Building Business Relationships Through Social Media and Networking with Eboni Harris and Eliza Boquin

00:00:24 - Maelisa Hall
Welcome to Season 3 of the My Biz Bestie podcast. I'm Melissa Hall.

00:00:28 - Amber Hawley
And I'm Amber Hawley.

00:00:30 - Maelisa Hall
And today we have another amazing BizBestie story for you. We are really excited to have two very dope therapists who have a podcast called Melanin and Mental Health together.
So definitely go and check that out. Eliza and Ebony, welcome.

00:00:48 - Eliza Boquin
Hi.

00:00:49 - Amber Hawley
Yes, welcome. Thank you.

00:00:52 - Maelisa Hall
We're super excited to hear about your story. And we're all actually speaking, all four of us are speaking at a conference. next month. And so it's really cool that we're able to meet virtually beforehand and then we'll be able to catch up there.
And I've heard a lot about what you two are doing, but I'm not super familiar with your origin story. So we're excited to hear how that went and how you went about having a podcast together.

00:01:17 - Eliza Boquin
Awesome.

00:01:17 - Maelisa Hall
So let's learn more about both of you. Eliza, do you want to go ahead and go first and just tell us about who you are and what you do?

00:01:24 - Eliza Boquin
Sure. So... Elisa. And it confuses everybody because it's spelled just like Eliza. Oh, my bad. No worries. So the origin of our story. So really, it was me coming across this really cool chick, Instagram, and she just so happened to be a therapist also.
And I'm like, oh, and I think as therapists, we're still kind of like in this phase where we're trying to learn how to use social media, and still, you know, kind of take into consideration all our ethical you know, standards, all that stuff. So I started to follow Ebony and I loved how she was using social media.
And one day she posted a video about the power of networking and somebody that she had just gone to lunch with. And I was like, I want to go to lunch with you. So I sent her a message.

I'm like, you should do lunch. And we met up for lunch and the conversation there, both being clinicians of color, it soon went to, well, where are all the other black and brown therapists? in town because we want to be able to refer when we're not able to help a client.
And that's kind of like what became then the movement towards melanin and mental health. So our organization, our company is Melanin and Mental Health, which is a website where we have a directory and merchandise promoting mental health awareness in Black and Latinx communities because of the stigma in our communities.
And then from there, came the podcast, which is Between Sessions. And so I'll let Ebony talk about that a little bit.

00:02:55 - Amber Hawley
Can you tell us, do you have a business on your own as well?

00:02:59 - Eboni Harris
Yes. I was just thinking, I think that's what she was asking.

00:03:02 - Eliza Boquin
I gave you the origins of melaninism. Talk about it all. Yes, we would love to know just a little bit about you as well. Oh, see, that's why I have Ebony because she always hears the things I don't hear.

00:03:14 - Eboni Harris
She knows that.

00:03:21 - Eliza Boquin
Stop me, please. So, yes, I'm in private practice. My private practice is the Relationship and Sexual Wellness Center here in Houston, Texas. I'm a marriage and family therapist and a sex therapist. And Then I found this really cool trick online. You can edit that part in after that.

00:03:44 - Amber Hawley
I was like, no, we'll just go. Ebony, tell us a little bit about yourself.

00:03:54 - Eboni Harris
So I'm also a relationship therapist here in Houston. I have a private practice. We actually share an office now. We've gotten extremely close.

00:04:02 - Eliza Boquin
Yeah.

00:04:02 - Eboni Harris
So I do work with couples and individuals that are struggling with relationship issues. And I also have a podcast called Room for Relations where we discuss everything from the first date to the last.

00:04:17 - Amber Hawley
Awesome. Wonderful.

00:04:19 - Maelisa Hall
And how long have you had that podcast? Because when I checked, there were like a lot of episodes of that one.

00:04:24 - Eboni Harris
Yeah, this is the fourth year. So we're four years in, next year will be five years. So it's been a minute.

00:04:30 - Amber Hawley
That's legit.

00:04:31 - Eboni Harris
Yeah. Every week, yes. It's been a long time.

00:04:33 - Amber Hawley
That is legit. As people who do our podcast in seasons, I have mad respect for you.

