How to Effectively Communicate Your Needs with Your Biz Besties with (Adria DeCorte) Sophia

00:00:24 - Maelisa Hall
Welcome to Season 3 of the My Biz Bestie Podcast. I'm Melissa Hall.

00:00:28 - Amber Hawley
And I'm Amber Hawley.

00:00:29 - Maelisa Hall
And today we are talking to Adria Decourt.

00:00:32 - Adria DeCorte
Hi, guys.

00:00:34 - Amber Hawley
Hi. Welcome.

00:00:36 - Adria DeCorte
Glad to be here.

00:00:37 - Maelisa Hall
So, Adria, we are so excited for this interview because you are going to be sharing a Biz Bestie story that includes some ups and some downs and has a positive outcome, which I think is what every good story should have. Yes.

00:00:50 - Amber Hawley
It's a hero's journey, essentially. Yeah.

00:00:54 - Maelisa Hall
So we are so excited to learn some of these lessons. But first, let's learn a little bit more about you. So why don't you tell us about what it is that you do? And you have a podcast as well.

00:01:05 - Adria DeCorte
I do. So I help coaches and leaders and business owners to get clear on the next evolution of their message. So maybe that means that they're pivoting what it is they do in their business, and they're kind of feeling that pull, but they're stuck. Or maybe they want to apply for a TEDx talk or launch a podcast or something.
And they're kind of in that space where they really want to clarify what they want to be known for, but are a little bit stuck on how to get that clarity, what the next evolution of their business is. So I support them to get there. And I do have a podcast.
It's called Unforgettable. And that's kind of where I peel back the layers of what it takes to get that clarity, how you figure out what that message is. I have episodes coming up behind the scenes of when you want to do a TED Talk and how you're creating that message and how you're applying.

All kinds of things around this mission that we have when we feel called to use our voice to share our truth and really take a step out there and get visible and find that message that we kind of want to shout from the rooftops that lights us up and feels totally in alignment and in congruence.
So that is kind of where my love and my home is in my business world. Nice.

00:02:21 - Amber Hawley
And I love that name. That's such a great name for a podcast. And you're an OG podcaster. You've been doing this for a little while.

00:02:27 - Adria DeCorte
I have been. So I started my first podcast, I want to say about three and a half years ago. And it was called Feed Your Hustle. And that was kind of connected to my own TEDx talk, which was how food fuels hustle. So I was very much in that space of working with entrepreneurs more on burnout proofing their business at the time.
And kind of how do you... take care of yourself to take care of your business. How do you manage your energy? And that's kind of become behind the scenes part of the mission that I have now in the work that I do. But in creating that first podcast and the TED Talk and all these different things is kind of when I realized my passion and my love for the actual messaging.
That it was like that part, that it was what I was really good at and what I really loved. And I've had a lot of different messages, a lot of different stances or just brand messages Evolutions.

Evolutions. Yes, exactly. Evolution is my favorite word right now. Thank you.

00:03:24 - Maelisa Hall
I know you sound a little perhaps multi-passionate.

00:03:26 - Adria DeCorte
Yes. That might be true. That's absolutely true. And honestly, we were talking about biz bestie stories here. Honestly, What we're here to talk about when we get more into my own business bestie story is part of that whole process of evolution of kind of the exploration of being able to allow yourself to evolve as a business owner.
Because the beauty of being an entrepreneur and being in business is that you don't have to have the same job description for 30 years. That you get to evolve and pivot and change. And so when I stepped into collaboration with my business besties for the past year, it was part of that exploration.
And it wasn't really, okay, I'm going to do this rest of my life. It was like, I wonder what this would look like. I wonder what it would feel like to not feel isolated and to be connecting with two people I love all the time.

And so yeah, everything is an evolution and it's totally a good thing.

00:04:21 - Maelisa Hall
Totally okay. Yeah. It's like, I mean, we talk about this all the time, right? With business, it's okay to fail. It's okay to try things out, whether it's like you try out a new offer that you have or a new product you're going to create or... a new business or a podcast or a YouTube channel, whatever it is, you try out different things.
And they're not all going to work out perfectly, unfortunately, but that's okay. And I think a lot of entrepreneurs understand that multi-passionate thing. So many people have stories of more than one business or starting some new endeavor. So it's just, I think, a natural part of evolving professionally.

