Everything is Cancel-able!
I have a motto that I teach to my overwhelmed, burned-out and exhausted clients, “everything is cancel-able!” We are a nation of overscheduled, overcommitted and STRESSED-OUT Women! And add into that either owning your own business or having a demanding job and forget-about-it! There are just so many demands out there on our time and energy and we have to start being more protective of where our attention and time goes or there will be nothing left. I have seen it with too many clients and have experienced it first hand.
The first step in addressing burnout or overwhelm is to stop adding to our plate. We need to start saying no to others and yes to our own well-being. When working with one client we discussed this and she was fully on board but said, “I already am committed to so much for the next couple of months” and that is where my mantra was born. Everything is cancel-able!!! And especially when sh*t is hitting the fan. You don’t need to wait until a major tragedy happens and you actually cannot do anything, but you SHOULD allow yourself to cancel as prevention and as a way of giving yourself some sanity when you are teetering on the edge. For example: if you say to yourself “I could do it, but I am really stressed right now”, Then Don’t do it!
You have to do a self inventory of why you are doing what you are doing and what your schedule/life/commitments look like right now.
Some of the reasons that I see people not set boundaries around their time are:
People Pleasing – We all want to be liked or thought well of but sometimes we can agree to things not because they are important to us or actually work in our schedule when this isn’t in check. I’m not saying to never help others, being helpful and giving is a great quality, it makes the world a better place to be in. When it is taken too far or done for the wrong reasons it can become codependent and/or actually hurt your relationships in the long run.
Superwoman – Superwoman sucks! Now don’t get me wrong, getting the looks and comments of adulation are wonderful. Whose ego wouldn’t like that? Doing everything for everyone and taking care of everything but behind the scenes you are miserable, stressed, or feeling put-upon. I ask you is looking like you have it all together more important than being real about your limits and actually enjoying your life!
Guilt – This is a tough one, I say this because guilt is a powerful motivator but it is also extremely toxic. When you are only doing something because of guilt I suggest you talk to a trusted person in your life and see if they can help you look at it a different way to remove guilt from the equation.
You just love doing it all! – I get it, Between FOMO, being an Extrovert and a love for events I can easily fill up my calendar as well. It’s usually all “FUN” stuff but that much go, go, go usually results in me needing a day of doing nothing but watching Netflix.
When we do things ONLY to please others, or because of guilt or a sense that we have to do it all to be worthy it leaves us feeling stressed, depleted, resentful and unable to cope with the myriad of surprises life likes to throw us!
So what can you easily let go of right now?
Whether it’s a meeting you don’t really need to attend, a dinner with someone you don’t particularly enjoy seeing, an expectation you have for yourself that you can let go of (if not forever then temporarily). Start with the easy ones and then work your way up to things that don’t really serve your priorities and/or life goals and are really more “I should.” Let them go and don’t look back. Claim your time back by the day or the hour if you have to, so that you can have time for the things that really matter to you or that give you energy and fulfillment. If you really need help or a gentle reminder, write the motto down on a sticky note(s) so when you feel resistance to doing something or are overloaded you may more readily be willing to cancel that shit! (for those of you who are with the spelling police you can use cancellable, but I feel cancel-able really sets home that you are ABLE to CANCEL EVERYTHING!)
I love hearing about people setting boundaries and choosing what matters to them. Tell us about the things you said no to or canceled in the comments below and if you want more information about how to get in touch with what priorities you need give some TLC to then download our free action plan (sign up below).
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