00:04:40 - Eboni Harris
You know, I should have definitely thought about that ahead of time because I have me and like three of my friends and I have to rotate them and figure out topics. And I'm like, oh my God. We might have to do it between sessions and seasons.

00:04:53 - Amber Hawley
We should just have fun. I love it. Awesome. So then you both are private practice. You've eventually moved in together. So this is...

00:05:00 - Eliza Boquin
Just sign at least for another year.

00:05:07 - Amber Hawley
And so you met via social media. I love this people. We're all about networking and people reaching out. And so I think that's such a fantastic story. So I don't think we've had that before.

00:05:23 - Maelisa Hall
No, I love that. Except for us. We, well... We sort of met through a conference and sort of got to know one another through Facebook. Yeah, through Facebook.

00:05:32 - Amber Hawley
You know I don't open the goodie bag from conferences. I didn't sponsor. I had no idea.

00:05:38 - Eliza Boquin
You don't open the goodie bags? Oh my goodness. That's like the first thing. I don't care how many koozies I have, right? I'm like, I want another one.

00:05:47 - Amber Hawley
I'm kind of a minimalist. So I was like, whatever. Actually, probably because it's like, you know, you want to do all the things. And then I had like bags of things.

00:05:56 - Eliza Boquin
Just filled from all the conferences. Never went through them.

00:06:00 - Amber Hawley
So you met on social media and then you went and you reached out and you went and had a live lunch date.

00:06:06 - Eboni Harris
Yes. Yes, exactly. And that's where we started having the discussion about just minority therapists and the struggles that we have as minority therapists and trying to find where the other ones are as well. And from there, it's a lot.

00:06:18 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, that's kind of amazing. I mean, because it's such an important topic and so well needed, but already having individual businesses yourselves, Then you make this decision to open up this endeavor together and take that leap. Tell us a little bit more about that.
Like when you knew like, hey, this is more than just wanting to have lunch with somebody. I'd be willing to go all in with her.

00:06:39 - Eliza Boquin
You know, it's so funny because it was like we didn't really plan it. What happened was around that time, we just discussed something real informal. Let's start a Facebook group and just add people. whatever, you know, like do an Excel spreadsheet. And we're like, no one has time to take another thing on.
Right. So around that time, this social media campaign, I kind of started the social media campaign. I'm like, you know, so often we get some sort of inspiration, an idea, and we think of all the reasons why we're not ready. And it was just kind of like, just put it out there, start putting some content out about therapy, about mental health, but without the psychology jargon.
And just for fun, because I love social media. I really love it. I feel like when it's used in its best way, I met Ebony.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So it was just like, let me just put stuff out there. And that had picked up. Right away, people were like, melanin and mental health, what is this? And so it's kind of like, hmm, what is this, right? Clearly, this is tapping into something that people want to hear more of.
And from there, Ebony and I had this conversation again, and we've discussed... having like a happy hour to invite some of your friends, invite some of my friends. We'll have like seven people there.

00:07:54 - Eboni Harris
And then Ebony was like, I was like, well, why don't we just put it in a group that you created or put it on a social media and see what happens. And so we did. And at the first happy hour, it was like 30 clinicians, mental health advocates, almost everyone.
of color just happened to show up just to meet each other and have a conversation. And while we were there, everybody, you know, because at first it started with like a table of like three. And so it just started to expand and expand until everybody was introducing themselves and didn't have to introduce themselves again.
And so we ended up in this huge circle where everyone is trying to introduce themselves and what they do and what work they're in. And, you know, at the end, of course, it's like, well, how do we keep in touch with each other and what's your name and things like that.
And so immediately the thought, of course, is like, we need a directory. We need to be able to keep up with these people. And I think the next day, Elisa texted me and was like, we have to have lunch right now. We need to sit down and talk about this.

And so within like 48 hours, we sat down, we had lunch and it was just like, this looks like this could really be something. So what's the next step?

00:08:51 - Amber Hawley
I love it. Well, I will say as somebody who's hosted a lot of meetups and done a lot of networking, To have 30 people at a first time event that tells you how much the need was there.

00:09:01 - Maelisa Hall
Exactly.

00:09:01 - Amber Hawley
That is huge. Yeah.