00:05:01 - Adria DeCorte
Right. And it's kind of part of that whole taking imperfect action as opposed to perfect inaction, where if you allow yourself to step into whatever the next possible thing is or the next exciting thing is, go in the direction of curiosity, then that keeps leading you down a certain path.
Whereas you kind of get paralyzed if you're waiting for yourself to have the perfect next step and to know what the outcome is going to be before you even try. Right.

00:05:27 - Amber Hawley
I love that. I think that's such a great message for people to not be stuck in perfect inaction because so many people do. But I think also what you're talking about is if you're going down that journey and you're learning from it, I don't even think of that as a failure.
I think that that's part of that evolution and that journey. And if you get clarification about like, hey, yeah, this isn't what fuels me, then I need to do something different. Or this is it. I finally have connected with something that I could see myself doing for you know, at least a few years.

00:06:00 - Adria DeCorte
Right, right. So awesome. That's so exciting.

00:06:03 - Amber Hawley
Well, tell us a bit about your BizBestie journey that you went on. Okay.

00:06:09 - Adria DeCorte
So my BizBestie journey, or at least this one, I guess, that we're honing in on today, I was kind of part of a triad. So this is me and two BizBesties. And we came into each other's lives... About four years ago. So in different ways. So I became friends with both of them and then I connected them.
So it was a 2014 B-School, which is an online business program. I'm sure you guys probably know about it. I believe I'm a 2014.

00:06:39 - Amber Hawley
No, I'm a 2012-er.

00:06:42 - Adria DeCorte
Oh, wow. I'm an OG. OG. All right. So we were in the 2014 class, Melissa and I. My friend is Melissa as well.

00:06:53 - Amber Hawley
My Melissa.

00:06:54 - Adria DeCorte
And we were both from Las Vegas, and there wasn't like a subgroup created yet for our area. And so we had reached out to each other and connected. And then we kind of developed a mastermind in our local area where we were meeting up. During actual B-School, we were meeting up because this is an online program every other week.
And so our friendship developed that way kind of on a very personal... business level, but then taking it more personally, but really on like a masterminding, like brain meeting brain level. And then Jess, my other biz bestie, she came into my life through a women's speaking group that like essentially a course that I joined around that same time, which is a whole nother evolution of a friend that introduced me to a The leader of that course introduced me to Jess because Jess was having an event and she thought I'd be the perfect speaker for that event.

So Jess and I met up for coffee, just immediately felt a really deeper connection. And then I ended up joining her women's group, her local women's group, which was like a sister circle. It was very different. Very deep. We would, you know, each month we would all get together and someone would end up crying every time.
It was just like that unveiling that place where you can share everything that's super down dark that you normally can't talk about. Even if you have friends, you know, this was just like an open space to share. And so with her, it was like this much more, this, I guess, more emotional and expressive level of friendship.
And at the time, all three of us were kind of in the self-care coaching world and And so I remember one day I just had this inspiration. I just woke up with it and I wanted to connect the two of them. So I sent an email connecting them and I was like, Jess, you have to meet Melissa.

Melissa, you have to meet Jess. Melissa has this bath and body products business. Jess, you love taking baths. And so I connected them and then they became friends and I invited Melissa into the sister circle that was Jess at the time was leading. I took it over later.
And... So it kind of was this beginning, like not knowing what this was going to turn into, where we all started becoming friends together. And eventually we ended up every Thursday, we would go to a coffee shop and we would co-work all day. And that kind of became this mismatch of masterminding as the thing came up or talking about personal lives or whatever it was.
This is this whole mismatch of business and personal and just being friends. And it just Really evolved from there where Jess ended up moving to California. So it was a state away, but it still was like enough.

It's probably like an eight or nine hour drive. And so she was suddenly gone. And our Thursday co-working days were just two of us. And then we were like, oh, it's not quite the same. And she had joined this lifetime coaching program over in that area.
And so... probably a few months after she moved over there. She invited us to come to one of their free three-day weekend events. And she was like, okay, guys, we have to see each other. We haven't hung out in a while. Come early. We'll hang out and then come to this event with me.
I'm sure it'll be amazing and you'll get some cool aha moments. And so Melissa and I flew out there. We went to the event. And then by the end, we had joined as... lifetime members too. Not expecting it at all. And so for the next year, which was last year, we were flying out every month.

