That project that you feel so much unclarity around. That paralyzing overwhelm you have when looking at your calendar. That solo podcast episode you just don’t feel like recording. (Guilty!)
I feel like I’m a pro at getting stuck, but I’m also a pro at getting UNstuck too. This week on the podcast, I’m sharing some of my favorite and time-tested strategies for getting unstuck so you can feel more energetic and less overwhelmed and say goodbye to the emotional resistance.
No single strategy will work every time, which is why I’m giving you 10!
Links and Resources:
Time Stamps:
[0:42] – The other side of getting sh*t done
[1:15] – Three different ways we feel stuck
[1:56] – Energetically stuck
[3:18] – Feeling overwhelm
[4:56] – Emotional resistance…
[7:50] – what do you do about being stuck
[12:02] – Feeling resistance in a bigger project
[13:02] – Give yourself permission to do something else for a while
[16:50] – Coworking is a gamechanger
[19:06] – Talk it out
Transcription
Amber Hawley 0:01
Business owners are increasingly being pulled in so many directions, feeling like they aren’t reaching their full potential in business and life despite their type aways. With my background as a therapist, entrepreneur, and as a.com dropout with ADHD, I interview and coach high achieving business owners like you who want to stop struggling for success by using psychological systems, strategies, and the occasional care for entation. This is the easily distracted entrepreneur, your place to slay, overwhelm perfectionism and shiny object syndrome so that you can get done what matters most to you.
Amber Hawley 0:41
Hello, hello, my focusing friends, welcome back to the podcast. Today we’re going to talk about getting unstuck. You know, I love to talk about getting shit done, you know, GSD. And if you’re going to have it’s kind of that yin and Yang, if you have on one hand, the GSD on the other end of the spectrum is feeling stuck. It’s just kind of that natural balance of things that it’s going to inevitably come up for you. And when I started thinking about this, of like, why are there what are the different ways in which we feel stuck? Because sometimes it’s different, right? And, and then what are the ways we can get out of that. And so some of them kind of, you know, depending on how you’re stuck, might give you a little bit of a clue of how to try getting unstuck.
Amber Hawley 1:33
So in my, when I was thinking about it, I kind of came up with three buckets, there’s sometimes energetically we feel stuck, sometimes we feel overwhelmed. And sometimes we have emotional resistance. And so I’m just going to go into those just a little bit further, to kind of explain that and talk about how that might show up for you. So sometimes we have energy issues, right? I mean, if you are in your 40s, even late 30s, or 50s, I think you definitely know all about shifting energy. It seems to be something that a lot of my friends and clients and myself are have been talking about lately. And it’s that whole perimenopause menopausal stage, so fun. But it definitely impacts our energy, right. And so it could be, maybe you didn’t sleep well. And so you’re feeling kind of low energy, or maybe you’re sick.
Amber Hawley 2:31
Other ways that our energy gets impacted, especially for ADHD people is we could just be hungry or dehydrated, because we were busy hyper focusing, and all of a sudden we look up, it’s four in the afternoon and you haven’t eaten anything or drank anything since you first woke up. So it can be something as simple as that those biological needs needs to need to be addressed.
Amber Hawley 2:54
It also could be that maybe you’ve been working way too long without a break. So you’re just sitting get up, you feel like you have a big to do list or especially if you’re in the middle of a launch or a big project, you have a busy day, and you just sit at your computer and work all day. And you don’t actually take a proper break. Like every there’s many ways in which our energy can be impacted. So when it comes to overwhelm, sometimes we feel overwhelmed. And we don’t know where to start. There’s just like too many things in our head. And we’re all over the place. And we are like I don’t even know where to begin with this. So we feel stuck. Sometimes it’s a lack of clarity about what actually needs to be done. So sometimes it is like a knowledge base of like, oh, do I do I even know what I need to do to get this thing done? Or where do I start with that. Sometimes it’s a lack of clarity about what it’s most important for you to be getting done.
Amber Hawley 3:54
Other ways that clarity can be impacted when we’re overwhelmed is a lack of clarity about how you want to handle something. So that can kind of make us feel like we’re stuck because we want to make decisions or we want to move forward on something. But we’re actually not sure how we want to handle it. You know, whether that’s when you’re creating processes, or you want to respond to like a client or somebody, a vendor or somebody that works for you. That can keep us in a in a place of feeling stuck. And sometimes too many things that our date dependence, like if we’re feeling that crunch of like, I have 10 really important valid things that need to be done in the next three days and it just doesn’t feel realistic. That overwhelm can can kind of shut us down and make us feel stuck to even get anything done.