00:09:04 - Maelisa Hall
That was really saw it and then like tapped into. But I love that. Like right away, you were like, OK, let's have lunch and talk about what's going to happen after this.

00:09:10 - Eliza Boquin
Yes.

00:09:12 - Eboni Harris
Yes. Well, because we had only known each other maybe six months.

00:09:17 - Eliza Boquin
Not even. Not even.

00:09:19 - Eboni Harris
Because we had just met. Yeah, we had just met like the November before. And I think the first one was like in April, May or something like that. And so we had been familiar with each other and had had a few lunches where we talked about our own business endeavors and the things we were interested in doing as far as our practice and stuff.
So I think we knew that both of us had like a business mindset. Right. And so it just kind of clicked. We're like, oh, this would be cool. And I mean, I don't know if I knew this in the beginning. You may have, Alisa, but we complement each other so well.
Mm-hmm. I don't know if it just worked. I mean, obviously it worked out well, but I don't know if I recognize that we're excited to go into business together, but I'm always excited about the stuff that she enjoys doing. I hate social media.

00:09:56 - Eliza Boquin
She loves social media.

00:09:58 - Eboni Harris
I hate social media. So we often just kind of bounce off of each other and just compliment each other.

00:10:04 - Amber Hawley
Perfect. We love a good symbiotic relationship. That's awesome.

00:10:08 - Maelisa Hall
So I love that you guys do have this symbiosis. Can you talk more about how you manage having this together? Because you have a podcast, you have a whole business, you have a directory. I mean, thinking from Amber and I's perspective, you have a lot more enmeshed than she and I do.
So how do you figure out your responsibilities and who's doing what and money and all of that?

00:10:31 - Eliza Boquin
I think that was being entrepreneurs and being psychotherapists and just being businesswomen. We were like, okay, And I think it helped that we didn't have a personal relationship prior to this, right? Because yes, we knew of one another, but we didn't have, oh, I don't want to hurt your feelings if we talk about money.
But because we're also entrepreneurs, we're businesswomen, we're like, yeah, this isn't about hurting one another's feelings. We're going to talk about... We both want to be successful. And so we're both businesswomen. And we both understand that there has to be some clear expectations.
That lunch, it was like, okay, Clearly there is something here. Let's do business. If we're going to do business, let's make sure that we're really clear from the beginning what we're expecting.

I think both of us knew that we were in it. I just knew this about her and I'm guessing she knew that about me. It wasn't about egos. It wasn't about getting over on one another. And let's put a contract up and let's talk about, so what are you going to be responsible for?
What am I going to be responsible for? And so I just think like, because we were really clear on our expectations and didn't really shy away from having those conversations early on. And I think that it helped that we didn't know each other really that personally.
We just, from the beginning, we're just very clear, like let's get it in writing and not just like contract, but like, okay, so what are the tasks you like to do? Because I hate to do this. And so you're going to be responsible for that. And we'll still, we have, regular check-ins and getting more help.

00:12:12 - Amber Hawley
That was going to be my next question. How do you guys structure your communication? I know, obviously, you're sharing an office. So there's... I'm guessing you see each other sometimes there, but... No. We have opposite schedules. Oh, okay. Okay. So you're literally sharing the one office.
So you're... Okay. So we always ask all the biz besties because we have a very... We call it an unstructured structure where... We just kind of are talking almost every day. So it's a little different than some people. But there are some people who have a very set, like, okay, every Friday we do this.
So just a little bit more about how you guys structure that.

00:12:48 - Eboni Harris
We've definitely moved into that. I think in the beginning, it definitely was just like every day, all day, at night. This just popped up.

00:12:57 - Eliza Boquin
This is my thought process.

00:12:58 - Eboni Harris
This is what I'm thinking. And so now we moved into every Monday morning at 9 a.m. We meet, phone call. Yeah, most of them it's just a phone call and just kind of go over what the goals are for the past week, what are our goals for this week. But we definitely still, and we see each other every Wednesday because we do the podcast together and we do a live Facebook podcast and we're always, we're at the office.
And, but we still talk a lot. Basically yesterday we spent the whole day together. The thing is, like she kind of said earlier, like we, I hadn't known each other that long before we started the business together. But since starting the business together, we've gotten a lot closer.
So we spend a lot more time. We talk about a lot more personal stuff. And so yesterday wasn't necessarily a business day, even though we did talk about some business, but it was a lot of other stuff going on as well. And so we try to... I'm more of the structured person.
Yes. At least as... So I'm the person that's like, all right, let's stop texting.

