.

00:29:53 - Amber Hawley
Well, and sometimes, you know, because you do have so many things going on, sometimes if the goal is to find this support system or this biz bestie, it's about one, first of all, people love animals, but two, when you're letting people know about you personally, then they really connect to you.
And I think people like that authenticity. And so maybe you don't do it on a regular schedule, but you never know what could come of that. Somebody could watch those videos and be like, I love this lady and reach out to you. And it just starts the conversation.
Right. And so I think that anytime you can put yourself out there in an authentic way, people are going to respond to that. We need more of that.

00:30:32 - Vickie Maris
I agree with that. I'm going to keep going with it and see. in my eyes, I'm hoping it eventually would lead me to more speaking opportunities. I have taught sessions in many MI and I MBA programs on that topic and have had an opportunity keynote that talk down at University of Texas, Austin.
I would love to do more of that. So that was my reason behind beginning to share more of that on LinkedIn. Cause I thought, okay, that's where my strongest network is.

00:31:03 - Amber Hawley
Right.

00:31:04 - Vickie Maris
So I, I'm curious for your advice on like, how do I, if there are people that would be interested in being my biz bestie, how do I sort through all of, maybe there's only going to be one to sort through.

00:31:18 - Amber Hawley
I think there will be many, but have you gone through your LinkedIn and looked at other people's stuff to see somebody that is doing something you're interested in?

00:31:26 - Vickie Maris
I have not done that exercise yet.

00:31:29 - Amber Hawley
It's a great idea. Because I think, like you said, I feel like a lot of professionals are on there and, you know, people are putting themselves out there. And if you go through that, sometimes our biz bestie is within our network and we just haven't taken that next step.
And knowing you are an ENFP, so it is upon the ease a lot of times to reach out and start that conversation. And so I think going through just the people who are already in your network and seeing how hey, this person's doing something kind of cool. And I just want to like maybe do a virtual coffee date.
Or you could do a virtual llama date or whatever you want to do. Like something kind of fun and different, right?

00:32:07 - Maelisa Hall
Yes.

00:32:07 - Amber Hawley
Like go eat a bunch of caramels. I don't know if anyone will get that reference. No. Goodwill hunting. Hello.

00:32:14 - Maelisa Hall
Oh my gosh.

00:32:15 - Amber Hawley
I don't even know how we're besties.

00:32:16 - Maelisa Hall
I know. I know. And I'm a psychologist, so I'm supposed to be all about that movie. You should know that movie. Oh my gosh. I know. But... I think like I've actually, okay, I just actually told you that LinkedIn I've been totally ignoring recently, which I have been.
So if you've tried to reach out to me via LinkedIn, I just have not been there. But like at the very beginning of my business, I did use that and I met some people through LinkedIn because I just messaged them and it wasn't quite what it is now, but I reached out to people and said, hey, I just want to hear more about what you do and I'm making connections.
I'm just networking. And one of them has been on our podcast, Katie Vernoy. She was one of our BizBestie combos and she was a great person to meet. And we were totally online. We met in person after we'd known each other for like four years, even though we actually live within 30 minutes of one another.

But... I know. But, you know, I met other people through that. And it's like, you know, maybe I sent 20 of those messages and four people reply back. Oh, yeah, let's schedule a time to chat. But you never know what's going to come of it. And if I've seen anything from our BizBestie interviews we've done, it has been people just reaching out like that.
And then, you know, and then you connect with someone. And then other people you don't connect with, you don't have to follow up with.

00:33:35 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. Exactly. And yeah, and some of them, it was that it was like, hey, this person's an expert in this. And I want to just reach out and connect and not necessarily in the like, I want to pick your brain because that is never a good angle, right? Busy people, successful people don't, that's not so fun.
But reaching out still with something that you can offer or, you know, just saying like, I like to see what you're doing. I would love to do a little coffee date, whatever, you know, again, putting something out there, but because LinkedIn is already something you feel comfortable in utilizing where you're already comfortable, start there first.
So, you know, the Facebook group thing, I get that like, That works for us. I've seen a lot of people that have built relationships because they'll be very active in a, you know, like in a smaller group and continue to connect and then they'll connect, you know, through direct message or whatever.