00:10:19 - Maelisa Hall
Oh my gosh. Every month.

00:10:21 - Adria DeCorte
I felt like a jet setter and I'm still part of it. So I'm still like, I'm going up in June and July this year. And so this was like a way that we kept getting to connect all three of us. And so it kind of kept that relationship that like triad, I guess, relationship that we had going.
And at that point, all of us had pivoted into more directly focusing on business and specifically visibility. Like we were all complimentary, but we were different aspects of visibility. Whereas I was more the messaging and the clarity and communication piece.
Jess was more video. And then Melissa was like behind the scenes, more of the tech and more of the setting up funnels and that kind of stuff. And so... I think we all kind of had the inkling that we complemented each other really well, that we were all really strong.

00:11:10 - Maelisa Hall
And I can see where this is going.

00:11:12 - Adria DeCorte
Yeah. And so I think it was born on, we were just doing a Zoom call and the three of us were on it and we were just catching up on stuff. And we were talking about how isolating it was being in business and how we were all craving collaboration and And that's where it was born, where we were just like, well, I wonder what it would be like for us to do something together.
And at the time in my brain, I was thinking, well, maybe it'll just be something small. Maybe we'll like co-host a webinar. And it ended up, I mean, because these ladies are really good at focusing everything on monetization. Yeah. We like monetization.

00:11:51 - Amber Hawley
Monetization. They are great besties. I will say that.

00:11:56 - Adria DeCorte
It went straight to, okay, what's our end goal? Like if we're going to be doing anything, like we went straight to creating a paid group program together and then thinking of what the launch plan was for that. So versus like I was in my head, I was like, okay, we're going to do like some little thing that's about growing our lists or something.
We went straight to like, we're going to do a monster, not a monster launch, like as if we were seven-figure entrepreneurs, but like a substantial, lots of promotion, lots of energy, full email sequences, webinars, challenges, like the whole shebang.
And yeah. And so I guess that's kind of how it came to be.

00:12:39 - Amber Hawley
Wow. What I like about your story that's been different about some of the other ones we've shared is it took, it sounds like a long time of growth and connection, which I think is good for people to hear because sometimes I think when, as we're out there talking to people and they're like, I'm feeling isolated and I really want a biz bestie.
We keep highlighting stories of like these quick connections and like, Oh, they meet one time and hit it off. Yeah. You know, that cute meat kind of thing. And I feel like hearing a story about this is a slow grow and that's the kind of thing that, That can be to remember.
Sometimes it takes time to nurture those relationships. Yeah.

00:13:18 - Adria DeCorte
And honestly, that's probably why when we decided to kind of put a pause on that collaboration about 10 months or so after beginning, why shifting back into being friends was more natural, I guess, or more possible or more like we had a set point already for what that looked like.
And it wasn't like we immediately had become friends and then jumped into being business partners and then had to figure out what friendship looked like without a business partnership. We already kind of knew that and just had to find our way back to it.

00:13:50 - Amber Hawley
Nice. Well, so tell us more about what happened. So 10 months after you guys started this big launch, which I would say regardless of the amount of income, that's a big launch.

00:14:01 - Adria DeCorte
Yes. Oh, it felt like a lot of energy. And I guess one of the things about that that I have to say is... collaborating with both of them really held me accountable to... I mean, you guys know this. If we had specific things that we had to do, that's what we were doing.
We all had our own tasks and a list of, okay, I need to be posting twice a day about this. And I'm going to have to send this email to my list at this time and all these different things where if I'm on my own, I flex and I'm like, oh, well, that one doesn't feel as relevant anymore, or I'm tired.
I'm not going to do that one. Like it had to happen because it was like a responsibility to my team members. And so a lot of things that it helped me stretch and doing that in that almost a year timeframe was me having to step out and do more promoting than I'm used to and being forced to do Facebook lives.

And I've done a lot since, but it got me in that groove of doing that And just having to show up and not worrying so much and just be like, I have to do this. It's part of the things that I'm set out to do. And I'm just going to hit record and it's going to happen.
And so a lot of the visibility pieces kind of allowed me to embrace on my own because that was what was going to happen. And I couldn't wiggle out of it or else I was shirking a responsibility to people that I loved and to people I was in partnership with and had that responsibility to.
Oh, yeah.