Let's stop texting. Let's use Slack or, you know, let's try Trello and see what this is about or whatever it may be. So just to try to make it where we can still have that personal relationship. And so I know I'm very conscious of like, if I want to tell her something random, I'll send her a text message.
versus if it's about business, I'll make sure to go to the Slack app and talk about it there. So I try, and I think Alyssa does, so I don't feel like I get very many business stuff via text, unless it's something I need to respond to immediately. Because sometimes she doesn't get the notice on the Slack, so I'm like, okay, I need you to see this.

00:14:21 - Eliza Boquin
Sometimes I'm listening to my own world.

00:14:24 - Eboni Harris
So yeah, so we both kind of have, it was a learned thing. We had to kind of move in that direction, but we have kind of, we tried to make it more of a, if this is about business, this is the area we'll go to, especially because we have a personal relationship.
Yeah.

00:14:36 - Eliza Boquin
Well, and I think it helps that. So I process out loud. I'll be like, oh, what about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I tend to be a creative also. So I'm like, oh, ideas, right? And so she's like, okay, let's take that idea and put it into the system.
And make it more like, what are the logistics? I'm like, oh yeah, the process. So she's always kind of like, bring this to the process. And this is what we will, okay, all right, yeah. And I think the benefit to that, I think because we have this real respect for one another is that I'm being influenced by some of those structures, some of that structure that she has, right?
So, I mean, I don't know if she's being influenced by me, but I am learning some of that as well. Part of it is because it's like, okay, we need to put this here to reference it. So I'm learning. I'm growing from the relationship as well.

00:15:26 - Eboni Harris
Yeah, we both definitely are. Because even like you said, the ideas where I'm kind of like, I have an idea and I was like, oh, well, that's too big. We can't even talk about that now. Now we have a board on Trello that's like limitless. Maybe we will meet the president.
But maybe we won't meet Trump.

00:15:42 - Eliza Boquin
Oprah one day.

00:15:45 - Maelisa Hall
Yes, you will.

00:15:46 - Eliza Boquin
Yes.

00:15:48 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, we have Oprah on our list. You know, who knows when it is, but we want to have another BizBestie interview. We're going to have her and Gail on because, you know, BizBestie. Oh, there you go. So just put that out there, Oprah, in case you hear this.

00:16:04 - Eboni Harris
If anybody knows Oprah, pass it along.

00:16:08 - Maelisa Hall
Let her know. There are four dope therapists waiting to meet her. Absolutely. In case you're listening, Brene.

00:16:15 - Amber Hawley
There you go. We just go through the list, but speak it into existence.

00:16:23 - Eliza Boquin
Absolutely.

00:16:24 - Maelisa Hall
Absolutely. But I love that. So you're like, you're both learning from one another and growing, but then also encouraging one another to think bigger too. Yeah.

00:16:32 - Eliza Boquin
Right. Definitely. Right.

00:16:34 - Amber Hawley
Yeah. I think that's one of the big benefits of having the BizBestie is somebody who supports you and gets you, but also challenges you and helps you grow and look at the bigger stuff and not put limits on yourself. So I think that's the perfect blend when you have all of those things.
I am curious because we like to geek out on all of our personality tests here on the My BizBestie podcast. So as you were talking, I've made some assumptions in my head.

00:17:02 - Eliza Boquin
Do you guys know your Myers-Briggs? I forget mine.

00:17:05 - Eboni Harris
I remember I had to do that in career counseling, but I don't remember. I've done it so many times because I used to teach a psychology class. I'll make my students do it. I want to say I'm INFP. I actually have it on my social media somewhere. But my I and my E will switch out depending on what I have going on.
I'm not 100% sure. I want to look it up now. I'm like, what is it?

00:17:29 - Eliza Boquin
Yeah.

00:17:30 - Eboni Harris
And at least that you don't remember yours.

00:17:32 - Eliza Boquin
I don't remember, but it was pretty spot on. Definitely an extrovert.