But if it feels overwhelming to you or if you notice that some kind of, I would say like mindset stuff or, you know, you start to feel insecure around those big group interactions, then maybe start somewhere else. Mm-hmm. Like do that. I'm a huge fan of in-person events, but I get that depending on where you live, that that might not be as, you know, prolific.
But I think like a lot of business, you know, groups, meets and meetups, like meetup.com is a great one just to be looking for things. You know, you could even host a meetup. I'm a lot of Indiana.

00:35:00 - Maelisa Hall
Dude, we are so like on the same page because I was just thinking about that. Like, I don't know what you're... Because you're... staying near the university, it sounds like a couple of nights a week. So I don't know if you kind of just like focus in and get a lot of work done during that time or what you do, but you know, that could potentially be like, maybe you just do it once a month, you know, like, and you could start out because you are with a big university.
So you could do like a meetup that has to do with people who have a side hustle.

00:35:31 - Vickie Maris
Yeah.

00:35:32 - Amber Hawley
Social media side hustlers, like something like that. Just name it that, you know, have you ever used meetup before?

00:35:38 - Vickie Maris
I have, it's been a few years ago, but yes, I have when I was doing exercise groups as a beach body coach. Right. So there you go.

00:35:46 - Amber Hawley
Oh my gosh.

00:35:46 - Vickie Maris
Another thing. Another thing. I'm not, I'm not doing well. I'm still exercising, but I'm not doing it.

00:35:53 - Amber Hawley
But you know, the power of that, like I've intermittently used meetup for all kinds of Things, and it can be great because, yes, you can find anything on there, you know? So I think hosting a meetup is great because again, people need someone to be that initiator.
That's a hard part for a lot of people, but even doing a search, because you never know it might already exist. But I feel like it's important to kind of go with where your comfort zones are and kind of check your local network.

00:36:20 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, those are some great ideas, yeah, and then you just test it out and it's like dating, like we say, yeah. can't plan it, but you can put yourself out there. You don't have to kiss every frog like that.

00:36:34 - Amber Hawley
Remember that.

00:36:35 - Maelisa Hall
But I do. I think the reason I thought of doing it specifically near the university or when you're up there is that I've noticed a lot of the biz besties do seem to be in the same industry. And I think it's because like you're saying, they have that shorthand and they understand a lot of that stuff.
So they don't have to explain their businesses to one another. they can dive right in. So I think if you were around other people in that environment, you'd probably get a lot of that and be able to find someone. Now, I mean, with social media, maybe not so much, right?
It just depends, I think. But I could see potential there.

00:37:13 - Amber Hawley
And as you were saying that, there's also the idea of like it doesn't necessarily have to be someone in academia, somebody who's an academic. I don't know, for some reason, as we're talking, I keep thinking about Lorena would be a good fit for her. So it's just, you know what I mean?
Like there's a lot of similarity, a lot of varied interests and like pace wise, I think the energy, but so we'll follow up with that. But even listening, it made me also think about this. It was a Natalie Ekdahl podcast where she just interviewed somebody who was a She helps writers, but only writers who are academics.

00:37:50 - Maelisa Hall
Kathy Mazak is in my mastermind and she teaches other academic women.

00:37:56 - Amber Hawley
She works at a university. Yes, exactly. She had to have been on a podcast.

00:37:59 - Maelisa Hall
I was thinking of her.

00:38:00 - Amber Hawley
I just heard her story. She has a Facebook group. So joining a group that's very specific like that, and maybe you go down that route and it doesn't end up being a good place to find that person. But I think, again, go where, you know, it's easier to ride a horse in the direction it's already going, right?