00:15:23 - Maelisa Hall
And we've definitely talked about that too. Yeah. how having one another makes this podcast so much better and like initially just made it happen, right?

00:15:32 - Amber Hawley
Oh my God, it makes it possible. Yeah.

00:15:35 - Maelisa Hall
But I am interested when you all first started, did you have one person that was like the point person or was it like the three of you all meeting and then you just created all these task lists and you're all pretty independently working? How did that all work?
Like who's doing what?

00:15:52 - Adria DeCorte
Such good questions. And I realize I didn't answer the original question about like after the 10 months, but I'm sure we will.

00:16:00 - Maelisa Hall
We'll come back to that. Yes. Yes. We're in the, we're in mid journey right now.

00:16:04 - Adria DeCorte
We're in mid journey now. So that's a really good question because we had a few different rounds where we did this. So during the time we were collaborating... And we still had our own separate businesses. This was just like an exploration of like, oh, let's see what happens kind of thing versus like, we're going to go into business together for real.
It was... I mean, obviously, there was money that was part of it. There was clients that we shared jointly. There was all these different pieces. But we had... at least three different launches during this timeframe. And the first launch that we did, I will personally say it was very exhausting.
I mean, launches can be very tiring no matter what, but we hadn't quite figured out yet how to fit our pieces together in a way that was really healthy for all of us. So we were still in a place of, okay, we're going to all equally do everything, which meant we shared all the tasks versus finding who had the strengths and what, and then it's like giving them that bucket.
And we are going And we were working in a way where it was really flying by the seat of our pants.

And that worked for Jess's strengths because she's really great at... She doesn't really like to plan. She likes to work on creative energy. But then Melissa needed... She likes to schedule all of her social media posts and things a month out. And then I need to have some kind of sense of organization of what's coming to feel comfortable.
And so it wasn't working for all of our... best ways of showing up and having our energy. So that was like one element of like the first time where it felt really hard to me. Like I can only speak from my own perspective because I'm sure that the other two ladies like have their whole own perspective as well.
But for me, it felt really hard. And so the second time we had to really look at, and at that point I was thinking, should I do this again?

Like I was already weighing, how is this for my energy? and for showing up in my own business. And how is this in terms of a smart business decision? Because I really want to hang out with these people. I really love collaborating and being with them, but I also have to like have my business hat on and think of what's a smart business decision for me too, because it was taking up so much more energy than I had realized.
And so I was already having that conversation after the first time, but then I was like, okay, well, we're going to figure out how to do some things a little bit differently. And I have some faith in like and how we're setting this up. And I think it'll help me flex my muscles in a new way.
So I'm going to try this again. So that was when we kind of went into our second launch because we were doing these launches with challenges and webinars and email sequences and lots of Facebook lives around a group program that we were doing.

So our second launch, we decided we were going to target it more, be more specific. It was your 2018 visibility and marketing plan. So it was like targeting straight into visibility and marketing, And we decided that this time, because I was like, okay, we need to do something a little bit different this time in order for it to be healthier.
So this time we decided we were going to plan things out more ahead of time.

00:19:02 - Maelisa Hall
And this is like you actually brought that to them, like said, hey, I need this.

00:19:08 - Adria DeCorte
Yes. So I guess that's one of the things the whole way through was. Why it was such a good growth experience for me was continually being able or needing to, really to use my voice and. and be able to communicate. And I'm such a communication geek, but I guess we know that that doesn't necessarily mean that you're always good at it, right?
Like I help my clients do it really well, but that doesn't mean that I don't sometimes like feel like, gosh, how do I say that? So it was a really good opportunity for me to kind of, when I knew something wasn't energetically good for me or wasn't as healthy and I knew something needed to shift, to make sure that I showed up to the conversation with solutions rather than just saying, hey, this is a problem.