00:17:37 - Amber Hawley
So interesting. Well, so we make, and I do this with my, because my specialty is couples counseling. So I do this with my couples a lot is I have them go to 16personalities.com for which we get no payment. I'm just saying, because it's free, but it's a shortened version of the Myers-Briggs.
And I find that it's really useful, but I like it because clearly you guys are vastly different in personality and how you approach things. But like you said before, it's very symbiotic. So I just think that's so great to kind of note for the listeners is somebody doesn't have to be like you, because Melissa and I are both ENFPs.
So obviously, that's fantastic. And we also need some structure sometimes. Yes, exactly. Well, this is why... This is the downside, we need to hire someone to do the structure.

00:18:29 - Eliza Boquin
Yes, well, I think part of why it works also is because I think the core values of why we're doing this and what it is like. Even though maybe our dreams, like the specifics of it, may look different, I think what we value is. as women, as business women, as women of color, those core values that are driving us to do this are where we share the same goal.
And so I think that's why the differences, they work more as a compliment than they do as a block. And I think a big part, I mean, and I think it helps also that we're therapists. So it's like, we need to have a conversation. So do you really want to do, well, I don't, you know, so I think those skills that we have as therapists also helps also because it's like, okay, let's have this conversation like about, I don't really want to do this and we should have it this way.

And so we're able to have maybe sometimes uncomfortable conversations.

00:19:28 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And you both focus on relationships, right?

00:19:30 - Eliza Boquin
Yes.

00:19:31 - Maelisa Hall
Right. Yeah. So you're used to like a difficult conversation. For sure.

00:19:37 - Eboni Harris
I think that does have a lot like what you were saying about opposites and symbiotic relationships. I think the most important thing is the comfort and being able to bring up things that like having those confrontational conversations, like having those conversations about, look, I don't, I'm not feeling this anymore.
What do we need to do about this? And so that could be more important than like the personality. I mean, personality is pretty good, but I think that's very important also to figure out what kind of communicator you are and how do you feel about when someone does bring something up to you, do you take it personally or can you look at it like, no, this is the business.
At least it has helped me a lot in even that, like I'll kind of, I'm more passive. And so I'll be like, well, I'm kind of tired of doing this. This is a lot. I don't know. And she's like, well, why don't you just ask somebody else to do it? I'm like, I don't know.
I'm like, I can do that thing.

Right. And so now I'm a lot more comfortable being like, hey, can you do this? Is this okay? You know, as opposed to before, I was just like, I'll just do it. Well, I thought it was like, oh, she loves to do it. All the things. Okay. And I think it comes from before we started working together, I already had my other podcast.
And since it's my podcast, even though I have three other people on it, I had to do everything for it. And so in this, I'm just like, I'm used to doing everything. So I'll just take care of it. I'll take care of it. And she was like, well, I can do it.
Like, I like talking to people.

00:20:54 - Eliza Boquin
I like doing them.

00:20:55 - Eboni Harris
Like, oh, yes, please.

00:20:59 - Eliza Boquin
Yeah. And I do think, again, it goes back to I think there's a real like reverence as far as, Oh, I really respect how you do these things. I want to know how to do more of those things. You know, like she's very like logical and like, so this is how we're going to do it.
And where I might be more in the emoting and it's like, okay, well let's keep going. Right. So, and those are the parts of me that I'm still working on and developing. So I think it helps. not just business-wise, but to see how when challenges arise, how does she process it?
And because I have respect for her, and I know she's a go-getter and she wants to succeed, I allow myself, in Gottman's terms, to be influenced by that.

00:21:45 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. And I love how you both mentioned this very strong sense of mutual respect between the two of you. And I'm also curious if because you started out around... recognizing that there's a big need in the community and then having a therapist directory and having meetups for other therapists.
How do you continue fostering that community? Are you helping other therapists create these types of connections and meet with one another? Because that does seem like it's... Especially women of color, I think specifically, it's so important to have other people you can talk with about these things and to meet other people where you can go to a meeting and feel...
you know, feel safe, feel like you don't have to restrict what you're saying and everything. So, you know, in what ways are you still creating that community?