Amber Hawley 4:49
So that other bucket that other ways I see people getting stuck is having emotional resistance. That would be you know, sometimes we have I have tasks that we have never done before. And or we don’t feel clear about what we need to do, that one will keep people stuck for something that’s, you know, theoretically very small or easy to accomplish. But if you’re just not sure, or if it’s just one of those things, where you’re like, I’m not, you know, it might take a little, like research or time, or you might have to ask for help or check in with somebody, it can just leave us feeling a little paralyzed, right.
Amber Hawley 5:29
So there’s different types of stuckness in that. And I will say, especially for people with ADHD, this is one of those things where, whenever I’m, you know, unclear about a task I, I am way more resistant, I procrastinate, I feel stuck on it, I don’t it, I let that become a big barrier for me. And I know that that’s common for many people with ADHD. So it’s just one of those things to be aware of. And the other one could be, we’re really stressed out about the feedback or response that we’re going to get to whatever the task is that we have to do. For some people, it could be making a vulnerable piece of content, whether that’s a blog post, or a podcast, or social media post, or putting something in the world, that you know that there’s a good chance that you’re going to get negative feedback, or you’re going to upset somebody. Another way that can kind of show up our way that looks is if we have to have a difficult conversation with perhaps a staff member or a client, and we’re just really unsure of how they’re going to respond to it, that can make us feel stuck and kind of feel that paralyzed place of like, I just want to avoid this. And I don’t want to do it. And I think the last way is, we don’t address something that’s really important in our business or in our life, really, it could be either or.
Amber Hawley 7:00
And so there’s something really big in our life that we’re not addressing. And that actually impacts all of our other work, right, because of the stress that comes from it. Because of like the nagging overwhelm that we have in the back of our brain. It keeps us in a place where we’re not able to be fully present. And when we’re not able to be present. And we have this thing kind of going in the back of our brain, it’s very hard to be creative, or to show up or to move through things, right. So I’m sure there are other ways that people feel stuck, or that you have felt stuck as well. But I think that this covers a lot of the typical ones that I see when I’m working with clients, or even when I thought about myself and all the different ways that I get stuck. So what do you do about it? Like I said, sometimes it depends, like, why are you stuck, what’s going on for you. So the first one I’m going to always say is, maybe you need to take a break.
Amber Hawley 8:00
So rest is often the antidote, and it can feel so like what’s like, that’s the whole point, I’m not getting something done, I’m feeling stuck, like how is resting gonna help me, it’s just gonna make me, you know, feel more stressed out. But giving ourselves like a little breather. And sometimes that could be short, sometimes it can be just like 20 minutes, sometimes it’s an hour. And sometimes we’re like, you know what, energetically today, my brain is just not feeling in the place to be creative. Like if this is a creative project that you’re feeling stuck on. I’m just I don’t have the mental energy today. So I’m going to wait. And I’m going to do it tomorrow. And I’m going to make it my top priority. So sometimes you just need to give yourself that break. The other one is eat something, right? Eat something hydrates, if you realize like, oh, you know, I’m feeling like I’m feeling kind of done and energetically just, I can’t do it. And I don’t want to get this thing done. Or sometimes you just need eat.
Amber Hawley 9:01
So one of my favorite ways to get unstuck when I know that I’m kind of putting off something, you know, important that I need to do, which, in my case, probably the one that I most consistently get stuck on is recording solo podcast episodes. I know they’re important to do, but I would much rather just talk to somebody than sit by myself and talk to my screen. So I constantly do everything else. And then I leave it for when I’m low energy. But there are times where I’m like okay, I absolutely have to I have people breathing down my neck now. So my favorite thing to do is take a drive to a local coffee shop. And ideally, it’s a beautiful day in this little scenario. Can I have the windows down so I’m getting some fresh air some sunlight, and I’m playing my loud music that makes me happy. And I go get something to eat or to drink some coffee, whatever or, and I just get that little break. And it might be 20 to 30 minutes, but I kind of come back a little rejuvenated, you know, and especially when that tasty pastry or cookie kicks in that little sugar boost. This was this is not a health related podcast episode. But you know, sometimes that’s all I need. And, and it’s really because I’m combining a lot of the strategies that I’m going to tell you about.