Thinking through, okay, well, what would be my ideal outcome? And what are some alternatives to that? And what can I propose to them? And how can I release the outcome of what's going to happen and give them some space to step into what feels good for them?
And so that was like a continual process that happened because we did co-create. To answer your question before, we did co-create a lot of things. So what we would do, and I feel like we were really good at this, honestly, we would get on Zoom calls and I kind of unofficially fell into the role of note taker just because that's just who I am, like capturing things and kind of having a sense of how we're moving forward.
And so I would like have a Google Doc open in our shared folders and I would take notes as we went on the major points and we would just kind of craft. We'd be like, okay, what's the point of this meeting?

And we would look at All right, so this meeting, what we want to come out of it with is the structure for our next webinar. Or we want to come out of this with the overall arc of the experience we're going to lead people through to see if they want to join our program.
Or we're going to use this to come up with what the first call for our group program is. so that we can really make people feel nurtured and excited about what's to come, you know? So we would kind of just like go through that. And like, we worked really fast, the three of us, like hash out, okay, I think this is what needs to happen and this and this and this.
And we would just like, bump, go right down the list pretty fast. And like, then we'd have something crafted. We'd have like an outline or a structure or whatever it was. I feel like that was a real big strength that the three of us had together, but we would co-create that.

And then... the part of us being separate was more about when we did the second launch, we thought of like, what are each person's buckets in terms of their specialties in how they show up for our potential clients and for launches and for marketing and all this stuff.
And so Jess's bucket became like, the writing, the marketing copy, and kind of like, thinking of, like, what? Some of the emails and Facebook live posts. topics should be about. And then Melissa's became creating all of the behind the scenes opt-in pages and funnel pieces and scheduling everything on her email list and all that kind of stuff.
And then I became the nurturer and the salesperson and kind of like the one who was building relationships with all of the potential clients and having the calls to see if they wanted to join our program.

And so that time we kind of shook it out all into our different buckets and And it felt a lot better.

00:22:36 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So you're like playing to everyone's strengths really naturally. And it sounds like you all did work together really well, like you were a good team.

00:22:45 - Adria DeCorte
And I would say, so I have not so idealistic a view, I guess now, of business collaborations that I love these two women and we were fabulous as friends. And I think we had some really good strengths as a team as well. but I also, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows for sure.

00:23:07 - Amber Hawley
Like there was a lot. I don't even know where you're going with this.

00:23:13 - Adria DeCorte
Impossible.

00:23:13 - Amber Hawley
All of the business is sunshine and rainbow.

00:23:17 - Adria DeCorte
And I like to keep it that way. Yeah. There was a lot of moments. There was a lot of moments where I really did have to think of how do I communicate this? Because I did have moments where I, I felt kind of like something wasn't good for me energy-wise that we were doing.
And I realized that if I said it in a certain way, it would instigate conflict versus kind of creating a resolution. So that was a big journey for me particularly. Because as a triad, like a three, I feel like possibly... I could be wrong, but in my experience, it might possibly be easier with two people than with three.
I would wholeheartedly say that. Okay, good. I didn't want to make any jump conclusions for everyone.

00:24:07 - Amber Hawley
As a therapist who specializes in relationships, I'm going to say two is easier than three.

00:24:12 - Adria DeCorte
Okay, I'm glad to hear that from you. That makes me feel better about myself. Because honestly... With three women together, there were times when someone would be left out and sometimes that would be me. Or when two people would feel a certain way about something and then the third would kind of be the outlier.
And often I would kind of be the contrarian in the situation because I think that they're a little bit more similar in a lot of things and how they approach business and how they think than I was. So that gave me a lot of opportunities to sink into how do I communicate this?
How do I get my needs met while still playing for the team? There was a lot of opportunities for growth within this.

00:24:57 - Amber Hawley
Well, that is an excellent reframe, but I will say that's the difficulty of three is, or anything beyond the two dynamic is, it can be easy to perceive it as being ganged up on or feeling left out, or even to feel like, well, I could see questioning yourself of, well, these two are on the same page.
So what's wrong with me that I'm questioning this? Yes. And so that's difficult. So I think there's so much nuance when you have another person because that's another personality. And even if they were pretty similar, that's still another person like who...
takes in information a certain way or needs information presented to them in a certain way, right? So I think that's really difficult. And that you guys did it for three launches is pretty great.