00:22:31 - Eboni Harris
I think, I mean, that's part of just how it naturally started with the first meetup and then our subsequent happy hours and events and things like that. We heard so much about people finding supervisors, people finding jobs, things like that. Just people going into business together just because they met at an event and they clicked.
It is, that's a huge part of it. It's just that safety and the type of conversations, the type of openness you can have in certain environments. And so we definitely push them to kind of get to know each other and spend time with each other. Like I am not a big networker at all, but like at the events, if I hear somebody say something like, at our last event, we had somebody looking for a job and she specifically said what she was looking for.
And then somebody walked in like maybe 30 minutes later that was basically exactly what she needed.

00:23:15 - Eliza Boquin
I was like, where is she at?

00:23:16 - Eboni Harris
We have to put y'all together. You know, like, so we get the importance of it. connecting clearly because what we've been able to build, and sometimes it feels like this is even bigger than us, whereas the importance of it and the magnitude or the impact that it's having within our communities where people are, not only are we working with those communities to try to reduce the stigma, but the therapists are developing and becoming better therapists because of it as well.

00:23:37 - Eliza Boquin
And I think them seeing kind of what we say like on our podcast and everything is really changing the face of therapy on both sides of the couch. And what we mean is getting therapists of color involved in the therapist's couch, you know, being the therapist and then getting more people of color on the client couch.
And so a big part of that is because when we came into this field, being women of color and just trying to figure out how to navigate these spaces where you might be the only one. Right. And so I think it helps us in our own development as clinicians, as business women to, to say, oh, if we continue to kind of just be authentic to who we are and bring more of who we are into what we're doing in all aspects.
So part of why I think the social media is as popular as it is, is because we're just talking like we would talk every day.

We're not coming from this psychology jargon. That doesn't mean we don't have the skills and the training and the education and all of that, but we want it to be accessible to our communities. And I think that includes the clinicians in the field.

00:24:48 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah. You seem to have a really unique following or at least based on the stuff that's in the podcast, it can be for the everyday person and it can also be beneficial to other mental health professionals. So I imagine that you have a mixed following there.
That way, I don't know for sure, but... I think it's unique because you have tapped into something that's a little bit more specific about stigma in certain communities and mental health. And you're able to meet a more specific need that way that might be a broader audience.

00:25:20 - Eboni Harris
Right. I think definitely from the outside, we get a lot of clinicians that listen just because we are talking about therapy and mental health. And maybe they're more interested than the lay public sometimes. Right. We try our best to make sure that we introduce different healing modalities that were not only focused on therapy.
Yes, we're therapists. And so we promoted a lot. But we talk about, we talk to people that have other coaching businesses or that have found their healing in different ways. And we try to open it up where. we want our communities to heal and that's it.
So whatever that looks like, however we get there, we're fine with that. So we want to make sure that you have this access and you can learn that, okay, maybe I don't feel like going to therapy, but there may be, oh, at least you don't get mad at me.

00:26:02 - Eliza Boquin
What are you trying to do right now? The healing, like, so energy healing or yeah. Yeah.

00:26:08 - Eboni Harris
So we want to make sure that they have that, like, maybe this doesn't feel comfortable. Maybe this aligns more with who you are. Like, it's okay. It doesn't have to look the way that you may think it looks or something that may make you uncomfortable.
Because a lot of times what we've talked about a lot lately is that modern therapy and the way it looks now isn't really for us. It sometimes doesn't feel like it's for us. And so we want to make sure that they understand that there are a lot of other options out there as well.

00:26:28 - Eliza Boquin
Yeah. And that therapy doesn't have to look like maybe how they think. It's going to look, you know, like, cause that's a big, you know, what often comes up is, well, I'm not going to be able to relate to that therapist. Right. And I think using, I mean, words matter and how you speak and how you show up as a therapist.
Right. I think that, oh, okay. So when someone can identify with either one of us, right. As a clinician, right. And I think Part of what is helpful with that is we also have this business background because part of what we're really... I hate using the word passionate because I feel like it's so played out, right?
But part of what we're passionate about is that this can also be a business and that's okay.

Because I think as therapists, we think we have to have this oath of poverty if we're helping people. And so... That I think is part of what we're trying to do as well, because we want it to be something that it's a field that's attractive for people to come into, you know?
So we could talk about this all day. We'll just go on.