00:38:15 - Vickie Maris
Yes.

00:38:16 - Amber Hawley
So follow that horse the way it's already going. And if it doesn't work, then you can make the horse churn. But I think that that might, those are some ideas around like where to kind of start prospecting. Yes.

00:38:30 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I think you just put it out there that you're, I mean, obviously you're not like, just like when you're dating, you're not like, I'm looking for a husband, but like, you know, But you are saying like, hey, if you're dating, you are saying like, I'm looking for a relationship, right?
You're telling people that you're not just into a one night stand. So in the same way, I think you say like, I'm networking. I'm looking for a good network. I'm looking to build my network. I think you can say that to people and they understand.

00:38:57 - Vickie Maris
I just thought of something fun. One of the people that's in one of my programs at the university where I'm working right now, he works for LinkedIn. Maybe we could get him to put in a plug to add searching for my biz bestie as one of the options of the dropdown for LinkedIn.
I love that. Yes.

00:39:16 - Amber Hawley
Oh my gosh. Do you think they could link back to us as well? I love that idea. But yeah, saying I'm looking to connect with somebody who wants to talk business. you know, and it's particularly social media, you know, so being a little more specific, you know, because you're probably not going to want to like talk about local brick and mortar hair salons.
That might not be a good fit, but it's having somebody who's in that same mindset. Now there are salon owners who are very social media oriented.

00:39:44 - Vickie Maris
Yes.

00:39:44 - Amber Hawley
But there are quite a few who are not. Let me assure you, I try to give them advice all the time. But yeah, I think that's a couple of places where I would start. And even if you host a meetup and, you know, maybe nobody shows the first time or, you know, maybe somebody does.
Maybe you bring, maybe get somebody that'll come with you so that if no one shows, you'd feel like you've had a fun night. But I do think that that can be the little sparks, you know, to kind of start that going.

00:40:14 - Vickie Maris
Yeah, I love that idea.

00:40:16 - Maelisa Hall
So how has this been going? I mean, because we could keep going with ideas, but you know, there's only so many.

00:40:21 - Amber Hawley
We're all ENFPs, so we could go forever.

00:40:24 - Maelisa Hall
Yes, the three of us. But how are you feeling about like having a direction to go to start this thing?

00:40:31 - Vickie Maris
I feel much better. I have several ideas I've written down. I think I'm going to make a new video for my LinkedIn profile.

00:40:38 - Amber Hawley
Yay.

00:40:39 - Vickie Maris
Probably with a llama or a pony in it. And it also occurred to me that a couple people I have interviewed on my podcast, Online Course Connections, might either be people who would be interested or could lead me to somebody.

00:40:54 - Amber Hawley
Yes.

00:40:55 - Vickie Maris
We're all online learning experience designers. So I think I'm going to follow up there. Nice. And I love that idea of hosting a meetup. I think I will get somebody to go with me, though, because that's like one of my biggest fears is having a party and no one shows.

00:41:10 - Amber Hawley
Yes. I know. And at least this way, you can have a drink with a friend. And at the end of the day, you're like, eh, nobody knows that no one came, right?

00:41:19 - Vickie Maris
It's true.

00:41:21 - Amber Hawley
So I love it. That's so exciting. Yay.

00:41:25 - Maelisa Hall
I appreciate the conversation. Yes. I appreciate you being on here because I think a lot of people, like we said, have been asking us about this and talking about it. But I don't think everyone would be willing to go on a podcast and say, hey, I don't have this type of relationship, but I think it sounds really awesome and I'd like to, you know, to try it out.

00:41:45 - Vickie Maris
I think it just could really be supportive for both people in the relationship in terms of either growing a business or keeping your head on straight when you want to scream.