00:25:42 - Adria DeCorte
Right. Yes. I feel like I got so much growth out of this. And yes, I would say it was difficult. It was difficult. And part of me has felt, I guess, bad saying that. But... It's not a reflection of the people at all. I still love them. And we're friends still.
And we just met up for a happy hour when Jess was in town last week. So it's more of that triad and the being in business together. And what became clear to me, probably partway through... After we'd done the second launch and we were running our second program together, was that I had a hard time...
I'm a very focused person. And I can't have a lot of balls. And probably most people are that way. But I'm just very focused. And it seemed like it was working for them a little bit better than for me in that way, where it was really hard for me to focus on my own business at the same time.

And I was really feeling pulled and called to do deeper work supporting people around their message and to focus more deeply on my own podcast. and just maybe running my own group program again, which I hadn't run any challenges of my own or any group program during the whole time we were together.
Cause it's like my launch energy was focused on our group thing.

00:26:59 - Maelisa Hall
And so I was really- Yeah. And you don't want to like overwhelm your audience too. Cause it's basically like you have another offer.

00:27:04 - Adria DeCorte
Right. Exactly. Exactly. I didn't want to over offer. Yeah. So there was so many different things that I was just feeling called to step into. And I had to make that decision of which is healthier for me. and for my business to step away from this partnership for a moment, or maybe for good, and to go in the direction that feels really good to me right now, or to stay.
And it felt pretty clear to me that it was time to move forward. But it wasn't necessarily their choice. It was really me that instigated that. And that was a hard conversation at the end for me. But it was very clear to me energy-wise. But I did have those feelings, those friend feelings of, well, if I say I don't want to do this again, these are my friends and I really want to keep hanging out with them and being able to like, I love that we get to collaborate.

And when we did our first launch, it was like this, like everyone that was in our circle was just like blown away by like our collective power, the three of us together. And so I was just like releasing that, like that took a lot. And then I had to release this thought that, you know, giving them permission to to move forward without me if they wanted to.
Like I just had to like tell myself like, okay, this is what energetically I need to do to feel healthy to move forward is if I release them from doing this collaboration together, then I need to release them and kind of honor any potential thing they might do together if they want to keep collaborating.
So there was all this like friend stuff going on in my head, you know, this like, oh, my best friends and blah, blah, blah. The inner girl relationship stuff.

00:28:48 - Maelisa Hall
Well, and it would be like FOMO. What if they do continue on and then I'm not hanging out with them? And they dominate the world. They're doing photo shoots together without me.

00:29:02 - Amber Hawley
Yes. I mean, I think that's a huge piece. I'm guessing there's probably a sense of Am I letting my friends down? Because I think that's a place that women often go to.

00:29:11 - Adria DeCorte
I mean, I think men too, but I'll speak to the women that I've worked with.

00:29:14 - Amber Hawley
And I think that, yeah, I'm missing out. And still wanting to be a part of that friendship and that connection, but not wanting to put your energy in that business-wise. I think that's a really hard... decision to come to and place to make peace with.

00:29:28 - Adria DeCorte
And honestly, several times during the whole process of our partnership and for that end conversation, I went to my life coach with this saying, how do I communicate this? What's the healthy way for me to go about this, to have this conversation? It was like the stakes feel really high.

00:29:45 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, exactly. And it is high because that's something you value when you're... You guys were very connected friends. So... to lose that, I think would feel devastating.

00:29:55 - Adria DeCorte
And on the same, or just on a different note around that, I was excited by the idea that I could get them back as friends rather than business partners, because it was a big difference. when we shifted into being collaborators as well as friends versus before when we were strictly friends, but we would talk about our businesses and we would dream and we would mastermind and brainstorm together.
It was a shift. And so part of me was really excited that I would get to have them back as just biz besties without the partnership part of things.

00:30:32 - Maelisa Hall
Nice. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah. Because you're like, okay, now we can just do our flights and have dinner and Zoom calls and chat. And yeah, you're taking away kind of a big... Well, you're taking away a big instigator for conflict and stress too.

00:30:47 - Adria DeCorte
Right. Yeah. And so both of them are very strong, dominant personalities. And so there was a lot of like... It was for me... I'm not as dominant. So definitely it felt healthier and maybe in some ways safer to be just friends. And we ended up planning a Sedona trip for the three of us.
Basically after our last session of our group program, we planned it for the weekend afterwards. And so the three of us went to Sedona, we brought our guys, and we ended up having... kind of like a friend reunion, I guess, where there wasn't really business talk.
It was just us getting to hike and have drinks and just, you know, kind of be together. And yeah, it's kind of like that shifting point back into the friendship is what's been happening.