00:27:38 - Amber Hawley
I was like, I'll steer us back to more business oriented question. But I heard you mentioned that you guys tend to have some boundaries in your communication and use Slack mostly. for business. So Slack and Trello, those are your apps of choice.

00:27:57 - Eliza Boquin
Dropbox. Ebony loves her from Dropbox.

00:28:01 - Eboni Harris
Yes. What else are we doing? At least it's like, where is it?

00:28:04 - Eliza Boquin
I'm like, in Dropbox. Yes. And I'm so visual. I'm such a visual person that I'm like, so I'm going to pick a copy of that in Trello. Because I love seeing like the boards and I get to put a different picture in the background. So, yeah. Yeah. I love that.
I love it.

00:28:23 - Amber Hawley
Yeah, because we just had this debate in the interview we did yesterday about that we might need to try revisiting Voxer now that Melissa is moving on to a boat.

00:28:31 - Eliza Boquin
Oh, wow. That's cool.

00:28:34 - Eboni Harris
Yes.

00:28:35 - Maelisa Hall
Most pairs that we have interviewed use Voxer, not everybody, but but a lot of people use Voxer.

00:28:42 - Eliza Boquin
We haven't just started using that with somebody else. And I was like, Okay, let me try and see what are the benefits of this? Because if I introduce anything to Ebony, I better let her know what the but why? But why do I need to download another app like?

00:28:55 - Amber Hawley
It better be good? That was our thing. And we heard it from so many people that we're like, okay, we'll give it a shot. And then it just went like nowhere with us.

00:29:07 - Eliza Boquin
Right.

00:29:07 - Amber Hawley
But then I recently realized I was like, oh, this would be fantastic with my assistant though. Cause there are times I'm like, I don't want to type it. I don't want to write an email, but I also don't want you to answer.

00:29:17 - Eliza Boquin
I just want to talk and I don't want to hear words.

00:29:24 - Eboni Harris
Right.

00:29:24 - Eliza Boquin
That's true. That's true. Yes, that's true. That may.

00:29:28 - Amber Hawley
Oh, look it up real quick. Yeah. Yeah. So we might give it another shot, but I think people always appreciate like, what are the different means in which you communicate? And I like that you talked about the boundary of that, like, you know, using more tech for the personal stuff or, you know, emergencies as always.
Right.

00:29:45 - Eliza Boquin
Yeah.

00:29:45 - Amber Hawley
Or having, you know, those other means that you're utilizing. Yeah. And it sounds like because of the podcast and being in the same town, you actually get to see each other every week. So that's pretty great.

00:29:56 - Eliza Boquin
Well, and we also use the texting for mainly me for like really corny memes and jokes. She's like, I don't know why you think this is funny. Right.

00:30:09 - Eboni Harris
So in Slack, before I even introduced Slack, I made sure I did research on that stuff. And one of the things they said was you have like a water cooler channel or a random channel. And that was why I was like, yes. We need this because her and one of our other Justin likes to talk about reality TV.
And I'm like, can we just talk about what's the plan for tomorrow? So now we're supposed to have different channels for different things. It works out they get to binge and talk about it over there.

00:30:39 - Eliza Boquin
Did you see the episode of 90 Day Fiance? She's like, okay, I don't need to be here. I'm going to be over here. in the to-do.

00:30:48 - Amber Hawley
You're not watching that show. I am!

00:30:50 - Eliza Boquin
Don't shame me.

00:30:52 - Amber Hawley
I was just going to say, I'm not going to shame you. But I did. I'm not going to shame you because I'm a real housewives watcher. So I still feel like that's a step up from 90 Day Fiancé, but I'm not going to be. Because I understand.

00:31:11 - Eliza Boquin
I like to think of it as research as a relationship therapist. I like to use this as research as. and data that I'm collecting.

00:31:23 - Amber Hawley
And that is why I watched very Cavallari recently. I'm not quite sure what for, but expand, expand.

00:31:30 - Maelisa Hall
And this is where Amber and I are like opposite ends of the spectrum. Cause I'm like, I don't even know who all these people are.

00:31:36 - Eliza Boquin
I don't know any of these shows and, That's Ebony. Yeah.