Amber Hawley 10:24
And so the next one is listen to music. And so like that, for me, I know that that’s my best case scenario, if I go take that for myself, even if I take an hour or a half an hour, or 45 minutes or so, listen to music, get outside, get something to eat, just kind of break it up, you know, and then come back, I’m kind of refreshed and rejuvenated and ready to go. So yeah, eat something, listen to music, get outside, get out of your head and into your body. That’s my next suggestion. So doing something physical, so many of us are in very cerebral jobs, right where service providers or content makers, and you are constantly thinking about things and analyzing things and taking care of things, especially in your business. And we just sometimes need to get out of being in our head and into our body, because that can help us get unstuck because we’re just overthinking or perseverating on something. So doing taking a walk going outside, again, because you’re getting the vitamin D, you’re getting a little fresh air change of scenery, you could do some yoga, like you could do that in your office, you don’t have to leave your office, if you don’t want to doing some yoga or stretching, or dancing. Like that’s one of my other favorite things to do is play music and just kind of dance for just like even one song, it’s just a couple of minutes where I’m shifting my energy and just kind of getting into my body.
Amber Hawley 11:57
When I’m feeling like I have a bigger projects, like a bigger creative project that I’m trying to tackle. And I’m feeling kind of that stuckness or resistance or it’s like it feels like a slog, like it’s hard to come up with ideas or to kind of articulate myself, I love getting a massage. One I’d never hurts to address any kind of physical pain that we might have going on. And frankly, sitting on a computer and in a chair for 10 to 12 hours a day, it’s going to happen, right? But when I’m getting a massage, it’s I get to kind of like be fully present and what’s happening. And of course, it feels wonderful, and it’s relaxing. But my mind just is allowed to kind of like floats. And you know, I pay attention to what’s happening. But inevitably, I get fantastic ideas and I kind of the energy starts to flow it like unblocks energy, right? Like you could do the same thing with acupuncture, anything that moves energy in your body is going to move energy in your mind. Another thing you can do about really in regards to like moving your body is cleaning or decluttering. And I know that anybody who’s tried to, like tackle a major project, or they have to write something or, you know, whether again, it’s content or grants, or whatever it is. They know like sometimes we can do like procrastinate, cleaning isn’t so sometimes it is procrastination.
Amber Hawley 13:25
But sometimes you realize, Okay, I’ve got to give myself a little bit of this, because that’s going to allow my brain to get unstuck. So it’s finding that balance of not giving in constantly procrastinating and avoiding the thing, but giving yourself permission. So intentionally saying, I’m going to do something to kind of change my environment or to physically get some energy out and to shift things. So sometimes it’s procrastination, and sometimes it’s a valid energy shifting strategy.
Amber Hawley 13:58
I leave that for you to decide. The other thing is, I think it can be helpful to get playful, get playful with the projects, or the task, is there a way that you can approach the thing that you’re feeling stuck with in a more easeful way that you can, you know, let go of some of those perfectionistic tendencies or just like approach it from a place you know, changing the energy of even I have to, to I get to, but doing it in a playful way, like being a little silly about it, or, you know, just letting it not be such a big deal, right? Because that’s nothing will get us stuck more than making something a big deal.
Amber Hawley 14:40
An example I have that came up recently for me was when I was on my book writing Tour, where I traveled for a month and was working on my book, all while still seeing clients and taking care of things but I was without my family. So I had a lot more theoretical I had a lot more space to get things done. But initially, I kept saying, I am going to write a solid first draft while I’m on this trip, which ended up being about three and a half weeks long. And I kept saying it’s going to be a solid first draft, like I felt that it had to be really good. And I was having a hard time getting into writing, and I did all of my tricks. You know, I have other tricks that I do when I need to get, you know, get worked on. And they just, it was having such a struggle with it. And then finally, I was like, You know what, I need to not make this be such a big deal. So, even shifting, and then from then on, I kept talking about it as my shitty first draft. And I kind of made jokes about it, and then I gave myself permission to just write a shitty first draft of things, it was enough to get me unstuck.
Amber Hawley 15:53
So whether it’s making it playful, or shifting the energy to not make it such a big deal, it allows us to then move forward. Right. And that’s, that’s kind of that emotional resistance thing I was having this perfectionism, this idea that it had to look a certain way. And that was keeping me from even getting started. The other thing you can do when you’re feeling stuck, is try to gamify it. So that kind of goes into that playfulness. But you know, is there a way that you as you reach, like milestones that you earn rewards for yourself, or, you know, if you can get so much done by a certain time, like the end of the day, you know, again, there’s different levels of rewards or something like that, that can be a fun way to be more focused on the reward and less on the thing that you’re feeling stuck around. Another one of my favorite strategies is get a buddy and CO work. I have seen this, this work time and time again, whether it was for myself when I’ve had a really long day, but I know that I have to get something done. That’s important. And it’s not one of those days, because there are some days where I’m like, You know what I’m just done. And at the end of the day, my band was done. I need to take a break, I’ll have to get it done tomorrow. But there are some times we’re like, Nope, I need to push through. And I will reach out to her friends and have them do online co working with me. And just you know, keep a timer and we do the Pomodoro method.