And it's all such an interesting progression.

00:31:43 - Maelisa Hall
And so you all knew that the business partnership would not be continuing when you went on that trip.

00:31:49 - Adria DeCorte
Yes.

00:31:50 - Maelisa Hall
So that's nice.

00:31:52 - Adria DeCorte
Yeah. Yeah. So I had the conversation with them a few weeks earlier because we were at the point where we were like, okay, the ladies in our group program are ending. What are we going to offer them? And so I think at least Jess came to that conversation thinking we were going to offer them a group program again.
And this isn't to say that we might not ever do something together again, but this is to say right now we are paused in terms of all doing it together. And so I came to that conversation thinking, you know, like having already thought about like, what is it that would feel good to me that I can bring to the table with a solution rather than just saying, this doesn't feel good.
Like to say, okay, this is what would feel good. What do you guys think about this? Or what were your thoughts? And so I brought to the table offering a continuing package that was private work with all three of us.

So getting us each on like different levels of our current client's visibility. And so I brought that to the table. I kind of thought about what that would look like. And so it ended up going in that direction because I had thought of that rather than...
It would be so easy for me to be in a victim space or in a space of, I just don't want to do this anymore. But it's more of still that collaborative place of, okay, I still care about these people. We still want to be in each other's lives. What can this look like that honors all of that?

00:33:10 - Amber Hawley
I like that. And I think... I mean, that speaks to, well, there's a level of maturity there, but that's also going to facilitate that transition back to that friendship because it's not, I could see where they could feel abandoned if it was just a cutoff, right?
So there's this transition period. And then like you said, it's on pause and maybe it never gets unpaused, but maybe it does.

00:33:32 - Adria DeCorte
Right, right. It's like right now, this is what feels aligned. The future, who knows what the future is?

00:33:40 - Amber Hawley
Yes.

00:33:41 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I think it's funny. I love that throughout your story, you've really highlighted that whenever there were difficult conversations to have, number one, you were doing a lot of self-reflection around like, why is this difficult for me? Or why am I feeling this way?
Or what is the purpose of this? And how does it fit into my life. And then number two, you were also thinking of solutions. So you weren't just showing up and complaining. It makes me think of the opening to my speech when I ran for vice president of my college class.
Because that was what I said. I was like, I like to complain, but I don't just want to complain without having a solution to the problem. And I won. I was uncontested, but I did win. But I think that's really, really important to think about like, okay, I'm not just going to sit here and whine about it, but I'm going to really...

I'm a responsible business owner. I'm resourceful. So what are some solutions I can present?

00:34:42 - Adria DeCorte
Right. Right. Exactly. And I feel like that's part of the key, the magic key to keeping those kinds of relationships flourishing and alive and not devolving into just bad feelings. Because one of the things when we started this whole partnership was we said, okay, let's set some priorities.
What comes first? Our friendship comes first. We are friends first. And we're doing this so we don't feel isolated. We're not doing this... I mean, partially we're doing it because we see each other as really strong business people. And we think it would be amazing to have the three of us together.
But our friendship is first and foremost our priority. And so... whenever we kind of had a policy of clearings. Whenever we had meetings, we would do clearings. If anyone was feeling anything, usually it was me.

But I tried to think of a constructive way to say it. And we would start off with honestly just banter, just talking about what was going on in our lives. We would do that for quite a bit. All of our meetings were like two hours long because we needed the space at the beginning for the relationship building to keep it feeling light.
because one of our guiding principles was fun. So we called ourselves like the fun and fierce coaches. So we wanted everything to always come back to being fun because business doesn't always have to feel hard. It can actually be fun or you can keep that lightness.
We had a song that we created that Jess and I created over like a glass of wine one time that we would sing at the beginning of our group calls with clients and have everyone sing along. So we were trying to keep this lightness. And so we did that in our meetings too.
We were like, okay, well, what's going on with everybody?