00:31:41 - Maelisa Hall
She'll be like, I don't even understand how we're friends.

00:31:48 - Eliza Boquin
How do we get here?

00:31:48 - Maelisa Hall
So kind of wrapping up here, do you have any final thoughts on encouraging other people and maybe even encouraging specifically women of color who might be listening who want to find their community? Do you have any tips for them or things that you found helpful?

00:32:04 - Eboni Harris
I'll say... Test it out. I think, so like I said earlier, I can be a little passive, but I also have high expectations of myself and I sometimes have high expectations of others. And so I think it's important to kind of test it out and even testing out that communication because we all, and this is going to probably go more through our therapy than anything.
you want. But we all make up stories in our head about situations and scenarios and things like that. And so recognizing what's a story that you've made up and what's reality is very important. And so I think it's good to test it out to actually have a conversation with the person or with the community.
If you feel like this isn't for me, have a conversation because you could have just made up that whole story in your head and that wasn't the reality. And so that could be stopping you from connecting with other people.

00:32:46 - Eliza Boquin
And I would say create it, right? Like, so if it's not there, what you want, Create it, you know, and sometimes somebody is just waiting for somebody else to do it, right, like, we'll get that feedback. Oh, yeah, you know, like, we need this, and it's like, we just.
We needed it too. And it was like, So let's do this thing and then see what happens, right? So create it.

00:33:11 - Maelisa Hall
Yeah, I think that's the best, some of the best advice and it. It may be hard, but it's just like. You know, like when I do trainings, I always say like, if you're thinking of a question, five other people probably are too.

00:33:22 - Eliza Boquin
Go ahead and answer it.

00:33:23 - Maelisa Hall
You know, it's like, yeah, if you need it and you recognize a need, try it out. Worst case scenario, you end up having a nice dinner by yourself, right?

00:33:31 - Eliza Boquin
Absolutely. That just made me sad.

00:33:37 - Amber Hawley
You probably won't be by yourself, but if you are. But if you are, no one's going to know.

00:33:42 - Eliza Boquin
No one's going to know. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

00:33:49 - Amber Hawley
Oh, well, thank you guys so much for coming on and sharing your story. It's a great one. And yeah, I love it that you're our first social media reach out.

00:33:57 - Eliza Boquin
That's awesome.

00:33:58 - Amber Hawley
I love the irony that you don't like social media. And I was like, she's great at it.

00:34:03 - Eboni Harris
This is back at the top. And I was like, you have to do it. Just do it. And now I'm like, I'll do what feels good to me.

00:34:10 - Maelisa Hall
That's all. That shows you're busy savvy though, right?

00:34:12 - Amber Hawley
You were like...

00:34:13 - Eliza Boquin
I think that's great advice though.

00:34:15 - Amber Hawley
Yes. You're like, okay, I know I need to push my comfort zone and do this.

00:34:19 - Eliza Boquin
Exactly. It worked. It worked out. Amazing.

00:34:25 - Maelisa Hall
Wonderful. Where is the best place for people to find out about your joint podcast? or even they may be interested in Ebony's podcast as well.

00:34:34 - Eboni Harris
Okay. So for Melanin and Mental Health, you can go to melaninandmentalhealth.com. You can follow us across social media at Melanin and Mental Health, Melanin and Health on Twitter. And then between sessions podcast, you can find every podcast. So it's iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play.
We also, we do live videos on Facebook every Wednesday at 11am and we post those on YouTube the following Monday. So you check out Melanin and Mental Health on YouTube and you will see all of the podcasts that we've done. My podcast, same, it's called Room for Relations.
You can find it everywhere. Not videos, we don't do videos, but you can find it across iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, iHeartRadio, things like that.

00:35:07 - Amber Hawley
Well, this was an awesome story of how social media and networking can really enhance your life and help you find that business support system. So if you need some tips or some encouragement in that, we have our masterclass on networking available on mybizbusty.
com forward slash. networking. And you can go there and it's a wonderful two-hour class. Actually, it's jam-packed with information about how to approach your networking. It gives you strategies, suggestions, tools, how to make it fun, even if you're an introvert.
So head on over to mybizbesty.com forward slash networking and check that out today.