00:41:56 - Amber Hawley
Yes. And it's so exciting. Like, Today, Melissa and I had that experience of it was just a really good day. We had, this is now our second awesome interview of the day. And it just gets us so pumped up and in the mindset when you're talking about business things.
And, you know, when you love to talk about that, it's very energizing, right? And yeah, because it's not all, you know, sunshines and roses. So we want to make sure that we have people that like keep us in that right mindset. And I think mindset is a huge piece of the support system.
And, you know, having somebody that, can balance you out with that because often we can hear it in others and not in ourselves. And I wanted to put out there, I don't remember the source, but I have heard that the fear of success is far greater than the fear of failure, right?
And there is that famous quote about we fear like our power and not our weakness.

Of course, now I'm torturing that. It sounds like something from a Marvel movie. I know. The way I just said it totally did. I had a Marvel weekend. No, it really is a famous quote and I'm going to put it on our BizBestie page because people know what I'm talking about.
It's by some psychologist type person too. But the fear of success is terrifying. And so we often, people will think, oh, that's dumb. Like, why would you be afraid of that? But there's a lot that goes into that, right? So I think having somebody to help you with that would be fantastic.
And someone who normalizes, your BizBestie has to be somebody that encourages and supports a myriad of ideas. because you don't want to feel that shame and to feel very normal. Like I think it's all exciting, fun stuff, but you know, we've talked about this before.

Not everybody feels that way.

00:43:36 - Vickie Maris
So should I probably say that one of the two instruments I play is a piano accordion that might chase some people off.

00:43:43 - Amber Hawley
So we could just, we could just filter it out right now. Well, you know, you know what Maya Angelou said, she said, never tell people your faults because they'll figure them out themselves. Yeah. Not that that's a fault.

00:43:59 - Vickie Maris
I take a lot of teasing about that.

00:44:00 - Amber Hawley
I love it. No, that's pretty good. See, good sense of humor, people. This is a catch right here.

00:44:06 - Maelisa Hall
Maybe you'll find someone who still plays the keytar. You never know.

00:44:14 - Amber Hawley
I love it. See, but that saying that you're going to get the people with a sense of humor. People who don't get it are not your people. So But hopefully, at some point, we're going to have to follow up with you, even if it's just in a Facebook Live, because I can't wait to hear what comes of all of this.
And I'm sure our listeners will love to hear it as well.

00:44:31 - Vickie Maris
I would love to do that.

00:44:32 - Amber Hawley
That would be awesome. So thanks so much for being on. And I can't wait to hear. Yeah, and feel free to just check in with us and let us know. I want to hear what's happening with all that.

00:44:41 - Vickie Maris
I will do that. Thank you.

00:44:43 - Maelisa Hall
So Vicki, where would the best place, if people do want to connect with you after hearing this, where's the best place for them to do that?

00:44:50 - Vickie Maris
Well, I think the best, especially since we've been talking about it, the best place would be to find me on my LinkedIn profile, which I do have a vanity URL, which is my name, V-I-C-K-I-E-M-A-R-I-S. And if you are curious about the llamas or the ponies, I have been slowly building my YouTube channel, but it includes my middle initial.
So Vicki J. Maris on YouTube.

00:45:16 - Maelisa Hall
Awesome. We'll link to both of those. And this sounds like... It could be an epic YouTube channel, just FYI.

00:45:22 - Amber Hawley
I know. Hey, people are getting sick of cats and dogs. Like we need something to change it up. You know what I mean? People are going to send me hate mail for that.

00:45:32 - Maelisa Hall
And it's funny because I have like 10 more ideas around that.

00:45:36 - Amber Hawley
But anyways, so... Well, if you know somebody who needs a BizBestie and maybe could benefit from hearing all of our awesome ideas... please go ahead and share this with them. And if Vicki sounds as awesome as, you know, we think she is, then you should go ahead and follow up with her on LinkedIn.

00:45:56 - Maelisa Hall
For sure. So make sure you're subscribed and share this episode and we will see you in the next one. Thanks for listening.

00:46:04 - Vickie Maris
Bye.