Or we're just the connection as friends because sometimes they might be talking about our boyfriends or something stressful going on in our lives right now. And we just wanted to have the ear of the other two ladies and feel like empathy. And so we kept that as part of all of our meetings.
So then we would switch gears and get right down to business because we're all pretty focused, business-minded, get stuff done people. But we would... allow the space to have connection and relationship just with each other as well.

00:36:54 - Amber Hawley
And I think Melissa and I naturally do that as well. But I think that's what successful partnerships do is that you do have that opportunity to have the connection and bonding and then you can get down to work. So... And it's leading with the value. You knew what your value was.
The value was of the friendship over everything. And you created boundaries around that. And so I think that's really probably what also made the transition back more successful. The one caveat I want to say is for people out there who... I think these are the more difficult transitions is when you're in a situation or relationship and it's like, I'm feeling a little off or it doesn't feel aligned or it's not 100%.
Those are harder to make those difficult decisions, when it is clearly toxic and bad or feels one-sided, those are much, much easier to leave those relationships.

And sometimes those are not meant to be salvaged, right? So I think that most people, it's the nuance of it's not so bad or it's not all bad or there's all this good stuff. That's when you have to make those hard decisions for yourself and what feels right for your life.
So I think it's such a great story for you to share because that's the part that most people get stuck in.

00:38:06 - Adria DeCorte
Ah, yes. I'm so glad that you pointed that out. That's so, so true that it's a much harder decision when it's not completely toxic. It's not an abusive relationship. This is still a friendship. And that's why it took me so long, but still with growth along the way.
It was still a lot of growth and a lot of evolution for me that I'm taking with me. So like we were saying earlier in the episode at the beginning, I think even, all of that is positive, important pieces in how I show up as a business owner today, what I'm bringing forward, how I'm working with my clients.

00:38:44 - Amber Hawley
I'm sure.

00:38:44 - Adria DeCorte
And the reminder of being able to experiment, explore, try different things, and really be in touch with, okay, what is feeling in alignment for me? What is fueling me? And being able to keep honoring that voice and trust that if I make a shift based on something that feels more in alignment for me, that it's going to work out.

00:39:07 - Amber Hawley
Nice. Well, thank you so much for being with us today. I feel like people are going to get so much value out of hearing your story. Because like I said, I think these are more the things that people struggle with when it's more nuanced or it's not as straightforward of trusting your gut and making those decisions in business of when to pivot and when to let go or press pause on things.
So thank you so much for sharing that with our audience.

00:39:32 - Adria DeCorte
Yes. My pleasure. This is such... an important conversation. Honestly, I wish I had had this episode to listen to like, you know, six months ago.

00:39:42 - Amber Hawley
I know. And this is the thing. I feel like somebody is going to listen to this and be so grateful to you for this.

00:39:48 - Adria DeCorte
Absolutely. Yeah. I hope if someone's listening to this and maybe if you are in a triad situation and you're feeling like you're the problem or anything, you can at the very least not feel alone in that and like know that this is just... It's not you.
That's right.

00:40:05 - Amber Hawley
And so where can people find you if they want to learn more about you or work with you?

00:40:08 - Adria DeCorte
Yes. So I have a podcast called Unforgettable, which is a fabulous place to come on over to if you want support around whether you are pivoting your own message or trying to figure out what the next point of alignment is that you want to step into. Maybe you want to do a TEDx talk or start a podcast of your own and you want to figure out what that message is behind it.
My podcast is a fabulous place to go And I also have... I actually have a message clarity kit, which is like a free resource on my site to help you with those first steps of getting clarity on, okay, what is it that you're pivoting into? What is that next evolution?
And you can grab that at adriadecourt.com slash message. And really my favorite place to hang out recently, and we've been talking about that before we hit record...

Is on Instagram. I've been having a real blast sharing on Instagram stories and just being a messenger and connecting with people over there in a way that is a lot more behind the scenes and super fun. So you can connect with me over there.

00:41:10 - Amber Hawley
Nice. And I think if our audience is anything like us, we love behind the scenes. So definitely... and check you out. Thank you again, Adria, for being with us and head on over to the MyBizBestie page, mybizbestie.com and make sure you subscribe so that you don't miss any of this amazingness.

00:41:27 - Maelisa Hall
Thanks so much.

00:41:28 - Amber Hawley
Thanks, ladies.