Amber Hawley 17:25
I think I’ve talked about this on other podcast episodes. And so my friend sometimes will just be watching her TV show, but she’ll keep a timer and check in at me check in with me after 25 minutes, you know, we’ll do it, we’ll play some music, she always you know, play some music, we do a little dancing or talking catching up. And after a five minute break, then it’s another 25 minutes. And we just keep going until I get the things done. And I do that for other people as well. Just having somebody there for accountability. had so many people in the membership, talk about how the co working sessions have been transformational for them. You know, whether that’s like, I have a lot of therapists in my membership, and they talk about, oh, I have to do like a treatment plans or notes. And they’re, you know, avoiding it not kidding, it’s on and they’re like, okay, but today we have co working I know I’m gonna get it done then. And just having somebody else there and having a little bit of accountability works. It’s just it’s kind of one of those magical things that shouldn’t work, but do. And just as an example of this, as I’m recording this episode, right now, I actually have my friend Abby Herman on zoom on mute, co working with me, we are both working on our solo episodes, because that we have a little bit of resistance around recording them. And so we said, You know what, we’re gonna do it, have some accountability and get it done. And I assure you, I think today, if I wasn’t in the meeting with her, there’s no way I’d be recording this right now. So that’s one of my favorite strategies.
Amber Hawley 19:05
The other one can just be talking it out with somebody just kind of talking about where you’re feeling stuck, or what’s going on for them to help you identify, like, what kind of stuckness is going on, or what is their resistance, what’s happening, and even strategizing, if it’s one of those things about a lack of clarity. So whether that’s a business bestie or a team member or your coach, reaching out to somebody who can kind of give you feedback, like I said, around getting clarity or kind of moving forward. And I know we’ve talked about this before we’re, you know, like, you know, I remember one time feeling just kind of all over the place and I didn’t have clarity in what I was supposed to get done for the day. And I was kind of feeling overwhelmed and I called Melissa my biz bestie and she was like, what will what will bring in revenue. And she and I and she said do that and I did it and it was like it sometimes We just need, we’re so stuck that having somebody give us a little bit of clarity gets the ball, rolling, right, build some momentum.
Amber Hawley 20:07
And then my last strategy that I’m going to share is do something else first. Sometimes if we’re feeling so stuck, again, we’re in our head, we’ve built up all this resistance, we’re making it bigger and harder than it needs to be. Sometimes we just need to build momentum of checking something off of our list. And we just need to find something, get that done first, kind of get a little weird and get a little momentum going in our and how we’re feeling and then move on to that come back to that project that you’re feeling a little stuck on. Again, it can seem like, I know, sometimes we can use we can do these things as a way to procrastinate. And I think there is that fine line between intentionally choosing something to kind of build momentum, and like, kind of being in denial or not wanting to deal with it, and just continue to do all kinds of other tasks. So it’s, it’s really about that intentionality, and being mindful so that you’re not just going to spend the whole rest of the day doing something else. So I’m hoping that with looking at this, like, how is your where is your stuckness? Or your shutdown or procrastination showing up? Or like, how is it showing up for you. And like, here are some strategies, the key is to change your energy and get momentum. That’s really the key.
Amber Hawley 21:34
That’s, you know, why all of these different things can work and like, sometimes we need to do a combination of them. But if you want to get unstuck, and that’s the key if you want to, because sometimes we don’t, we want to get unstuck. And you try this list, I assure you that it will happen. If you would like a little extra support in this, like I said, the membership has lots of opportunities, we actually now have weekly co working. So you have these opportunities for accountability, or even just say, I’m feeling stuck or overwhelmed. And I don’t know where to start and to get feedback to kind of move you along and get through that. Plus, there’s lots of other workshops and trainings and support, to get that feedback and to learn how to kind of structure things so that you start the day with clarity and so that you aren’t living in a place of complete overwhelm, right? Like, we all have moments of that, because that’s just life. But it shouldn’t be that way most of the time. Like you don’t have to live like that.
Amber Hawley 22:43
So I invite you to go on over to Amberhawley.com/innercircle for more information about the membership, and you can try it out for a month. Because I assure you, I think you will actually get a lot out of it. I would love to support you in that. So here’s to getting unstuck, and I hope if you’re in a place where you’re like, Oh yeah, I’ve been putting off this one thing or I’m just feeling stuck around this certain project. I hope that you go do something on this list right after this episode and you get that thing done. I would love to hear about it. So feel free to email me at hello at Amber holly.com. And let me know if you’re getting unstuck or let me know if you’re still feeling stuck. I would love to support you in that as well. So have a wonderful day and here’s to getting unstuck.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
The Inner Circle
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